A/N The world, although publicly seen as a logical and structured place...well, let's just say it isn't. First of all, normal isn't considered a word. I believe that every person is weird in some way, and that's what this story will atempt to prove. Life is just interesting like that. ^^

Axel

Dear Diary,

Today was the best day ever! I woke up to my precious life partner close to me. Every day is a dream, and it always starts off right with my love's warm body snuggled up close to me. I blew into his ear, and the darling woke with a start. The reaction I get is like a dog jumping at his reflection. It was so CUTE! Anyways, we immediately had a playful little pillow fight, but soon collapsed into laughter and exhaustion. It was only seven in the morning and already we had worked up a sweat! Glistening yet clear beads of sweat were rolling down both our faces, and I felt like I could burst into tears, at how perfect life was. Well, I did, but my love was already one step ahead of me! I feel like we're much too similar, ohohoho!

Moving on, we dragged ourselves out of bed, and I was shut out of the room so that my honey could change! Maybe we're still not there yet...but I digress. We raced each other out into the main courtyard of our Nobody Headquarters, where we would begin our glamorous activity. Since it was summer, lil' ol' honey decided to shove ice down my back. I yelped and returned the favor. We did this for God knows how long, but I did not even notice the amount of time that had flown by. We went from ice to wrestling, but needless to say, I won. It can't be helped that my masculinity gives me an advantage.

Because of this, darling pouted and gave me a face that was angry yet angelic at the same time. At the end of the day, I was once again shut out of our bedroom, and I was sent to the multi-purpose couch. Don't worry, dearest diary, we're not actually fighting! We have this little game going on where I'm shut out on purpose and then I enter through a secret passage that leads into the room. It's covered by his poster of Namine, and I built it so that we would never be alone together! Hooray for my creativity! It really spices up our romance!

Well, it's been fun, but I gotta go get my beauty sleep! Tomorrow's another day, and it'll always be another happy day, as long as I'm with my love.

THE END

To AkuRoku fans, please stop here.

Really, it's the end.

Roxas

Dear Diary,

Let me just say that today has been another shitty day. The dream before the day started was great. In it, Namine actually confessed to me, and we even hugged! I was so damn happy at that time...

SO DAMN HAPPY!

...But then I felt somebody breathe into my ear. Thinking that it was Namine, I flinched and opened my eyes. Elated, I turned my head around and what do I see? The homo lying beside me, latching onto me like a leech on skin. I swore seven times in under three seconds, and whipped out my keyblade. Unfortunately, the gay bastard quickly blocked my attack with his damn chakrams, so I continued with my offensive onslaught. It wasn't long before my bed was ruined and pillow feathers were strewn all over the floor.

Those pillows were special limited edition Kingdom Hearts pillows that I got on Ebay! Damn that Axel. Damn him to hell! Those cost $34.99 plus tax! I look down on the ground, and I see dear Namine's face partially incinerated by Axel's flames. The face that had inspired me to kill off every bidder at the auction had been reduced to ashes.

I couldn't take it anymore. I cried out in frustration, with a hint of madness. For some reason, that idiotic ass decided that it was funny, and cried along with me. His crocodile tears only fueled my anger. Seriously, what the hell is wrong with him!

I took the oppportunity to throw him out into the hallway, slamming and locking the door in one quick motion. He giggled, and that was when I realized just how insane Axel was. I heard him clawing at the door, and I could not help but pray for God to kill him.

When an enigmatic silence took hold of the room, I opened my locked door, making sure not to produce the smallest decibel of sound...and ran as fast as I could. At last! I was free! I could run away to God knows where and I would put as much distance as I could from that red-headed maniac.

I laughed...and heard the rapid movement of footsteps coming my way. I ran into the courtyard so that I could have enough space for a proper fight. Once he entered my line of vision, I focused all my mana in blizzaga-ing the shit out of him. Water attacks were strong against fire, after all!

But then I remembered the reason why my charizard had lost to a walrein.

Let's just say that the ice attack didn't work. I was horrified to find out that he was laughing. This was just a sick little game to him! He merely caught the ice and threw them back at me.

I now have multiple scars and bruises throughout my body.

I felt desperation rise up within me, so I screamed and charged at him head-on. Yeah, big mistake. Not only is Axel taller, he's also stronger. He pulled off various wrestling moves, and even though I tapped the ground as much as I could, he would not stop. It was a combination of sexual harrassment and torture. Hell wasn't in the afterlife. Hell was in that courtyard, pulling off a moonsault on my tired ass.

Eventually, he stopped, so I took the chance and dashed back to my room, locking it shut once again. In retrospect, why the hell did I even leave that room? It was a safe haven. I felt like facepalming, but my wrist was dislocated, so it would hurt a hell of a lot. Now, I am writing with my injured hand, because I want to chronicle these stories, so that anybody who may stumble upon this will learn and be a bit wiser. Please, for the love of God, stay away from Axel. You have been warned.

Anyways, I have to crash. I'll update you on anything else. Till then, wish me luck.

Oh, and by the way, you might be wondering why I'm still sane. That's because I have my limited edition poster of Namine! Oh, how my heart pounds when I stare into her eyes. I know that she, of all people, would never betray or hide something from me. However, it always feels slightly cooler when I put my face right in front of it. Maybe her spirit is watching over me?

A/N Reality is something we don't fully comprehend. But then again, as long as you're happy, who needs reality! Right, Axel? =) R&R! Tell me what you think!