"Worn"
He collapses on the steps in the front of the palace now broken and cracked by God's wrath, his legs unable to support his weight. He's light-headed and he can't seem to take a deep enough breath and he can feel the build-up of sobs he tries to force back.
All dead. The firstborn of Egypt have been taken by the Lord. He can hear the crying of the distraught mothers and fathers who have discovered their children's lifeless bodies, he has seen the final evidence in Rameses's dead son laid out on the raised dais in the palace. His brother's son, dead at his God's hands; the price for the Hebrews' freedom. Moses has freed his people but he has lost Rameses as a brother forever. He collapses against the stone and sobs. For the children. For the parents. For himself.
He's so tired. He's known physical exhaustion before since living in Midian but this is heartache and pain of the soul, and he cannot remedy it by drink or food or rest.
Moses wishes for the comforts of his home with Tzipporah where they lived in the desert, far from Egypt and its history, where he was safe in anonymity. He wishes again that God had chosen another to confront Pharaoh with the freeing of His people. He almost wishes that he had never allowed his curiosity to lead him to finding that burning bush in the first place but he recoils from that possibility of thinking.
No matter the consequences or the pain or even the anger he may feel, Moses cannot let the Lord go. He has been wrapped in His embrace and soothed by His presence and cannot turn away from Him.
My God, he pleads feverishly, desperate for comfort. My God.
Amidst his tears he prays for those lost souls, that they are safe and unpunished in whatever Afterlife the Lord has created for them; he prays for Rameses, that the indescribable pain of the loss of a child will be soothed and calmed.
He curls tighter into himself, wishing to blend into the shadows and forget. His sobs continue unrestrained.
My God, he cries again, in agony. Come to your servant's aide.
There is no answer. God does not speak, nor does He move in that moment. Perhaps it is His own choice to leave his Child's pain intact; perhaps it is Moses's own grief that does not allow him to feel God's presence.
Whatever the reason, there is no comfort. There is no peace.
And Moses, in that moment as he tries to stop his trembling, is truly terrified.