Authors Note: I do not own these characters. I only wish I did. I mean who wouldn't love to have their very own NCIS team? This has tags to 'Dean Man Walking' Also as far as I am concered Jeanne isn't important and Tony really never loved her. Nope. So please be kind in the reviews as this is one my my first NCIS fics. Enjoy!
It was a side of Ziva that Tony had never seen before the side she said was weak. He knew that no matter how many times he tried to convince her otherwise she wouldn't hear his point of view. It wasn't weakness. She had fallen for Lt. Sanders and it was anything but weakness. In the hours after his death Ziva had put up a façade, trying to act like it wasn't bothering her. It didn't fool DiNozzo though he could see the pain in her eyes. Tony knew that Ziva was hurting and he knew that she thought it would be weak to show it.
He wasn't going to allow her to grieve alone, she was his partner and it was his job to have her back, no matter how much she tried to push him away. He was going to push right back and got give up. Even if it meant her kicking his ass, which he had no doubt she could do.
Taking a few seconds to collect his thoughts, Tony adjusted the box of pizza in his hand before pressing the doorbell to Ziva's apartment. After a few moments he could see her coming down the stairs and couldn't help but to crack a small smile.
"Tony," Ziva swung the door open and was obviously surprised to see her co-worker standing in front of her, with a box of pizza. She had to admit though it did small good. "What are you doing here?"
She looked like shit, and it didn't take a Special Agent to figure out she had been crying. It's not weakness. She thinks she is weak, but she's not. She's human. "Uh, I came to see how you were doing, thought maybe you were hungry?" He held up the box of pizza a bit.
She stood to the side. Though she really wasn't up for visitors at the moment she didn't have the heart to turn Tony away. Not with that puppy dog look in his eyes, and maybe perhaps that deep down she didn't want to be alone right now. But that was way deep down, and she wasn't ever going to admit that to anyone. Ziva David had shown enough weakness for a while. "Come in."
Tony followed her up the steps to her apartment. He had been here many times before. Once a week, every Friday he would come over, she would cook for him, and we would bring one of his favorite movies. Tony had a lot of favorite movies, which meant he often came by a lot. "How are you holding up?" he asked crossing the threshold into her familiar apartment. Though he already knew the answer.
"I am fine Tony. I have seen many people die before, why should this time be any different than the others. In fact I have often killed many people, so I am fine Tony." She replied. "But thank you for asking." Right away she felt bad for snapping at him like that. "I am going to get us some plates and a few beers, make yourself comfortable."
Tony placed the pizza box down on the coffee table and opened, allowing the steam to escape. "You need any help?" He yelled out.
"I think I can handle two beers and some plates Tony." Ziva replied walking back into her living room. She handed him a beer and a plate. "But thank you for asking."
Tony took a few slices of pizza and put it on the plate. He handed that plate to Ziva, and then took her empty plate. "I was worried about you." He confessed. "I don't think I have seen you like that. He really got to you didn't he?"
Ziva stared at Tony for a few moments before she finally spoke. "Everyday I would run that route and everyday I would notice the man in the bright orange hat." She sat down on her couch and stared at her plate. "Now everyday when I go for my run, I will not see him anymore." There was a long pause. "I finally meet someone I have something in common with and that I could see myself with and he dies." She looked at Tony. "You wouldn't know what that is like."
"What is the suppose to mean?" Tony asked swallowing a bit of his pizza.
"It is always a different girl with you. Michelle, Rachael, Andrea, Jennifer, whoever she is." Ziva took a sip of her beer.
"But I still don't have the one I want. They're distraction to keep my mind off the one."
"What about that one who you keep seeing. The reason you have that other phone?" Ziva asked just as Tony's phone rang. "See there she is calling you. She calls you a lot Tony."
Tony ignored his ringing phone and stared at Ziva. He was lost in her dark brown eyes, and the way her hair fell against face.
"Your phone Tony it is ringing." Ziva spoke a little bit louder.
Her voice broke Tony from his trance. "What? Oh, it's not important."
She pointed toward his phone. "But it is her. She is always calling you, and then you vanish off, and come back a short while later with this silly grin."
"She isn't the one Ziva." Tony replied grabbing another slice of pizza and shoving it into his mouth.
"Then why do you still talk to her, why is it you disappear, for hours at a time? You are going to see her are you not?"
Tony sighed. "It's complicated. It's not what you think. She isn't the one, I am just-"
Ziva cut him off. "You are using her for a call of booty."
"Booty call, and no. Ziva it's hard to explain, it's a long story." One he was not going to go into with her. Jeanne was not something he was going to talk about. Jeanne was an assignment from the director and that was all. The one he wanted, the one he could see himself spending the rest of his life with was not Jeanne. It was Ziva David. Yet Tony was smart enough to know that those feelings were only exclusive to him. She would never see him the way he saw her.
"Well I am not going anywhere, so starting explaining Tony." She leaned back into her couch. "Go on I am waiting."
Tony took another bite of his pizza clearly he was stalling. "Why are you so interested in my love life?"
"Oh so you love her? Yet none knows her name." Ziva said with a hint of anger. Ziva wouldn't admit to Tony, but she was jealous of his relationship with the mystery woman on the phone.
"I never said I love her. I don't love her. I love someone else, but that someone else will never love me back, so in the mean time I need a distraction."
"Maybe you should tell the woman who you really love that you love her."
Tony let out a small laugh. "Can't do that."
"Why not? You scared? You shouldn't be scared of your feelings Tony."
He said nothing.
"Then what is it? Why will you not tell her?"
"The real reason? She doesn't feel the same way back."
Ziva raised an eyebrow. "How do you know if you have never said anything to her?"
"Oh I know. This woman, she's nothing like the other ones. She's much more amazing. As awesome as I am, I think she is far too amazing for me. So rather than hear her say no, I say nothing."
"Oh, so if she were to say yes, you might change your mind about telling her?"
"Tell me how we went from talking about you and Lt. Sanders, to me and the girl I am currently seeing? Hmm?"
Easy, Ziva thought she made it happen. The less they were talking about her the less she had to dwell on it.
"It's not weakness, what happened between you and Lt. Sanders, wasn't weakness. You're human Ziva, it happens and you shouldn't allow itto make you feel weak. There is nothing weak about a woman who can kick my ass half way into the next month. You're not weak, you're only human."
Ziva chewed on her bottom lip, tracing her finger around the rim of her now empty beer bottle. "That is not how my father would see it."
"Your father isn't here Ziva. Besides, you're an adult he can't honestly expect you to follow his every order like some kind of harden foot solider."
"That's exactly what he expects me to do Tony." She looked up at Tony trying to do everything she could to keep from falling apart in front of him. "In Mossad we are trained not to show emotion, not to be weak."
"Hate to break the news to you Ziva, you're in NCIS now, and here it's ok to show emotion, showing emotion doesn't make you weak." He moved closer to Ziva, sitting next to her on the couch. He lifted her chin with his fingers so she was looking at him. "It's ok to feel the way you felt about him. There is nothing wrong with having those feelings. It's ok to show your feelings." He said using her own words against her.
Ziva could feel it as inch-by-inch Tony peeled away her tough skin, getting closer and closer to that vulnerable part that so few had ever seen. She looked right into his eyes and shook her head in argument. "It interferes with the job Tony. I should have known better than to get attached to him."
He cupped Ziva's face in his hand, focusing intently on her. "It happens, don't blame yourself and don't beat yourself up like this Ziva. It's not fair to you." He reached up and dried a tear off of her cheek with his thumb. "He felt the same way back, I could see it when he looked at you, how he looked at you. It was raw human nature at it's best. Kind of like star crossed lovers."
"It's real life Tony, not a movie. You can't have star crossed lovers." Ziva's reply was blunt. "There is no such thing."
"Did you tell him how you felt about him?" Tony asked, still holding her face in his hand and still looking into her eyes. His heart was racing and his palms were sweaty. Ziva drove him nuts, but in a good way.
Ziva laughed in reply. "You are joking right, Tony?"
"No I am serious did he know?"
"Tony, Roy was a stranger why would have I told him how I felt? That's so stupid. There is no such thing as love at first sight." Ziva was lying about that, but she couldn't let Tony know how she had felt about Roy, or how she felt and had felt about Tony for that matter. Tony would never let it down. All of this could have been avoid if he wasn't with that stupid girl; that stupid, stupid nameless girl. "In fact Tony love is a joke period. Even if you think you have found the right one, it doesn't mean you are meant to be together. You said so yourself." She pointed out.
"I never said that. When did I say that?" Tony pondered. "I said that the woman I am currently seeing is not the right one, I didn't say there wasn't a right one at all. You're putting words in my mouth Zi." He was getting frustrated. "I have been waiting for a long time for the right one, hoping she would notice me, only to realize I have no chance." He followed her into the kitchen watching Ziva grab another beer.
Opening it she took a sip. "Only because you will not tell her. You know what I think? I think you should tell her. You need to call the one," she used air quotes around the one, "and tell her what you think."
"You really don't want me to do that." Tony replied softly.
She started t cluck like a chicken. "Is the big bad Tony DiNozzo afraid of some girl?"
"I am afraid of rejection." He confessed.
"Well you won't know what she is going to say until you call her. I dare you to call her."
He sighed. "Ziva, just trust me when I say you don't want me to do that, please."
"Chicken." She clucked like a chicken some more, and started to strut around her kitchen like a chicken.
Tony cracked a smile. Ziva made a really cute chicken.
"Do it for me. Please?" She begged him.
It's so hard to say no to you. Tony thought to himself. Closing his eyes, and placing his empty beer bottle on the kitchen counter top Tony pulled out his cell phone. "Fine I will call her, but when she laughs at me, tells me no, and breaks my heart it will be your fault."
"I will take 100% responsibility Special Agent DiNozzo."
Tony slowly started to dial the number, pressing send he brought the phone up to his ear.
Ziva stood and watched the event unfold, when her phone went off. "Let me tell this person to call me back, because I do not want to miss this." Without checking the caller ID she flipped open her phone and was shocked to hear. "It's you. You're the one. You are the woman I love Ziva David." She stared listening and watching as Tony's mouth moved saying the words she was hearing on her phone.
Sighing sadly Tony closed his phone. "I love you Ziva. I am head over heels in love with you!" He blurted out. "Now that you know you can go ahead and say no so that I can go home and pretend this never happened."
Ziva was frozen. She couldn't move and she couldn't talk.
"Great it's so bad that you won't even reply. I know I can be a real jackass sometimes, but I didn't think I was that bad. I'm gunna go, I'll see you at work." He turned around and started to walk out of the kitchen when he felt Ziva grabbed his arm. He was stunned to feel her lips on his. It didn't last long before she broke the kiss and stared deeply into his eyes. Then suddenly her lips were on his once again. This time the kiss was hard and deep, and she didn't have any plans on breaking it. He pulled her in closer, his hand on the back of her head. He returned the kiss with just as much, if not more passion than Ziva's kiss.
After a few very long moments Ziva broke free and slugged him in his arm.
"OUCH!" Tony yelled out loud rubbing his arm. "What the hell was that for? That hurt!"
"What took you so long?" Ziva demanded. "Why did it take you so long to tell me that Tony?"
Tony stared blankly at Ziva. "I uh…uhm I…no idea. I have absolutely no idea. I just I thought-"
Ziva cut him off. "Shut up and kiss me again Tony; or I will kick your ass."
He wasn't going to argue with her. "Yes Ma'am!" Smiling he pulled Ziva in and kissed her.
Ziva stopped and started to laugh.
A look of fear crossed his face. "What? Is my kissing that bad? What did I do wrong?"
"I am not laughing because of the kiss, Tony. I am laughing because you thought you had no chance." Grinning she started to lean in for another kiss. "You don't have to worry about not having a chance." She placed a finger over his lips and spoke softly. "Or do you have to worry about her rejecting you and saying no. She's saying yes." She replaced her finger with his lips. "I love you too Tony."