"My dad is cooler than your dad," Tony Coulson decided as he sat beside Scott Xavier. The two were sitting alongside the sidewalk, both eating a popsicle. It was a warm, sunny summer day, so they were attempting to cool off without having to strip and dump themselves into the Xavier pool, where all the older Xavier kids currently were. "He works for the school board of the school we're going to."

"That's nice," Scott smirked. "But my dad can read your dad's mind and get all his secrets and stuff."

"My dad doesn't have any cool powers, but he once stopped a gas station robbery by throwing flour at the guy's head," Tony said then, attempting with all his might to beat Scott at this game.

"As if!"

"It's true! Bruce and Steve and Thor were there, they saw it all! It was before me and the twins, you see."

"That means it happened at least ten years ago. You're eight and they're nine, and that's nearly impossible. That's forever ago," Scott said, not believing a single word.

Tony sighed. Oh well, at least he felt that his dad was cooler than Scott's dad. There was nothing wrong with that.

"My dad has a licence to have a gun, did you know that?" Tony asked Scott one day on the school bus to school. "Steve says that it's because he was in the law enforcement job once."

"Did you know my dad was once part of a mutant rebellion?" Scott asked, as Tony's face fell. "That's why he's in the wheelchair."

Eventually, they switched to trying to one-up each other by selling off their siblings' secrets to each other. "Clint and Natasha can shoot each other's peashots out of the air!"

"Kitty once left her toothbrush inside of Hank," Scott said.

Tony faltered. "How...?"

Scott started snickering. "She can phase through things, right? Well once, when getting ready for first grade, she was brushing her teeth and bumped into Hank, and accidentally left her toothbrush behind inside of his stomach."

Clint&Natasha Coulson vs. Kitty Xavier somehow didn't go the way Tony had planned. The sad part was Kitty was seven, not nine.

"Bruce has this special power where, whenever he gets really, really mad, he turns into raging green monster!" Tony said to Scott the next day during lunch with Peter Guardian, Jean Grey and Ororo and Remy LeBeau. "He loses control of himself so much and he nearly trashes the whole house, and the only one in our family able to even go one on one with him, is Thor!"

"Hank is always in his beast form," Scott pointed out. "And he has control over it. Trumped!"

"What... What are you guys doing?" asked Jean.

"Yes, you've been doing this all week," Ororo complained. Remy nodded in agreement.

"We're having a family-off," Tony explained. "I've been trying to one-up his family with my family but everything I say he has something else to say to it!"

"In other words, Jean," Scott said as he ate his sandwich. "The Xaviers have been winning to the Coulsons according to us."

"The Xaviers are all mutants, no?" Remy asked his adoptive sister. "Remy pretty sure the Coulson's all regular, average humans."

"They are," Ororo groaned. "This is pointless."

"Just wait until I bring up Steve!" Tony huffed.

Peter Guardian smirked then, putting down his sandwich and rolling up his sleeve to show a series of scars that looked like teeth marks. Everyone stared in awe at these marks, before they looked up at the still grinning Peter.

"My baby brother bites," he announced. "Sometimes, there's even blood."

The Guardians won that day.