AN: So, yeah. This story was originally posted to my AO3 account under the same name. Also, this story is kinda AU anyways, but now that it's been announced that Trubel is coming back to Grimm anyway it's that much more of an AU. Also, I'm sorry if I get anything wrong or if anyone seems OOC. Final thing to keep in mind is that this story was written in and takes place in January 2015, so please keep that in mind.

"Almost all absurdity of conduct arises from the imitation of those who we cannot resemble." Samuel Johnson

Theresa Rubel wasn't stupid. By all accounts, maybe a bit crazy, but definitely not stupid. And because she knew things most twenty-one year olds probably shouldn't, Theresa knew when she was being followed. She knew it was a necessity in her lifestyle; with who she was, it was better to be at least two steps ahead at all times. Unfortunately, since she was being followed, that meant that Trubel (as most called her, and really, it was a rather fitting name) needed to get rid of her tail before she left Rhinebeck, even if every single one of her instincts were screaming at her to get out of town before the wesen population noticed her. She'd certainly noticed them.

Trubel sometimes wondered why she ever left Portland, before her pride came into play and she remembered one of the reasons she had: she wanted to make her own life. Portland with Nick and Juliette and Monroe and Rosalee and Hank and Bud had been great, but even if she kept in touch with them, she felt she needed to stay away from Portland for as long as possible. She could have stayed with Nick indefinitely longer, maybe learned more tricks from him and gotten a couple more books, but aside from a couple calls to Portland every so often when she thought she should check in with him or she needed help with documenting another new type of wesen (new to her, anyway) into her journal, she almost never spoke to Nick.

It was kind of nice for a while, at first. Being on her own again. Trubel was a free spirit. She couldn't stay in one place for too long without feeling like she was taking advantage of someone; an after-effect of life in the system. With the station wagon that Nick had given Trubel, the one that wasn't personally what Trubel would have picked for herself but took gratefully because she'd never had her own car and because it had belong to Nick's aunt Marie, who had raised him after his dad died. Nick didn't like mentioning his family, Trubel noticed. When he had given her the car, Trubel thought Nick might keel over in his offer and make sure she never mentioned it again, but Trubel knew how much it meant if he'd give it to her, so she accepted before he changed his mind. It was coming in handy as of late; Trubel hadn't even been gone a full month but she'd already traversed over 3000 miles of the country. She also slept in the station wagon if she couldn't find anywhere else, which was admittedly rather uncomfortable, but it was better than breaking into empty or condemned buildings to spend the night like she'd once done.

Trubel's original plan when she arrived in Rhinebeck was to fill the gas tank and then keep driving until either morning or until she threatened to fall asleep at the wheel. But, of course, when she'd been about to pull out of the gas station she first noticed the black car. It seemed sort of expensive to be filling up in a gas station outside of town, but Trubel had brushed it off to travellers with expensive taste, or a rich kid taking some friends to a party (she could see at least two people in the car, but she was sure there were three). When she stopped by a motel to see what the prices were (she was hungry and hadn't slept in a couple days), and noticed the car stop off behind her. She didn't see anyone get out while she was in the lobby, and nobody came in while she went back to get an overnight bag from the station wagon, so she assumed either they weren't actually going to a party. Or maybe they were teenagers getting high on the way to a party?

The next day, when Trubel left, she noticed the same car following her. She began to grow suspicious, especially when she stopped to ask for directions to a place Nick had off-handedly suggested she try visiting if she got the chance and the car followed her there, then to a take out place near the motel, and it was then she decided she'd try to shake her tail the next day by looking like some innocent local or a nomad travelling the states or something. This didn't end up working, however, because of course someone at the mall would turn out to be wesen, and or course it had to be a freaking Klaustreich. It wouldn't even be half bad, but of course they had to be part of the small group of wesen who'd rather try and 'beat the Grimm outta her' then to actually kill her. So off she ran, at least two miles away from the mall and the station wagon with all her stuff in it, while a Klaustrike, a Schakal, and a Blutbad chased after her like a piece of meat. Oh god, Nick was gonna kill her if he found out she's already punched one of them. Twice.

God, people said that Captain America had had a penchant for trouble. At least he wasn't named for it.

Even Trubel wasn't invincible. She knew that, and she knew it well. She didn't have any weapons on her, and unlike the two wesen that she'd run into when she first got to Portland, these three guys chasing her didn't seem to be the type to use such weapons as knives. If they were armed, they probably had guns, and even then, it was more likely that they'd vogue and attack in wesen form, making it all the more dangerous, not just to her, but to anyone who could possibly be nearby. I

t felt like her legs were on fire. She'd been running non-stop for almost three miles, and she was beginning to regret leaving her stuff in the station wagon. Trubel was swearing, trying not to fall over. She wasn't faring well, and she knew that at the moment, this fight would most likely be her last. She sorta regretted not calling Nick last night like she'd contemplated doing. However, just a Trubel crashed into the dirt with a loud thump, something happened. The Schakal cried out, landing on the ground in front of his two buddies, an arrow sticking out of his right bicep. Seeing this just made the Blutbad and the Klaustrike angrier. A lot angrier. But then it happened again. None of the three heard it, but before anyone could react, another arrow came whizzing past Trubel's shoulder where she was crouched, and hit the Blutbad straight through the stomach before a third and final arrow was fired off (much closer this time, Trubel could tell), and caught the Klaustreich's shoulder, grazing badly and flying a few feet further until it buried itself into a tree trunk. Even though the three were badly injured (the Blutbad was the worst, he was beginning to grow pale and Trubel only needed one look to know that if he didn't get to a hospital within half an hour, he'd die right there), the Klaustrike and the Schakal made to go after Trubel again, until a flash of red and black made it's way in front of Trubel, more silent than Trubel thought was possible, and took them both out before grabbing Trubel's arm and dragging her away from the incapacitated men, and ignoring Trubel's gripes and protests.

"I just need to talk to you." The woman said, in a sort of scratchy and yet somehow smooth voice.

"Couldn't you have just waited two minutes, Nat?" a male voice asks a moment later, before Trubel has time to respond. "

No, Clint, I couldn't have, because two ore minutes and those guys would've had her for supper." The red-headed woman replies to the man, a blonde with a quiver on his hip and a bow case at his feet. Behind him, another woman, though closer to Trubel's age and with black hair, rolls her eyes.

"Yeah, almost literally." The black haired girl says. The man snorts.

"Sure they did, Katie-Kate. And I'm King of Asgard." He says, sarcasm coating his tone.

"I'm sorry, but I thought you guys wanted to talk to me?" Trubel said, interrupting the comment that was about to leave the redhead's mouth.

"Well, I did. I don't know about that dummy." She said, pointing to the man. "A, uh.. Friend, of ours told us about you. You seem to have some rather, interesting abilities." The redhead said. It seemed as though she was skittering around something, though Trubel thought she could guess what. She was still kind of curious, though.

"If you're working for Chavez-"

"Who's Chavez?" the blonde man asks.

"Theresa, we don't work for Chavez. In fact, we've been helping to keep her off your trail."

"How the hell do you know my name?" Trubel asks, because the last time someone she'd never met knew her name it didn't end well.

"Theresa, calm down-"

"Nat, maybe we should do this somewhere else-"

"Guys,-" By now, Trubel has taken off running. She makes it about fifteen feet before the redhead manages to pin her down.

"You know, there is an easier way to do this." She says. Somehow, it doesn't make Trubel trust her any more than she already doesn't.

Half an hour later finds Trubel sitting in her motel room with the three people from the woods- Clint, Natasha, and Kate- sitting on the other bed, telling her about some guy named Fury who thinks she's got a lot of potential. Trubel personally thinks it's a load of bullshit.

Luckily, whoever this Fury guy seems to be, he's not wesen, or he at least doesn't know Trubel's a Grimm. He does, apparently, know how good she is at fighting, and Trubel has to force Natasha to change the subject before they can get into the people she's killed (in self defence, of course. Being a Grimm is anything but safe).

The three of them have an offer to make Trubel. They are part of a team called the Avengers (well, Nat and Clint are' Kate is an unofficial member), and apparently their boss dude thinks Trubel would make a good addition, especially if she could learn to ameliorate and hone her skills (Natasha says those are Fury's words, not theirs).

Trubel doesn't know what to do. The thought of moving in somewhere with about ten other people and still having her own floor to live on is overwhelming, considering not thirty days ago she left the most stable home she remembered so that she could get outta Nick's hair and have some of her freedom back. Of course, another part of her is screaming at her to take the deal; no more running, no more stealing clothes and money and food, no more pretending to be something she's not. Except she's still have to pretend she's not a Grimm, or these people will just get added to the list of people who've tried to commit her into a mental hospital. Given the Avengers' reputations, Trubel thinks that they'd actually win, with this one.

She doesn't even realize what she's doing until the words "I don't wanna be a burden" leave her mouth, and then she immediately regrets them. Clint, however, flashes her an understanding little smile.

"You were in the system growing up, weren't you?" he asks, and doesn't even wait for an answer before continuing, "Avengers Tower is owned by Tony Stark. He may seem kinda off but he's actually got a heart, contrary to popular belief. If it's got anything to do with science or the Avengers, he's the first one to put his hand into it."

Nat chuckles. "Yeah. He's so used to buttering people up that he could have you agreeing to move in in under a minute and you'd have only realized it when you got to the Tower."

Trubel is still sort of unsure, so Kate decides to make a suggestion.

"What if she stayed at the Tower for a week or so, and then she can decide if she likes it or not. If she does, she can stay. If she doesn't, she can just leave, no questions asked." This option seems to please everyone. Mostly, at least. Trubel's still not sure about it, considering she loved being at Nick and Juliette's and she still left, despite both of them telling her she should stay as long as she needed to, but she agrees anyway, just to get this Fury guy off her back. Besides, she's not even sure she'll like it that much, anyway. Trubel never really like big groups, especially if there's nearly a dozen people in said group.

When Trubel promised to give Avengers Tower a try, she never anticipated how much her life would change.

The first thing Trubel noticed when she, Natasha, Clint, and Kate finally arrived at Avengers Tower was how big it was. She'd seen a picture of it once upon a time, after the whole Chitauri incident, but she now that she was standing in front of it she realized that pictures in the newspaper didn't do it justice.

The inside of the building was very extravagant. Trubel was fairly certain that Avengers Tower was more expensive than every other building she'd ever entered. Ever. It all had a very modern feel to it, and when she was led onto an elevator, she was more startled than she probably should have been by the seemingly disembodied voice.

"Welcome back, team. Shall I inform the others of your arrival?" The voice asked, clean and crisp and it had the most posh accent Trubel had ever heard.

"Thanks, JARVIS, that'll be great." Natasha replied, and the elevator began moving. For how tall the building was, it didn't take very long to go up over a hundred floors, but it also didn't even feel like the elevator was moving, so when the door opens nearly a minute after they've entered, Trubel is at a loss.

Stepping out of the elevator behind the three who brought her here, Trubel takes a look around. Most of the furniture is a nice tan colour, and the lighting is soft, giving the room a calming sort of ambiance, but there are about seven other people in the room, excluding Trubel, Natasha, Clint, and Kate. The first person to come over to them Trubel recognizes as Tony Stark, the owner of Avengers Tower.

He looks tired, that's the first thing Trubel notices. He doesn't seem much like the man who most people know from the press conferences or the newscasts. The usually sharply dressed billionaire is currently wearing a pair of faded and worn jeans, along with an AC/DC t-shirt. He pushes past Clint and Natasha, as they are still standing nearby, while Kate has gone to find herself a seat on the couch next to a broad-shouldered blonde with long hair. Tony reaches out to shake Trubel's hand.

"You must be Theresa Rubel. Nice to meet you, yes, this must be the highlight of your life, good for you. Now, if you'll be kind enough to follow me, but who am I kidding, you'll probably do that anyway," Tony says, and begins walking further into the room, towards an armchair near the elevator where a man with curly brown hair, and wearing a purple dress shirt is sitting. When he meets Trubel's eyes, his face seems to morph, until Trubel feels as though she's going to fall over, because his face is huge and angry and green and he doesn't seem to notice, just smiles and offers a name, Bruce, and a hand to shake, and it's all Trubel can do to hide her reaction, so she shakes his hand and offers back her own name,

"Call me Trubel."

After Bruce, who actually seems nice aside from the fact that Trubel can't meet his eyes without staring the Hulk in the face, Trubel meets Rhodey, who's apparently Tony's buddy, and the darker skinned man seems nice enough as he shakes her hand, but like with most new people, Trubel is unsure. Rhodey also tries to make conversation by asking about her nickname, to which she replies it means what it sounds like. Trouble. Rhodey takes it like a joke, chuckling, and she can hear Clint on the other side of the room muttering to Natasha about how true the statement actually is.

After Rhodey, there's Steve and Sam. Steve, like the guy on the couch next to Kate, is broad shouldered and blonde and huge, but his hair is shorter than Trubel's and he's got a personality that seems to be half soldier-waiting-for-orders and half rainbows- sunshine-goodness, but he's also got a sort of sad glimmer in his eyes, like he's recently lost something important to him and he's not getting it back. Sam is also really kind, asking if she'd rather go by Theresa or Trubel even though she's technically specified already, and he seems to be one of those really perceptive people because after he shakes her hand and gives her words of welcome, Sam tells her that he's there if she ever needs to talk, which makes Trubel a bit uneasy, because she's only just met him.

By the time she's done talking to Steve and Sam, Trubel's ditched Tony and is walking up to people on her own right, because god forbid if she spent another second listening to Tony she'll knock him out a window.

There's a strawberry-blond in a pair of dress pants and a nice shirt standing barefoot in the corner, and she introduces herself as Pepper. Trubel spends a couple of minutes longer talking to Pepper than she did with everyone else she's met so far today, and somewhere between wishing her a warm welcome and telling Trubel how much she thinks she'll enjoy living in the Tower (it's never boring, Pepper says, with a look that's maybe a bit disapproving, but her tone implies she's not too upset), Pepper seems to morph into Juliette for a moment, reminding Trubel that she needs to call to Portland sometime later, when Nick and Juliette are both sure to be home.

After Pepper is Thor, who is the man Kate is sitting next to. When he shakes her hand, Trubel asks about his name, because she heard the Norse legends in one of her old foster placements growing up and Thor just chuckles when she mentions the legends. (She doesn't mention the foster placement, though.) At first, Trubel is confused, but then he reaches down and picks up a hammer, which confuses Trubel even more. Thor puts the hammer down onto a coffee table and gestures for Trubel to pick it up, only she can't, and jeeze, how heavy is this thing?!

Thor picks it up again, making a show of throwing it up a bit and catching it again. "I apologize, Woman of Disaster, but it seems you are not worthy enough to wield Mjolnir." Thor laughs, and realization dawns on Trubel. She shakes her head.

"No. No way." Thor quirks an eyebrow at her, and by now, a few of the Avengers are smiling, including Clint and Tony. "Really?" Trubel asks, and Thor nods.

"Really."

After Trubel has been introduced to everyone, Pepper takes her for a tour of the Tower. The start with the common floor, which is the floor they're currently on. It consists of a living room, a kitchen, and even has a home theatre. Next is Trubel's floor, which also has a kitchen (fully stocked, too), a living room, and a home theatre, but it also has an office, a master and at least three guest bedrooms (each with equally large en-suite bathrooms and walk-in closets), an office, a media room, and of course, 24/7 access to the Tower's AI system, JARVIS.

After showing Trubel her floor (Trubel isn't sure she'll be used to having an entire floor to herself, given that she's almost never even had her own room), Pepper leads Trubel downstairs to the Tower's gym, where Natasha and Clint are sparring, and Steve is pounding a punching bag. Trubel assures Pepper that she'll be fine from here, and once Pepper is sure Trubel is telling the truth she leaves the twenty-one year old be.

Trubel takes a few minutes to warm up and look around before she decides to try the obstacle course on the far wall. It involves a lot of running and dodging and even a bit of climbing, changing itself around at JARVIS's command, ever trying to trip her up. It takes her nearly a half hour, by which point Nat and Clint have finished sparring and are simply watching, Natasha silently observing while Clint cheers Trubel on. Trubel manages to actually finish the course, but she falls a few times, and she's fairly certain that she's going to have a huge bruise on her shoulder, just above her Klaustrike scars, by the end of the day.

When she's managed to catch her breath, Clint and Steve have both left, and looking at the clock, Trubel can see why; it's nearly 5:30, the others are all bound to be upstairs having supper. Trubel's about to grab her stuff to head up and take a shower when she notices Natasha smirking at her.

"What?" Trubel asks, because she's sure there's something Natasha wants to say to her.

"I was just thinking. If you wanted, I could train with you, give you a few tips." Natasha says, as if she believes Trubel will actually stay longer than a week. Really, if she'd admit it to herself, Trubel found the Tower (or what she'd seen of it so far) a bit extravagant, and she couldn't picture herself living there, even if she enjoyed it. Look how much she enjoyed being at Nick's, and she still left.

"Thanks, Natasha, but I think I'm okay. I'm probably only gonna be here a couple of days anyway." Out of the corner of her eye, Trubel can see Natasha biting back a smile.

"Whatever you say, Trubel."

When Trubel calls Nick and Juliette on her first night at the Tower, they both tell her she should consider staying at the Tower, at least for a little bit longer than the week.

There were several times over the seven days that Trubel spent at the Tower that she considered moving in permanently, but each time she decided against it.

At the moment, Trubel was begrudgingly packing her meagre belongings, with Kate still trying to convince Trubel to stay. Over the past week, the two young women had become friends, seeing as there were only a few years difference between the two.

"Trubel, come on. Please, just, stay a few more days." Kate pleaded. Trubel shook her head. She wanted to, really, but she still felt that she didn't deserve to stay here, not just because of not wanting to impose, but because she also didn't feel she deserved it, given her past. That didn't stop Kate from trying to keep her in the Tower.

When she was done packing her things, Trubel got into the elevator, with Kate close behind, still whining about Trubel leaving. Unfortunately for Trubel, Bruce also happened to be in the elevator.

"Trubel!" Kate whined, "Don't leave!" And this time Trubel was pretty sure she was doing it on purpose so that Bruce would hear.

"You're leaving so soon, Theresa?" Bruce asked. Aside from JARVIS, Thor, and Bruce, everyone called her Trubel, no matter how many times she told them to. It had actually taken most of the week to get Steve to call her by her preferred name.

"Unfortunately." Trubel replied. She really didn't feel like elaborating, because she knew that if Bruce tried to convince her to stay, she'd probably be too afraid to object. She could still see the Hulk in Bruce, and knew it would take more than a week to grow used to it. Thankfully, everyone had yet to notice that she seemed weary of him.

"I'm sorry to hear that. Do you mind if I ask why?" Bruce asked. Trubel shook her head.

"Personal reasons. I'd rather not talk about it."

"I understand. Are you leaving now, or-?" Bruce seemed a bit hesitant to ask.

"Uh, no. I'm just gonna bring this stuff down to my car and then come back up to make sure I don't forget anything. I should be outta here in about an hour." As soon as she said it, Trubel wanted to take the words back; she really didn't like the look that Bruce and Kate shared.

"Oh, Trubel, I think you left your phone in the living room." Kate said. Trubel didn't know whether or not she believed Kate, but she had spent most of her morning alternating between chasing Kate off and looking for her cell (because it was from Nick, goddamnit, and he specifically told her not to loose it).

Trubel sighed. "Thanks, Kate. I'll go get it in a bit." By now, Bruce had already gotten off the elevator when it had stopped on the floor his lab was located on, and when the doors opened again in the garage, Trubel got off, leaving Kate behind inside to go put her stuff in the station wagon.

An hour later found Trubel finally able to go to the Avengers' communal living room to retrieve her phone. It had turned out that she hadn't been able to put her stuff back into the station wagon right away, because she hadn't cleaned the station wagon in the time since Nick had given it to her. So, of course, it had taken her nearly a half hour to move her stuff around enough to at least be able to fit her stuff, than another half hour to go back through the floor she'd been living in for the last week, just to be sure she'd had all her stuff, before she could finally go up to search for her still-missing phone. It wasn't like Trubel dared to leave without the damn thing.

The first thing Trubel noticed when she entered the communal living room is that, as Kate mentioned, there was her cell phone, sitting on the coffee table. The second thing she noticed is that the living room was full of Avengers. Well, full for that time of day.

Normally around noontime, the only Avengers upstairs were Clint, Nat, Kate, and sometimes Sam. Steve was on a hunt for an old friend of his, as Trubel had learned, so she'd only spoken to him a couple of times over the week. Tony and Bruce usually stayed in the lab until one of them got too hungry to concentrate, or someone went to forcibly remove them from the lab. Pepper was always at work, being CEO of Stark Industries and such. Rhodey just usually was overseas, but he was staying at the Tower for a few weeks for some military-government thing. Thor would drop in from time to time from Asgard.

Currently in the living room were Nat, Clint, Kate, Bruce, Sam, and Steve, which wasn't much of a stretch, but Trubel still found it kinda off, especially when Tony came out of the kitchen with a cup of coffee. It took a minute for Trubel to realize what was going on.

"Oh, no. Just, - Kate!" Trubel said, bringing her hand up to her forehead.

"C'mon, Trubel, give me more credit than that." Kate told her. "If I couldn't change your mind about leaving, the least I could do is see that you were sent off properly." Trubel was torn between forgetting her phone and just making a mad dash for it, or to just say she'll stay and sneak off in the middle of the night.

"Kate, you didn't have to do that. I mean, there's only three or four other people who would ever have done something like this, but if you're trying to guilt me into staying, it's not gonna work." Trubel said.

"Why wouldn't it?" Clint asked.

"I'm just; I can never stay in the same place for too long." Trubel said.

"Do you mean that in the 'ADHD-I've-Got-Too-Much-Energy-That-I- Need-To-Get-Rid-Of running around like a chicken without it's head on' way or the 'Foster-Kid-Imposing-Issues' way?" Tony asked. Trubel is fairly certain that he meant it as a joke, but frowns all the same. Clint seems to pick up on it, as does Natasha.

"Don't do that." Nat says, startling Trubel, because she was all the way across the room two seconds ago how does she move so fast?

"I don't know what you're talking about." Trubel says. She tries to keep a neutral expression but from Nat's frown she's pretty sure she's failing.

"Yeah, you do," Clint tells Trubel in the most serious voice he's used all week, "and trust me; I know what it's like. I really do, but theses guys here, they're all just as messed up as you are. Really, everyone's messed up in their own way, but if you just let go and let yourself enjoy it, we can become the family you never wanted." Just like that, all the seriousness is gone, and Clint's wearing a goofy grin.

I tried that once, Trubel wants to say, And I still had to leave. She doesn't realize she's said it aloud until she's staring the Hulk in the face again.

"Were you told to leave or did you tell yourself that?" Bruce asks gently, and yep, it's starting to work.

"Doesn't matter. I have to go." Trubel says. Kate deflates a little bit at that. Steve steps forward, offers his hand. "I'm sorry to hear that, but I hope you have a safe journey, Trubel." After Steve, Sam steps forward, does the same thing, then Bruce, and Clint, Nat, Kate. Tony is the last one, shakes her hand and says,

"It's too bad you've gotta go. Thought we might finally have found someone Natasha couldn't intimidate."

Trubel frowns. "What do you mean?" She asks, because really, she's seen Nat training and sparing in the two or three times she went into the Tower gym, but she'd never seen Tony in there.

"The obstacle course, on your first day. When you disappeared after supper Nat and Clint told everyone about it. Tony had JARVIS pull up the footage from the security camera nearby." Kate amends.

"You guys saw that?" Trubel asks, because she really doesn't care that Nat and Clint told the others, she just cares that they pulled up security footage just to watch her barely complete an obstacle course.

"Damn right we did." Tony says. "Impressed us. Made me wanna look into your past, too, but the others wouldn't let me. Nobody is that good unless they've got a bad past, though." Somehow, unsurprisingly, he's looped around from being kinda nice to bone- deep annoying all over again.

"Not the best situation, I'll admit to that." Trubel tells Tony. "Most people always thought I was crazy."

"Just because you've got a bad past doesn't mean you can't have a good future." Natasha says, and she sounds so sincere Trubel almost wants to believe it.

"Not in my books." Trubel says.

"Maybe you just need some new books then. We're just saying, you might be better off here." Kate tells her.

Trubel is forcing herself not to smile now, but the others seem to be able to tell. "I hate you all." She announces, but by now she can't stop smiling. She steps forward, grabbing her cell phone and putting it in her jacket pocket, before heading back to the elevator.

"Where are you going?" Sam calls, and Trubel looks back at him.

"I'm going to get my stuff back from my car." She answers.

"Need any help?"

"Naw, I think I got it." Trubel says. Besides, she thinks, I don't wanna spook anyone with the stuff Nick gave me.

When the elevator door dings open in the parking garage, there's a spring in Trubel's step that wasn't there this morning, and when she calls Nick in Portland later that night, it's one of the easiest conversations Trubel's ever had.