Title: Everything and Nothing
Author: Shadow's Echo (also known as Cindy from CindyandSandy)
Rating: PG-13 (or whatever the rating is now)
Disclaimer: I don't own the X-files or anything. I do own any character's not on the X-files and the plot, so if you want to use any of that, you better be askin' first.
Chapter 1 – Loneliness is only Temporary
It's not possible to be perfect. Perfection is always out of reach. Some get the urge to reach out to it. To touch it. Then to make it their's. So they grasp it, and try to hold it close, bring it in. But it fights back. It always does. It's stronger than them. It's stronger than anything. It's perfect.
Fox Mulder sat on his couch, amidst all his junk, surrounded by loneliness. Christmas had always been that way. He had no one, nothing. Nothing but himself. And every Christmas, he became a suicidal wreck. He would never let it out, never tell anyone, and he would probably never act on it, but it was there, lurking, every year.
He had lost all family to death, all friends to the x-files. Forgotten them like the old milk in the back of his fridge. He only had those that he had mutual agreements with. Those whom the x-files mattered to. The Lone Gunmen and Scully. And at Christmas, that didn't matter. They had places to be, people to spend time with, while he sat alone and reveled in his shallow, pitiful sorrow.
He longed for companionship. Sometimes it seemed anyone would do, but he only wanted one person, and she didn't want him. He knew it, he didn't need the proof. He didn't want it. If he didn't know how she felt now, it was fine with him. He could still dream then. And, of course, then there was always hope.
He was startled by a knock on his door, which was rather unexpected on a cold Christmas night. There was a blizzard outside and someone working that hard to visit him would be rather odd. He opened the door to see a younger woman, probably in her twenties, and a little girl. The woman smiled and looked into his eyes. Her eyes flashed a beautiful deep blue, like the ocean, and the little girl's reflected the same. Her clothes were a little tattered, probably from a second-hand shop, and her hair was messed from the blowing wind. She wore no hat, which seemed strange to Mulder considering it was far below freezing outside.
"I'm sorry to trouble you on Christmas night," she said, glancing inside, "but I have nowhere to stay. We've tried the first floor and no one answered. A little old lady answered on this floor, but turned us down. I need help, just for the night, just one night. Please?" She licked her lips in anticipation of a yes. He looked at the little girl and she looked away. He smiled.
"What is your name?" She looked at him questioningly. He realized that was a strange question to ask right away.
"Catrina, and this is little Elizabeth." She put her hand on the little girls back and pulled her close. Elizabeth buried her frostbitten face into her mother's side. He jutted out his hand awkwardly.
"I'm Fox." She took his hand in hers. Her hand was cold; she hadn't adjusted to the warmth inside yet. They shook hands and smiled. His smile faded as he realized he had nothing to offer them. He only had his couch to sleep on, one blanket to curl up in, and very little food. He had to help them though. He was an FBI agent. He couldn't let a little girl and her mother go back out into the blizzard. "Is there some place you can go? Is there a shelter I can bring you to?"
Catrina immediately frowned. "We've tried every shelter in town. There's only so much they can handle, especially on Christmas Eve. They didn't even have food for us; they turned us away at the door. Besides I've heard of children being kidnapped from them, women being raped. No one does anything. We're safer out in the cold." The little girl peeked out from her mother's side and quickly glanced at Mulder. He nodded.
"Come on in. We'll make do until I can find somewhere safe and warm for you to go." He held the door open for them while they slipped inside. The little girl eyed the fish tank, but wouldn't leave her mother's side. Mulder bent down beside her. "Would you like to see them?" She nodded and he led her over to the fish tank. She reluctantly let go of her mother's hand and followed.
"So, you are here all alone? On Christmas Eve?" Catrina asked as she removed her coat and hung it on the coat hanger. "Don't you have any family to visit?"
"No, I…um…They've all passed on." He sat down on the couch and motioned for her to do the same.
"Oh, I'm sorry."
"That's alright." They sat there in awkward silence for a while as Elizabeth marveled at the fish. He knew there was no reason for him to go on pretending. "Look, all I've got here to sleep on is this couch and I've got no food in the fridge and—"
"All we ask for is a place to stay. I didn't ask for a place to sleep or anything to eat. We already appreciate all you've done more than words can say." She gave him a warm smile. Elizabeth ran up to her mother and snuggled into her side again. She hadn't said a word yet and Mulder wondered if she could even talk.
"I just wish I could do more." He went to his kitchen and only found some cookies that Maggie had sent him for Christmas. He offered them to Catrina and she graciously accepted them. "Why don't you two get comfortable and sleep out here on the couch. You can use this blanket and I'll…I'll just hang out in the kitchen for a while. Alright?"
"Thank you, Fox." She smiled once more and laid down with little Elizabeth on the couch. He went to the kitchen, sat down at the table, laid his head in hands, and tried to figure out what to do next. Before he knew it he had fallen asleep.
A/N: As I said, I don't know where this is going. I just wanted to write a story. I hope to finish it someday; I usually get dedicated readers who are willing to wait for my story to be finished. I'm sure I'll have plenty of time. I ask that you review, but you really don't have to. Reviews are ALWAYS appreciated, as is constructive criticism.