Ten months. That's a long time to constantly be depressed over a break-up. To always think of what went wrong, what could have happened, what should have changed, and what would never come back. Every so often there would be that sliver of thought that "Perhaps I need to grow up" that would slither in, only to make the situation worse. Nothing like thinking you're weak when you already feel it; only adds to the problem. Still, Arthur thought many times that he needed to get on with his life. Find a new way to see life and not worry about what another thought.
But Arthur had yet to break the mold of such thought. He was tired of being so sad and alone. He wanted to move on and forward with his life. It was just hard to start when he had no clear direction of where to go.
His new job that he had started only a few months ago was starting to become just as mundane as school had been shortly before he graduated from college. For the majority of his college life, he was dating and happy and enjoying his life and his education. Sadly, the last year of his time at school, his love life had started falling apart and then weeks before the actual ceremony his girlfriend had dumped him.
For the first few months, he moped and wasn't sure where he wanted to go with his life anymore. Normally he was such a strong young man, but the assurance that his beloved would be by his side had ripped everything he knew to be true right out from under him. It took almost two months for him to stand again, albeit, very apprehensively. Now he was back on his feet, but walking with no clear pathway. It was scary and lonely.
That was what drove him into depression the most.
He knew a person wasn't what could lead him out of this utter feeling of insecurity; he had to find it within himself. Still, he was drawn towards what he felt was the oddest sensation of his life. Arthur was never one to follow the rules very much, teetering on the edge of being a punk. He was never one to follow trends in high school which was the reason he was such an outcast during his secondary education years.
For some reason, though, this new employee was quite a beacon that drew him close. Everything he did had the rest of the office instantly interested in anything ideas he came up with to improve the quality of their work. It didn't help that the man had gotten a position in the company because the manager of their department was his best friend.
Still, Arthur held no ill-will towards the younger man. How could he? He knew so little about the cheery lad. He only knew his name was Alfred Jones, he was some kind of genius for graduating college at the age of nineteen, and he was originally from America. He was loud and vocal, often talking so loud that the entire floor could hear him, but he was kind to everyone and remembered everything about them.
So it was surprising when one day, Alfred showed his head into Arthur's cubicle and asked if he wanted to join him for lunch. Arthur squashed down the instinctive question of "Why me?" and pushed himself to just accept that someone wanted to talk to him. If he were to move forward he would have to start with acknowledging that the way he thought so lowly of himself was not the way others did.
He nodded, following Alfred to where ever he had in mind. The man had brought along two other employees Arthur knew as the excitable Veneciano and the always rushed Toris. The trio seemed to have already created a nice little circle. One that Arthur didn't feel very much a part of. He never did back in school as sometimes even his own group of friends outcasted him or forgot to invite him along to whatever party they were going to. It was because of this that Arthur had lingering anxiety about being in groups, especially ones that already had such a close knit bond. He kept his head bent low and his opinions to himself as the group chattered during lunch.
At one point, Alfred looked over to Arthur. "Hey, what do you think Arthur?"
Arthur looked up, surprised that such a happy man had noticed him. That a person had noticed him at all. "S-sorry?"
"Were you listening?" Alfred asked, his smile still bright as ever.
"I'm sorry… No I wasn't." Arthur looked down, embarrassed. "I…I tend to space out."
Alfred didn't get upset. He merely laughed, "Yeah, you do look that way a lot."
Arthur blushed, but not from being embarrassed. No, he felt his heart stutter from the fact that someone paid him attention and that he remembered something about him. "You…you know this about me…how?"
"Nothing creepy or anything," Alfred began, smirking. "It's just when I come in to get permission for my paperwork or tell you we have a meeting, you tend to be looking out the window or staring aimlessly at the computer."
Veneciano leaned over laughing. "He does? Ludwig yells at me when I do that sometimes too."
"He yells at you for a lot of things," Toris said with a slight chuckle.
Arthur was slightly taken aback. The other men were just as carefree as Alfred. Perhaps that was why they all got along so well. So how was it Arthur had been invited as well? Surely Alfred could have asked Im Yong Soo or the manager, Kiku, out to have lunch with him. He got along so well with everyone, but he and the younger boy had hardly exchanged any words.
Nonetheless, Alfred was increasingly kind through-out the lunch. He ever offered to pay for Arthur's share, declaring it an initiation into the friendship of the others. Toris and Veneciano seemed just as delighted and not at all upset that Arthur was supposedly included in Alfred's circle. He thanked the boys for their thoughtfulness and returned to work.
It wasn't long afterwards that the relationship between Arthur and Alfred had changed. It was slow, as most work-related friendships went. It started with a few more lunch hangouts and a few small talk moments by the vending machines. It slowly progressed to Arthur randomly getting e-mails from Alfred during work asking what he was up to and how his weekend went.
One night as the employees closed up, Alfred appeared at Arthur's cubicle again. The blonde pushed his glasses up on his face as Arthur gathered his things.
"Hey, you free tonight?" Alfred asked innocently.
Arthur, who had been bending over to get his briefcase, jerked upright. His face was terribly red and unable to meet Alfred's curious look.
"Are you okay? You're all red." Alfred moved forward to put his hand on Arthur's forehead.
Arthur stumbled back, shaking his head. "N-no, I'm okay. S-sorry, I just… No, I'm fine. I'm free."
Alfred lit up, beaming a smile unlike any Arthur had ever seen. "Great! Me and my brother were gonna go out for drinks! He wants to meet you."
"Meet me?" Arthur repeated. That meant Alfred had talked about him. To someone else. Arthur's face was increasingly blooming into a new shade of red he never knew he could become.
"Yeah. Well, you know, he's my roommate and he makes me my lunches," Alfred started. He was talking faster than before and rubbed the back of his head while looking at the tiny plant in the corner of Arthur's cubicle. "But when I told him I didn't need it so many times, he asked me why. I just told him I eat out with you a lot and it's more fun that way."
Alfred's lighthearted laugh seemed so genuine that Arthur felt compelled to believe he really meant every word. Arthur smiled, just slightly, and nodded. He ignored that unsettling feeling in his stomach, refusing to believe that Alfred could be lying to him just to be nice.
"Where are we going?" Arthur asked after a time.
"Just down to the local pub to drink," Alfred replied.
Arthur smirked, accompanying Alfred as they walked out of the building together. "Ah, so you're drinking because you can't back in the States?"
"Something like that," Alfred chuckled with a small blush. "Besides, I haven't been in England that long. I want to take in the British life, ya know?"
Arthur nodded, reaching his car. "You haven't done any sightseeing?"
"No. I haven't really had time." Alfred looked at Arthur's car, running his hand over the hood. "Hey, you have a really nice car."
"Thank you," Arthur replied. "Do you have a license yet?"
Alfred shook his head. "Naw. But my bro's lived here a little longer than me and he has one. He totes me around, but he's coming straight from work and can't pick us up. Do you think you could drive?"
Arthur waved his hand out to the car, prompting another smile from Alfred who climbed into the vehicle. Arthur followed suit and together, they drove to the pub. Alfred leaned forward to turn on the radio, probably thinking that classical music or even some soft jazz would be playing. He was sorely mistaken when loud punk music blared from the speakers. Arthur's hand shot out, turning down the volume as quickly as he could. He always left the music as high as he could, parking a little earlier than anyone else just so he could finish listening to that last song with no one watching him. It was a lovely little secret. A secret now spoiled.
Alfred blinked at Arthur in surprise, but said nothing. He looked out the window, not even taking notice that the music was still playing the background. Arthur's hands gripped the wheel as he thought about how now Alfred would laugh at him or tell him off or even stop talking to him all together. But since when did he care what anyone thought?
Since Alfred had first smiled at Arthur and asked him to lunch with his friends.
"Hey, I love this song!" Alfred exclaimed. He leaned over, turning up the volume a bit more. "Offspring is pretty good, huh?"
Arthur looked over, his eyes wide. "You…you like punk?"
Alfred shrugged. "Punk, rock, pop, country, it's all the same stuff to me. It's awesome. Limitations on music is stupid. If it's good, it's good. Who cares if you like it?"
They came to a stop at a light and, for a moment, it was just the music and the boys. Arthur couldn't look away. He was truly captivated by Alfred. The glow from the street lights gave him an inhuman aura around his blonde hair, making his blue eyes seem just that much bluer. His glasses reflected the scenery around them. He was tapping his foot and nodding his head, humming along to the song.
It was then Arthur saw it. Saw the most horrifying thing he could possibly think of. That bloody mythological creature called Cupid striking him with another arrow. Arthur reared back, almost in disgust. And that's exactly what it was. He was sickened that love was coming for him and that it was with a man.
Scrunching up his nose and looking out at the road, it hit him that he had found his path. The choice now was to see which exit he would take. One with or without Alfred.
Hoshiko2's cents: Day 5. I almost wasn't going to upload today, but I found an idea.
An idea that I might expand on and make into a new series. I need your guys' opinions. Please let me know if you think I should continue. It'll be more angst and real (with less Disney) about coming out and understanding your true feelings.