A/N: haha, hello first fanfic ! also I used this to basically play around with things I don't ship, which is basically JadeFef, SolKat, and EriNep. I don't have anything against the ships, I just don't ship them
Anyway like I said, this is my first fanfic. Concrit would be lovely!
p.s. also I'm looking for a name for this? If anyone has any sort of suggestions, that would be lovely
Your name is John Egbert and—pffhahaha, is Karkat wearing suspenders?
It soon becomes apparent that the angry ginger spitfire was, in fact, wearing suspenders. His pants were pulled up a little too high and were made of, oh god, tweed? His white dress shirt was tucked into them, and they were held up by a pair of bright red suspenders.
You try to keep a straight face as you approach him, but one look from him and you're practically on the ground, you are just laughing that hard.
"Karkat," you manage to choke out, "golly do you look dashing!"
"You know what, you can wrap your shit swallowing mouth around the unforgiving dick of the gods' while it continually pisses down your throat for all I care."
You hear clicks from behind you, disapproving "tch" kind of noises. An arm winds its way around your shoulders.
"Careful what'chya say, Vantas," Dave deadpanned, putting on this fake Southern accent, one not too different from his slight Texan drawl. "Papa might take ya out back with his belt again."
"What the fuck are you even talking about you assholes? Stop acting like the inebriated shitstains that you are and start attempting to make a single iota of sense. I'm not some sweet little Southern Belle caught playing in her mother's fucking makeup. No one is smacking my fruity rump with a goddamn belt."
"Inebriated? We aren't drunk, Karkat! We just know how to have a better time than you!" You stick your tongue out at your friend, who bears his teeth at you in what you guess must have been a warning. You knew Karkat too well to be frightened by him, and anyways he was inches shorter than you, making him like the least intimidating person ever.
"Careful who you're growling at, this here is my date," Dave said, squeezing his arm tighter around your shoulders. You didn't mind, you even giggled. You and Dave decided that since there were no girls you wanted to take, you would go with each other on the best bro-date to ever grace history.
"Oh, so have you given up pretending that you aren't completely in love with each other? Please excuse me so I can go violently empty my stomach of my dinner while you two make incredibly homoerotic faces at each other." Karkat's voice was loud and more than a little obnoxious, sort of growly in a completely not scary at all way.
Your face gets a little hot and you Not Smoothly At All Curse Your Clumsiness step away from Dave's arm. "Gosh not at all, Karkat! We're here on a strictly bro-date. This date is strictly for being bros with each other. Strictly." You pause and cock your head to the side. "And you're the one with a boyfriend!"
Karkat let loose this weird snarl. "I see you feel the need to announce it to the entire fucking world again. But unlike you two closet-dwellers, I'm open about my relationship."
You roll your eyes at Karkat but he continues to blab about his relationship and blah blah you aren't even really listening.
John: Be the one with a wounded heart.
Wounded heart? What would make someone think that your heart of steel was wounded? Fuck that noise. Your name is Dave Strider and your heart is not wounded, no way Jose.
Although you cannot deny that there was a tiny little pang, a really, really tiny pang, in your heart when Egbert stepped away from you.
Fuck. Not like you had feelings for that derpy buck-toothed goofball. Except you didn't really have a problem with his teeth. If it wasn't so lame, you would even say they were pretty goddamn adorable. And derpy wasn't the right word to describe him, he wasn't derpy. He was… happy. He was happy all the fucking time and it really miffed you. Where did he find it inside himself to always be cheerful?
Instead of listen to Vantas blather on, as he tended to, you risked a glance around the gymnasium you were in. It had some of the shittiest streamers you had ever seen hung from the ceiling, and there were hearts on the walls. The Valentine's Day dance, always special to couples in high school. Of course, if you weren't with someone, it was a commercialized, pointless holiday and the dance was the frosting on the cake. You think that of your group of friends, you and Egbert and maybe one or two other guys were the only single ones. Ouch.
But your problem is that you could be with someone. You could approach a girl or guy or hermaphrodite or whoever the hell's mcnuggies you were craving, and ask them out on a date. You were attractive (extremely so) and charming. You actually think that whatever god wielded the Stick of Irresistible Charm had decided that he was going to hit you with the Charm Stick so hard that you wouldn't be able to walk for months (which explains why you couldn't walk instantly after being born).
You could be with anyone, but no. The twisted sense of humor of the powerful entities above had made you fall for your best bro. And fuck if it wasn't seriously the most painful love there was. Your homeskillet was straighter than a fucking arrow, constantly reminding you that he "was not a homosexual" or something. Also you think he's perhaps asexual. You mean, he's never with a girl. What could that be about aside from he just found every single person unattractive? Even you, which must be pretty damn hard because you are actually the hottest piece of ass to walk the earth.
And then there was knowing he would never feel the same. Knowing that it didn't matter how much you loved, he would never love you back. Knowing that it was a useless struggle, but it wasn't fucking useless, not if you felt like this. You knew that no matter how straight he was, how little of a chance you had with him, you would never stop fighting for him, never let that last little hope dwindle away.
And you hated it. It made your blood boil knowing you were stuck. You had reached the boss but you weren't strong enough to fight him. It was like getting a video game and playing it all the way through and not knowing how to finish the level.
God, you need to stop rambling about your feelings.
Dave: be the fiery asshole.
Asshole? Who the fuck is it in this scenario that is an asshole? Certainly not you. No, why would any nookwhiffer call you an asshole? Not one with any sort of bra—shit is that Sol?
You learn that it is, in fact, your Sollux. Not like there were any other Solluxs. God, fuck this. It's your boyfriend, Sollux. And you'll be damned if he isn't the hottest one in the gymnasium. He's wearing his glasses on the end of his nose, and you wonder how he's even seeing wearing them like that. He probably can't see, but thinks he looks cool. You're secretly happy to see that he did wear a suit for the dance (unlike you, but your outfit was due to your insufferable mother) and it fit him nicely and hugged him in all the right places.
He doesn't even look around for you, he just walks right towards you and the two idiotic numbskulls you call friends. He places his arm around your waist and squeezes a little, and you can feel the tips of your ears turn candy apple red.
"Sup," Strider says, and you glower at him because of all your friends he makes your blood flame the most. He takes pleasure in firing you up by taunting you and goading you into pointless arguments.
"Hey, Dave," your man says, and you roll your eyes as they bump fists. Typical coolkids. "Whath up?"
"Nothing much. And I don't mean nothing much as in stuff has happened but it isn't worth recounting, but I mean that literally nothing is happening here. This school sure knows how to throw a fucking party. I'm going to go get some juice. You want anything, Egbert?"
"Nope!" John says, and he talks a little bit too fast and you know something is making him uncomfortable. You let it slide, because you figure it must be his suit, which looks starchy and rigid. It's a terrible light blue, with long tails at the end, and his undershirt his so stiff that one of the creases could poke an eye out.
"Well, we'll jutht have to make our own party, right guyth?" Sollux is awarded by silence. You honestly do not care for this dance, and you only came because A.) Sollux is here, B.) he paid for your ticket, and C.) you get the chance to make fun of John and Dave for not admitting that they like each other.
And they do like each other, it's fucking obvious. You don't think John realizes, but he always acts happier when Dave is around, has more energy and a better attitude. Strider, on the other hand, you believe is completely infatuated with Egbert and knows this. You see him watching John when he thinks no one is looking, and smiling. John is the only one that really makes him smile.
Shit, you need to stop. You're talking your life and turning it into some romcom, and you'll be damned if that wasn't weird. You leave your thoughts and turn to Sollux, striking up a conversation about the god awful decorations.
Karkat: be the heartbroken teenager.
You are now the heartbroken teenager. Currently you are sittin' on the toilet in the boy's restroom, sobbin' your glubbin' eyes out. Your name is Eridan Ampora and why can't someone love you, just once?
You came to this stupid dance without a date, hoping maybe your best friend Fef might come to her senses and finally realize that you are the cream of the crop at this school and she may as well fall in love with you already.
But why would that happen? Why would somefin work out for you? Instead of fallin' for you, she came to the dance with a date. How fuckin' preposterous!
Not one to be turned down, you approached her while she was dancing with said date, a girl named Jade. You tapped Fef on the shoulder and asked her for a dance. And what did she say? She said, "Eridan, I know you don't want to hear this, but I'm not interested in you. I know that you have feelings for me, and I suggest you get over them soon. I'm with Jade. I'm happy. Don't you want me to be happy?"
And you had said, "Of course I w-want you to be happy. W-what sort of glubbin' question is that? I just think it w-would be much smarter of you, Fef, if you w-were happy w-with me." You smile at her, and then (quite fuckin' reluctantly) at Jade, who looks as a comfortable as a fish in the desert.
"Eridan, that's a little shellfish of you," Fef says. "Not everyfin can work out for you. I'm sorry, but please leave me alone." She turned around like everyfin was said and done, which it certainly was not. You felt your eyes begin to get prickly, but you were not going to cry. Not yet, anyway.
"But Fef, don't you lov-ve me?" you ask. And what does she say? What does she say?
"I love you, Eridan, surely you know I do. But not like that. Now, please, leave me alone!"
Then you made your way to the restroom and to your current situation. You weren't really sobbin'. You were just crying quite a fuckin' bit, which is to be expected. The love of your life just turned you down for another woman. Fuck, not for another woman, you aren't a woman, but for a person that isn't you.
"Now-w, I appreciate you being concerned for me, but could you lend a guy some glubbin' privacy?" Oh, you want me to leave? Oh, okay.
Eridan: be the shippy cat girl.
Shippy cat girl? Well that certainly sounds like you! Your name is Nepeta Leijon, and gosh do you love to ship things!
You currently have your notepad sitting on your legs, your marker in your hand as you crossed out a picture of your furrends Eridan and Feferi with a heart between them. Another sunken ship. You have a short meowment of silence, beclaws it's sad whenever a ship sinks! You end the silent meowment and scribble a picture of Feferi and her new furrend Jade. You must admit that they really do look cute together. They both have kind of messy long hair, though Jade's was black and Feferi's was light caramel-y brown.
You paws and think about Mr. Gloomygills. You last saw him stalking towards the bathroom, and he sure did look sadder than a cat taking a bath. Maybe you should go check on him! That is what furrends do, right?
You put your notebook against the wall and hightail it to the restroom. You stand outside of the door, listening. You can kind of hear deep breaths and what sounds like a pawful lot of crying.
"Ampurra?" you call.
"Nep? W-what the fuck do you w-want?" Eridan sounds really sad! Gosh, maybe you can cheer him up.
"Are you pawlright? Can I come in? Or can you come out?" you ask, and your voice sounds a little hopeful, though you don't know why.
You hear a little shuffling around, and then Eridan is opening the door, and his eyes are red and the purple streak in his hair is a little disheveled and droopy. You smile, thinking purrhaps it will make him happier.
"W-what do you need?" he asks, and he sounds really sad.
"To see if you were pawlright! Don't be such a prissy paws."
"I am not a prissy paw-s!" he insists. You grin.
"Come on, Ampurra, let's go have some fun."
"And do w-what? All there is to do is dance."
"Then we'll dance! It'll be pawsome, you'll see." You grab his hand and drag him to the middle of the gym. After you teach him how to wave his tail around and have a good time, he starts to smirk a little. When you teach him how to do a cat dance, he smiles. And as he's teaching you how to do his special dance (you just hold your nose and slowly crouch down while moving side to side, like you're going under the water) he's grinning. Missing accomplished!
Nepeta: be the confused boy.
You are now John Egbert, a very confused boy.
First, your sister Jade was dancing with Feferi, the cheerleading captain. You didn't know Jade liked girls!
Second, you see your friend Nepeta dancing with Eridan Ampora, a huge asshole. What was that all about? From what you've heard, Eridan is obsessed with Feferi.
Finally, you're confused about your own feelings. Feelings about Dave in particular. He made you feel… different. You think it was a good different, though. No, it was definitely a good different.
He made your insides feel tingly and a little fluttery, like your stomach would suddenly burst. And he made you feel better, sometimes better as in happier, and sometimes better about yourself. You could just be plain old John when it was just you and Dave. You didn't have to pretend about anything, you could tell him the truth and he would still like you. And who wouldn't want that?
But you never thought of yourself as a homosexual. You had always just assumed that you were meant to be with a girl. And there were girls that liked you, like Vriska Serket, and you could be in a relationship with any of them.
But it didn't feel right. For some reason you don't think being with any of the girls you know that like you would make you happy. You're much happier just hanging around with your friends, Dave in particular.
You look up from your feet when you notice Sollux and Kar walking away from you. A slow song started playing and they, like most other couples, were migrating to the dance floor. You notice that Eridan has his hands awkwardly on Nepeta's waist, and she has her arms around his neck. Her head is on his chest and she looks perfectly (purrfectly, hehe) happy. Good for them, you think. You like It when your friends are happy!
You feel a tap and your shoulder and whirl around, feeling more than a little cool as you do so. Dave is standing there with an eyebrow raised.
"So, Princess, you wanna dance or what?" he asks, acting all nonchalant,
"Ask me nicer and maybe," you say, crossing your arms.
Dave sighs like you're a huge thorn in his side. "Egbert, milady, would you please join me in this dance?"
"Yeah, I think that'd be fine," you say, and you grab his arm and he walks you to the floor. You laugh at him when he gets uncomfortable, not knowing how to hold you. You guide his hands to your waist, and put your own arms around his neck. You put your chin on his shoulder and sigh a little.
You don't think you would be this comfortable if you were dancing with someone like Vriska Serket (in fact, you see her and your blind friend Terezi dancing, and they look ready to bite each other's heads off). But you aren't dancing with her, or any other girl. You're dancing with Dave, and it feels perfect.
A/N: shit I'm sorry I'm so bad at endings. Anyway, that's it. I hope everyone liked it and yaddyaddyyadda Noir needs to stop talking