A/N: And here is yet another songfic. Rejoice if you are sick of me killing off Danny! For a second time in a row I managed to keep him from dying! Cry in sorrow if you love my various methods of killing him, for I have failed to do so in this one. Anyway, as stated before, this is a songfic. The majority of you should know this artist. For those of you who don't this song is All That I'm Living For by Evanescence. As all of you do know, this is a DP fic and, sadly enough, I do not own him. I wish I did. So yeah, please R&R! Tell me if you love or hate this. You know the rest.
Home
All that I'm living for; all that I'm dying for; all that I can't ignore alone at night
Danny's eyes stared into the swirling green mass known as the ghost zone. The portal gave off a strange, eerie light that had become oddly comforting to him of late. He couldn't stop staring at it. It was so beautiful, so enticing, so… addicting. It used to give him the creeps, but that fear and apprehension were now missing. Now all he wanted to do was step through that portal and drift aimlessly through the ghost zone until…
Until what?
Danny sighed. He didn't know what was wrong with him. Actually, scratch that. He did know what was up. He was "growing into his powers" as Plasmius (curse his evil soul) put it. The more he "grew into his powers" the more ghost-like he would become and the more drawn to ghost zone he would be. Supposedly, something in the ghost zone was calling out to him, something that was bent on assimilating him. Before long, it wouldn't matter that he was part human. All that would matter was that he was part ghost. The end of his life as a human was in sight.
I can feel the night beginning; separate me from the living; understanding me after all I've seen; piecing every thought together; find the words to make me better; if I only knew how to pull myself apart
That is, if Plasmius was telling the truth, Danny thought. He almost never told the truth. He was probably just trying to scare him, play some sort of mind game. Danny couldn't possibly leave the human world. He just couldn't. There were too many people counting on him to protect them against the ghosts that came through that portal. Becoming one of those ghosts was out of the question.
"I can't do it. I can't become a ghost. I just can't. It's impossible. I am half ghost and that is it."
"You're right. You are half ghost and that is it. So why don't you join us? You know you want to," asked a voice seductively.
Danny jumped up and looked around nervously. Nobody behind him, in front of him, beside him, above, below… Who was talking to him?
"You've no reason to fear me. I just want to help…"
"Who are you? And where are you?!"
The voice laughed mirthlessly. "Who? Where? Does that really matter? Hm? Does it? You and I are the same, you know. So why don't you join me?"
"Because I'm also half human! I'm the protector of Amity Park! I'm Danny Phantom!"
All that I'm living for; all that I'm dying for; all that I can't ignore alone at night; all that I'm wanted for; although I wanted more; lock the last open door; my ghosts are gaining on me
"Sure you are, but are you happy?"
Danny opened his mouth to answer but found out he couldn't. Was he happy? Did he like what he did? Of course he did! He loved saving people! So why couldn't he say that?
"I'm happy!"
No response.
"Oh, so you've got nothing to say, huh? Can't convince me to join you?" Danny smirked. "Cat caught your tongue, Vlad?"
Nothing. The silence was disturbing. It surrounded him like water, like he was at the bottom of a deep pool. The weight of it was heavier than his duty to protect his home, heavier than his secret.
"Oh, just answer! I know you're here!"
"…"
Exasperated, the boy plopped back down on the floor. He stared at the portal again, his head in his hand.
Why did he stay here? Because he wanted to protect his home. But they didn't want to protect him. Being shot at by the very people he wished to save wasn't fun, was it? Why not let them find out what it was like to be him? Why not force them to protect themselves for a while? That would make them appreciate what he did.
But what if they couldn't? What if they couldn't save themselves? It would be his fault for leaving. His parents… They weren't exactly the best ghost hunters. His sister… She was smart, but she didn't have the strength. Sam… He couldn't leave her. He loved her. He didn't want anything to happen to her. Tucker… Well… Tucker had his technology and… Oh, who was he kidding? He couldn't leave Tucker either. Tucker was practically his brother. He couldn't abandon his brother!
He would miss them all too. They were his family, one his future family, and the last his sort "soul" family. He could never leave them. Never. Everyday, he feared something bad might happen to them. It was what kept him from leaving or giving up or anything else but standing and fighting for their safety.
But despite this, his dreams laid elsewhere…
I believe that dreams are sacred; take my darkest fears and play them; like a lullaby, like a reason why, like a play of my obsessions; make me understand the lesson; so I find myself; so I won't be lost again
The ghost zone was really where he belonged. It was a place of vast open spaces with no one to tell him he couldn't fly free. He wouldn't have to eat, sleep, do homework, worry about his social standing, do chores, water the tree, patrol the town, do his chores, let Dash beat him up, do his chores… Didn't he say 'do his chores' three times? One, two, three… Yeah, it was three times. Anyway, he would have fewer responsibilities and he could do more of what he wanted rather than what everyone else wanted or, in some cases, didn't want.
But still… It was his responsibility to protect Amity Park. That's what he had to do.
All that I'm living for; all that I'm dying for; all that I can't ignore alone at night; all that I'm wanted for; although I wanted more; lock the last open door; my ghosts are gaining on me
And Sam… He couldn't let her down. He loved her. She was one of the reasons he did what he did. It was for her. It was all for her. He had to keep the world safe so that some time in the future they could get married and have kids. He had to make sure the world was safe for them. If he didn't… There might not be a world to have kids in. There might not be a world to get married in! He had to stay. He had to resist the portal… And his dreams.
Guess I thought I'd have to change the world to make you see me; to be the one. I could have run forever; but how far would I have come without mourning your love?
He had to stay for her, for his family, and his sort of brother.
All that I'm living for
Even if it meant sacrificing his dreams.
All that I'm dying for
Even if it meant sleepless nights fighting the ones he wished to join and then staring at his ceiling the rest of the night wondering what it would be like to be free of all of this.
All that I can't ignore alone at night
He was wanted here. He was needed. He was the protector of this place and that was final.
All that I'm wanted for
He would never get what he wanted, what he really wanted, but he would just have to be satisfied with what he had.
Although I wanted more
Danny looked longingly into the portal. He was the protector of Amity Park. He was their body guard, shield, knight in spandex "armor", person they threw stuff at when they were upset, person they cussed out because they weren't grateful for his services. It was his self-appointed duty to stand there and take it.
"Join us… Come be free, Danny Phantom. You're a ghost. You serve only yourself."
"I'm not just a ghost. I'm a human too," Danny retorted.
"Why's your last name Phantom?"
"I chose it."
"Because you know what you are."
"Because I have to defend my secret."
"That you're a ghost…"
"Half ghost," Danny corrected.
"And you belong with us, Phantom."
Danny bit his lip. So tempting. They were right about one thing. He chose the name Phantom partially because he knew what he was, a ghost.
Half ghost, he corrected himself. I am a ghos… Half ghost. Gotta remember that.
"Join us, Phantom. You have nothing here."
"Yeah, I do! I have my family, Sam, Tucker…"
"And they're all human."
"I love them! I care about them!"
The voice snickered. The sound sent chills down Danny's spine. "And it hurts to love and care for them doesn't it?"
Should it hurt to love you?
Danny didn't say anything. The voice spoke true. It did hurt.
"You know you can't stay with them. What with your power surges and all. And Sam? You can't be with her. Be realistic, Phantom. You can't have children with her. You will only curse them with the same powers and responsibilities that you possess. And Tucker? Think about it. He only cares for his technology. Remember all the trouble he has gotten you into? You would be better off without him, without any of them.
"So, Phantom, do you really want to stay, bound to these mortals? Or would you rather fly free? It's only natural for you to want this."
Should I feel like I do?
I don't know what to do? Danny thought morosely. Should I go? Should I stay? He's right about Sam. I can't have children with her. It wouldn't be right for me to force them to do the same thing I do. It's right about my family too. I shouldn't put them in danger. That's not right. It's wrong about Tucker though. He cares about me. He's my friend. He's risked his life multiple times for me.
Should I lock the last open door?
"Join us, Phantom. The ghost zone is your true home."
Phantom walked towards the portal and reached out his hand…
…
…
…
And closed the door to the portal. The green light vanished as did the voice. Phantom wrapped his arms around himself and started shaking.
My ghosts are gaining on me.