Disclaimer: I do not own Alice in Wonderland.

AN: So, to anyone who's followed/favorited this story, I sincerely apologize. I have no excuse for taking years to continue it. If you're still interested in reading this, thank you. But this won't be exactly the same story it was when I originally started writing it. The truth is, when I first started writing this, I didn't create a plan for it (which is fine in all honesty, some people are great at writing without planning, it just turns out it's not for me) and, because it's been four years (?), I don't remember where I had originally planned to take it. So I'm starting over, with an actual plan that will hopefully get me to complete this story. I hope that anyone who chooses to read this and likes this will be willing to be patient with me until I've finished (I refuse to give up on writing this). As usual, reviews and constructive criticism would be wonderful, but please no flames. Sorry for the lengthy Author's Note, and please enjoy!

BTW, I have, unfortunately, not read Alice in Wonderland in years (admittedly due to laziness). I know I should, and I would not blame people if they were to scold me for it, but, honestly, the story is what's most important in this case. I'll try to keep some remnant of what people love about the characters in, but if it interferes with the plot, I'm afraid I probably will change the characters. I believe Alice herself is already pretty different from the Alice of the books. So, I apologize to people who want to see the Alice (and, very likely, other characters) they got to know in Carroll's stories. But I hope you'll still be willing to give this a chance.

Prologue

Alice stared at the girl in the mirror. Cropped, dark brown hair (her mother's, she murmured) framing an almost round face and vivid green eyes (her father's, she hissed) set in pale skin, surrounded by dark, full eyelashes. Her. She wondered once if Lydia would have been proud of how pretty her baby sis grew up to be. But any thought of Lydia hurts, so she quickly forgot she ever thought of her. It was just easier.

Clenching a fist, she fought back the urge to punch the reflective glass, shatter the image of a pretty girl who'd cried herself to sleep last night. People always cared for the pretty ones, the beautiful ones. But who cared for Lydia? Only her. Only Alice.

Forcing thoughts of imperfect, but gentle smiles and soft laughter to the back of her mind, Alice turned away from the mirror. It had been the first time in ten years she'd allowed herself to see her reflection. She was sure her mother would have been pleased to see her grow up to look just like her, even if she had her father's eyes. Lydia hadn't gotten any of their mother's beauty, but she'd gotten her old soul and gentle heart. Alice wished she could've gotten even the smallest portion of that. But no, she was her father's daughter through and through.

Without a thought, her lips spread into a polite, but distant smile. There was none of her mother's warmth in her face, and she knew it without needing to look. She supposed the dull ache in her heart should have been numbed by now, ten years after she'd literally been taken from her mother's comforting arms mere hours after her older sister had been abducted. She didn't remember much of that time, but she did remember that she'd been forced to rapidly adjust when bright, warm smiles were replaced with cold, disapproving stares. It was only a matter of time before her soft, loving heart was coated with the thickest layer of ice. Love, affection, became something that only hurt, something she had no time for. So she pushed love, affection, out of her life. It was just easier.

The smile dropped from her face. She had no time for thinking about the past. The sooner she got through the day, the faster she could leave it all behind. Her eyes narrowed as she heard a sharp knock on the door. There was only one person it could be, and she had never particularly wanted to see him. Ever. Nevertheless, she strode to the door and opened it.

Her father stood regally in the hallway, a stern frown marring his still slightly youthful face. Alice never could understand what people thought so beautiful about him. Did they not see him for the cold, uncaring man he was? Sure, he had a full head of gleaming gold hair and bright, intelligent green eyes, but his personality couldn't possibly be bearable enough for people to look past it just because he had beautiful features. He'd never bothered to hide how superior he thought he was to others, including his own wife and daughters. Alice simply couldn't understand why people were still drawn to him like flies to honey. Even now, he was looking at his own daughter as if she were a mosquito. She supposed he probably actually thought she was.

"May I help you?" Ten years ago, she wouldn't have recognized the voice that had slipped past her lips. It was cold, unkind. It was unhappy. But that was ten years ago, this was now, and she never could quite hide her disdain for her father.

"You should have been ready five minutes ago. We'll be late thanks to your laziness," he replied, his voice equally as cold. Equally as unhappy. Alice briefly wondered if there had ever been a time in his life when he had genuinely smiled. She decided she didn't care.

"I am ready. I was ready twenty minutes ago. I was waiting for you."

"You're lucky the president was adamant that I bring you along. You'd be going without dinner tonight for your impudence." Alice rolled her eyes. As if she hasn't heard this same exact speech a million times before. Her father's eyes narrowed dangerously at her, but he said nothing. Turning away from her, he walked down the hallway, the sound of Alice's shoes clacking against the hardwood floor following after him.

The night had gone disastrously. Alice was just glad to finally be home. Home. She scoffed. She'd never imagined she would ever consider this place to be home. But then again her father had just decided to confine in her bedroom until she agreed to the arranged marriage. Which was not happening. Ever.

With a small smirk, she reached under the bed and pulled out her treasure. A coil of thick, braided rope unraveled as she held it contemplatively in both hands. She loosely tied it around her neck, pulled it off, adjusted the noose, and then tried it again. Grinning, she stood on top of a wooden stool and knotted one end of the rope around a ceiling rafter. With appraising eyes, she looked over the setup one last time before standing on top of the stool. The noose hung in front of her face, brushing her soft, pale skin ever so gently. For the first time in years, Alice allowed herself to happily think about Lydia.

I'll meet you in the afterlife. If you come back someday, I hope you'll forgive me for what I'm going to do now. I love you.

Alice placed her head through the noose and kicked the stool away. She was already unconscious when the rope suddenly snapped and sent her body tumbling to the cold, hard floor. She didn't hear the pounding footsteps heading to her room, the loud click as her door was unlocked and burst open. She didn't get to see something other than cold indifference in her father's eyes as he cradled her body against his rapidly beating heart.