Harry Potter and the Chamber of Wild Simians who went on a Rampage and Died
Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! I actually got an idea for a good story!!!! It's one
that everyone else is doing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A parody of book two without
bothering to do a parody on number one!!!!!!! =) =O = ( =D
Chapter One: The Worst Day to Sell a Bunch of Drills
Dudley: Baaaaacon.^.^
Petunia: Grow fatter, love, grow fatter and we will stick you in a pot to
boil.
Dudley: Baaaaacon.^.^
Vernon: *ignoring sloppy eating noises coming from the pig- oops, I meant
Dudley, heh heh* Now, as we all know, today is a very important day.
Harry: GASP!!!
Vernon: This is the day that Harry turns twelve!
Harry: But- don't you know? Today is when you make that big drill deal!
Vernon: Ahh, screw that. Wait- I'm British, aren't I? Okay. *hem hem* Ahh,
to chicken land with it. I think we should go through the schedule one more
time. Petunia, you will be-?
Petunia: Adorning the kitchen with pretty decorations I got at only half-
price from Party Supplies Plus! *turns to camera and winks* ^,~
Vernon: Ahh... kay. And Dudley?
Dudley: Calling Don Measley and Harmony Langer and all of Harry's sweet
little friends. ^.^
Harry: .
Vernon: And. *menacingly* Birthday Boy?
Harry: *bored* I'll be sitting at the table, surrounded by gifts and being
the life of the party.
Vernon: *preppy* Like, totally!!! *giggle* ^,~You have, like, sooooooo got
it! *giggle* ^,~ H! *clap clap clap clap* A! *clap clap clap clap* R!
*clap* R! *clap* Y! *clap* HARRY!!! *giggle* ^,~
Dudley: 0.0
Vernon: I'll lead the guests in and pour some drinks-
Harry: GASP!!! Alcohol? Kewl. ;]
Vernon: Some apple juice or chocolate milk should do.
Harry: &@*^!!! :(
Vernon: And at eight-fifteen-
Petunia: I'll announce presents!!!
Vernon: And Dudley, you'll-
Dudley: I will be you personal waiter this evening! Cake? ^.^
Petunia: *major New York accent* Ah, shut yer trap, ya load o' bat crap.
Dudley: :'(
Vernon: Yes, yes, and Harry?
Harry: *bored* I'll be sitting at the table, surrounded by gifts and being
the life of the party.
Vernon: Like, hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha *big big
breath* hahahahahahahahahaha!!! ^,~ Like, totally!!!!! ^,~ Major!!! ^,~
*giggle*
*Later*
Harry: Happy Drill Day to meee. Happy Drill Day to meee. *contemplates
life*
*sees freaky green eyes in hedge*
Harry: Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!!! *girly*
*Fat Dudley enters the scene*
Dudley: I know what day it is.^.^
Harry: The Great Humberto Marathon?
Dudley: *cough* Nooo.^.^
Harry: Hmmm.. Ooh! The new Larry Dotter movie comes out!
Dudley: No! ^.^
Harry: *still clueless* I give up. What is it?
Dudley: Today's Dad's drill deal. Why are you so depressed? ^.^
Harry: I dunno. I just need room to run. and play. and stuff.
Dudley: *beginning to slightly dance* Young man, there's no need to feel
down, I said, young man, pick yourself off the ground.^.^
Harry: *hopeful eyes*
Dudley: I said, young man, 'cause you're in a new town, there's no need to
be unhappy.
Young man, there's a place you can go, I said, young man, when you're short
on your dough, you can, stay there, and I'm sure you will find, many ways
to have a good time.
*Five little techno sounds erupt from no where* It's fun to stay at the
Y.M.C.A., It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A-aa.^.^
Harry: *grinning* really???
Dudley: Umm. what's the next line? Hmm..^.^ *walks off*
Harry: *dejected*
*Later, at party*
Vernon: Harry, we are truly sorry. None of your sweet little charming- wait-
literally CHARMing friends could come.
Harry: -_-` And?
Vernon: All the more cake for you!!!
Harry: *sigh* Well, by chance, I seem to be sensing a subconscious notion
that a supernatural butler who speaks in third person grammar will be
concealed in this delectable entree, so could you please remove yourselves
from the facility while I sever the frosting-coated pastry?
*all three stay*
Harry: *ticked* Leave.
Vernon: Oooh!!! Right!
*they leave*
Harry: *severs frosting-coated delectable entrée*
Supernatural Butler who Speaks in Third Person: Ola, senor!
Harry: GASP!!!
OoO0OoO0OoO0OoO0OoO0OoO0OoO0OoO0OoO0OoO0OoO0OoO0OoO0OoO0O
Dun-dun dun!!!
Who is this Spanish supernatural butler? Will the drills ever be sold??
Will Luna mysteriously appear in book TWO???
Find out in the next chapter: Dobby's Greeting!!!
Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! I actually got an idea for a good story!!!! It's one
that everyone else is doing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A parody of book two without
bothering to do a parody on number one!!!!!!! =) =O = ( =D
Chapter One: The Worst Day to Sell a Bunch of Drills
Dudley: Baaaaacon.^.^
Petunia: Grow fatter, love, grow fatter and we will stick you in a pot to
boil.
Dudley: Baaaaacon.^.^
Vernon: *ignoring sloppy eating noises coming from the pig- oops, I meant
Dudley, heh heh* Now, as we all know, today is a very important day.
Harry: GASP!!!
Vernon: This is the day that Harry turns twelve!
Harry: But- don't you know? Today is when you make that big drill deal!
Vernon: Ahh, screw that. Wait- I'm British, aren't I? Okay. *hem hem* Ahh,
to chicken land with it. I think we should go through the schedule one more
time. Petunia, you will be-?
Petunia: Adorning the kitchen with pretty decorations I got at only half-
price from Party Supplies Plus! *turns to camera and winks* ^,~
Vernon: Ahh... kay. And Dudley?
Dudley: Calling Don Measley and Harmony Langer and all of Harry's sweet
little friends. ^.^
Harry: .
Vernon: And. *menacingly* Birthday Boy?
Harry: *bored* I'll be sitting at the table, surrounded by gifts and being
the life of the party.
Vernon: *preppy* Like, totally!!! *giggle* ^,~You have, like, sooooooo got
it! *giggle* ^,~ H! *clap clap clap clap* A! *clap clap clap clap* R!
*clap* R! *clap* Y! *clap* HARRY!!! *giggle* ^,~
Dudley: 0.0
Vernon: I'll lead the guests in and pour some drinks-
Harry: GASP!!! Alcohol? Kewl. ;]
Vernon: Some apple juice or chocolate milk should do.
Harry: &@*^!!! :(
Vernon: And at eight-fifteen-
Petunia: I'll announce presents!!!
Vernon: And Dudley, you'll-
Dudley: I will be you personal waiter this evening! Cake? ^.^
Petunia: *major New York accent* Ah, shut yer trap, ya load o' bat crap.
Dudley: :'(
Vernon: Yes, yes, and Harry?
Harry: *bored* I'll be sitting at the table, surrounded by gifts and being
the life of the party.
Vernon: Like, hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha *big big
breath* hahahahahahahahahaha!!! ^,~ Like, totally!!!!! ^,~ Major!!! ^,~
*giggle*
*Later*
Harry: Happy Drill Day to meee. Happy Drill Day to meee. *contemplates
life*
*sees freaky green eyes in hedge*
Harry: Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!!! *girly*
*Fat Dudley enters the scene*
Dudley: I know what day it is.^.^
Harry: The Great Humberto Marathon?
Dudley: *cough* Nooo.^.^
Harry: Hmmm.. Ooh! The new Larry Dotter movie comes out!
Dudley: No! ^.^
Harry: *still clueless* I give up. What is it?
Dudley: Today's Dad's drill deal. Why are you so depressed? ^.^
Harry: I dunno. I just need room to run. and play. and stuff.
Dudley: *beginning to slightly dance* Young man, there's no need to feel
down, I said, young man, pick yourself off the ground.^.^
Harry: *hopeful eyes*
Dudley: I said, young man, 'cause you're in a new town, there's no need to
be unhappy.
Young man, there's a place you can go, I said, young man, when you're short
on your dough, you can, stay there, and I'm sure you will find, many ways
to have a good time.
*Five little techno sounds erupt from no where* It's fun to stay at the
Y.M.C.A., It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A-aa.^.^
Harry: *grinning* really???
Dudley: Umm. what's the next line? Hmm..^.^ *walks off*
Harry: *dejected*
*Later, at party*
Vernon: Harry, we are truly sorry. None of your sweet little charming- wait-
literally CHARMing friends could come.
Harry: -_-` And?
Vernon: All the more cake for you!!!
Harry: *sigh* Well, by chance, I seem to be sensing a subconscious notion
that a supernatural butler who speaks in third person grammar will be
concealed in this delectable entree, so could you please remove yourselves
from the facility while I sever the frosting-coated pastry?
*all three stay*
Harry: *ticked* Leave.
Vernon: Oooh!!! Right!
*they leave*
Harry: *severs frosting-coated delectable entrée*
Supernatural Butler who Speaks in Third Person: Ola, senor!
Harry: GASP!!!
OoO0OoO0OoO0OoO0OoO0OoO0OoO0OoO0OoO0OoO0OoO0OoO0OoO0OoO0O
Dun-dun dun!!!
Who is this Spanish supernatural butler? Will the drills ever be sold??
Will Luna mysteriously appear in book TWO???
Find out in the next chapter: Dobby's Greeting!!!