Summary: Sometimes dreams don't come true but that's okay because reality can be so much better. Soulmates color prompt. Part of the "Colors of the World" series. Can be read alone. Complete.

A/N: Man, I just seem to be churning these out lately. Like the summary said, you don't need to read the others in the series to understand this one. Just a little warning I am a bit vague when it takes place, it's somewhere in the mid 1800s... Fun story, for a moment I forgot Poland was part of the Soviet Union so I had to set this story further back in time... Fun times.

Warnings: Angst but with a happy ending

Enjoy!

Neon Yellow, The Color of Electricity

Lithuania had had an idea of who his soulmate would be long before they ever met. His youth was spent dreaming exactly what they would be like and what type of bond they would share. He knew they would be strong and confident in ways that he was not, but still soft enough to hold. He thought perhaps they would be someone who could enjoy the silence with him. Definitely, they would be someone he could sit for hours with as they exchanged pleasant stories and challenged each other to games of chess. They would be comfortable. Yes, Lithuania had dreamed a picture of what he wanted from his soulmate.

When Lithuania first saw Poland the colors seemed to buzz around him. He felt a faint tingling as his heart filled him with new energy he had never experienced before. It was a surprise but a welcome one. It was a welcome surprise for that brief moment before Poland opened his mouth. For that moment Lithuania had his dreams made flesh, the beautiful blond in front of him was just for him and their countries were already joining! They wouldn't truly bond yet, it was much too soon, but this laid such a great foundation for the future. He would have his strong companion and everything would be perfect. However, the happy tingling soon turned into shocking electric jolts as Poland started to speak and zapped those dreams away.

It wasn't until much later, and with endless patience, that Lithuania started to see all of his dreams in new ways, both good and bad. He hadn't realized that strength could mean many things. He didn't know that confidence could lead to over confidence to hide an otherwise shy personality. That silence could come from them being utterly lost in a nonsensical train of thought. That pleasant stories could turn into morbid, but still silly, ones. That playing games could be challenging not because of a battle of wits but because your partner didn't follow the rules. That just being comfortable was rather boring.

However, he also realized Poland was exactly who he needed in life. That this brash and oblivious man was what he ultimately wanted. Poland was like a force of nature that kept him on his toes, always having to react and be more. He made him go past his comfort zones so he could grow beyond what he already was. Poland kept him from becoming passive and stopped his life from becoming dull. Rather than getting a protector he got a partner.

When they were forced to split it was like a lightning strike directly to Lithuania's heart. It hurt but he would have been bearable if Poland had at least tried to fight for them. Lithuania fought tooth and nail to stay whole, to stay with Poland. He thought that Poland would do the same. He thought that the other would be crying, pleading, fighting, anything to keep them together but instead he was calm at the news. Calm at the news that he would be split from his soulmate. Their commonwealth destroyed as his soulmate's land was being partitioned and taken as trophies of war.

Poland was stone faced as he watched Lithuania being taken away.

Years passed.

Borders changed.

More wars were fought.

Words were rarely exchanged.

Lithuania all the while felt betrayed but nevertheless still worried after his soulmate. He hated that they were separated and he hated that despite everything he knew the other was suffering as well. In all of his dreams they were always together, together and whole. However, it wasn't up to him and Poland didn't seem to care.

The first time they saw each other for any length of time was after Poland also got conquered by Russia. At long last they were united but it was only under the worst of circumstances. They were together again but there was still an unsurmountable distance between them.

"Hey- Liet, hey," Poland was poking Lithuania to get his attention. Ever since being reunited with one another Lithuania had been avoiding him. Even now, when Poland had finally caught up with him the blond was being ignored. "Hey, Toris, why are you ignoring me? Like, we totally need to catch up."

Lithuania looked to Poland quickly when he heard his name. He couldn't ignore Felix anymore.

"Why? Why Felix- no Poland. Do you really need to ask?" Tears were gathering in Lithuania's eyes. All the rage, all the sadness… all the disappointment, were racing to the surface. He had been avoiding Poland this long just so he could avoid this talk. This talk he never dreamed he would need to have with his soulmate.

"Like, yeah, we haven't been able to, like, hang out in a while and I missed you or whatever," Poland said a little awkwardly, a small blush on his cheeks.

"Let me ask you something instead." Poland looked up before Lithuania continued, "Why? Why did you let them take me?"

Lithuania went straight to the point. If they were going to have this conversation, they were going to have it and be done. Poland was caught off guard at the question and quickly tried to compose himself. He automatically fell into his flippant defense mechanism of fake nonchalance.

"Like, I couldn't take them. They were way too strong and I would have lost. So really, what difference would it have made?" Poland's tone didn't match his body language as he guiltily fiddled with his clothes as his eyes fixed themselves to anything but his soulmate.

"What difference? What difference! We're soulmates! We loved each other and they took me from you!" Lithuania's tears finally fell as his ager rose. He had been holding this in for so long and it was all finally coming to light. A storm that had finally come. "I thought you loved me! That you would do anything to keep us together like I did! But you didn't even try! You didn't even seem to try to keep me with you."

Poland looked up sharply at those words. His eyes serious for the first time in a long time with a glassy sheer betraying the hurt he had felt. Lithuania hadn't known the other could have such a look.

"Of course I tried! But, like, if either of us died that would have been the end! I totally couldn't ever see you again if one of us died, could I? At least if I let you go I knew you would be like alive or whatever," Poland's tears too started to stream down his face. Lithuania realized that he wasn't the only one holding things in for years.

There was a long pause as Lithuania tried to assess the situation. To see if the words Poland spoke were true and found only honesty and hurt. He took in a long breath before replying.

"Oh Felix," Lithuania said gently. The anger that had been haunting him for years suddenly drained away as he took his soulmate in his arms. Poland immediately burrowed into Lithuania and held onto him like a lifeline. He clutched to the person he had missed the most in this world. Poland had lived with the guilt of their separation for so long, with the disappointment he knew he was to Lithuania. Toris had deserved the soulmate of his dreams and Felix knew he wasn't that.

"I couldn't stand it but I couldn't help it. I'm sorry, I'm sorry I could be like what you dreamed for your soulmate. But I'm so happy you're alive. I would rather you hate me forever and be alive than have you be dead and love me," Poland was sobbing into Lithuania's neck as his grip tightened, refusing to let go once again. "I promise to be better, please, please- I'm sorry."

Lithuania didn't even know what was being promised or asked for but it broke his heart. He realized he was also crying as he tried to calm down his soulmate and that he held on just as tight as he made comforting gestures.

Truly, this was never how he dreamed his soulmate to be when he was young. He had thought they would big and strong enough for the both of them. That he would want a protector to save him. Now, as he held his soulmate in his arms, he realized that wasn't what he needed. Somewhere along the line his dream had changed. He realized his expectations were dwarfed by the reality of who his soulmate was to him.

"No Felix, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I made you feel this way and that I never thought to look at it from your point of view. I'm so sorry that I made you think you weren't what I wanted because you are everything I could have ever dreamed about. I love you and I'm so happy we can be back together. It's the only good thing to come from this situation."

Poland looked up and gave a small smile through watery eyes. Lithuania returned it before guiding them to a couch so they could continue holding onto each other. They both had missed one another and now they had to fix what had gone wrong.

There were issues that still needed to be resolved but that could be saved for another day. This wasn't their end. They could fight and misunderstand each other for all of time but that would never change the love they have for one another. As long as they were both still alive their love would continue to grow and keep them together no matter the distance between them.

A/N: I hope you enjoyed it! If there are any questions or you spotted any mistakes please feel free to point them. Reviewers get hugs!

Published: 16 May 2018