Disclaimer: Rumiko Takahashi created Ranma 1/2, and Lewis Caroll created Alice's Adventures In Wonderland. These characters and situations are used without permission.
" thoughts "
Chapter 1: Down The Rabbit-Hole
It was a typical day in Nerima...
"RANMA, YOU PERVERT!"
BAM!
As Ranma went sailing through the air to the outskirts of town, he reflected that this landing was likely going to be quite painful. The ground was rapidly approaching, but there was little he could do about that. It would be just his luck that he was about to land in a large puddle.
SPLASH!
Ranma-chan blacked out for a moment. When she groggily opened her eyes, she noticed a amall street vendor's stand. Behind the shabby cart stood an old man in tattered clothing.
"Well hello there, sonny," the old man said, in spite of Ranma's current appearance. "It looks like you have a bit of a problem."
Ranma-chan groaned and picked herself off the ground. "That uncute tomboy! What'd she have to do that for?! She's always gettin' angry over nuthin'."
"Sonny-boy, I've got something here that'll cheer you right up! Ha, ha, ha, ha!" His brittle voice cracked as he cackled uproariously at his own joke.
"What'cha laughin' about, old man?"
Suddenly, hearing her own high-pitched voice, Ranma-chan glanced down at her body and realized that even though she was in female form, the old man had called her "son."
"Ahh, wouldn't you like to know, boy. I've got a little bottle of something here that will solve all your problems."
"How do you know I'm a boy?" demanded Ranma-chan.
"Well, let's just see now, I think I've got some hot water in the kettle here..." The old man reached behind him and brought forth a kettle steaming with hot water. He poured it over Ranma and watched as she changed back into a he. "Well, it's not every day that you see someone who's been cursed by Jusenkyo, now is it?"
Ranma was beginning to wonder about this strange old man. "How did you know about Jusenkyo?"
"Ah, ah, ah. That's my little secret. Now, are you interested in buying the nannichuan or not?"
"NANNICHUAN! Are you serious? Yes, yes, yes! I'll take it!" exclaimed Ranma excitedly.
"That'll be 10,000 yen."
"Are you kidding?!" Ranma searched desperately through his pockets, but Nabiki had just recently fleeced his store of cash as a result of some unintentionally compromising photos of himself and Ukyo. Pulling out a collection of lint and small coins, he began counting out his change. He muttered out loud, "Jeez. Let's see... I've got...umm...400 plus 250 equals...and then add...ok, that means I have...800 yen. 800 YEN? That's all?"
Completely dejected, he held up his small store of coins to show the old man. Ranma asked him, "There must be somethin' I can do. I...don't suppose...that I could....pay you back later?"
The old man looked at the desperation and obsession apparent on Ranma's face and capitulated. "Well, all right then, sonny-boy. You can pay me back later. Gimme what ya got in your hand there."
Ranma was so excited that he could practically taste the nannichuan. He eagerly dumped his change into the old man's hands, completely unsuspicious of the ease with which he had obtained his ultimate goal.
The old man unlocked a hidden cupboard underneath the stall, and took out a small, clear bottle half the size of his palm. He passed it into the impatient hands of his customer.
Ranma all but snatched the bottle from the old man. "YES!!! Yes, I'm gonna be all guy again!" He began to do a little victory dance as tears came to his eyes. "I'm gonna be a guy. I'm gonna be a guy," he chanted.
He held the tiny bottle before him, preparing to open it and pour the liquid onto his body. Just as he went to remove the cork, a small white blur appeared out of nowhere and seized the nannichuan right out of his hands.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Ranma cried as the bottle left his hands. Deprived once again after coming so close, Ranma howled in frustration. Gathering his wits, he then looked at the old man who was shaking his head in dismay. Ranma realized that that bottle had been the old man's last. Glancing around quickly, he spotted the white blur moving at high speed towards a nearby park.
Ranma immediately took off after it. He followed the small blur into the park, leaping over small hedges and past trees. Pushing his body as fast as it could go, he began to gain steadily on the moving white blur. Soon, he was close enough to see that the small moving blur was actually an ordinary, white rabbit. There was absolutely nothing unusual about this rabbit, nothing to separate it from the rest of its kind, except that it had the small bottle of nannichuan still grasped in its mouth.
As Ranma put on another burst of speed, the rabbit dove suddenly down into a large hole just under a bush. Not hesitating for even a second, Ranma leapt into the hole after it, determined to get that nannichuan.
Then, to Ranma's great surprise, he was falling...falling...falling...
The hole seemed never-ending, and the rabbit was nowhere in sight. Ranma began to wonder just what it was he had gotten himself into. Catching glimpses as he fell rapidly down, Ranma started to look around him more.
From what he could tell, it looked like a perfectly ordinary hole, aside from its size and depth. It was dark, and there was earth surrounding him. Every so often, Ranma could see large twisting roots winding down the sides of the hole.
Ranma continued to fall down...down...down...
"Man, is this thing ever gonna end? I wonder how the heck I'm supposed to get out of this thing. Akane's gonna kill me if I don't show up for dinner tonight. She said she was cookin' a special meal for the family. Wait a minute! That means I'll get out of eating her toxic stew! I guess this ain't so bad after all."
But all that thinking about food had made Ranma hungry. Well, actually, he was always hungry; this had just reminded him. "This stupid rabbit-hole had better not go on too much longer. I need ta get somethin' to eat. I could sure go for some of Ukyo's okonomiaki right now, or even some of Shampoo's ramen."
After a few minutes since he was still falling...falling...falling..., Ranma's mind began to wander again. "What happened to that stinking rabbit? I just hafta get that bottle back. Wouldn't Pops be surprised if I came home cured?!"
Just then, Ranma came to the bottom of the hole with a loud THUMP!
"Ooof!" Ranma exclaimed as he got slowly up from a hard fall for the second time that day. He could feel several bruises beginning to swell already. It was a good thing he was such a fast healer.
Everything was still dark. In fact, it was darker than before. Ranma could hardly see his hand in front of his face. Then, out of the corner of his eye he saw some movement and a flash of white. Figuring correctly that it must have been the rabbit, Ranma followed in the direction he last saw it traveling. He cursed as he tripped over a large stone, and felt around more cautiously. Gradually, he began seeing a light ahead of him, and he continued steadily towards it.
At last, Ranma emerged blinking, and found himself in a long hallway. There were doors on each side of the hallways, but there was no sign of the rabbit. "Jeez, now where'd it go?"
Ranma began trying to open each door, but they were all locked. He then found a small table at the end of the hall upon which stood a tall bottle and a plate. The bottle was labeled with a small tag that said, "DRINK ME." On the plate, there was a steaming, deluxe-sized okonomiaki with a tag that said, "EAT ME." Not one who ever had to be asked twice when it came to food, Ranma immediately inhaled the okonomiaki and gulped down the liquid in the bottle, which turned out to be sake.
Immediately, Ranma began to feel rather funny...
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AN: I hope you liked the first chapter. This was just one of those random inspirations that wouldn't go away until I wrote it down. Some parts of this story will probably follow the Lewis Carroll version pretty closely, while other parts will be quite different.
10,000 Japanese Yen is equal to about $91 (USD), while 800 Japanese Yen works out to about $7 American dollars.
Next chapter: The Pool Of Tears.
~Aglaia