I do not own magi
Monster
Finally, the carriages full of slaves are finally in sight. Just like yesterday, she would do exactly the same as yesterday. She would free them.
''You trash! How dare you oppose me? I am your master! Get back here!''
''No! It hurts!
A big fat man grasps a little girl by her short, shoulder length red hair. He hits her with a stick. Tears are rolling over the girls cheeks.
''Please stop, I'm sorry!''
''You have to learn to listen! You little bitch! You're my property! You're only alive to serve me!''
The man keeps on hitting her, she cries.
If this goes on I'm going to die...
''Haha you piece of trash!''
I don't want to die... don't want to die...I...
The girl closes her eyes and hits the man with her leg in the stomach. He falls on the ground. Angered he storms towards the girl. The girl is scared and afraid. She kicks the man again, he screams in pain: ''You bitch, what's with this strength? You stupid Fanalis, you monster!''
He tries to get up and crawls towards the girl But she punched him this time in the face. She hits him again and again. On his head, in his stomach, his face , his legs...
Bloods flows everywhere but she keeps on hitting him.
Don't want to die, don't want to die, have to survive...
She is in a trance.
Him or me , him or me...
She doesn't want to die, doesn't want it to hurt anymore. She want to be free , she wants to live.
The man screams in agonizing pain: ''Stop, you animal, you beast, you murderer, you monster!''
Then he doesn't say anything anymore and stops moving. The girl looks at the lifeless eyes of the man, then she passes out and falls on the ground next to the motionless body.
From that time one everyone who tried to hurt her she had killed. They tried to capture het, take her freedom, make her serve them. But she wouldn't let them. All of them, she would kill all of them. They who tried to hurt her would regret it. She would kill them all. She was a animal, a beast. Sometimes she even enjoyed the pained look of the men. Right now, begging her for mercy while just a moment ago they acted like they were an al mighty god. At those moments she felt so powerful. When she was fighting her body was full of energy and she felt like she could do anything. People called her a fanalis and pointed at her red her. She understood that she was different she was not ''normal''. Those men she killed, why would she care about them? They didn't care about her, all they could she was a ''product''. She was an animal, a beast a monster. Just like that man said. It was all true. This was her nature. This is what she is what everyone think. And if this is what she is, a monster, then she should act like that. Every time she killed someone when that person tried to kill her she thinks back to that one memory. Him or me. Killing because she felt endangered is het nature, she is a beast. Acting on instinct, killing on instinct, thinking on instinct, just like an animal. If a monster is what she is, she will be it. But even so, even if she wants to justify her action by that, evens so ... every night she wakes up screaming. Dreaming of drowning in the blood of the people she killed, them screaming against her with their blank eyes. Not one night she can get a good rest. Every time she kills someone she cleans her hands. Over and over. But it doesn't help, she can see it, even though it should be gone she can see the blood on her hands, she can smell it. It drives her crazy and she doesn't want to think about it.
This is what I should be doing, me or them, me or them. Monster, I am a monster that is what they say, that is what I am.
Somewhere she knows that what she is doing is not right but she ignores it otherwise, she wouldn't know what to do, how to live, she is already at the end, she can never go back. She has done too much. She ignores the voice in her head, she runs away. Away from her guilt, pain, grief and sorrow.
She relies on her instinct and ignores anything else.
Finally the carriage is within range. She prepares to attack. She sees a middle-aged man driving the carriage. She decided, she would kill him first. She jumps from her hiding place and dashes to the man. When her fist almost reach the neck of the man she gets punched into her stomach and flies a few meters away.
''What?''
Before she can get up she is seized from behind by her head and smashed into the ground.
''What? It was just a young girl?''
''Captain what should we do?''
Slowly she is turning her head to see who is holding her down. It's a big man with red hair and a scar on his face. The one who punched her is a woman with also red hair. Just like her. When she tries to get out of the grip of the man he makes his grip on her stronger. It causes her pain, she screams.
''Lo'lo' what are you doing? Your breaking her bones you know?''
"Well how can I help it? She is just too weak.''
''What do you want to do now brother?''
Another men appeared, she could hear his footsteps he was coming closer. She had to get away or she would be killed. What was she going to do? How was she going to get away? The man with the scar was holding her down and she knew she wasn't strong enough to get out of his grip, let alone defeat him. Even if she could get out of his grip was she fast enough to escape? There was also a woman, she knew because of the voice. Outrun her? Maybe. But now there was also a third person coming closer and closer. She started to panic.
I need to get away otherwise I will be killed, I don't want that, I want to live..live... Have to get away, is there not something I can do? Its them or me, them or me.
In a final moment of despair she tries to punch the man with the scar in his face but in vain. He lets go of his grip and then kicks her in the ground.
''That's enough.'' She hears a voice say.
She is lying on the ground, for the first time since that moment she is scared. She can't defeat them she is to weak. She thought she could do anything, she thought she was going to live. But now she is going to die. It is them or me. And in the and she guesses it is them.
She is afraid and scared. She just wants to disappear. She want to go to a place where she won't get hurt, a safe place. She doesn't want it to hurts so much. Why is her heart hurting so much?
Why do is have to end like this? Why? Why her? Why this?
She can't move her body. Everything hurts, she can't escape it really is over.
She feels that her head is being lifted. She sees that the man is coming closer. This is it then, this was it. She feels numb. She still wants to run away but it will be in vain. This really is the end. It is them not me. She closes her eyes, to afraid to look to one who will end her in the eyes.
Is this how to people she murdered felt? Is this justice?
When he was sent by lady Scheherazade to capture a person who freed the slaves who were supposed to fight in the coliseum. Rapports said it was a fanalis and so he was send. But he couldn't believe his eyes. Before him, the one Lo'lo' was holding was a young girl around thirteen/fourteen. It seems she was very confused and didn't know what was happening. After Lo'lo' had kicked her she started shaking. She must be extremely scared right now he taught. What was he going to do?
She feels ashamed. Pinned down and now being so hopeless, so useless. She thought she was strong but these guys are just not normal . Just like her. She tries to hold back her tears. She can't show them that she is scared, she can't show them that she is weak. The weak will always die. She takes a deep breath, tries to stop trembling and gives the man now standing before her a murderous look. But the man only looks back with pity.
Pity? Why? That not what she want... what she wants. She want to live to be free, free from everything.
The look in the man then changes. He sighed deeply and then proceeds with walking closer to her.
What is that look in his eyes? It looks like he is accusing her from something... from what? All what she did was because she is a monster, a beast an animal isn't it? Right?
The man kneels down and his eyes meet hers. Then she breaks down. Tears fall down her cheeks. She crying. She has not cried since that moment. And right now she is letting everything that she has hold up out. She didn't really want to be a monster but was there no other way right? She doesn't want die. All she wanted was to be free from the pain. She didn't want it to hurt. Not her scars, not her heart, nothing.
He looks her right in the eyes, she is breaking down.
'Why would this little girl kill all those slave traders?
Okay that was not really a question he already knew the answer. She must have been through a lot. Too much for such a little girl to handle.
''Captain...''
''Brother what are you going to do?''
When the girl finally stopped with crying she looked him in the eyes again. Behind the mask of a killer he saw a little girl who was lost. He couldn't blame her. He holds his hand up and Lo'lo lets the girl go, but he still holds an eye on her.
"why did you kill the slave traders?''
When she stopped crying she looked the man in the eyes again. For the first time she started to get a good look of him. He looked young but not too young. He had red, long hair and his eyes looked the same as hers. They all, all three of them looked the same as her. The man hold his hand up and the other man with the scar let her go. This was her chance to run but she knew she wouldn't be able to go anywhere so she just sat on her knees.
The man started asking her questions.
''Why did you kill the slave traders.''
The man behind her snorts.
''Shut up Lo'lo! Let my brother ask her questions.''
''you shut up Myron''
''What did you say?!''
''Guys? ''
"Sorry brother.''
''Sorry captain.''
The two gave each other looks but then looked at the girl again.
''Well, the man with long red hair said, why did you kill them?''
The girl took a deep breath, she thinks it is for the best to just answer him, maybe he will let her go, properly not.
"Do I need a reason? I am a monster, do I need a reason to kill?''
At this the man frowned. The girl could feel the stares from the other two in her back.
Then she starts to wonder, why would he be worried about those slave traders? If he is the same as she, then he is also a fanalis. Then he must have been a slave to. Why would he worry about them?
''Why did you stop me? Why save the slave traders when you yourself were a slave? How ironic, a former slave saving slave traders''
''What the hell are you saying? The woman shouted. Me and my brother were/are not slaves. We have the blood of the family Alexius in our veins we are-''
"its fine" the man before the girl says.''
"I was not a slave but I know people who were, but this is not about me this is about you. And you're, right why should I care about them? I don't. But I do care for the Reim empire and its citizen and that includes the slave traders. My loyalty lies by The Alexius family and if they want me to protect those slave traders I will. They wouldn't ask me if there was no good reason.
The girl didn't know how the answer. She also didn't understand what this man wanted from her.
''I haven't introduced myself yet, the man stated, I am Muu Alexius. What is your name?''
The girl was silent for some time, didn't understand the point of this but then answered: ''Sirah.''
''Sirah, Muu repeated.''
He stood up. ''Okay I have decided to take you with me.''
''Huh?''
The girl was surprised, why would he take her with him? And to where/ she killed, she was a murderer... Did this mean he wouldn't kill her? She could stay alive?
''Why? I am a murderer! I am-''
"So? Didn't I just tell you? I don't really care about them, I can't leave you here. It is not all your fault and I'm going to help you. You're coming with me and when you're alt enough you're going to join the fanalis corps and then you can repent for what you have done to the people of Reim by fighting for the people of Reim. I will promise you this: no one will ever hurt you again. But I can't stop you from hurting yourself. Well, do we have a deal?''
Muu stretches his hand out for Sahir to shake.
Could she really go with him? There was something special about him, something she couldn't describe. She did want to go with him.
"I killed people, I am a monster, a beast.''
''Then that is just how it is, just like us.''
With this answer she took his hand.
''Are you sure brother?''
''Yes Myron, can you help her up?''
"if it's what you think is for the best captain, but what about-''
''I will talk to lady Scheherazade.''
The woman, named Myron helped Sahir up and carried her on her back.
While they were running Sahir looked up at the sky. Maybe at that place she could be free, free from the pain others caused her and the pain she caused herself. It would never really go away but maybe she could learn to live with it. To live with everything she has done. She rests her head on the back of the Myron.
Maybe it doesn't have to be me or them. Maybe it can be us. Maybe it can be everyone.