What have I done? The thought ran through Sirius's mind as the gruff man shoved him into the prison cell. The same thought had been the only thing he held to for the past three hours, ever since Peter…no. Don't think about that. What have I done? What have I done?

Sirius heard the doors clank behind him. He felt a terrible presence near him…dementors. He shivered. In the past the three hours, he had been dragged away from the street where he met Peter, gone through the Ministry, and eventually carted off to Azkaban. He never made an escape attempt. He couldn't. It was his fault.

All of it was his fault. His good wasn't good enough for this. Lily and James were dead and it was his entire fault. He had the best intentions, but it wasn't enough. He made a mess of things, as per usual. He wished he could run, could disappear, and back to last week when James was alive to fix it. His best friend was dead. This was his worst nightmare.

Sirius knew he was to blame. He'd suggested Peter as secret keeper. It was the perfect ruse. No one would think of Peter. But Peter had been the traitor all along…

Sirius swallowed hard. Remus. He'd been ignoring Remus for the past three months because he was so sure that the traitor had to be the werewolf. He, just like the rest, was a bigoted fool. Sirius felt tears tracing his cheeks gently.

Sirius was only trying to help, and yet he hurt everyone else in the process. He should have done as Lily had suggested and be secret keeper himself. But he couldn't go back and undo it. He would be forced to repay for his mistakes, not only by his stay in the prison, but even worse, by James and Lily's deaths, Peter's betrayal, and nearly worst of all, Remus was all alone, thinking Sirius was evil. He was stuck in this awful, twisted reality so parallel to his own.

"Please," Sirius whispered. "Please show Remus I really do care. If someone is out there anywhere…please, help me."

Sometimes life just wasn't fair – Sirius's life wasn't, Remus's wasn't, James and Lily's sure as hell wasn't, but Sirius had to hang on. For Harry. Because Harry was alive, and he had to stay strong for Harry, wherever he was.

Sirius felt more tears running down his face. The demeanors' influence was taking him over. He couldn't allow it, he had to stay strong.

James and Lily were dead and Remus was all alone. All because of Sirius. How many times would it take for him to get it right?