A/N: Written for hd_pots_n_porn January prompt "Holiday leftovers" on LJ.

Big thanks to my beta gusx217.

SNACKING THE HAM

Harry was rummaging through the pantry in his kitchen in almost full darkness. It was well past midnight and he was so hungry that he hadn't bothered to switch on any lights or Accio his wand to cast a Lumos, just to save time. He knew the contents of his pantry well enough to know there was at least some leftover turkey from the Christmas dinner at the Burrow on Christmas Day.

His house was silent; the last guests at his Christmas party had left a while ago and left Harry alone, drunk and hungry. They'd had quite a lot of drinks during the night, but only some snacks to eat, and if anything, Harry hated to go to bed feeling hungry. He'd had enough of that in his childhood at Dursley's.

Harry fumbled blindly through the upper shelves of the pantry, but found nothing he craved for. The lower shelf revealed a loaf of bread and a big chunk of cheese, but that was not interesting enough for Harry.

The next shelf contained a pie Molly had baked the previous day, a pot of clotted cream and a couple of cans Harry had to admit he didn't remember what they were. There was also a jug of juice, but Harry wasn't thirsty, damn it, he was hungry!

The next lower shelf held the food Harry wanted; the big, round, juicy piece of… ham? Harry had a ham? He didn't remember having a ham, he was absolutely sure that he had a turkey - or at least a large part of it. But ham? Harry caressed the surface of the ham with interest and wondered idly if Molly had forgotten to tell him that she switched the turkey to ham this Christmas. But… this ham didn't feel like it had been baked in the oven, it was more like a fresh piece of meat, soft and silky under his fingers. There was something else on the same plate with the ham… a nice thick sausage? Harry's mouth watered. He didn't remember having sausages either, but nevertheless, now that he had it in his hand, he wanted to sink his teeth in it so badly that his growling stomach twitched in anticipation.

Something else twitched too - the sausage that Harry was gripping in his hand, it twitched. Harry squeezed and tugged at it and it moaned. The sausage twitched and the ham moaned? Harry shook his head bemused, he was obviously more drunk than he had thought. But he was also painfully hungry, so he tugged again, trying to bring the sausage closer to his watering mouth, determined to have a good bite of it. That caused the ham next to the sausage to roll over.

"What the hell… Potter?" A disgruntled voice barked from inside of the pantry, and Harry yelped in surprise. He fumbled for his wand and remembered that he had left it in the living room. He Accioed it and cast a Lumos.

"Malfoy?" Harry squeaked when he saw the ham in question in the bright light. "You are my ham? And sausage?"

As soon as Harry had uttered the words, he blushed furiously. "Err… I mean, what in bloody hell are you doing in my pantry? And naked, no less?"

"Well, Potter, do tell me, do you always grope your food so enthusiastically before eating it?" Malfoy drawled, sitting up on the shelf he had been lying on, and stepping out of the pantry, still gloriously naked.

"Fuck you, Malfoy! I was hungry," Harry protested.

"By all means, don't let me stop you. I suppose you were going to eat my sausage before you woke me up." Malfoy was smirking now.

"Eat your… sausage?" Harry spluttered.

"Mmmm, why not? You were quite determined earlier. Only please don't use teeth too much, it kind of kills the mood." Malfoy stretched like a cat in the middle of Harry's kitchen and the sight made Harry's mouth water again, but this time not just from hunger. Malfoy caught his greedy expression and chuckled. "Just let's do it somewhere more comfortable, your pantry isn't the best place for shagging."

Malfoy turned on his heel and started towards Harry's bedroom. Harry stood frozen in place for a while, wondering how the hell Malfoy had ended up in his pantry in the first place. Then Malfoy turned his head and glanced seductively over his shoulder, smirked and swaggered his hips so invitingly that Harry didn't think anymore. He rushed after Malfoy, caught him just when he reached his bedroom door and tackled Malfoy onto the bed.

"I think that this Christmas' leftovers are even tastier than ever before. Can't wait to get the first bite," he growled and pounced on Malfoy. Malfoy emitted a throaty giggle - yes, giggle - and succumbed to being thoroughly devoured.

The End