Pockets full of stones

by Reikah

Christmas fic for Eijentu. Kurogane is on a hunt for new potential dragonriders to partner a fresh series of hatchlings, but what's wrong with the ones he finds? Why are they kept hidden, and what happened to them in the past? Fai/Yuui, Pern fusion.

This is a crossover with Anne McCaffrey's Dragonriders of Pernseries, although you should not necessarily require familiarity with that setting as it should be explained within the story itself.

Rating: PG-13.
Pairing: Fai/Yuui(+Kurogane).
Notes: For the ever-lovely Eijentu. Merry Christmas!
Warnings: this fic contains m/m twins being paired together romantically. If that is not your thing, please hit the back button now!

Pockets full of stones

And oh, poor Atlas
The world's a beast of a burden
You've been holding up a long time
And all this longing
And the ships are left to rust
That's what the water gave us
- Florence & The Machine: 'What the Water Gave Me'

---

The warm late summer air hit Kurogane in the face like a wave as soon as they emerged from Between, and he shivered instinctively as his body adjusted from the piercing cold of the void to mid-afternoon sun shining down above Telgar Hold. No matter how many years he did this he never thought he'd get over the eeriness of that place.

The Hold itself was as he remembered it; he'd appeared on its western side, the sparse fortifications shining and vegetation free. For all his faults, Telgar's Lord Holder wasn't stupid enough to risk his home and people to the voraciousness of a single Thread. Its windows were tightly barred and its courtyards swept clean; he could see the great stone shelters under which the livestock was kept, and beneath him Ginryuu rumbled his approval. Kurogane snorted.

Not yet, he said. Holders were finicky enough about dragonriders, having dragons help themselves to their animals definitely wouldn't help there.

Hungry, though, Ginryuu replied plaintively, and Kurogane sighed and directed the bronze dragon down to the courtyard, near the watch-wher's den. The beast itself was in hiding, lurking in the depths of its kennel with only the clank of its leash to notify them of its presence. Ginryuu ignored it with dignity, holding out his leg as Kurogane unfastened his riding straps and slid neatly from his back to the ground. The Lord Holder himself was already emerging from the large double doors of the keep, dressed in riding leathers and carrying a whip in one hand.

"Dragonrider," he said, giving the appropriately respectful bow; exactly three inches, no more and no less. Kurogane returned it, his lip curling in a sneer despite himself. Ginryuu pushed at his shoulder with his nose and made a small noise.

"Lord Charis," Kurogane said, coolly. "Some food for Ginryuu; we've come a long way today."

"Of course," Charis said, although from the look on his face it didn't sit easy with him being ordered around by a dragonrider, even if his beast was a bronze and Kurogane himself bore the markings of a Wingleader. Ginryuu's tail lashed curiously as Charis beckoned at one of stewards, a tall, pale fellow with shining blond hair who etched the Lord a quick bow before hurrying across the courtyard toward the stone barns. "May I inquire as to the reasons for your visit? I was not running a message flag."

Kurogane narrowed his eyes. Was the man playing with him? Did he truly not know of the clutch of dragon eggs hardening on the sands of Telgar Weyr's hatching ground? "I'm on Search," he said, shortly, stripping off his gloves, and watched the man's eyes widen slightly. "You heard about the death of the Weyrwoman?"

"Yes. A terrible tragedy," Charis replied, looking as though he didn't care one way or another. Well, it was no secret Telgar Hold hadn't had the best relationship with either Clow or Yuuko.

Meat! Ginryuu enthused, and Kurogane glanced around to see the steward returning beside two gangly teenage boys, dragging a rangy herdbeast on a rope. The animal was reluctant, and was being encouraged toward its demise by means of hard cracks of a whip across its flanks by the teenagers. Ginryuu's eyes were shining green with pleasure, some of that echoing across the bond and it made the corner of Kurogane's mouth quirk up. He wiped it off his face before turning his attention back to Charis, though.

"We've already visited four Holds today," he said. "There's a queen egg in this clutch. You should have been informed of this Search already."

"I have only two daughters," said Charis, quickly. "Both much too young to be bound to a queen dragon, Lord Kurogane."

Kurogane gave him a wolf-smile. "Not all Queen riders are the daughters of Lord Holders," he said, and the man narrowed his eyes. Behind them the drovers managed to force the herdbeast toward Ginryuu, and yelped in fright when he lashed out with one foreleg, breaking the animal's spine in one solid blow. Kurogane didn't look around, although he heard the scuffle of boots on stone as the steward and the teenagers fled.

"You should come in," Charis said, in a tone of voice that indicated he wished anything but, and Kurogane grunted acknowledgement as the Lord turned and began to head inside.

Telgar was one of the oldest Holds on Pern, and its innards were somewhat cramped and claustrophobic. The long corridor was walled with tapestries and woven rugs to break up the chill of the cold stone, and baskets of glowworms hung at regular intervals on the smooth walls to provide light in the absence of windows; Charis picked one up from near the door and gloomily beckoned Kurogane after him. Kurogane did so, brushing his mind against Ginryuu's.

Good?

Stringy, Ginryuu said cheerfully, But I like it. Food!

Kurogane fought to keep his face blank. Ginryuu's interests were seldom hidden. Do you sense anyone here suitable? he asked as they began to ascend a long staircase, and when he felt his dragon's confusion, carefully rephrased the question. Do you sense anyone here who could partner a dragonet?

Yes, Ginryuu said. He didn't elaborate, and Kurogane nodded to himself. He'd keep an eye out.

Shiny doors at the top of the stairs led to Telgar's great hall, filled with long wooden trestle tables atop a fresh straw covering. A couple of drudges were wiping down one of the tables, and Charis snapped his fingers at them imperviously. "Fetch my wife and the children," he said.

"M'lord," the drudge replied, bowing deeply. Kurogane took the opportunity to assess her; you could learn a lot about a Hold from the condition of its drudges. This one's clothes were plain and cheap, but clean, as was she. Her hair was kept back from her face with a loose undyed scarf. "All the children, m'lord?"

"As many as I can tolerate," Charis said, and she bowed again and hurried off. "Refreshment, Dragonrider?"

Kurogane hesitated, and then accepted a cup of Klah. It had been a long day. Charis dispatched the other drudge to the kitchens to bring him the drink, and then took a seat at the trestle table closest to the hearth, his fingers tapping out a nervous rhythm against the wood. Kurogane used the opportunity to wander the hall, inspecting the tapestries hanging on the walls.

Charis had quite a brood; Kurogane remembered hearing of his second marriage a few years ago, maybe five before he'd Impressed Ginryuu. He'd married one of the Fort Hold Lord's younger daughters, if he remembered correctly, after his first wife perished. He'd obviously gotten busy in that time, for the wife herself - dressed in tailored silks and emblazoned with flashing jewelry - ushered what seemed like a small army into the hall with her. Some of the children had been scrubbed up, others not so much.

Kurogane greeted the Lady of the Hold with as much politeness as he could force himself to, thinking of what Tomoyo would say about his manners if she were there, and she returned it with stiff formality. The children were obviously intimidated by him, shrinking away when he approached, and awkwardly he kept his distance from them as he paced across the rushes, examining the kids.

The girls were blatantly unsuitable; they were six and eight turns old, respectively. Kurogane had never heard of a Queen hatchling Impressing on a candidate younger than fourteen, and most preferred their riders to be sixteen or eighteen. Tomoyo's gold was an exception, rather than the rule; Tomoyo had been fourteen and a half and weyrborn, and nobody expected her to succeed in that hatchling right up until the dragonet was butting at her hand and the girl had looked up at the stands, her whole face alight with joy, and breathed, "She says her name is Tsukuyomi!"

The oldest boy was about nine. The lesser colours tended to Impress younger, so Kurogane examined their faces, searching for that spark, that hint of extraordinary that indicated they had what it took to form a bond with a fresh-hatched dragon. Ginryuu was silent and unhelpful in his mind, but then again, he would be. The bronze lug was deadly fighting thread, but not much use here.

Most of the children wouldn't meet his eyes, but he didn't feel anything from any of them. They all took after their mother - stocky, brown-haired and eyed, a tendency toward plumpness - rather than their tall blond father; he couldn't picture any of them atop a dragon, not even one of the lazy blues. Perhaps when they were older...

The door clicked open and the pale steward from the courtyard stepped in and to one side, bowing deeply. "My Lord," he said, his eyes downcast.

"Did I call for you?" Charis asked, sharply. The steward glanced at him - a flash of blue eyes, surprisingly blue - and Ginryuu mentally stirred; Kurogane angled his head, looking back from the Lord Holder to the steward. Did he see...? He thought he did.

"Amica said you requested my presence."

Charis snorted. "Of course she did," he said, bitterly. "Dragonrider, my son by my first wife."

"Yuui," the steward said, quietly, when it became apparent Charis wasn't going to offer any more information than that. Kurogane's boots whispered across the straw as he stalked across the hall; Yuui was older than the Lord's sons by his second wife, and though he carried his father's colouring his face was tempered by foreign blood that rendered him much leaner and more delicate of feature than his half-siblings. He was about seventeen; on the old side, for a male rider, but...

This one, Ginryuu said. Yuui twitched, almost imperceptibly; Kurogane wondered if he sensed their mental link as they communicated. That was a good sign, if he was that sensitive. "Hmph," he said. "How old are you, kid?"

"Eighteen turns, sir. And a half."

Younger than he looked. He glanced back from Yuui to Charis, who was studying his son with narrowed eyes and a displeased turn to his mouth. Yuui's clothes were decently made, if not of the quality of his half-brothers'; he stood straight and tall, his hands folded before him and his chin raised. Raised in privilege, perhaps, but what on earth was he doing working as a mere steward...?

Kuro, this one, Ginryuu said, insistently. Kurogane rolled his eyes, casting his gaze away from Yuui's face as he mentally snapped at his dragon for mangling his name; Ginryuu didn't feel an iota of remorse.

"This one," he said out loud, turning back to Charis, whose mouth tightened. Yuui breathed in sharply behind him.

"Dragonrider?" he said. "I don't understand, what do you mean 'this one'?"

"I'm on Search, kid," Kurogane said, and watched Yuui's (blue, so very blue) eyes widen as his meaning sank in. "We're going to try to pair-bond you with a dragonet. I think you have what it takes."

He watched the surprise and alarm warring on Yuui's face for a heartbeat, and then turned back to Telgar's Lord Holder, who was glaring at the young man. Charis traced his fingertips across the wood of the tabletop and cut his gaze to meet Kurogane's eyes. "I see," he said, neutrally. "Are - are you quite sure, Lord Kurogane?"

Kurogane frowned, his eyebrows drawing together. "Yes," he said shortly, looking away from the Lord Holder to Yuui again. Yuui still looked poleaxed, like this was all a big surprise to him. "He's acceptable."

The Lord Holder folded his hands together, watching Kurogane thoughtfully over his clasped fists. "Yuui is... my son," he said carefully, "But he is... different."

"Different?" Kurogane asked, raising an eyebrow. Yuui lowered his eyes, his blond hair slipping out of his queue to fall raggedly about his face. He didn't look different, but Holders lived different lives to those born in the great Weyrs like Kurogane had been. Kid was handsome, though; no matter what colour dragon he Impressed Kurogane was quite sure he'd prove popular in the Weyr.

"He's not like us," said the Lord Holder. "He has no respect for our ways." He flicked a disdainful glare at Yuui, whose face was flushed with mortification and something else. "Or the ways of nature."

Ah, Kurogane thought, disgusted. Of course it came down to that.

To what? Ginryuu asked curiously, and Kurogane mentally growled at his dragon and tried to shove him away; Ginryuu was too intrigued to budge.

Humans who don't live in Weyrs don't like humans who... who partner green dragons.

Ginryuu's surprise washed over him. Why? Green dragons are pretty.

Yes, Kurogane replied grimly, his eyes roving over Yuui's face; his soft, silky hair, his defensive posture, the shame in the angle of his head. No wonder, growing up as he had. And their riders are all men who take other men as their weyrmates.

Holder fear and hatred toward those who preferred the company of their own gender was marked, and Yuui wouldn't be the first man who had been treated this way because of his tastes in their society. Privately Kurogane was glad they'd come; even if he didn't manage to Impress, being at the Weyr would do the kid good. "I'll keep that in mind," he said to Charis, keeping his tone level, and turned to Yuui. He put his back to Charis, stepping between father and son deliberately; Yuui looked up in surprise. "You need to go pack? Or you want servants to do that for you?"

"I - we're leaving today?" Yuui said, his mouth falling open, and Kurogane grunted.

"Hatching won't wait for you to feel up to it," he said, and Yuui paled. Kurogane quirked an eyebrow and subtly rolled his eyes toward Charis, trying to indicate you want to stay here with him?

Still, Yuui quavered. His voice wobbled as he said, "I don't... I have... I - there are, that is, there's someone - I. I have to, to, to -"

"Look," Kurogane said shortly, "I'm hungry and you're babbling. You can make your excuses while I go to the kitchen to grab something." He shoved the doors open and paused. "And you can show me the way to the kitchen while you're at it," he conceded, and watched something like a smile flash briefly across Yuui's white, surprised face before the young lordling-who-wasn't followed him. The door closed behind them, blocking away Charis, and Yuui breathed out slowly, visibly calming down. His shoulders straightened unconsciously as he relaxed, and before he could second-guess himself Kurogane reached out and grabbed his shoulder. "You okay?"

"No," Yuui said.

Kurogane sighed. "I get that you've probably heard all kinds of rumors about us dragonriders," he said, "But we're really not that bad."

He paused. Yuui was carefully not looking at him.

"Look, we don't care who you bed with," he said, and Yuui flushed pink down to the tips of his ears. Gotcha, Kurogane thought. Well, Yuui would hardly be the first Hold-born boy to leave scorn at home in return for the safety and understanding of a dragon Weyr.

Yuui swallowed; his Adamﾒs apple bobbed as he did so. He really was astonishingly pale, when he wasn't blushing. The sweep of his collarbones were visible beneath the fabric of his tunic, and he had his hands knotted together.

I like him, Ginryuu said helpfully, and Yuui jerked again.

Ignoring his dragon, Kurogane carefully let Yuui go and tilted his head. "You feel that, don't you?" he said. "That tingle just then, like a buzzing in your ears?"

"I - yes," Yuui said slowly. "Yes, I do... how did you know that?"

"That was Ginryuu talking to me," Kurogane said, with the hint of pride that was always in his voice when he thought of his bronze, try as he might to keep it away. "You hearing it just shows he was right about you being suitable."

"Your dragon said I was suitable?" Yuui forgot to avoid eye-contact in his surprise and looked right at Kurogane; his eyes were even bluer out here in the corridor with the glowworm light. Bloody hell, Kurogane thought ruefully.

"Yeah. Didn't think I made the decision by myself, did you?"

Yuui cast a wild glance in the direction of the courtyard, although it was blocked from his sight by the stone Hold walls. His hair glimmered in the light, paler than Tsukuyomi's golden scales. "... He can talk?"

The fuck? Kurogane thought. What the hell had Telgar Weyr's resident Harper been teaching Charis' sons? Yuui had obviously memorized the required list of Weyr Riders and their dragon's names, to remember Ginryuu's name as Kurogane's dragon, but to not know that dragons could speak was a peculiar oversight. He narrowed his eyes, and Yuui must have caught some of the gesture out of the corner of his eye because he turned pink and went back to staring fixedly at the tips of his boots.

Kurogane sighed and raised a hand, rubbing his face wearily. "Look, show me the way to the kitchen," he said. "I'll tell you more there."

Without a word Yuui reached up and took one of the dimmer baskets of glowworms from the wall; the light they shed was pale and weak but would be sufficient. Back to avoiding Kurogane's eyes again, he gestured for Kurogane to follow him, and quietly set off down the narrow stone corridor.

He's sad, Ginryuu thought.

Yeah. Kurogane took a few steps after the kid and paused. You okay?

I ate, Ginryuu replied contentedly. And I have sun.

Lazy, Kurogane snorted under his breath, his boot heels clicking on the stone floor as he followed the quiet little lordling down the corridor. Send a message to Tsukuyomi back at the Weyr. Tell her to tell Tomoyo that we found a candidate, but he needs reassuring. We won't be back yet.

A pause. Done, Ginryuu said, and then curiously, Tsukuyomi says to tell you Tomoyo asked if he was cute? What's cute?

Kurogane's abrupt growl of anger earned him a startled glance from several passing drudges, but Yuui merely flinched and didn't turn around, and if Kurogane felt a sudden wash of concern that tamped down his irritation, it was just because he needed to convince Yuui to agree to come with him yet.

He was holder-born. It was far too early to be thinking about anything else.

---

The kitchen shutters were open when Yuui pushed the door open, and the rays of sunshine pouring through the windows made bright shapes on the bare stone floor. The ovens were on, and a drudge was watching over the kitchen dogs on the spit; the air was rich with the fatty scent of roasting meat. Yuui deposited the glowworm basket on the small servant's table near the door and held it open for Kurogane, who was so tall he had to duck minutely to pass underneath it.

Curiously he cast a glance around for the person he sought, to no avail. It was shearing season in the barn, no doubt he was out there, working. Charis would hear of it if Yuui went to him and interrupted him from his chores, but Yuui felt his throat close and his heartbeat pick up at the thought of just leaving without seeing him again.

"M'lord," said a clear voice, and he looked over to see the Hold cook, her face pinched in disapproval as she headed over to him. She didn't bow or greet him with deference she should as the Lord's son; his status had fallen that low within the Hold. Even the servants knew of his disgrace. "What're you doing here?" she asked. "It ain't supper time yet."

Yuui cleared his throat and tried to put some authority in his voice, although he didn't think he succeeded. "This is Wingleader Kurogane of Telgar Weyr," he said, stepping aside to let her more clearly see Kurogane. Not that the man was hidden by him or anything, what with being so ridiculously tall. "Do we have any cold cuts we can serve him as refreshment?"

Her eyes tracked up and down Kurogane thoughtfully, as her mouth moved ceaselessly like she was trying to remove a stuck piece of food from between her teeth. She'd had that habit as long as he'd known her. "Might be we got some wherry in the cold storage," she said, and snapped her fingers imperviously. A drudge came hurrying up to her side, seemingly from nowhere; she rattled off a string of commands and the servant vanished as quickly as he'd arrived.

"Sit down, please," Yuui said, turning toward Kurogane and focusing his gaze on the man's chest. That was one of the most important lessons he'd learned about humility; to avoid eye contact where possible.

Another drudge fetched Kurogane a cup of Klah as soon as he sat down, although she didn't bring anything for Yuui. Not wanting to stand around awkwardly, Yuui slid into the seat opposite the man reluctantly; Kurogane's long fingers wrapped easily around the tall clay cup and his red eyes narrowed appreciatively as he held the mug under his face, inhaling the bitter steam wafting from the beverage.

"So," Kurogane said, turning the drink around in his (huge) hands; "How come you don't know about dragons and talking? Who's your Harper?"

Yuui stared down at the worn wood of the table, scratched and battered from generations of use. He could feel a headache forming. "Master Sorata," he said quietly, and then, in a rush, "But don't blame him, Lord Kurogane, he's - it's not his fault I don't know! He didn't have time, I..."

He swallowed. No. Mustn't blurt everything out to this man.

"I stopped taking Master Sorata's lessons early," he said, instead. He was proud of how neutral and calm his tone was. "The Lord Holder and I felt it would be better to assume a role that rewarded some practical experience instead."

There. Nothing suspicious about that, certainly not for an older son. Even if he didn't inherit, he'd be a Holder on his father's lands anyway in time. Land and Hold management were key to someone of his birth.

"You're really bad at this lying thing," Kurogane said, conversationally.

Yuui froze, his heart fluttering against his ribs, and carefully slid back in his seat, drawing away from Kurogane. He tucked a strand of his hair behind his ear and risked a glance at the dragonrider's face; Kurogane was watching him with a hooded expression. His red eyes were cool. Nervously Yuui looked away. "I'm not sure what you're implying," he said.

Kurogane snorted wearily. "Right," he said. "Whatever. Tch. So you never learned about life in a Weyr?"

Yuui shook his head. A drudge appeared quietly at Kurogane's side, drawing his attention; she had one of the good silver platters, bearing a hunk of warm bread, several slices of thick wherry, and a pitcher of steaming gravy. It was hard to tell with Kurogane's permanent scowl, but the dragonrider looked almost surprised by the meal offered; he leaned back from the table to let the drudge put it in front of him and accepted her offer of a clean cloth, pulling his belt knife from his hip and wiping the blade off with quick, sure strokes of his large hands.

"Hungry?" he said, setting the knife down and pouring the pitcher of gravy over the meat; the scent was appetizing, Yuui hadn't had breakfast - but then again, he had forgone breakfast because the sheep-shearers wouldn't be having any today, and to eat when he couldn't felt... strange. He shook his head and glanced out of the window. At this time of day the Red Star hung in the horizon like an unyielding eye, and Yuui shuddered discretely. Strange, to think of something so small and so far away as the harbinger of the dreaded Thread.

It took him a second to realize the drudge who had fetched Kurogane's meal hadn't gone away and was instead hovering by his side with an uncertain expression on her face; he angled his head at her curiously and she bit her lip before blurting, "M'lord, we're expectin' the shepherds up at twenty minutes to dinner bell. For their suppers, like."

"I see," Yuui said, his ears ringing faintly, and glanced away. He knew why she had told him. He wasn't supposed to be here when that happened.

Kurogane had stopped chewing, his eyes darting from the drudge to Yuui thoughtfully; when she bobbed a curtsey and headed back to the vegetable sideboard Kurogane dipped the bread casually into the gravy and said, "You know, we can send someone back here with a message when you're at the Weyr. If there's anyone here you're not supposed to be speaking to."

Yuui stared at him, too shocked to remember to avoid eye contact. Kurogane didn't avert his gaze even as he raised a hand and tore a chunk out of the sopping bread, and his eyes were cool and sharp.

"You're not the first I've seen," he continued, in a bored tone of voice. He could have been discussing the weather, or informing Yuui of scheduled Threadfall. "Holder life isn't for everyone. What do you know about the Weyrs?"

"In general, or one in particular?" Yuui inquired, still stunned by the dragonrider's tacit approval of whatever he thought it was Yuui did.

Kurogane shrugged. "Let's say general, but focusing on Telgar Weyr, since it's the one you'll be joining."

Joining? "Dragonriders exist to fight Thread," he said. "The Weyrs house them and their dragons. Um." He tugged at a lock of his hair, abruptly nervous explaining this to a genuine wingleader. "They come in five colours. Dragons, that is, not riders."

"Go on," Kurogane said, spearing a slice of the wherry meat with his knife and tearing into it aggressively.

"Um... Weyrs are ruled by the Weyrwoman, who rides the senior queen dragon, and the Weyrleader, who rides whichever bronze dragon caught the senior queen in her most recent mating flight." He paused, and then said, softly, "Telgar Weyr recently lost both its Weyrwoman and its Weyrleader."

A shadow passed across Kurogane's face. "Yes," he said, somberly. It was a tragedy when any dragonrider died, for everyone knew dragons suicided on the deaths of their bound riders. To lose both Clow - to Thread, of all things - and Yuuko had been a terrible tragedy, one even Yuui had become aware of.

"Who's running the Weyr now?" Yuui asked shyly, and Kurogane made a face.

"Us," he said. "The council of wingleaders. We can't do anything until one of the junior queens rises to mate, making its rider the Weyrwoman. We have two of them at Telgar, so it's a matter of waiting to see which one happens first, and whichever dragon catches her." He paused. "Probably we should have given the title to Kendappa, she's the oldest of the two, but the council..." and here he pulled a bitter face - "they think she's too volatile to be Weyrwoman. They're holding out and hoping Tsukuyomi rises before Amaterasu does."

Yuui didn't say anything, not knowing who either of these people were. Kurogane sighed heavily and took another bite of wherry, the meat juices running out of the corner of his mouth. Yuui absently ran his fingers over the battered kitchen table, spelling out his name in his fluid scribe's writing. "I'd heard that dragonriders..." He hesitated, trying to work out what he wanted to say. He could feel heat rising in his cheeks. "I'd heard that in a Weyr, it's... common. For men. To, to be. Together."

Kurogane snorted, his red eyes flashing, and Yuui shrank away from him instinctively; but there was no disgust on the man's face, nor censure. "There are five colours of dragons," he said, casually. "Queens only take woman riders. The other four colours don't care. You do the math on the male to female ratio of riders."

Yuui gaped at him.

"On top of that," Kurogane said, something like a smirk turning up the corners of his mouth, "Riders whose dragons rise to mate tend to... lose control of themselves. Queens only rise once a turn, if that; but greens...?"

Now Yuui could feel his flush intensifying. There was a saying he'd heard, once he'd been banished from the privilege of the upper-hold life as the Lord Holder's heir; 'desperate as a green in heat'. Kurogane huffed out a warm breath and used the last of his bread to mop up the juices from the meat and gravy, and Yuui stared at him, trying to imagine what it was like to come from a world in which it was considered common or even inevitable for men to lie with each other.

No wonder the conservative Lord Holders tended to disapprove of dragonriders.

"I..." His fingertip was moving again, agitated invisible writing. "I don't... what happens to those who don't Impress a hatchling?"

Kurogane shrugged. "You can come home, if you want," he said. "Or stay in the Weyr. Plenty of people living there who aren't riders."

Yuui was about to say more when that strange buzzing sounded in his ears, and Kurogane's eyes slid to the side, his head cocked at a slight angle and his eyebrows drawing together. He'd said the buzzing meant he was listening to his dragon. Yuui watched him, using the moment of distraction to properly take in Kurogane's appearance; his messy, unkempt dark hair, his skin, tanned almost as bronze as his dragon from being dragonback, even the sleek muscles of his shoulders and arms. If this were anyone else, he'd be in trouble by now.

"That was Tomoyo," Kurogane said abruptly, and Yuui jumped guiltily as the man's gaze slid back to him. Kurogane squinted at him suspiciously, but picked up the cloth and wiped off his belt knife before sliding it back into its sheath. "She says the eggs are closer to hatching than we thought - maybe tomorrow or the day after. You want to go grab your stuff and make your goodbyes?"

Yuui glanced away, breaking eye contact. "I... I only have one person I want to say goodbye to," he said, and hesitated. "And I don't have anything here worth keeping."

Charis had burned it all, after he'd caught them together. All their carefully copied musical notes, all his hand-carved instruments, everything. That which he couldn't burn - like the clay dragon statues - he'd smashed.

The strange buzzing noise sounded again, and this time Yuui thought he could sense a voice amidst; it was like hearing someone on the other side of a wall, speaking just low enough that their words were incomprehensible. Kurogane scowled intently at the wall, and the buzzing continued.

"Ginryuu thinks I should go with you," he said, sourly. "He's concerned."

Yuui blinked at him. "Oh," he said, not sure how else to respond. "Um, tell him I said 'thank you'...?"

He led Kurogane through the backdoor that led down to the stone livestock shelters. During Threadfall it was foolish to keep animals out in the fields; the dragonriders caught most of the Thread that fell, burning it away to nothing from the backs of their mighty beasts, but a single missed Thread could devour a whole herd of sheep, bones and all, in seconds. Many Holders kept their animals here under the Lord Holder's care for safety's sake.

The shepherds were already beginning to troop uphill toward the kitchens for their meals when the two of them left; Yuui kept his rule of avoiding eye contact but there was no mistaking the expression of disgust and contempt on their faces. He knew Kurogane saw, and his skin crawled with how much he didn't want the dragonrider commenting on it.

Yuui rarely ventured into the animal pens unless he had to, and not because of a dislike of the sheep; he had not been the one to bear most of Charis' blame for what he'd caught his sons doing. That had fallen on Fai, who was smart and quick and already fairly obvious about his disinterest in women.

When Charis caught his sons tangled together that lazy spring morning, he'd blamed Fai for 'ruining' Yuui; while Yuui had been set to stewardship, Fai had been forced to the level lower than that of a drudge. All the ugly hard tasks fell to him, and Charis had made it quite clear that they were never to be alone together. Yuui hadn't seen his twin for months, and he was afraid, even with Kurogane at his side; afraid of what the shepherds might say, afraid of what they might tell Charis, afraid of what might happen to Fai once he was gone.

But he couldn't even consider leaving until he told his twin. They used to dream of being dragonriders as children, obsessed as most children were with the perceived glory of owning a magnificent fire breathing monster, soaring through the skies. They'd bickered for a while over what their dragon would be called - and it would be one dragon, for they shared everything - until finally they compromised and agreed it would be named Mokona like their childhood doll.

Charis had burned that doll too, Yuui remembered faintly.

The inside of the barn was smoky and dimly lit, thick with the scent of sheep and wool and grease. There were several pens of shorn sheep near the doors, bisected by a roped-off walkway running through the centre of the barn. Swallowing his reluctance, Yuui headed up to the first shepherd he saw and asked for the whereabouts of his twin, Kurogane a lurking, unobtrusive presence at his back, but the shepherd's eyes still went to Kurogane before he pointed along the walkway to the far end of the barn.

He found the empty pen where the fleeces were stacked up on several pallets, several dirty, tired-looking men examining them carefully to check the quality. Fai was leaning against the wall with his eyes closed, his long hair pulled into a matted tail and his skin shiny with the grease from the sheepskins. His clothes were filthy and of poorer make than Yuui's, although that didn't worry him as much as the huge purple bruise ringing Fai's eye. His twin jerked when Yuui touched a hand to his elbow, staring at him in surprise.

"Yuui?" he said, his mouth falling open briefly before he remembered himself. "Yuui, what... what are you doing, you shouldn't be here -"

"I know, I know, Fai. I know. What happened?" Yuui said, in a rush. His belly knotting with sick horror, he raised one hand, brushing his fingertips against the large bruise. Fai's eye only opened halfway.

"It's nothing," Fai said, too quickly. "It's nothing at all. You should've seen the other guy. Yuui, you should leave..."

The strange buzzing rang in Yuui's ear, a whispery voice he didn't know that was somehow too quiet to be heard and louder than everything else. He let his hand fall from Fai's face, abruptly ashamed of himself. It was Fai who would be getting in trouble for this, and Yuui had caused his twin too much suffering already. "I'm sorry," he said.

"Who's the newcomer?" Fai asked, in a lower voice, and Yuui turned to follow his twin's gaze; Kurogane was standing by the heap of fleeces, his arms folded over his chest and his eyes contemplative. Yuui felt a smile bubbling to his face unbidden and hastily turned away from the dragonrider to keep it from him.

"That's Kurogane, one of the wingleaders of Telgar Weyr," he said, and saw the way Fai's eye widened. "Yes. He's on Search, Fai."

Fai gave this a second of thought before smiling wistfully. "Too bad," he said. "Charis' girls are too young to Impress a hatchling."

Yuui's throat worked. "Yes," he agreed softly. "They are. But..."

"But?"

Very quietly, Yuui said, "But I'm not," and watched the way Fai's whole expression froze before shutting down. It took barely a second, before he was standing there wearing a blank, neutral face that was so screamingly unnatural it made Yuui uncomfortable.

"I see," he said, and Yuui thought his heart would break; he wanted so badly to take Fai into his arms. The strange buzzing noise came again, and this time he thought he heard a word: Kuro -

"I won't go if you don't want me to," Yuui said, fiercely, and Fai glanced at him and then scowled.

"No," he said, forcefully. Yuui stared. "No. Yuui, you were Searched! You have to go! You shouldn't be here."

"Neither should you," Yuui said, his eyes tracking the bruise. It wasn't an isolated incident, he suspected; the angle Fai was standing indicated some other sore spots, hidden from view by the heavy cloth he wore... and why was he wearing a tunic that fastened to the throat in summer? Yuui felt bile rise in the back of his throat as the implications sparked queries in the back of his mind.

... Kuro... do'n... poss... says bri - ... sad.

Fai looked away. "It's okay," he said, in a gentle tone of voice. "It's okay, Yuui. I'll be fine. Hard work never killed anybody before."

But it's not just the work, Yuui thought, upset. He wanted to touch Fai, to soothe him and reassure him physically; but that was what had gotten them into this mess.

He's... cept... him, pick... Kuro!

"Oi," Kurogane said, abruptly, and stepped closer. Fai's eyes flickered to the dragonrider and he smiled his horrible brittle smile; Kurogane glared at him. "Stop that. What's your name?"

"Fai. And you, Mister Dragonrider?"

Kurogane huffed out a breath and didn't answer; instead his hand darted out and caught Fai's chin so quickly Yuui barely caught the movement. Fai flinched away so fast his head hit the wall with a hollow thonk, and he stared at Kurogane through startled blue eyes; Yuui was torn between doing the same or staring at Fai, who looked... who looked frightened. That couldn't be right. Fai was...

"I... ahaha, please warn me next time you do that!" Fai said, trying a smooth, glossy smile on for size. "Wingleader Black can't just grab people, it's rude!"

"Fai..." Yuui said quietly.

For a long moment they stood there, not moving, the three of them in a stock still tableau; then Kurogane sighed heavily and let his hand drop. "You'll do," he said to Fai, who blinked at him, his smile replaced with a mystified expression. "Ginryuu says you're as good as the other one."

"What?" Fai was looking at the dragonrider with confusion on his face, but Yuui felt like a weight had been removed from his shoulders as he realized what Kurogane was saying. "I don't understand, Lord Surly -"

Kurogane twitched. "It's Kurogane, damnit!"

"We're both being Searched, Fai," Yuui whispered, and watched with glee as his twin's face changed.

"It's cold in Between," Kurogane said gruffly, turning away from the two of them to the heap of fleeces and the few shepherds who had stopped in their work to watch the displays. Yuui felt himself flush at their regard, old conditioned fear. "You got any winter clothes?"

They both nodded agreement slowly, and Kurogane snorted. "Go fetch them," he said. "And meet me in the courtyard by Ginryuu. I got to tell the Lord Holder about this."

Yuui swallowed. Please, he thought, his mind spinning; please don't let Charis talk to him about us, please. He glanced sideward at Fai; his twin's face was still alight with incredulity at the change in his fortunes, but caution was creeping in around the edges. Please.

It'll be fine, whispered the buzzing voice in the back of his mind, strange and foreign, and Yuui bit his lower lip in surprise.

Ginryuu? he thought, but there was no response.

Kurogane left before them, leaving them standing too close together in front of the other shepherds. Fai ducked his head, lowering his eyes, and murmured something about going to fetch his coat, and Yuui let him even though part of him desperately wanted to weave their fingers together and hold on. He stood, watching Fai's back as his twin headed out the barn, his chest tight and his palms itching.

The remaining shepherds were glaring at him distrustfully, and it was this more than anything that got him moving. His pace picked up as he made his way along the walkway through the barn, and by the time he reached the fresh air he was running, and then it was a flat sprint up the hill to the kitchens; as if the speed with which he fetched his coat could affect the time Kurogane would have to talk to Charis. As if by running he could somehow make sure his secret stayed just that, because while Weyrs might not care about men... twins was a whole other kettle of fish.

Please, he thought, his wherhide boats scraping over the stone floors of the Hold, Please.

Please.

---

Fai's belongings were kept in a sack in one corner of the sleeping cell he shared with four drudges. One of them was a compulsive pickpocket, and it was a good thing Fai had had nothing of value to his name when he'd been exiled to the service level - and that had been because Charis couldn't find anybody willing to foster him further away.

He pawed through the sack, tossing aside rough, scratchy clothing, and pulled out the sackcloth coat he wore when he had to be outside; with the ground crew during Threadfall, or in the high fields checking plants or animals otherwise. Everything he owned smelled faintly like sheep nowadays, to his displeasure.

He'd spent most of today helping the shepherds with the shearing, and he was quite sure that 'greasy, dirty sheep-shearer' wasn't quite the image he wanted to cultivate with the Weyr, so he only hesitated for a half-second before pulling fresh clothing out of his sack and hurrying to the indoor well to draw up a bucket of icy water for a quick bath.

The water was so cold it shocked a muffled gasp out of him as he stripped off his old clothing and began to bathe, but it was numbing on the bruises mottling his torso and arms, so that helped. He debated washing his hair, and then decided against it; going Between with wet hair seemed a recipe for disaster.

He really wouldn't miss this place.

Yuui was already in the courtyard when Fai finally snuck out - through the kitchens, even though it meant travelling around the Hold itself; he'd rather face a longer walk than risk running into Charis or his second brood in the sprawling corridors of Telgar Hold itself. It was warm out, and Ginryuu was hard to miss, sprawled lazily across the grassy stones of the courtyard; Yuui was standing next to him staring up at the dragon, his back to Fai. Carefully glancing around to check for observers, Fai snuck closer to the bulky stone wall of the keep to watch him.

Yuui wore a pale cream tunic, his hair neatly braided into a steward's queue; his coat - a ridiculously fluffy contraption of fleece and wool ﾖ was thrown casually over one arm. He looked good, well-fed and healthy, and Fai took a moment to admire the picture he made against the gleaming bronze scales of the dragon.

Maybe there had been a time when Fai didn't love Yuui more than he should. He didn't know. It must have been so very long ago, all those countless years ago when they were too small to remember much of anything; but for all the time he could recall he had looked at Yuui and wanted to be with him no matter what. And for a while it had been inevitable, their closeness; sharing beds went from an innocent, childish need to be close to slow curious movement to soft, startled cries to knowing, heated rocking together, mouths open and bodies twined.

They were two and one at the same time, and Fai was happy with it. Yuui was too, of course; they shared everything, including feelings. He knew they did because he could sense it; he always knew when Yuui was upset or scared or angry. It was a bond between them, the same skill that let him always find Yuui no matter where he was. It didn't function both ways, or at least Fai hoped it didn't; he had tried his best to shut it down regardless so that he didn't inadvertently poison Yuui with his own emotions during that horrible period after Charis had discovered just what they were to each other.

For a while he was content just to watch. If Charis denied Kurogane his Search - difficult but not impossible, they were both under the age of majority and he had the final say over them - then this sight of his twin would sustain him for a long time. He'd be sent off-Hold for sure, probably out to one of Telgar's border holds; or to another Lord Holder entirely. Probably Lord Nesbitt of Crom. He and Charis got along well.

Eventually however he knew he had to move, and the sound of his sandals flapping against the stone of the courtyard made Yuui turn toward him sharply. The way his twin's face softened at the sight of him eased Fai's heart some, and it was a hard thing not to throw his arms around Yuui and cling. Not even the presence of a real live dragon up close could subtract from that.

"Fai," Yuui said, his voice gentle and warm, and Fai smiled at him crookedly.

"Yuui," he said. "So this is Ginryuu, hmm?"

The dragon rumbled at him approvingly, snaking its head down on its long neck to examine him. Its eyes were whirling pools of blue, although Fai had no idea what that meant. Fai sketched it a bow his stepmother would have been proud of if she didn't think he was disgusting. "Nice to meet you, Mister Dragon," he said.

"Are you really going to go Between in sandals?" Yuui asked, and Fai shrugged. He didn't have anything else. Yuui made a small, angry noise, and bent down; Fai leaned around his twin and blinked in surprise when Yuui straightened up holding his festive Gathering boots by their laces. They were so new the leather was still shiny. "Here."

"Yuui -"

"They were made for me, so they'll fit you. Put them on."

They fit him just as well as Yuui had said, and by the time he had them on and tied up, Ginryuu was bugling a bassy, happy greeting to Kurogane, who had shoved the Hold's main door open and was stepping out into the late afternoon sun.

"Good enough," he said, giving them a once-over. Fai edged quietly away from him, slipping as subtly as he could behind Yuui, but from the way Kurogane's eyes narrowed he thought he hadn't been as sneaky as he'd've liked. Either that or the wingleader was just sharper than average. "Either of you flown dragonback before?"

They shook their heads in unison and he snorted under his breath and swatted Ginryuu's immense flank. Immediately the dragon held out his leg; Kurogane scrambled up him pretty easily, going from the ground to the saddle by way of knee and wing joint instinctively. Instead of fastening himself in, he lashed his riding straps together and tossed them down; Ginryuu watched them from behind his own foreleg curiously.

Ginryuu was a bronze dragon, the second largest there was, and his saddlepad was big enough Kurogane could probably have carried six passengers at least. He showed them how to operate the straps to fasten themselves on and tested the bonds himself before he sat down. Fai ended up sitting behind Yuui, and took the opportunity to press his face into the back of his twin's shoulder, inhaling the scent of his hair for a heartbeat before pulling away. Mustn't be seen, after all.

"What's going to happen to us when we reach the Weyr?" Yuui wanted to know, and Kurogane hesitated in the process of buckling himself in.

"You'll be dealing with the head woman," he said. "She'll see to it you get whatever you need. You ready?"

Fai cast a last glance over Telgar Hold, nestled into the ridges and crooks of the landscape. It seemed so small from dragonback, and they were still on the ground. He could feel Yuui's excitement, this close, mixed with a healthy spike of fear. It summed up his feelings, he thought. "Ready when you are, Wingleader Black," he sang, because the best way to fight fear was to pretend you didn't feel it, and Kurogane growled at him sharply.

He could feel Ginryuu's muscles bunching underneath him as the great bronze hunkered down, and convulsively his fingers tightened in the braided cords of the riding harness. I'm not scared of this, he thought. I'm not.

Kurogane slapped Ginryuu's shoulder lightly with one gloved hand, and the dragon leapt into the air with enough force to slam both Fai and Yuui backward in their saddle; they lurched wildly as Ginryuu beat his huge wings for altitude. Kurogane was hunkered forward over his dragon's neck, looking unconcerned as the wind whipped his short hair into wild spikes. Fai glanced over his shoulder, seeing -

Telgar Hold from the air, people like child's dolls on its grounds, its mighty walls like those of a model -

And then they winked Between in one short moment, vanishing into the freezing darkness of the void that lay between all places.

---

It's me~! Ginryuu trumpeted as they materialized over the bowl of Telgar Weyr, announcing his presence loudly. Kurogane could feel the force of his calls in how Ginryuu's chest vibrated underneath his legs. It's me, I'm home.

Better land us, Kurogane said ruefully. Holderkin don't like Between.

They're not very afraid, Ginryuu replied, but he was already gliding down toward Kurogane's weyr entrance along the cliff wall. As a bronze rider and a wingleader Kurogane had his weyr on the lower tier, connected to the main complex by foot, unlike many other riders whose weyrs were higher up and could only be reached by dragonback. Good thing, too, it'd make it easier for him to take the twins down to the lower caverns.

As Ginryuu angled them down Kurogane turned to look over his shoulder and check on his passengers, and was pleasantly surprised to see none of the outright terror Holders usually wore on routine dragon rides. Yuui was leaning to one side, admiring the view; Fai was watching his brother with a strange expression on his face. He seemed almost to feel Kurogane's gaze on him because he glanced up and smiled oddly, and Kurogane snorted in contempt and looked back up front.

That black eye troubled him, as did the stiff way Fai carried himself. It wasn't his right to interfere with what a Lord Holder did with his own sons, but it felt wrong, and Kurogane really wanted to pass them over to the lower cavern's head woman to Suzuran could fuss over them and shout at him in that annoyingly bossy way she had that covered up how deeply she cared.

Ginryuu landed inside his weyr with a rather undignified amount of wing flapping, enough to send the water on his bathing pool scudding violently over its sides. This weyr had been Kurogane's father's once, and he'd had to fight off nearly every other bronze rider in the whole Weyr to get it.

I want a bath, Ginryuu said firmly.

Fine, fine, you can have one, Kurogane said tetchily. Just let me get these two inside.

He unbuckled his riding straps with ease and threw his leg over the saddle pad, glancing back at the twins; they were copying him, which he approved of. Initiative was a good thing in a dragon rider. Ginryuu crooked his head back and watched them interestedly as Kurogane helped them down to the ground; it was a long drop from the saddle to the ground.

"Where is this?" Yuui asked quietly, taking a few steps forward and looking around, observing all the details in the small antechamber. There wasn't much to it - just the bathing pool and the stone straw-covered couch where Ginryuu slept; Kurogane's sleeping quarters were in the next room over, not that he was planning to show the twins that. Fai seemed less interested in exploring, sticking close to Yuui and keeping one hand spread out over his ribs in a gesture that was trying too hard to be casual.

"My quarters," he said brusquely. "Doesn't matter. Come on, let's get you to the head woman."

"My my," Fai said, with a brittle laugh, "Kuro-black is so surly."

"Kuro-what?"

"Kuro-black! It's faster than saying Wingleader Black," Fai said, with an airy laugh. Yuui made a small, cautious noise, and Kurogane forced himself not to react instinctively, which would have involved a lot of yelling and probably some chasing too. Ginryuu made a chirping noise of agreement, which didn't help at all.

There was something very strange about Fai. Kurogane figured the twins had both been banished for their choice of partners, but the different punishments Charis had netted out to his sons puzzled him.

It'll wait, he reminded himself roughly. He had to get the twins to Suzuran so she could see to them, and then he needed to go see Tomoyo. And then he probably ought to contact the other Wingleaders and see if their own Searches had netted any other candidates for the imminent hatching.

He really hoped whichever queen dragon rose first, Tsukuyomi or Amaterasu, Ginryuu failed to catch either one. He really didn't want the shit that came with being Weyrleader.

Not that he'd be entering Ginryuu into Tsukuyomi's flight if he had the choice. He had no wish to deal with the backlash dragon mating flights dealt to their riders, not when Tomoyo was his younger half sister, and he didn't think anybody would begrudge him that.

"Follow me," he said, stripping off some of his protective riding leathers and tossing them negligently to the low couch by the wall, and he sensed the twins exchanging a curious look behind him before doing just that.

Suzuran was difficult to track down; without a Weyrwoman to split the domestic management of the Weyr she was massively overworked, and no two of her subordinates in the lower caverns gave Kurogane the same answer when he asked. Eventually he got lucky with Chunyun, her eldest daughter, who was bossing a pack of weyrborn boys around near the kitchens. "She's overseeing the numbweed vats," the girl said when he asked, "I saw her 'bout ten minutes ago."

"You better not be lying to me, brat," Kurogane said, and she pulled a face at him.

"Why would I bother lying to you?" she said, scornfully, and leaned around him to take a closer look at the twins. "Is that all you found on Search?"

Kurogane snorted. "Yeah, they're strong enough. Anyone else back yet?"

She flicked her hair thoughtfully. "Seishirou," she said. "He found some kid at Harper Hall, over there." She pointed across the bustling cave and Kurogane squinted, searching for a new, young face amidst all the people; he spotted the kid in question sitting on a bench wolfing down a bowl of porridge with a spoon. Twelve years old, if anything, with sandy brown hair and matching eyes. "His name's Syaoran," Chunyan said proudly, "What're your two's?"

"They're not mine," Kurogane corrected her, but without much heat. He wasn't going to argue with a twelve-year-old. "And I need to get them to your mother. Go do something useful."

She waited until he was most of the way down the cave with the twins before yelling after him, at the top of her lungs, "I'm always useful!"

The twins shadowed him quietly, and he glanced at them quickly as they made their way toward the huge cavern in which the numbweed was prepared. Fai was pale, although he flashed Kurogane a quick smile; Yuui was wide-eyed and walking close to his brother, so close their hands almost touched. He seemed unable to focus, his head darting around wildly as he took in the sides of the hectic underbelly of the Weyr.

Numbweed was an incredibly useful substance, what with its ability to desensitize pain in both dragon and human. Given Thread's propensity to burrow into anything organic it could find, even the slightest brush of it during Threadfall could use serious damage to both rider and dragon; and Weyrs always went through buckets of the stuff. Suzuran was down in the lower vaults supervising the mixing of the stuff into salves by a good hundred of the weyrfolk under her command, her hands on her hips and her face fixed into a thoughtful scowl.

"It looks too rusty," she was saying as Kurogane approached with the twins in tow, trying to hold his breath against the noxious stink of the numbweed brewing process. She looked up and raised her eyebrows at him by way of acknowledgement. "Kurogane," she said coolly, "What can I do for you?"

"I picked up two candidates on Search," he said. "They need new clothes and that one probably could use some numbweed." He jerked his head at Fai and her eyes followed the motion, only to widen comically when she saw the extent of the black eye.

"Wow, that looks painful. Get in a fight?"

Fai gave her a charming, sheepish smile. "Something like that, ahehe~!"

"Sit down," she said, and he did so while she took his chin in her hand and carefully angled his face to look at it. "Mmm, this wasn't a fight, was it, boy? Or not a fair one, at least."

Fai had gone very still.

"Where did you find these two?" she said, holding out her free hand; one of her subordinates hurried forward and pressed a pot of (non-rusty) numbweed into her palm.

"Telgar," Kurogane said. He folded his arms over his chest, feeling oddly wrathful. Like most head women, Suzuran was a tyrant to those who hurt kids. "They're the Lord Holder's sons."

Suzuran's movements slowed to a stop, and then she said, "And does old Charis know somebody held his boy down and smacked him in the face?"

"It was just a fight," Fai said anxiously.

"Mmm," she said. "And I'm a queen rider. Let's see those ribs, kiddo."

Fai resisted at first, but Yuui drifted over toward his twin and quietly took his hand in his, and reluctantly he gave in and undid the sackcloth coat and the rags underneath it. Suzuran's expression as the skin underneath was revealed in all its technicolour glory was thunderous. 'Someone' hadn't just held Fai down and smacked him in the face; 'someones' had thrown him down and kicked him while they were at it.

Yuui didn't look any happier about it than Fai; he held himself with an air of great sorrow, like Fai's injuries were his fault. Suzuran let him stay where he was, clutching Fai's hand tightly in his, even though he was in her way as she slathered numbweed generously over the injuries. Kurogane felt his palms itching and realized his hands had closed into fists despite himself.

"It tingles," Fai said, wrinkling his nose.

"That's how the numbing starts," Suzuran told him, screwing the cap back on the salve. She leaned back on her haunches to look at him again, and shook her head in quiet fury. "I don't believe that man, I really don't. Arashi!"

"Here," said her chief assistant, appearing so suddenly and quickly at Kurogane's elbow that he jumped despite himself. Suzuran had noticed, and normally that might have been grounds for a teasing; instead she ignored him.

"Go fetch some clean clothing for these two until we can have their own stuff made for them."

"Of course," Arashi said, and bowed before leaving as silently as she'd materialized. Kurogane watched her suspiciously, half-suspecting her of the ability to go Between without a dragon.

"We haven't impressed yet," Yuui said, anxiously.

"Yes," Fai added, with one of his worrying smiles. "We don't want to be in your way..."

Suzuran snorted. "You're fine," she said. "Less obnoxious than that big lug. And you're not going back to that Hold. I don't care whether or not you Impress."

Fai's smile didn't so much vanish as drop off his face; genuine surprise replaced it. "Oh," he said, quietly, uncertainly. "...Oh." Yuui looked just as startled, and the two exchanged a long look before Yuui reached out and petted his twin's hair. It was dirty, but Yuui didn't look like he minded.

Suzuran must have noticed - Fai did smell faintly of sheep - because she said carefully, "Oi, Kurogane."

He grunted. "What."

"When Arashi gets back with the clothes - ah, there she is, take these, boys - okay, now take them to the baths," she said firmly. "I'm sure they'd like to scrub up."

Kurogane sighed heavily. "Why the hell do I get to be stuck playing guide? I have things to do too."

"Like what?" Suzuran lifted her eyebrows. "Raid the Weyr's cache of Benden wine and then go and drunkenly yell at Subaru about how he needs to move on with his life?"

"That was one time -!"

"Twice," Suzuran corrected him firmly.

"In fairness, he does," Arashi offered unexpectedly from behind Kurogane's elbow, making him start again. How she could do that he would never know.

"Besides," Suzuran continued, carefully ignoring this interjection, "They're your candidates. You Searched them. Now go be nice."

"I don't want to be in the way," Fai said again quietly, and she rounded on him with her fists planted firmly on her hips.

"Listen," she said, "We'll talk later, you and I, about your father. But for now, go follow the grumpy wingleader -"

"I am not 'grumpy' -"

"- have a bath and something to eat, and I'll have someone fetch you dinner. Okay? You're not going to get pampered like this for much longer, so deal with it."

The twins glanced at each other again, and Kurogane knew somehow that they were communicating in their own way. It wasn't quite speech, like a dragon and rider; but nor was it simple body language. Eventually Fai broke their eye contact, looking down at his feet, and Yuui was the one who said, simply, "Thank you."

She smiled at him with a gentleness she only showed those she thought truly needed it, then at Fai, and said, "It's okay. Go on, now. Shoo!"

Kurogane led them back to his weyr, grousing most of the way. The twins seemed almost in shock; gone were the curious glances around the lower caverns. Instead they walked pressed close together, shoulders jostling as they seemed almost to be trying to form one person. Kurogane did notice the way their hands crept into each other's when he glanced back to check on them over his shoulder, and he said nothing.

Truth be told he was kind of glad Suzuran had bullied him into playing caretaker until the hatching. Someone had to look out for these twins, and it might as well be him. Especially since she'd gone and handed him a legitimate excuse to watch over them.

It could be worse.

---

Apparently all the prospective candidates usually bunked down together in cells near the hatching grounds; for whatever reason, they were permitted to stay in Kurogane's... weyr, he had called it. He'd rigged up a hammock near Ginryuu for himself and gave them his bed in the next room, with enough grumbling that in anyone else would have made Yuui worry, but in Kurogane he was learning just meant the man still had a pulse.

Dinner had consisted of the choicest cuts of herdbeast Yuui had ever tasted, served in a kind of strange soup that tasted delicious. He and Fai had both wolfed down two bowls of the stuff, although Yuui had tried to push more of the soft, fresh-baked bread onto Fai than consumed himself. Sweet, tart fruit juice had completed the meal, and it had been a very long time since Yuui had tasted anything so good. From the look on Fai's face as he sat folded in on himself in his chair, it had been even longer for Fai.

And that left them here, curled together on a genuine bed with a genuine mattress and genuine blankets in a real weyr. It was different to Telgar; drapes around the bed kept the drafts away, and the blankets chased out the worst of the chill from the stone walls and floors. Instead of the scent of roasting food heavy on the air due to the proximity of Yuui's sleeping cell to Telgar's kitchens, the air smelled of dragon, a warm leathery tinge to the air that he didn't mind at all.

The bedding also smelled like Kurogane - iron and firestone and the dragon scent, combined with a strange musk he didn't recognize, which was a little weird. Not to mention the sweetsand they'd used to cleanse their own bodies in the baths, and it was all very unfamiliar indeed; just not actually bad.

So now it was just this; night and him and Fai curled together in a single bed, sharing like they always had done. And Charis must not have said anything because if he had then Yuui knew he wouldn't be allowed to be this close to his brother, but the strange thing was how perfectly chaste they were being. He had missed Fai so much. He was happy simply to lie there with his twin in his arms, nose pressed into the crook of Fai's throat, breathing in the smell of Fai's skin mingled with other artificial scents; their fingers were entangled together so tightly Yuui was starting to lose feeling in his palms and he didn't care, not at all.

I missed you, he thought, carefully wrapping the words in feelings and pushing them at Fai, and watched the way his twin's eye, the one nearest to him, opened to a tiny crescent of blue.

I missed you too, Fai thought back. His emotions were rather less refined than Yuui's, and Yuui could feel the old twinge of pain and fear hiding behind them, despite Fai's best efforts to keep them from him. Yuui still didn't know what had happened to him when they had been separated, or who had done it, but he meant to find out if he had to sit there for the rest of his life and pick apart the strange creature that was Fai.

The hatching could happen any day now. As part of his tour Kurogane had taken them up to the hatching grounds - the sand scorchingly hot, even through the soles of their new thick borrowed Weyr boots - and shown them the eggs; forty-nine large, oval things in varying shades of cream, and one large egg that had been set apart from the others, shining golden. It didn't take a genius to see the larger egg was a queen dragon egg. The gold dragon who had laid them - the former Weyrwoman's dragon - was curled morosely around that queen egg, watching them through lidded eyes; her hide was so pale it was a sickly yellow.

"She'll die when the eggs hatch," Kurogane said bluntly when he saw them staring at her. "Dragons suicide when their riders do. She's only stayed this long because of these." He gestured at the smooth shells of the eggs, and Yuui bit his lip, looking between the eggs and their mother. She had watched them enter, but having obviously assessed them as 'not a threat' she seemed content to ignore them.

"Most of these will be greens," Kurogane continued, walking about the clutch. "Greens are the most common. They're female, but they don't lay eggs like the queens do - they chew firestone to fight Thread, makes 'em useless for that. Every Wing needs a ton of greens, though. They're small and they're fast.

"After them come the blues, they're a bit larger and a lot lazier. Then the browns. Some of the browns can be the size of a bronze, although not many. A brown rider might make it to wing second someday; one of my seconds is a brown rider, and so is the weyrlingmaster who'll be training you if you Impress."

"And then you bronze riders, right, Kuro-black?" Fai asked in his quiet, thoughtful voice, and Kurogane gritted his teeth and turned to him with a murderous light in his eyes.

"My name. Is not. Kuro-black!"

Fai flashed him one of his charming smiles, the ones that made Yuui uneasy. "It's a good name," he said seriously, "And it's a description too. Would Kuro-tall work better for you?"

Kurogane ground his teeth so loudly Yuui could hear it all the way from the other side of the clutch, and nervously he reached out and caught Fai's sleeve. Maybe this was what Fai had done outside, running his mouth to hide how afraid he was. There was no need to keep it up here.

Kurogane glared at them, but then something like understanding flashed across his eyes and he sighed and shook his head. "Whatever," he said, grumpily. "Yes, then us bronze riders. Then the queens." He gestured at the dying queen dragon guarding her egg; she ignored him. Yuui found he didn't like looking at her. Everyone in the world knew of how rare and how valuable the queens were, and to see her and know that she was living on borrowed time felt wrong.

It felt strange, here in this temporary almost-sanctuary, Fai at long last back in his arms, to remember how this day had started; back in Telgar Hold, he in his plain servant's cot, Fai on the rushes in his shared cell. It had been barely a few hours ago, and yet it was simultaneously a different life entirely. Suzuran said that they wouldn't have to go back to the Hold no matter what, and it was the best thing he'd ever heard.

He wanted to Impress a dragon. He wanted to impress Kurogane, actually, but a dragonet would be nice. He and Fai could prove their worth and earn their places here, and then... and then he would never have to worry about what would happen to him if someone found out. That was all he wanted.

Quietly he squeezed Fai's hands, and felt his twin shifting against him before Fai returned the gesture. They curled closer against each other under the blankets, and he screwed his eyes shut and pulled Fai up against him, mindful as he could be of the bruising. No matter what, Fai was never going back there, where he'd be blamed and hurt and all twisted up inside.

That he knew for sure.

---

He was dreaming, dreaming of chasing runnerbeasts on his father's land. They were eluding him, and he didn't have the right tools; just a net on a stick. Fai was in his dream too, of course, by necessity, and they were working together trying to corner the animals, when -

"Yuui," Fai said, "Do you hear that?"

There was a steady rhythmic humming noise coming from what felt like the ground under their feet. They glanced at each other curiously, and warily they slid back to back, casting wary, worried looks around their surroundings.

"It sounds like... like wherries fighting," Yuui said, and Fai shook his head.

"Too low for that," he said. He was all seriousness now, his mouth taut with his earnestness. "What do you -"

The humming increased in volume and the earth began to violently shake; Fai let out a shocked yelp and Fai reached for him, but there was a fissure and he was falling and he couldn't reach -

"Will you fucking wake up?" Kurogane groused, and Yuui opened his eyes to find the man less than six inches from his face and fully dressed. Kurogane narrowed his eyes at him and gave him one more shake, presumably to make sure he wasn't faking it; Yuui groggily swatted his hands away,

"Kurogane?" he said, and coughed. "What...?"

"Finally," Kurogane said, standing up straight. Fai was sitting upright on the other edge of the bed, hurriedly pulling on a white robe; Kurogane had another in one hand and he tossed it at Yuui, who flailed for it midair, missed, and got it in the face. "The pair of you are like blocks of wood, I swear. Come on, we don't have time for this."

"Time for what?" Yuui asked, and then realized the humming noise he'd dismissed as an echo of his dream was in fact still there, and even growing louder.

Kurogane was on his way out of the room and into the weyr proper, but at this question he stuck his head back around the wall. His sharp, cranky-looking face was tinged today with a kind of excitement. "Hatching," he said, and disappeared again.

The twins exchanged a look, and then suddenly it was a mad scramble to get into the white Impression robes.

Kurogane had Ginryuu waiting in the main weyr when that trotted out, nervously holding the sandals he'd left them by the straps. Having been on the hatching ground sands, they were fairly sure the soles weren't really up to the job. Maybe it was a kind of tradition to have Impression candidates doing some bizarre hotfooted shuffle on the grounds.

"Basic rules," said Kurogane. "It's good luck if a bronze hatches first, don't set your standards high, and under no circumstances show fear."

"Fear?" Yuui said, sharply. Fai echoed him, but Kurogane didn't answer, just held out the riding strap. If he'd meant to be helpful he'd more or less failed.

Ginryuu deposited them at the mouth of the hatching grounds. He was hardly the only dragon couriering white-robed candidates there; they seemed to be the last to arrive, and Fai ran a quick tally and then leaned forward and whispered into Yuui's ear that he'd counted well over sixty boys of varying ages for forty-nine eggs. There were five girls, huddled together nervously near the old queen and her golden egg. Yuuko's queen studied them imperviously, her head held high and her posture regal. The humming noise came from her, as well as every other dragon in the Weyr; but she was the loudest, being the closest.

There were viewing stands situated along the wall, for various Lord Holders and craftsfolk and other dignitaries; as they watched a man wearing the sash of Benden Hold and a woman in an impractical dress were escorted from the back of a green dragon up to the stands by a tall man they didn't recognize who wore wingleader markings on his shoulder, like Kurogane. Nervously Yuui scanned the benches, looking for Charis; he didn't see him but he did see Nesbitt of Crom Hold.

"Come on," Fai said to him in a low voice, and waved at Kurogane, waggling his fingers. "Goodbye, Kuro-cranky! Wish us luck!"

"I'll wish you weren't so damn irritating," Kurogane growled, but he made the good luck sign with his free hand. He headed over to the stands, dismissing Ginryuu with a slap to the shoulder, and the bronze dragon leaped out of the way to make room for more dragons bearing more guests. Kurogane paused and then said in a low voice, "They're stronger than they look and they don't understand they can hurt you. Don't fuck around."

With that rather inspiring bit of advice, he was gone, marching stiffly across the superhot sands to the viewing area. The other wingleader greeted him with a slap on the shoulder; Kurogane shrugged him off and growled at him.

Yuui bit his lip, glancing over at the dragon eggs. They seemed to have changed in colour since Kurogane had taken them to visit, which was ridiculous because that had only been a few hours ago. Some of them seemed to be rocking faintly. Nervously, Yuui held out his hand, palm up; after only a few seconds Fai covered it with his own and squeezed, and together they joined the throng of boys and young men surrounding the non-golden eggs.

After that it was a waiting game. The trickle of dragons bearing visitors slowed, and then ceased; the humming from Yuuko's queen and the other dragons began to increase in volume. A woman with short dark hair and very thick soles stepped onto the sands and they turned toward her, more for lack of any other direction to turn to.

"Alright, form a circle around the eggs," she ordered, gesturing with her hands, and they did. "Nobody stand too close to anyone else! If they want to get to someone, they'll hurt you if you're in their way." One of the eggs had started rocking more violently than the others, and she had to go sort out a small scrum of boys trying to edge close to it, hauling them roughly into positions by the collars of their robes. Yuui and Fai hesitantly retreated to what seemed to them a safe distance, close enough that they could reach each other if they stretched out their hands, and the woman passed by them and paused, looking from one of them to the other with a dubious expression as though she didn't believe her eyes.

"Weird," she said, and shook her head before continuing her patrol. The rocking egg was shaking now; a fine spiderweb of cracks had formed across its surface. As one the boys leaned closer, and the humming of the queen dragon had ratcheted up a notch; the girls clustered around the queen egg had their backs to it, to better watch the boys.

The egg shook hard, but it was the one next to it that had barely started quivering that cracked first. One moment there was a network of delicate lines across its middle, and the next a small, wedge-shaped head punched violently through the hard surface, knocking a shard of shell flying and dripping membranes over the sands as it drew its head back and determinedly knocked its way out with the egg tooth at the end of its muzzle. There was a sound like hundreds of people sucking in a breath, and out of the corner of his eye Yuui watched the patrolling woman make her way to the little dragonet right as it managed to knock its way out.

It mewled crankily and clawed at the ground, managing to right itself; and then it spread its wings imperiously, and the assembled crowd let out a low murmur of approval at the shining bronze of its wing membranes. A few boys close to it were shifting nervously, looking torn between approaching and fleeing.

"Relax, boys," the woman said calmly. "Let him come to you."

The dragonet shook its head and made a small, irritable chirp, beating its little wings a few times gently; and then it took its first fumbling steps, its head craning back and forth at the end of its neck as it peered thoughtfully up at the faces of the boys ringed around it. It ignored the ones closest to it and padded along the line, staring at faces; and then it stopped before one youth, reared up on its hind legs, flipped its wings to its back and whistled cheerfully.

The youth was staring down into its eyes like he was about to drown, and as Yuui watched a slow, touched smile spread across his face. "Hello," he said, quietly, and the dragon cheeped at him. Turning his head, the youth beamed at the patrolling woman. "He says his name is Hien," he said in delight, and the people on the stands began to applaud.

The woman - who appeared to be some kind of tutor - clapped the kid on the shoulder and pointed to a side entrance leading out of the hatching grounds, opposite the viewing stands; the boy nodded, still grinning and now with his eyes firmly glued to little Hien's. He looked a bit punch-drunk, Yuui thought.

"Is that it?" Fai asked quietly, and Yuui bit his lip and shrugged. "It seems a bit... anti-climatic."

"Maybe it's different if it's you," Yuui offered softly as another two eggs began to crack. A green and a brown, this time; they repeated the same wing drying-then-hunting-their-riders routine. They never even made it halfway around the circle toward the twins before picking out the boys they wanted.

By the time another six dragonets had hatched the queen egg began to rock, and it was this which drew the crowd's attention; while everyone else was distracted by the golden egg and the nervous girls surrounding it, Yuui and Fai watched nine greens, five blues, another brown and two bronzes hatch and pick out their riders. One of the blues provided the first mauling of the evening when a boy (intent on one of the greens, which was waddling toward him chirping) stepped between said blue and the boy it had chosen; the little dragonet knocked him over with a headbutt and slashed its way up his body as it made its awkward, ungainly way toward its own rider.

"You okay?" asked the short-haired woman, bending over the injured boy; but he didn't even seem to have noticed her, too busy petting the green dragon's head and reassuring her that he was quite alright. With a huff of amusement she bent down and dragged him to his feet.

"There doesn't seem to be any kind of... decision-making," Fai mused, and Yuui glanced at him. His twin had his arms crossed over his chest, his blue eyes soft as he took in the spectacle; but sensing Yuui's gaze he returned it. "I mean, most of them seem to know who they want straight away. How?"

"They talk to each other," Yuui said. "In their heads, I mean. I overheard Ginryuu and Kurogane talking before we left the Hold."

Fai cocked his head to one side. "Really? Hyuu~, that is interesting. Is it like you and I?"

Yuui shook his head: no, and then amended it with, "At least, I don't think so."

"Veeeery interesting," Fai mused, rubbing at his chin with the fingers of his free hand, and Yuui smiled at him before glancing back at the eggs - only to violently jump.

There was a green dragonet sitting at his feet, barely inches away from him, her wet wings draped across the sands. Her eyes were bright and warm.

Hello, she said.

"Uh," Yuui said, feeling rather like someone had just pulled the carpet out from underneath his feet. He heard Fai suck in a sharp breath beside him, but that would involve looking away from his eyes, and he wasn't sure he could do that. In them he saw... partnership, a mental link, a kind of completion that could not be matched anywhere else, the knowledge that she had been made for this. That they both had.

Hello, she said again, her mental voice containing hints of warmth and amusement.

"Hi," Yuui said, dumbly.

She shifted, lifting her little wings, and angled her head to one side. Her eyes were pools of whirling rainbows, and Yuui had the distinct impression that if he looked away the spell would be broken. Are you my human? she asked, curiously.

Yuui swallowed; why did his throat feel so scratchy? "Maybe," he said cautiously, and she blinked at him. "What does that mean?"

She showed him: partnership, a seamless melding of minds. No privacy, but that was okay because she was so perfectly suited to him that that didn't matter. He would never be alone again, because nobody could take her from him or vice versa; all the sore spots inside, she would be there to heal, because she loved him so much, and...

Yuui was starting to have an inkling of the reason why dragonriders always got those soppy expressions on their faces when talking about their dragons.

It sounded wonderful, but there was something... off... a voice in the back of his head... Puzzled, he drew back from her, tried to remember what it could be. Something cold and dark, something hurt. Black and blue, and gold and white, and...

Fai, he thought, sharply.

Fai?

Fai, my twin, he replied quickly. He's hurt... little one, I can't...

She turned away from him, removing those beautiful rainbow eyes and giving Fai a long, thoughtful look. He's hurt?

"Yes," Yuui said, and then licked his lips and continued mentally. A lot of people have hurt him. Inside and outside.

There was a pause, and then the green dragon thought, with some surprise, He's sad.

Yes, Yuui thought quietly. He needs help. He can't fix it by himself.

The green dragon blinked thoughtfully; Yuui dared look up and realized she was the last dragonet on the hatching sands. The dark-haired woman was approaching them cautiously; the colossal coiled figure of the queen was stilled wrapped around a dias on which shards of golden egg shell lay. Her eyes were a bright blue, the same colour as Fai's.

Hesitantly, the little green dragon thought, Maybe I could fix him?

She could, Yuui thought. That possibility was available to her. That simple, pure love was just what Fai needed.

"Yes," he said, gently. "Yes. It's okay."

She blinked at him a few times, and he sensed that she was looking into him, looking past his exterior into everything that made him him; and then she turned away, turned to Fai, and he knew then that he had lost his chance, that she had been his dragonet. Beside him Fai sucked in a sharp breath, like someone had slugged him in the gut; and then he smiled, a beautiful, real smile that not even Yuui could put on his face nowadays, and hunkered down to crouch in front of her.

"Hello there, Souhi," said Fai, and his dragonet chirped at him and headbutted him gently in the face. He laughed and raised a hand to scratch at her neck, and finally, finally, the humming died out.

"Took you long enough," said the dark-haired woman, smiling. "Come on then, kiddo. Souhi's hungry, right?"

Fai gave her a rueful look. "She's starving," he said, and Yuui noticed how he kept a hand on her jaw as he spoke.

"Go figure," the woman said. "Come on, then, let's get her some food. I'm Souma, by the way, the weyrlingmaster. I'll be training you both."

"Okay," Fai said, but from the way he looked at Souhi she was all he really cared about. Yuui folded his arms over his chest and smiled, stepping back and letting Souhi awkwardly waddle past him over the hatching ground sands; Fai turned and looked back at him, startled. "Yuui -?"

"Go feed her," Yuui said gently. "It's okay. I'll still be here."

"Only weyrlings are allowed into the training area anyway," Souma said, giving Yuui a sympathetic glance, and he smiled and shrugged. "Come on."

Fai looked like he might have hesitated, but Souhi butted her head against his flank and made a particularly plaintive noise, and that made his mind up for him; Yuui didn't move from the hatching ground sand as he watched his brother and his brother's dragonet leave. When he heard boots crunching up beside him he wasn't particularly surprised.

"What was that?" Kurogane asked, folding his arms and moving to stand beside him. "Looked like that dragonet was going to be yours for a long time."

Yuui shrugged. "I don't like heights," he said, which earned him a glare from the wingleader. Honestly, he said, "Fai needed her more."

"You idiot," Kurogane said, but there was no real heat in it. After a moment, he said, "What are you going to do now?"

"I don't know," Yuui said. "But you said there were plenty of people living in a Weyr who aren't riders. I'm sure I'll find something."

Kurogane eyed him for a long time, and then grunted. "Yeah, you probably will," he said, and raised a hand, clapping Yuui on the shoulder with enough force he buckled. "Well, if you're sure you're going to be fine. You need a ride down from here?"

Yuui's smile was answer enough, to both Kurogane's questions. No matter what he picked, he'd cope. It wasn't the best solution, but he could make it work.

Besides, someone had to hang around to stop Fai from being ridiculous. Might we well be him.

-fin

---

Concluding notes: I actually developed a ton of further ideas for this setting, including expanding it and the storyline into a Kuro/Fai/Yuui threesome pairing, but I have a lot of things to write this December & I wanted to get this out before Christmas for Eijentu. I hope you liked it, and with any luck I might return to it at some point, but I can't promise anything... I have a lot of outstanding projects!

At any rate, thank you for reading, and have a great Christmas if you celebrate it and a good time if you don't. /lesser than three!