Urfbownd: Ma versun of da storee!

Chaoper Won! Ness wakes up!

OK, so may name is Ness. I am a teenage boy from Eggland who wears bassball clotes and stiff like dat. wun dae I woke uop and herd a nock on mai front door. It was den that I know that my destiny was cumming.

So I went outside to my frunt door and opened it. It was... ... ... Porkey! He was, like, really swetty and fat (like Glen bek, only uglir). SO he toled me that his bruther Pickey was missing!

(AN: Well, stuff happend before dat, but it ain't impotent to the plut, so lets keep goin) Pokie asked me to cum with him but I saud no! Because, I really dunt like Pokey, like, at all! So he sais that he'll say sumfin cut me liek a knife if I dunt. So I said yess (because I really hate pointie objeks). and he took me utsied.

We started walkin uphil when i saw dat no polices were heree. I tought that they all left but i guess i was right! :D And then we were attaked by aminals!

There were dogs and squirels and crows and they were all like attacking us painfully! Pokey tried to run away but he couldn't! So I got my baseball bat frum my hoes and starting beating up the crows and snakes and dogs! And I killed all of them, even the cut dogs!

So, I took the dogs and cooked them over a fier and pokey and I had a great breakfast (did i mention that it was in the middle of the night when all dis happend?) And we had a great brekfast too. It was good.

So we kept walking up the mountin and my hed bagan to hurt badly. As we got to da top, we saw... Picky! And he were happy. Wen Picky finally woke up, he sed that Pokey ran away wen he herd the metor hit da mountain! I was liek wat? Picky started to beat up Pokey for abandoning him. Then he took his left arm off.

Suddenly the red meteor behind us started to open and a bee came out!

Porkey was leik "hey ness, did you hear sumthing that siunded like a bee?"

The bee said "A bee I am not" "I am from 52 years in the future and in the future all is deviastaton! GAYGAS, the universal cosimic destur, haz sent all to da horrur of eturnal drarkness! So dat means Nes haz to go save da worlds!" said Buzz Buzz. "My name is Buzzbuzz and I came to warn you of wat's about to happen! Pokey and picky can't help you because they arent cool enuff. So go Ness! You haff to do this alone! But yu wont be by yurself! Three other kids will help yu and I can't tell you dere names."

So Ness took Picky and Pokey bak home but we couldn't because there was a ROBOT in our way! It said that its name was Starman Junior!

Buzz Buzz but up an invincible shield so that we couldn't get hurt. Picky was throwing rocks at the robot and pokey was hiding behind the robot and got his left arm pulled off. I decided to use my baseball bat and hit him with it! The starman started bleeding so I ran away!

Picky was using a magic spell to kill the Starman Junior and it worked. So we walked into pokey's house. Inside were to really fat pepole. They were ... Pokey's parents and Picky's parents!

There dad told them to go upstair so he could kill them, and they did. Ness stood in there living room with his mom, who was still hot even dough she waz fat. So we played strup poker and ness won.

Two days later Pokeys dad came down "I killed both of them" he happily announced! "And I ate their corpses without any salt! LOL"

We were very happy and had a treesum. And then Picky and pokey's hot mon killed Buzz Buzz with her bare hands.

Buzz buzz died and we all were sad. Except for Porky's parents.

As buzbuz died he told me that I had to find seven Sanktuarys and collect their melody with the sound stone which he prompty gave me.

And he died sexily. OK not sexily, I just wunted to troll yu one time. I wunt do it again, I prumise!

So I went outside and It was daytime! :D All the animals were playing, even the amilnials that we killed last night! And I decided to go into town and kill another gang. Becasue I like killing people an animals.

So I went into town and I saw the sharks (they were anuther gang) and I killed like fifty two of them. And then I went into the arcade in town and killed everyone in there when I found out that they weren't Sharks. So I went to the back of the arcade and I saw Frankie, the leder of the Sharks! He was a very tall person who loved knifes and even did one of his knifes! And I came in watching him put a nife inside him! I vumited cuz thats like gross!

ANd Frank and I fought! I ate hamburgers to keep my HP up while he made out with his knives to keep his HP up! Frank explained that the Sharks were actually charity people who gave to charities and helped people liev good lives! But ness hated charities and peoples lives so he killed frank. Suddenly, frankie transformd into a horrifying form... ... ... ... ... ... .. ... . .. ... .. Pinkie Pie frum My Little Pony (the new series!) And Ness wuz horrorfied! He hated girl showz almost moar then he haeted charaties!

So Ness killed the pony and ate it, just like the dogs back at the begining. And inside of the body waz a key to a shack in the outside of tiown! And that shack was the way to the first of the eight sanctiaries!

So ness left the place and went to the shak and used the key (after doing it with a hot Shark member - he was a girl). So I wet inside and went into a cave on the other side of the shack. Ness saw mice and slugs that tried to kill him. They took his bat away but left him alive.

So ness was crying tears and finally found a big shiny light. When he went inside he saw a giant ant the size of the Titanic. It was... teh Titanic Ant! And teh TitAnt started to hit me with powerful sycik powurs! I desided to use a powa that i had been keepin a sekret for so long... PK STARSTROM!

And then stars fell from the sky and destroyed my hometown of Onett. Oh, and they killed the ant. and it waz AEWSUM! Teh ands blood sploojed everiwere and ness liked it up. And suddenly the music of teh giant footprint in front of ness was sucked into teh sound stone. So ness got his baseball bat and wet downstairs.

When he left the shack, he saw six polices and they started beating up ness because he wasn't allowed in there. So ness killed four of the five and the fifth one ran away... but Ness cought up and killed him and ate his heart. Then the police general came up and took Nes by the hat and stabbed him in the heart. Ness then decided that he should kill him. So he did.

But then the Onett army came after ness, and I was too tired to kill all of them, so I left to the next town, which is called Tuscon.