Shinpachi, while perusing his choice magazine of absolutely appropriate content, happened across something rather disturbing. His immediate instinct was, of course, to transfer the responsibility to somebody else by telling Gintoki about it.
"Okita-san put up an ad for Kagura-chan as a high-class prostitute."
Gintoki lowered his morning newspaper, "Shinpachi, is that a porno?"
"Did you not just hear what I said? Are you completely oblivious to the approaching catastrophe? Your love interest is in a position where her virtue is being threatened!"
Gintoki coughed with great enthusiasm, "L-l-l-love interest? And who might that be? Is that a porno? Ah, Shinpachi, you embarrass your generation by patronizing such filth-"
Enraged, Shinpachi tore away Gintoki's morning newspaper to reveal another copy of the exact same magazine Shinpachi held, "Gin-san!"
"I, er, a bird dropped it on my head."
"Gin-san."
"I really don't think you should pass judgement on old men like me, Shinpachi. We're lonely and utterly without jailbait-love interests. In fact, the only interactions we have with the youths of today are strictly platonic relationships built on mutual respect and, er, fatherly affection."
"Fine," Shinpachi seethed, "Then, somewildhoodlum has illegally put up an ad for your daughter-figure in a porn magazine and is, very likely, buying her from himself as some twisted method of courtship."
Gintoki processed this, "Where did you get that magazine, anyways? You're not old enough to be buying such things."
Shinpachi threw his hands into he air, swore vehemently, and went to dig out his wooden practice sword.