I am not homophobic. Though I'm not queer myself, I have a bunch of friends who are. What you read next is not meant to be offensive at all. I just thought it would be funny if people thought Darcy was gay, since he is so obviously straight.
Darcy POV
How you act on the first day of school can make a big impression on your students. Which was why I was going to kill Jess. But before I do that, I should probably start from the beginning...
Five months earlier...
"Are you excited?" I ask Jess.
She takes a deep breath. "Yes."
"I can't believe this is happening," I tell her, "I mean, I waited for so long to do it, and now, after I've done it, I don't want to tell other people. I know our parents will love it and everything, and probably tell us it took us so long, or something, but I'm still really nervous." I glance down at Jess. "Are you sure your dad won't kill me?"
Jess laughs. "Darcy! He won't! Know don't be afraid." Right then, Jess gets a mischievous look in her eyes. "In fact, to make you even less nervous, I think we should bet on something."
"A bet?"
"Yes. I bet that our moms will ask us when the grand babies will arrive."
"What? No! No way! They'll congratulate us first, or tell us they don't know why we took so long!"
Jess just smiles mysteriously. "We'll see, but when I win, you'll have do do anything I tell you to do."
Before I can reply, Jess goes up to the front door, takes out her key, unlocks the door, and goes inside.
"Jess, is that you?" Mrs. Delaney asks, before rounding the corner. When she sees both of us, she smiles. "Darcy! You too! What a surprise! In fact, your mom and I were just discussing when your next visit would be!"
I glance at Jess. Perfect. "Can we talk to you both?"
Mrs. Delaney raises her eyebrows. "Oh. Sure."
She leads us to the living room.
"Phoebe, guess who showed up at the front door!'
My mom turns around. "Darcy! Jess! What are doing here?"
"Apparently, they have something to tell us." Mrs. Delaney says.
"Please don't tell me you got her pregnant Darcy!" Mom says.
"No! Of course not! It's just tha-"
"-We're engaged." Jess says, interrupting me.
Mom and Mrs. Delaney glance at each other, then, simultaneously, they say, "So when are the grand babies coming?"
Jess smirks at me, and mouths I told you.
Back to the present
"Okay class. My name is Professor Hawthorne. I expect you to take this class seriously, and to-"
"Are you gay?" a student asks.
"-and to not interrupt me as I'm talking. Understand?"
"But are you?" the same student asks.
"Am I what?"
"Are you gay?"
"Why do you ask?"
"Well, you're wearing skinny jeans, and a shirt that says gay pride."
"Yes," I say, while mentally planning to kill Jess.
And now all my student think I'm gay.