Title: Watching

Author: shakeahand55

Summary: Once he left she'd been promoted to Captain, and she wasn't sure she liked it, having a whole ship without him on it didn't seem as fun.

Disclaimer: I sadly don't own them, I'm just playing with them. Oh and thanks to supesfan88 for kindly looking this over (being a beta reader in a way), without her I don't know where I'd be with some of the stories I post on here.

She stood in the back of the room in the dark shadows hoping not to be seen by anyone else in the room full of cadets, instructors and higher ups.

But she was sure everyone's eyes were glued to the sight on the assembly room floor, the promotion of a Cadet and the giving of the Enterprise by it's former Captain to the new one, said Cadet. She smiled when she saw him being wheeled in, and by god didn't he look just right in his new Admiral uniform, even if he was in a wheel chair which she was sure he'd be out of in a few days.

She pulled down her top as it was starting to rise up. Starfleet never did like it when she refused to wear the dress uniform that women wore and instead wore the pants and top usually only for men.

She hadn't been in this room for years but she still felt like a lowly cadet hiding like she was, she looked around at the people in the seats to remind herself they were the cadets and not her.

Different species were scattered all about in the room, she could see an Orion girl, a Vulcan and she was sure that there was a Andorian. Maybe a Tellaright was there in the crowd too. But she couldn't be sure as they were too far away.

She smiled as she watched Admiral Pike shake the hand of a young man, the newly promoted Captain James T. Kirk, if she heard right.

She looked around the room once more and shook her head, it was lighter and it seemed to be bigger. She knew the windows were letting in more light from the bay outside. She wasn't sure if that was the affect of the abundance of light drifting in from the large windows or from the abundance of confidence and safety that just emanated from every sole within it.

Yes, the view and feeling was amazing, but none of it really mattered to her. The only thing that mattered to her was the man in the wheel chair. She would never let him know though. No, watching him was her secret and she'd been doing it for years since serving under him on the Yorktown.

Her heart had broken when she found out he'd left to take command of the newest ship, the one Starfleet was calling their flagship, the USS Enterprise. Once he left she'd been promoted to Captain, and she wasn't sure she liked it. Having a whole ship without him on it didn't seem as fun.

She moved closer to the wall as people had started to get up and that kid, Kirk, was still talking to Admiral Pike. She sighed, she had never been able to just talk with him. No everything they talked about was about the ship, the crew and her getting her own ship. She had told him she didn't want it, that she was fine being his first officer, but he called her crazy and that was that.

Then it was back to ship duty. She had tried to go with him when he left the Yorktown but to no avail, he wouldn't let her and then Starfleet made her a Captain out of the blue.

At least it seemed out of the blue to her but everyone else seemed to think she deserved it, and she was sure Pike had a hand in it somehow. She sighed again and turned towards the door without looking back. Lusting was not something a woman in her position did. Even if in her heart she believed it was more than that.

She wasn't even supposed to have been in that room, but she just had to go in there to catch another look at the man that she couldn't have, the man that cared more for the ship and the crew then for loving her.

She wasn't his Number One anymore, but, then again she never really was.

Only in rank was she his, his real number one was and always would be his ship and she knew it.