Time-line: T'Pol is 25 years old in this chapter. In Vulcan terms she is a teen.
Author's Note: This chapter is a rewrite of a story I have posted a couple years ago on this site. Thanks to BnB who encouraged me to expand this story and many thanks to my beta Artisticmom2.
Disclaimer: Enterprise and its characters are property of CBS/Paramount.
She felt a numbness in her body, spreading from her legs through her arms and her neck.
She had been sitting here for hours, in the same position, her back straight, her legs crossed, concentrating on the flame before her.
Her mother sat near her, her face closed as she had never seen before. It looked like stone, hard and cold, frozen in the moment T'Les had heard the news. From the moment her mother's world had collapsed. And T'Pol's as well.
These last days T'Pol had been engulfed by overwhelming emotions. Suppressing them had been difficult, nearly impossible. T'Pol had found herself aching for assurance that the report of her father's death was false and that her betrothed hadn't died with him, yearning that she would hear her father's voice in their house again, that T'Pol could asked him advice and that he would teach her in that loving way of his.
Her heart was full of grief, because she would never hear his voice again. Sometimes she thought she did. Then she would raise her head to listen very carefully. But it was just the whisper of the desert wind, blowing the sand into the sky.
She would never look at the stars again in his company, never share the desire to see new worlds, to discover new possibilities. Instead she would look at the stars with pain in her heart, because somewhere in that sky full of stars, her father had given his last breath.
Sitting in the long ceremony to celebrate her father's life and to bid him farewell, she looked at her mother. She felt a strong dislike for her mother. T'Pol had been betrothed since she was seven, according to good Vulcan custom. Now that her betrothed was gone, T'Les had wanted to find a new one. Mother had taken her responsibility seriously. She had hardly spoken to TPol since the news about her father's and betrothed's death, but before the ceremony mother had started the negotiations. It was only logical. The male mother had chosen was bound to Vulcan soil. Koss was the son of a member of the Senate and an architect with the desire to build up their home world, not to explore the stars.
She had met Koss's mother. She was an ambitious women, with cold eyes, who wanted her husband to be part of the government, a minister at least. What better way to let her youngest son marry the daughter of the famous minister Karik, the Vulcan hero, who died saving his people?
She knew that Koss's wife had died, without giving his parents their precious grandchild. T'Pol overheard Koss's father asking her mother if her hips weren't too small. Instead of chastising him for his foolish belief in a old Vulcan myth, T'Les had ensured him she could bear children.
Her dislike for Koss's family and Koss himself grew with the minute.
The priests were starting to sing. They stood up, her blood started to flow again. Minute after minute their voices would sing the old songs of grief. She heard the words and in her heart she repeated them over and over again. There were like oil on the wounds of her grief-stricken heart.
Slowly, they started walking towards the exit of the monastery. With force the priest opened the door and rays of sunshine illuminated the room. They stepped outside. The sunshine warmed her. She felt the dry desert wind on her face. She heard the rustle of the pollu and i'su'ke bushes nearby, the distant cry of a te-resh-kah, the silverly bird, flying in the sky. She smelled the distinct aroma of the indukah-tree. She breathed. This was her planet, her love. Like Vulcan had been the love of her father. She would do any thing to protect her planet and her people.
She walked away to their transport. Then she saw him. Firm face, gentle eyes. Her father's best friend. The father of her betrothed, her old betrothed, who had died as well.
She really appreciated him for coming in spite of his own grief.
"I grieve with thee, T'Pol", he said.
"And I with you", she said.
Then she looked Del'haiu Soval into his eyes. His grief was evident. As was his shock that her father's mission had failed so miserably.
For the first time she thought of something that would change her life forever. She would study for the next years and worked at a science post like planned. But when she reached the age of understanding, she would leave to join the ranks of the military. And when the call would come, she would postpone the wedding. She would find a way to unearth the truth. Who were the murderers of her father?
This was the moment her youth was gone. It became just a whisper of the past.