SEEING RED-
By NellySama
A/N: Mmmmm My third Naruto Fic. Set Before the death of the Uchiha clan. This is a ONESHOT. DEATH Cookie! Meaning… ONE CHAPTER. Nothing more. D Mkay, got it? Good. This fic is funny in its own special way. It gets serious, but on the comedic side, I hope.
Warnings: my odd sense of humor. I love torturing the uchihas.
BEGIN ONE SHOT-
The eldest Uchiha woke up with the early dawn. Everyone else was still asleep, as he padded down the hallway and out the door, eyes closed, then onto the road. Itachi had an early ANBU mission today, but he was really tired from all of this weeks work. He sighed and opened his eyes and
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGHHHH!!!"
He fainted as birds flew frightened from their trees. Since he wasn't far from the house, little Sasuke heard the scream and bolted out the door and spotted Itachi laying K.O-ed on the road.
"Itachi! Itachi!" He ran over to his older brother and began shaking him. He shook him so hard that if Itachi was a baby, he would have had shaken baby syndrome.
Since the infamous Uchiha was fainted…he was currently in La-La Land with all the happy little pink bunnies.
----La-La Land----
Itachi looked around and spotted an adorable creature in front of him. "Meh?! What….OH my god! It's a pink bunny! Squee! I want to cuddle you! C'mere little pink bunny!"
The bunny stared at him like he was a mad man ( which is true ) and quickly hopped away. Angered, Itachi followed him and stopped running when he noticed something…
Everything looked red..He felt his face to make sure he wasn't wearing sunglasses. He wasn't. 'Oh No! It's happening here too!' He fell to his knees crying, but stoped and fell over when a massive earthquake shook the ground and a giant Sasuke appeared in the sky.
"Sasuke! What..why are you so HUGE?! GET OUT OF MY LA-LA LAND!! OUT!!"
The huge looming Sasuke grinned evilly at Itachi and vanished with a loud pop. Thinking it was safe, Itachi looked around…everything was still red, but it was fading.
"What the hell?!"
----La-La Land Go Bye Bye---
Itachi sat up with a start, arms flailing wildy sending Sasuke flying across the road and into a tree. Itachi blinked several times, trying to get red of the red in his eyes, but it wouldn't go away! 'Curses!'
"Itachi! Why are you…HEY! You're eyes are different!" Sasuke had recovered rather quickly from his impact with the tree.
Itachi glared.
"Of course they are!" He paused. "..But, everything is red." He turned to his little brother, picked him up and ran quickly back into the house.
"OI! Why did you take me back inside?"
Sasuke didn't want to go back inside. He wanted to stay outside, but nooo. Itachi stopped as he headed back outside and looked at his brother.
"You want to know?"
"Yeah."
"You REALLY want to know?"
"Yeah!"
"I'm dead sexy, my vision has turned red, and the only way to fix that is to kill everyone."
"Everyone?"
"Everyone."
"Well shit!"
"SASUKE!" Itachi stepped back inside and smacked his sibling on the side of the head. "Where the fuck did your learn to speak like that?!"
He smiled happily, he was filled to the brim with knowledge! "Sometimes at night, I hear mommy and daddy making weird noises and swear words! And once I went to see what was wrong 'cuz it sounded like mommy was crying! And I opened the door and they were wrestling!!"
"Oh..er.. really?" Itachi grimaced. Ew. Mental Image of parental units having sex. I'm going to have to kill them. Awesome.
"Hey! Can we wrestle sometime! Like mommy and daddy were! They looked like they were having fun!"
A long pause entered the room as Itachi vanished into fantasy land…
"GAH!! NO SASUKE! SHUTUP AND GO TO BED!! I-I-I HAVE TO LEAVE!" Itachi bolted out of the house as quickly as possibly. He covered his nose bleed and screamed at the erotic mental images in his mind to go away. Far far away. 'That will wait until he's older….'
"Now to deal with this eye problem…heh…heh hehhehehehe…" He began laughing uncontrollably. He ran into the village, laughing insanely scaring everyone is his path. He jumped to the top of a pole and called out to the people of the village.
He spread his arms wide as the people crowded confusedly below. Itachi peered at him through his red-eyed vision.
"My dear people, I have obtained Magenkyo. For that you shall die! AHAHAHA..HA..HAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!"
A stupid village called back to him. "Uchiha Itachi! What are you talking about?!"
THRUSCK. That villager was dead now. Yay.
"Yeah! See what happens when you talk back to an Uchiha?! BWAHAHAHHAHAA! I should explain right? Yeah…" he began muttering to himself." Alright. Today I woke up, and my vision was red. To put it short, I saw a bunny, super huge Sasuke, 'wrestling', and Uchicest! I'm insane now. You all might die!!"
And so, as the day went on, the Uchiha had such a fine time slaughtering everyone in the village, all except Sasuke who decided to take a nap..
The end….
Review. Tell me what you think of this crack fic?