Disclaimer: This show. This unholy abomination of a show does not belong to me. Actually it's quite lovely.

A/N: Takes place the night of 'Rex Dies'. So yeah.

It seems like most things are designed to annoy me. Or maybe everything has terrible timing, and I'm just easily vexed. Either way, my phone starts ringing just as I'm about to fall asleep, my body starting to relax and get heavy. I crack open an eye, groaning and swatting my arm out to the bedside table and scrabbling for the vibrating phone. The back of my hand bumps against a jar, the contents sloshing, and I frown, opening my other eye and sitting up, a smile flitting across my lips when I see. Oh, right, that guy's fatty lump. I forgot I brought it home with me. I pick it up in my other hand as I glance at my phone. Huh, Cat's mom. I hit the answer key, shaking the jar in front of me as I bring the phone to my ear. "Hey."

It's not the first time Cat's mom has called me. Somehow, Cat's mom is even flightier than her, and the moment Cat doesn't answer her phone, she usually calls me, like I'm Cat's keeper or something.

"Jade honey, have you seen Cat? Is she with you?"

I frown. Actually, I haven't seen Cat since I told her to go make friends with the receptionist. I guess I just figured she got bored and went home. Or went and pestered some patients. "Uh... yeah, she is..." She's obviously not home, and I'm not about to tell her mother the last time I saw Cat was at the hospital. As soon as she hears the word 'hospital' she'll jump to conclusions and babble in my ear, and the lady has a shrill voice. She's paranoid about Cat, which is justified I guess, seeing as Cat thinks everyone is harmless. I honestly think that if someone said they had candy in their van, Cat would follow them without a second thought.

"Can you put her on?"

I stop swishing the jar. "Uh... she's in the bathroom right now... we were just watching a movie... I'll drop her home soon, okay?"

Her mother sighs loudly into the phone, and I wince. "Cat's lucky to have a friend like you Jade. You take such good care of my baby."

I chew my lip. "...Yeah... Thanks Mrs. Valentine. I've... gotta go. Bye." I hang up, lowering the phone. Okay... maybe I feel a little guilty now. I set the jar back on the bedside table with a sigh. Fuck. Sometimes I get sick of being the one who has to look after Cat... isn't that what Tori does now? I snort to myself, crossing to my closet and pulling out a hoodie. Since when has Tori ever helped a situation? I zip the black hoodie up over my tank top, moving to where a pair of jeans are pooled on my floor and stepping into them, shimmying the denim over my underwear and buttoning them. I grab my handbag off my paisley armchair, checking to see if my keys are still in it. They are.

Cat had better be in trouble, I think darkly as I hastily apply eyeliner in the bathroom. I guess the best place to start is the hospital. Well, at least if she's hurt, she doesn't have far to go. Not that I think anything's happened to her. I mean, if something had, they would've called her mom, which they obviously haven't. I try Cat's phone before I leave, dialling her number and pressing the phone to my ear. It doesn't even ring, just goes straight to Cat's overly cheery voice telling me to leave a message. I end the call, tapping my foot on the tiles, my reflection staring back at me impatiently. There's a chance she's with Tori, but if she's not, that means I have to talk to Tori for nothing, and she'll probably want to come along. It's not worth the risk.

I don't bother waking my parents up when I leave. The less people I have to deal with, the better. Instead I unlock my car, tossing my handbag into the passenger seat and turning the key in the ignition, the engine catching with a growl. I reverse less than cautiously. If somebody's cat is stupid enough to get anywhere near my car, then they deserve whatever they get.

Honestly, I'm not even sure how Cat and I became friends. It was so long ago, I don't even remember. I know that if I met her now, we wouldn't be friends. I hold a lot of contempt for people like her, but... I don't for Cat. In fact... it's the opposite. I frown, changing the radio station. Pop. That's Cat's thing. Ugh.

It's hard to hate Cat, not that I've really tried to. She does bug me, but then... everyone does. I guess Cat's the closest friend I have, and I'm not even sure how it happened. But she must be, because I know I wouldn't be out driving to the hospital at night if it was Tori in there, or Robbie, or Andre. She's just... easy to be around. She's my complete opposite, but... I don't know, something draws us together. Cat needs someone to take care of her, and most of the time, it's me. I'm used to it now, and for the most part, I don't mind. I pull into the car park of the hospital, scanning the dark lot for a space. I chew my lip... sometimes, like today, I get sick of having to babysit her, of having to put up with her dreamy attitude, but if she went off and got in trouble because of me snapping at her... well, I don't think her mom would think I'm such a good friend then. I wouldn't either. I don't like thinking like this. I mean, I'm an incredibly negative person, but I don't want thoughts of Cat, hurt because of me, crawling through my head.

The doors to the hospital slide open as I approach them, my eyes adjusting to the cold, bluish-yellow lighting. The smell hits me almost immediately. Part of me likes the smell of hospitals, maybe because everyone else seems to hate it. It smells of chemicals, and just an edge of sickness. I don't know why, it's like that lump I took home... it just appeals to me.

I walk up to the reception desk I sent Cat to earlier, leaning against it until the woman looks up eventually, an annoyed look on her face. "Miss, you'll have to wait like everyone-"

"I'm not here for that." I put up my hand, interrupting her, "I'm looking for a girl. About yay high, red hair, talked about chicken fat, cute as a button?"

A look of understanding crosses her face. "Oh, yes, her. Don't worry, your friend is being taken care of."

I narrow my eyes. "'Taken care of?' Look, can I just see her?"

The woman smiles sympathetically, a look of practised consolation on her face, a spiderweb of wrinkles magnifying the condescension. "I'm sorry, but visiting hours are over for today."

I frown. "I really need to see her, tonight."

The smile on her face grows tighter. "Unless you're family, I can't make any exceptions."

I scan the desk, thinking, my fingernails tapping a tattoo on the counter. She'd never believe I'm family. My eyes alight on a coffee mug, a rainbow emblazoned on it. A small smirk crosses my face. Assuming this means what I think it means... I can use this. "Um... Cat's sort of..." I look around surreptitiously, leaning in closer and lowering my voice. "Cat's my girlfriend." A conflicted look spreads across her face. My guess was right then. I continue, thankful for once that I'm an actress. "I just really need to see her." My voice quivers at the end, and I grin mentally. People are so easy to play. Everyone has a weakness. Except for me. I've made sure there's no chinks in my armour.

The woman purses her lips, face softening. "I'll... I'll see what I can do, honey."

Within a few minutes she's summoned a male nurse to take me to Cat, wishing me luck. I smile back at her, but it's more of a smirk than anything. I trail a step behind the nurse, looking around the sickly lit hallways as we walk through the wards. "So, where are we going, anyway?"

He looks back at me. "Mental ward."

I blink, stopping for a moment. In retrospect, I guess it seems obvious... the first time I met Cat, I thought she was crazy too. I still do, sometimes. But to actually have doctor's think so too? This is ridiculous. We reach another desk, the male nurse nodding to a youngish, Indian doctor in a lab coat behind the desk, who's flicking through a magazine. "Visitor for Valentine."

The doctor looks up. "Visiting hours are over."

The nurse looks back at me before leaning in closer to where the doctor is, his voice low, thumb jerking back at me. The doctor straightens, putting his magazine down and studying me carefully. "So you're Jade, then?"

I raise an eyebrow. "Yeah..."

"Cat's told us a lot about you."

Okay. Cat's been talking about me? I guess it's good things, 'cause they seem to still believe that I'm her girlfriend. Unless they brought me here to throw me in with her. I force a tight smile. "How about that. Can I see her now?"

They share a glance before the doctor nods. "Sure, she's in isolation. Come with me."

Isolation? Man, they must think she's completely insane. Or dangerous. "Hey." I tap the doctor on the shoulder. "Why haven't you rang her parents? Aren't you legally bound or something?"

He shrugs. "She wouldn't tell us anything. Just kept saying you'd be here, and that you'd sort everything out." He chuckles a little, running a hand through his short, black hair. "Frankly, we thought you weren't real. The way she talked about you..." He catches sight of my face. "Uh..." He turns, stopping in front of a closed door. "She's just through here." He punches in a code on a keypad that's attached to the handle, the door beeping. This whole thing is starting to freak me out a little. "Just wave at the camera when you want to come out. I'll be watching." Oh yeah, definitely getting creepy.

I edge past him into the room, my eyes widening. It's padded? Man, they weren't taking any chances with her. I didn't even think they had padded rooms anymore. Cat's huddled in a corner, her head raising as I enter. "Jade?" A grin splits her face and she springs up, rushing over to me. "Jade!" She practically tackles me in a hug, and I'm actually glad the walls are padded, Cat pushing me back forcefully into them.

"Okay... Cat..." I hug her back briefly before letting her go, Cat's arms still around me. I put my hands on her shoulders, trying to pry her off me a little, unsuccessfully. I twist my mouth, shrugging and lowering my arms, Cat's face pressed into my shoulder. She'll wear herself out. Meanwhile, I have one question pressing on my mind. "Cat... what are those things on your hands?" The corners are digging into my sides.

She pulls back, still grinning. "Aren't they great? They stop me hurting myself!" She goes to hit herself in the head, but I catch her wrist, examining the bright red cube.

" Don't hurt yourself Cat. Why are there corners? Wouldn't it make more sense to... never mind." I lower Cat's arm, grabbing hold of her chin and turning her head from side to side, studying her. "You okay?"

Cat giggles. "I'm fine! But..." The smile fades from her face, and she glances from side to side. "Jade... can you scratch my nose?"

I sigh, acquiescing while Cat squeaks, her eyes shut tight. I'm actually relieved. If something had actually happened to her... I'm just... relieved, is all. She's my best friend, after Beck anyway, and I've told her things that I'd never tell Beck. Stupid things... but still. I'm glad she's okay. I glance up at the camera in the corner, pulling Cat aside,my arm around her shoulder. I'm not sure whether it records sound or not, but I'm not taking the chance of them lip reading either. "Okay, I'm gonna get you out of here Cat-" I wait as she lets out a soft 'yay'. "-But I sort of told them I was your girlfriend."

Cat blinks at me, her eyebrows tugging down. "Like...?"

I nod. "Yes. Like."

Cat's eyes flick down to the ground, and she nods. I stare at her for a moment before shaking my head and turning to the camera, waving. I move near the door, crossing my arms, Cat standing beside me and rubbing her cubes together. I hear a beep, grabbing hold of the edge of the door and pulling it open. "She's coming with me, okay?"

The Indian doctor looks at me, stunned. "We can't just-"

"Yes, you can. I can vouch for her. She's not crazy, and I'm pretty sure you need her written consent or that of a parent to lock her up like this." I turn to Cat. "Did you sign anything?"

She shakes her head. "Nuh uh."

I address the doctor again. "Am I right here? You guys wanna get sued? So get these things off her hands, give Cat her clothes back, and we'll forget about this whole thing."

"I should really ask-"

I pull out my phone. "My dad's a lawyer. He can be here in five minutes. You want me to call him?"

The doctor swallows hard, nodding slowly. "I'll... I'll just get the paperwork."

I turn back to Cat, who's clapping her cubes together. "Okay, let's go."

Cat grins. "Jade! You were like a lion!"

Maybe I should leave her in here.

It doesn't take long for the doctor to come back, and I fill out Cat's release forms while she gets dressed. I'm just signing my name when I feel an arm circle around my waist. "Let's go, baby." Cat giggles, and I turn my head slowly to look at her. I probably shouldn't have told her about the plan. I hand the clipboard back to the doctor, breaking away from Cat.

"Yeah, let's go."

I feel a hand tap my shoulder as we reach the car, and I turn impatiently to see Cat looking up at me shyly. "What?" I snap.

"Jade... are you mad at me?" Cat's eyebrows turn up pitifully, hand brushing a lock of ruby hair away from her face.

I sigh. "No... I just..." I pinch the bridge of my nose with my thumb and index finger. "You're okay?"

Cat nods. "Mhm."

"Good. Look, don't do that again, okay? If someone you don't know says to come with them, you don't go, okay?" Cat nods slowly, and I let out an exasperated sigh. "This is important Cat. You could've got hurt, you know. I can't always be here to save you."

Cat twists her mouth, ducking her head. "Why not? You saved me this time. You pretended you were my girlfriend." She smiles at me tentatively, and I shake my head, trying to make her understand.

"But I'm not your girlfriend, Cat. I can't always be the one to do this stuff. I can't always be the one to take care of you." I turn away from her, opening the door to the car and sitting in the driver's seat heavily. "Just... get in."

Cat mutely obeys, cowed. I hate to be the one to say these things to her, but she has to understand. She pulls her seatbelt across sadly, buckling it. "Sometimes I wish you were my girlfriend." She says it so quietly I'm not even sure I hear it, her voice barely a murmur.

I rest my hands on the steering wheel, staring straight ahead, my eyebrows furrowed. "Cat... what did you tell them about me?"

Cat looks over at me, startled. "N-nothing."

I nod, flexing my fingers on the leatherbound wheel. I can see the blush colouring her face out of the corner of my eye. I start the car, Cat jumping as the engine catches, rumbling through the seats. I flick the radio to a pop station, reversing out of the space, my headlights cutting a swathe across the dark lot. Cat keeps glancing over at me, her hands twitching in her lap, making little half-movements until eventually she pulls her phone out of her handbag. "I should call my mom..."

I glance over at her, my hand reaching over and covering the cell phone. "It's okay, I told her you were with me. We watched movies."

"Oh..." I look over again when I feel Cat's other hand toying with my fingers, plucking at them gently. She lets me go reluctantly when I move my hand back to the wheel. "Thanks Jade."

I've upset her, I know. I do it a lot, and it's so easy to do. I don't... it's not that I don't mean to, but it's not like I enjoy hurting her. I just... if I watch my words, I don't end up saying anything. It's impossible to make a point when you have to censor yourself. And I do care about Cat, a lot more than I let on, and maybe I'd show it more if I knew why I cared so much about her. I think of why I'm with Beck, and there are a million reasons, instantly. I think of why I'm friends with Cat, and the only reasons that are there have question marks on the end. I don't know what I feel for her, because I don't know why I feel for her. I don't mind saving her. I don't mind protecting her, but... I'm her friend, it's not right for her friend to do this, and sometimes... I don't feel like Cat's friend.

I pull up outside Cat's house, brakes squeaking a little. I kill the engine, whatever light there was in the car extinguished. I chew my lip, silence fogging the air between us. "...Maybe I can keep saving you." I look over at Cat, my heart starting to thud hard in my chest.

Cat's fingers wriggle over each other nervously in her lap, her eyes running over me. "But you're right. You're not my girlfriend."

I lean over, covering her hands with one of my own, stilling their restless crawling, my face close to hers... closer than it should be. "No. I'm not." I hear Cat's breath catch, and I'm giving her a chance here, and I'm not sure why. I've always known that Cat... well, that Cat's sort of had a thing for me. I've have to be blind not to know. I mean... I've never encouraged it, but I've never put a stop to it either. Why haven't I? Cat's my closest friend... but I think I'm starting to know why now.

Cat's eyes flick over my face, her lower lip wedged between her teeth. "Jade..."

I'm giving her a chance, and for a moment, I think she's not going to take it, that she doesn't realise. I'm not even sure if I want her to take it, but then Cat's breath is hitching, and she's leaning in, her hands trembling under my fingers. My brain is screaming at me to move, that... that I shouldn't be letting her do this, but I don't move back, my eyes flickering shut. And then it's too late, Cat's lips are touching mine, so tentatively, and I wonder what I've done, what I'm continuing to do. Cat leans up into me, her lips pressing to mine harder, and I'm kissing her back, and I know... I know I should be pulling back, shouldn't be doing this, but the same thing that drew me to Cat in the first place, the same thing that makes me take care of her is making me do this, making me stay. It's a weak protest from my mind. It's what's expected, but it doesn't carry any weight, and my heart's beating faster, Cat's lips soft, and so warm, and it's having more effect than it should. It's lighting the same fire that Beck's kiss does, and it shouldn't be.

It shouldn't be the same.

My fingers shouldn't be fumbling with the catch to Cat's seatbelt, pulling her closer, my breath shouldn't be hitching, my lips shouldn't be parting to let Cat's eager tongue in. I shouldn't be liking the taste of her. And suddenly, the lies I told don't seem so false, they seem like truths I just hadn't realised yet, hadn't acknowledged. I've always been so good at doing things I shouldn't do, and I've never seen why I shouldn't do them.

My brain's stuck on repeat, and it's telling me I shouldn't be doing this... but it doesn't feel wrong. It doesn't feel strange to be kissing Cat, to taste her lipgloss, to feel her fingers tremble against my cheek. It doesn't feel strange to run my hand along Cat's thigh, nails skating under the cuff of her shorts. She's my friend, and I've touched practically all of her before, and somehow, this doesn't feel any different. It makes my head spin, and my fingers shake, but it doesn't feel like a big deal, it doesn't feel... it feels right. And touching her... it's almost like touching myself, and if only touching myself made me feel this way. Like a slow burn, crawling through my insides, addling my thoughts, melting them. And things are happening so fast, so quick, and my hands know their way around Cat's body, touching over her and feeling her tremble and jerk in reaction. I can't stand it anymore, this need, this melting is overwhelming me, because if this is what kissing her does, if it lights this in me, what would more do? What would it be like to touch her? It's long overdue, and maybe it's been building ever since I met her, I just never paid any attention to it because it didn't make sense to me. I didn't understand what Cat was to me. And maybe it's too fast, but it's Cat, and I'm impulsive. I want it, and she does too.

My fingers fumble with the catch to Cat's shorts, Cat gasping against my lips as the button gives and I push my hand inside, sliding underneath the waistband of her panties and rubbing. I plant a kiss along Cat's jawline as her eyes flicker shut, her hips bucking into me as I find her clit, fingers working over her. And it was so easy, and everything, everything I'm doing with her has been too easy, too natural. I know Cat, inside and out... I know her even better than I know Beck, because Cat doesn't hide anything from me like Beck does. Cat shows me everything she is, and maybe that's why it's so easy, because I know exactly where I stand, exactly what she's thinking every step of the way.

I move my hand down further, Cat meeting my lips in a soft, trembling kiss that I return, and there's adrenaline fizzing in my veins and shaking in my skin as I ease a finger into Cat gently, my lips moving to touch over Cat's pulse point, her throat thrumming against me as she moans softly. I move it slowly inside of her, feeling how wet Cat is, how hot, and it makes my head spin. I've known every part of Cat at some time or another. We've done plays together, we've shared a dressing room. I've seen every part of her. But I never... I can't understand how easy it is, to move from friend to... to whatever we are now, whatever we're going to become. How something I've seen before, someone I know so well... how it can mean something, how it can affect me, so much. How Cat's lips, that I see everyday, that I'd recognise anywhere, can make me tremble now, make me want to kiss them. Cat's body, that I've held so many times... it makes my heart gallop now, turns my breath to smoke that puffs out of me.

I ease another finger into Cat, pushing slowly, trailing my lips over Cat's jaw as she bites her lip, breath catching. I stroke against her tight walls, my name escaping Cat in a fractured gasp. "J-Jade-"

I've heard her voice a million times, happy, sad, even angry, but never like this. I said Cat's shown me everything of her, but this is one side I'd never known. The one part of her I didn't possess. The most intimate part, and maybe I'm the only one who's ever seen it, who's ever brought it out of her, and the thought tiptoes it's way down my spine with icy fingers, makes me thrust my fingers into Cat harder, despite the uncomfortable angle. I want to draw more of that side out of her, and I capture Cat's lips unsteadily, Cat letting out a muffled moan against my lips, her hips pushing into my hand. And then Cat's panting my name, sending prickles through my skin, and I realise that while Cat doesn't have anywhere near all of me, she has much more than I'd thought. "Cat..." Her name rips itself out of me, and I feel like I need to tell her this, to tell her all these things I'm realising, but now isn't the time, and these are things that should've been said before this happened.

Cat's breathing is growing more ragged, her voice in every quick gasp, and I feel her start to tense, her hands gripping onto me tight, and I bite down hard on my lip, burying my face into the crook of her neck, my fingers working harder. I shudder as I feel her clench around me, Cat whimpering as she climaxes. And then we're both panting, and I pull my hand out of Cat's shorts, my fingers slick with her. This is the moment where it should be awkward, where we should be stumbling over our words and the guilt and shame sets in. But it's not... I don't feel any different, apart from the throbbing, and the pounding of my heart. She's still Cat, and I'm still Jade, there's just more of us now.

I lean back a little, letting out a long breath. Cat's fingers brushing my cheek, turning my face back towards her, a smile on her lips as she kisses me lightly. "Jade..." Her mouth twists, eyes flicking out the window.

I nod. "I know. Go."

I hear the snick of Cat's zipper as she does her pants back up, reaching for her handbag, fingers plucking at it nervously as she glances over at me, reluctant to go. "You wanna know what I told them?" She says finally. "About you, I mean..."

I nod again, not trusting myself to speak.

She smiles softly. "I told them you were Cat too." Cat notices my furrowed eyebrows, elaborating. "And that I was Jade, and that we're both each other. That..." She holds up her hands. "Alone we're two people, but when we're together..." She clasps her hands together, fingers entwining. "We're each other and more. They didn't get it, because they're not you. But... but you get it."

There's hope and an unspoken question in her voice, and I could say I don't understand, that it doesn't make sense, but tonight's shown me that Cat's wormed her way in me, and I'm not the Jade around her that I am around everyone else. I'm Cat and she's Jade. It makes sense.

"I get it."

Cat's smile widens, and she ducks her head, saying a hushed goodnight as she climbs out of the car. My eyes follow her until she disappears before I relax, resting my head back against the headrest of the seat. I run a tongue over my lips, still tasting her, still feeling her on hand, and say in a soft murmur. "I get it."

A/N: Okay. This is what it is.

So please review.

And to those of you on tumblr, who replied to my question: "Fluff or smut?"

THERE YOU GO.

BOTH.

ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?

WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?

MY BLOOD? TAKE MY BLOOD.

Oh, no... shit, no, I need my blood. Give it back.

Okay. Woo. Close.

So yeah, review while I go put this blood back...