AN: so... I haven't written anything for around a month and I have no idea how this happened. The side effects of over caffeinating and being wide awake at 3 am. Yeah, I don't know...

Kate shook her head as she walked into the morgue, where Lanie, Esposito and Ryan were all standing around the sheet-covered body. "You didn't think to call me when the body dropped?"

Ryan looked away from Kate, crossing his arms. "It just kind of… happened."

"What? Are you crying? What's going on?" she asked, looking between her three friends.

"Maybe you should sit down," Esposito offered, taking a step towards her then stopping and stepping backwards.

Kate shook her head at the men's strange behavior. "Lanie, what's wrong with these two?"

"Sweetie, maybe you should sit," Lanie told her, walking over to her and taking her hands.

Kate squeezed her best friend's hands, feeling them shake inside of hers. She drew in a deep breath, realizing she was there to ID the body. "Just tell me," she whispered, preparing herself for the worst under the sheet.

Lanie nodded. "Martha and Alexis are out of town, unreachable. You're… you're the next closest thing he has to family."

"Oh my God," Kate stepped away from Lanie, pulling her hands free. "No. No! That's not him. It can't be!" She backed into the wall, pushing her hands against her mouth to keep herself from screaming.

Ryan looked at Esposito, who sighed softly. "Beckett, you need to…"

"I know," she said, her hands still clasped over her mouth. "I know." She nodded, drawing in a shaking breath before she pushed herself off the wall, walking unsteadily toward the table until Lanie put her arm around her to guide her there. She looked at Lanie and nodded, holding the table for support as the M.E. pulled the sheet down.

"Rick," she whispered, looking at him laying still on the slab, looking like he was asleep. "No. No." She ran her fingers through his hair. "How…" she began, unable to say the words.

"Looks like a poisoning," Lanie said. "No bullet or stab wounds, no evidence of a strangling. I haven't started the autopsy yet. Wanted to give you a chance to say goodbye while he was still… whole."

"His neighbors called in to file a noise complaint. Heard two men fighting," Esposito told her. "People in the apartment below reported a loud thud. When the responding officers came, they found him unresponsive on the floor of his office."

"No suspects?"

"CSU's there, dusting for prints, checking the security cams."

Lanie looked at the boys then at Kate. "We'll give you a minute," she said softly, giving Kate's arm a quick squeeze before leading Espo and Ryan out of the room.

Kate watched as the door swung closed behind them, looking at them through the window as the stood together in the hall, before turning back to look at Castle. "I'll find whoever did this to you," she said softly, touching his cheek. "I love you. I love you so much… I'm sorry I… I'm sorry I never said it."

She fell against him, her head on his chest, her hand gripping the shirt he wore. "I'm sorry I wasn't there. I'm so sorry. I love you, Castle. I'm sorry."

"I love you too."

She lifted her head slightly when she heard his voice. It was barely audible, she quickly dismissed it as her imagination. She looked at his expressionless face again, touching his cheek once more before pressing her lips to his. She felt him kiss her back, her lips went tight, wishing so badly that it was real.

When she pulled back, his hand gripped her arm. She froze, looking at his hand. This was definitely not her imagination. Her whole body shook as he opened his eyes and slowly sat up. "Ca… Castle?"

"It took you until you thought I was dead to tell me you love me," he said, sounding a bit amused. "It's nice to hear out loud."

"I thought you were… you're… you're alive." She pinched the inside of her hand to see if she was awake. Yep, definitely awake.

"I told you I'd get you back for that trick you played on me on my birthday last year."

"You… it was a joke?" She was shaking again, only now shaking with anger. "You jerk!" She grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, pulling him off the table and shoving him into the wall, knocking over Lanie's equipment as he hit the wall hard, his shoulder breaking the drywall.

He fell onto the floor, his shirt torn and arm bleeding. "Ow," he muttered, his hand going to the gash in his bicep.

"Oh, I'm sorry," she spat. "Did I hurt you?"

He looked up at her as she towered over him, her hand inches from her gun. "Look, I'm sorry. I know, I went too far."

"Yeah, what was your first clue?"

"You breaking my arm was a pretty good indicator."

She let out a breath, softening a bit. "Is it really broken?"

"I don't know. It hurts."

"I'm sorry," she mumbled. "You deserve it though. Why would you do that to me?"

"Because I had to know if you could live without me."

"Of course I can't! I love you, you idiot."

He smiled at her. "Good. Cause I have to ask you something." He reached into his jeans pocket, pulling out a small black box and opening it to show her a diamond ring inside. "Will you marry me?"

She shook her head as tears fell from her eyes, walking over to him and sitting next to him. "You asshole," she mumbled before kissing him.

He blinked at her when she pulled away. "What does that mean?"

"It means that I'm marrying an asshole." She kissed him again as the doors to the morgue opened and Lanie, Espo and Ryan walked back in.

"Congratulations, honey," Lanie said, smiling at her best friend.

"You were all in on this?" Kate asked as Castle single handedly slid the ring onto her finger. "Even you Lanie?"

"Javi can be very persuasive."

Esposito smiled proudly. "Castle told us we could borrow the Ferrari for a month each if we helped," he said motioning between him and Ryan.