Eyes Like The Sunset
Chapter 1
Meeting Bella
He is bringing a girl home, a human girl. Rosalie is not one bit happy about this. She was brought here in hopes that she would be to him what I have become to my Carlisle. Emmett changed all that though, they are the happiest now. I'm excited that Edward has finally found someone. I have spent so long watching him be alone and lonely. Carlisle said he thinks this may be the one from the way Edward talks about her. He did stop that van from hitting her at school. Knowing he should never show any signs of what he is.
Isabella Swan, Bella is what he calls her. When she moved here he was so attracted to her scent that he took Carlisle's car and drove and ended up in Alaska for two days. He feared he may harm her if he had stayed around. He had me worried sick! I hate when he disappears. Bella is the local police chief's daughter. She moved here after her mother's boyfriend got relocated to play baseball with another team in Florida. Edward told me this. He can't hear her thoughts for some reason, but she told him about herself. We are still unsure why he can't hear her thoughts, which has never happened as long as we have been a family.
But of course, Alice saw her coming into our lives, but told no one until she was sure that Edward wasn't going to harm her. See she only can see so much, people change their minds often and that effects how she sees stuff.
Carlisle had met her before of course, him being a doctor and her being clumsy as I hear. But today she was visiting our house. Edward walked in with Bella as we stood by the grand piano. We made no attempt to approach them as to not scare her. We were not used to humans being in our home. Edward was right her smell was something I had never dealt with in my lifetime.
"Carlisle, Esme, I would like you to meet Bella", he said.
"You're very welcome, Bella." Carlisle said as Bella went to shake hands with him. "Nice to see you again Dr. Cullen", she said.
"Just call me Carlisle, Bella."
"Carlisle" Bella repeated.
I stepped forward as it was my turn to meet Bella.
"It is so very nice to know you." I said.
"Thank you. Glad to meet you too." She said.
Emmett and Rosalie were still not back from hunting so they were the only ones who weren't here to greet Bella. Rosalie was not too thrilled at the idea of Edward bringing a human into our home and letting her in on our secret. She was not very trustworthy, she had come from a hard life before us.
I watched as Bella stared at our piano.
"Do you play?" I asked.
"Not at all", she said, "But it's so beautiful, is it yours?"
"Oh goodness no, did Edward not tell you about his musical talent?"
"So Edward can do everything right?" she asked.
"Edward, have you been showing off?" I asked, "It's so rude to do that you know."
"Maybe a bit." He said to me.
"Well, since you have been so rude play for her then."
"You just said showing off was rude, Esme"
"There are exceptions for every rule." I told him.
Because I knew that Edward had written a song just for her. During the night we would all sit around the piano while he played. So as he started playing we all went out of the room and left them to themselves. I thought Bella was a very brave girl for coming here after she found out what we were. I very much liked her. She made Edward happy, and so I was happy. I always thought that Edward was too young when Carlisle changed him. That he had never got to experience a real relationship and maybe he didn't know how. But this girl, this Bella, she had changed all my worries.
A while later when Edward and Bella joined us in the study I felt the sudden urge to tell Bella my story. I had the strongest feelings toward her as if she were my own and had been with us for years. My maternal instincts for all my children were great and it seemed as I had the same feelings toward her even though I had only just met her.
"Bella dear, may I speak to you in private for a moment?" I asked.
"Sure Mrs. Cullen" she said ever so politely.
"Please, Esme dear."
"Oh thank you, Esme."
"Bella I'm not sure how much Edward told you of our history, the Cullen history. How we became to be the family we are today. Which I'm sure you know is not a real family by human eyes." I spoke to her.
"He told me some, of how Carlisle only changed people if they were dying. That he was the first and then you and the rest followed. But I am interested to know more Esme."
"Let me explain in more detail dear if you have the time." I asked.
"Oh yes, please do." She said eagerly.
Chapter 2
The Beginning of My Life
"Edward had been with Carlisle for a very long time. He was the first that Carlisle changed. Carlisle had become very lonely in his path to becoming good. For many years he had been going back and forth with creating a companion. He was practicing medicine in a hospital in Chicago in 1918 when the influenza epidemic hit. There was a family; mother, father and young son that had come in sick. He had nursed the parents as they died and knew the boy was left alone. The boy was only seventeen and was dying from the Spanish influenza. Carlisle knew what he must do, for himself, and the boy. That's how Edward became a part of the Cullen family. I'm sure he will explain more of his story when the time comes. That's why Carlisle is so fond of him; he saved him from his loneliness." I explained.
Not too long after that Carlisle found me, but before I go that far, let me tell you a little bit about where I come from.
Esme Anne Platt, that was my given name, I lived on the in a town right outside of Columbus, Ohio. I was born in 1895 to my parents Benjamin and Laura Platt. I was a tom boy despite what my mother and father wanted. They thought a woman should be very prim and proper but I couldn't stand wearing the dresses my mother got for me, they got in my way of playing and running.
In 1911 I had recently turned 16 and was out in the fields with my friend Mary when I noticed my cat Lulu had climbed up in a tree. "Lulu get down from there", I yelled at her. But she refused to listen to me."
"Mary watch for mother and father, I'm climbing up." "Oh, do be careful" she said to me with a worrisome look on her face.
I climbed up to where Lulu had perched on a branch and was staring at me. "Here Lulu, come on, come down now." I tried to persuade her.
As I reached out to grab onto her to bring her down she pounced right into my face and caused me to lose my balance and fall right out of that tree.
I fell about 5 or 6 feet down and hit the ground with a loud thump. All I remember is Mary over me yelling something and disappearing. The pain was excruciating and I turned over and vomited into the dirt. I tried to get up but that only made it worse. I was dizzy and couldn't see straight. I'm not sure how much time had went by and I woke up in a hospital. It wasn't the local hospital that I remembered seeing before.
"How are we doing this morning Ms. Platt" a soothing voice said to me.
I turned and saw the most beautiful man I had ever dreamed of there being. His skin was pale white like a porcelain doll, his hair blonde and every strand in perfect place, his eyes golden like the sunset.
"I'm feeling a bit better, but where am I? This isn't the hospital at home."
"Your local doctor was away on an emergency call and this was the closest hospital to bring you. You had a nasty fall, I'm glad to see you are feeling better this morning. I am Dr. Cullen by the way."
"Nice to meet you Dr. Cullen, thank you for helping me after my foolishness."
"May I ask just what it was you were doing up in that tree Ms. Platt?" he asked with a smirk on his face.
"Well, this is going to sound very immature and foolish, but my cat Lulu had climbed up in the tree on a very high branch and I thought I could get her down, but when I got up there to get her the darn thing jumped right in my face and knocked me down." I explained to him, feeling silly after I did so.
"Well, you are a very lucky young lady; you only have a broken leg and a few scratches and bruises. You should be up and going in no time. Just don't fall out of anymore trees this time." He grinned and said to me.
"Excuse me Ms. Platt; I must see to my other patients, I will let your family know you are awake."
"Oh Esme dear, I am so glad to see you are awake you had your father and I worried sick!" mother said to me as she walked into my room.
"I'm so sorry mother, father, I was only trying to get Lulu out of that tree."
"Honey, cats can get out of trees on their own, just like they got up there. Please, be more careful. Ladies do not fare well in climbing trees." Father said to me with a tone in his voice.
"We are just grateful Dr. Cullen was in for the month. Who knows what would have happened if he had not been here to help you. And such a polite and well spoken doctor he is." Mother had a habit of flirting with men other than father on occasion. Dr. Cullen was too young for her though, he was 28, 30 at the most.
That night I couldn't get Dr. Cullen out of my head. He was such a strange looking man, but such a handsome man at the same time. I had never seen another being like him in my entire life. He seemed to have no flaws whatsoever about him.
Stop it Esme I kept telling myself, he is too old for you and would never want to be with you. I had never had any feelings for another man the way I had for Dr. Cullen. It was strange, like something was pulling me to him, I wanted to know more about him, wanted to be with him forever, just looking into those beautiful eyes.
"Ms. Platt" I heard Dr. Cullen say and snapped me out of my inappropriate daydream. "Are you okay?"
"Oh, yes, I'm sorry just daydreaming." About you I thought to myself, never could I say such a thing to his beautiful face.
"Well, Ms. Platt I have done all I can for you and believe it is time to discharge you to go back home with your family."
"Thank you Dr. Cullen, but before I go may I ask you something?" I said scared to death.
"Why yes Ms. Platt go ahead."
"May I call you by your first name now that you are no longer my doctor?"
"Why of course Ms. Platt, you may call me Carlisle." He said with a smile.
"Now may I call you by your first name also Ms. Platt?"
"Yes, please Carlisle."
"Well, Esme, it has been nice to get to know you these few days, and I hope you feel much better. And remember, no more climbing trees." He laughed as he said to me.
"Don't worry; I have learned my lesson on that."
"Carlisle" "Yes Esme" "May I ask you one last thing?" "Yes, go ahead."
"Will I ever see you again?"
"I will not lie to you Esme that is very unlikely. But fate has its way of fooling us all now doesn't it?"
"Yes, Carlisle, it does. I do hope it fools us both." I said to him, with a tear in my eye.
"Goodbye Esme, maybe our paths will cross again some day. Never change from the happy person you are now. Live a beautiful life dear Esme."
"Thank you Carlisle, as I hope you so also. Thank you for everything you have done. Goodbye."
I thought that was going to be the last time I ever saw Carlisle, but as he said fate had its way of fooling us.
Chapter 3
Marriage
By the time we were 18 Mary had met a boy and become engaged. My parents were urging the same upon me. I was against it as I wanted to move west to become a schoolteacher, but father did not think this a respectable thing for a woman to do. But I always hoped to be able to get away from it all and live my dreams as I wanted, not as anyone else wanted me to.
But mother and father would have none of that and when I turned 21 they told me that they had invited a man over who wished to be my suitor. His name was Charles Evenson and he was a friend of the family which didn't make things much better. My father said he has good prospects, but I told my father I could take care of myself. Father strongly believed a woman needed a man to take care of her. He urged me to meet Mr. Evenson and accept him as a suitor and possible husband.
"Oh mother must I really meet him?" I begged.
"Do hush Esme and get dresses he is to be here soon." Mother said back.
I sighed as I finished putting on my best dress, which mother had picked out for me. It was blue with small ruffles along the bottom. I most loathed the dress but mother insisted that I wear it to meet Mr. Evenson.
So Mr. Evenson came to dinner and asked father if he could have my hand in marriage if I shall have him. Of course father was exuberant about it even though I was much opposed to it.
"Mr. Evenson, if you do not mind I would like to think on this for a bit please." I said, knowing father would disapprove of such a thing.
"Of course dear Esme, take your time, I shall be waiting." He said as he walked to kiss my hand goodnight.
"Esme what is this? You shall accept his proposal and be his wife!" father angrily said to me.
"Now Benjamin, if she is unsure you have no need in pressuring her, she will still refuse. Give her space and let her decide on her own will." Mother quipped back at him.
It was very unlike my mother to stand up to me like that. But I am glad she did because I did not want to marry Mr. Evenson.
Six months passed before I heard from Mr. Evenson again. I was out hanging clothes to dry one day when I heard a voice call my name. It was he coming to ask if I had made a decision on marrying him. Mother, father and I had many conversations on what I should do, and I came to realize that marrying was my only option and Mr. Evenson had been the only man to ask. I realized it was time to settle and have a family. Mary had 2 of her own already and I did love them dearly. Little Samuel who was 3 and Emma, who just turned 1, were the most beautiful children, and how I longed for children of my own someday.
"Mr. Evenson, I will accept your proposal to become your wife." I stated hesitantly and not willingly.
"Oh darling this is the best day ever, Benjamin tell the preacher there is to be a wedding!" Mother yelled ecstatically.
We married in 1917 when I was 22. I was still opposed to the marriage up until our wedding day, but I wanted a child dearly. I sat in my room in the church after I finished putting on my dress. It was a lovely dress. White with a beaded bodice that dipped into a v in the front, long sleeves made of lace that slid onto my finger at the end, a five foot train that trailed behind me. But no matter how beautiful the dress this still was not the happiest day of my life as it was supposed to be.
I heard a knock on the door followed by Mary's voice. Mary had agreed to be my maid of honor even though she knew I was not happily going into this marriage. She had tried to talk me out of it many times.
"Esme, are you sure you want to go through with this?" she asked me as if pleading me not to.
"Mary, I have watched you get married and have a family, and I want a child of my own so badly, this is the only way I will be able to become a mother." I told her.
"If this is what you want then, I will support you no matter what. But know that I will always be here for you if ever you need me." Mary said hugging me with tears in her eyes.
I knew after my wedding Charles had planned on moving away and this could be the last time I saw my friend again. We had been friends for so long and I would miss her so. We would write one another and maybe when able one could visit. But I feared I would never get to see her again or my family.
"Please let me know if I am boring you dear Bella" I said as she was still staring at me a look of sadness on her face.
"Oh, no please keep going. I would like to know the rest."
"Okay dear." I said pleased she was interested.
Chapter 4
Why Me
Charles and I moved away after our marriage, I was sad as I said goodbye to Mary and her children, and mother and father. But this was my life now and I had to start living it. He had gotten a job as a lawyer in the next town over and was gone most of the day. I was expected to keep the house up, have breakfast for him when he woke, and dinner when he came home.
One night he came in very late, I had dinner ready for at least 4 hours before he came in.
"Esme, where is my food!" He yelled with a slur to his words. I had never heard him like this before.
"You're late Charles; dinner has been ready for four hours."
"Give me a kiss wife." He said and pulled me to him. I smelled alcohol on his breath and knew where he had been.
He had a court date that day and must have lost his case. His friends were frequents to the bar in the other town and he must have joined them there that night after court.
I tried to pull away from him as the stench upset my stomach.
"How dare you pull away from me, you are my wife and I am free to do with you as I like." He yelled at me, spitting as he spoke.
"You're drunk Charles, here eat your dinner." I sat his plate down on the table.
He picked the plate up and slung it at me and it hit me in the shoulder.
"I'm not hungry woman! Now clean that mess up!"
He stumbled over to me and grabbed me by the hair pulling me down to the floor.
"I said clean up the mess, now!" He said as he pushed me down into the food he had thrown.
I started cleaning the food off the floor and by the time I looked up Charles had gone into the bedroom and passed out on the bed.
Oh how I wish Mary was here, I thought to myself. She would know what to do.
Days passed without a word about what had happened that night. I was afraid to say anything, for fear he might do it again. At breakfast we usually ate in silence and dinner was conversation about Charles' new cases. I didn't much care about his line of work, but I tolerated talking with him about it.
Charles had begun working on a murder case and had been getting in late, so I held off on dinner for a few hours as to have it still warm when he got it. One night he got home earlier than usual, I was in the garden tending my flowers when I heard a door slam and footsteps. Oh no, I thought to myself, please don't let Charles be home early without dinner ready. But it was and he did not have a please look on his face when I came in with dirt on my gloves.
"Why is supper not ready Esme." He said with eyes as cold as night. A look I had never seen.
"You're early dear, I wasn't expecting you. Here sit down and I will have it ready in no time." I said fearfully.
He moved as if to sit down but instead grabbed me by the arm and pulled me over to the table and pushed me down in the chair. He just stood over me glaring me with eyes full of hate.
What have I done to deserve this God? I thought to myself. I have done everything he ever asked of me. I made one mistake and he looks at me as if he does not even know me.
"Charles, please" I begged.
"Be quiet!" he yelled still standing over me. His eyes seemed like they got darker as he got closer to me. Then he shoved me and the chair backwards onto the floor. He continued to stand over me while I lay there still not daring to move or say a word.
"Get up" he demanded.
I stood up trying to move as far away from him as I could.
"Come here" he demanded of me once more.
I walked over to him not to disobey now.
He stared at me yet again with eyes I did not know anymore. This was not the man I married, not the man I had met almost two years ago.
He stood in front of me, I was frozen with fear. He put his hand on my face as if to cradle it, then slapped me across it and knocked me to the ground.
I started sobbing as I lay there on the floor not knowing what to do.
"Quit you're crying" he said and pulled me back up only to sling me across the room into the counter. I hit hard knocking my breath out and stood there not turning around to face him.
I heard his footsteps as they got closer to me and felt his hand as he grabbed the back of my hand and slammed my face into the counter in front of me. I collapsed onto the floor before I blacked out.
When I came to the house was quiet and it was dark outside. I stood up, my head spinning and aching and silently crept through the house to see where Charles had gone. He was no where in sight, I knew that could only mean one thing, he was back out with his friends in the next town over.
I awoke the next day to the sound of a door slamming and I knew Charles was just getting home. I quietly got out of bed and walked down the hall to avoid him. I watched as he staggered into the bedroom and passed out on the bed. Thank goodness I thought to myself, I get a break today. I made my way into the kitchen and made myself something small for breakfast making sure to not make any noise to wake Charles. Then I headed to town to see if I had received any mail and pick up a few things I needed at home.
There was a letter from Mary; she was pregnant again and due anytime. Oh how I wished I was there to see the new baby. She says mother and father are doing well and send their love and they will write soon. Samuel has started school and is doing very well and little Emma was turning 3. How I did miss my family and friends back home. I made my way to our local grocer to pick up some food for home. When I got back home a nauseating feeling hit and I had to run for the toilet. I stayed sick most of the rest of the day.
Charles didn't wake until it was time for him to go to work; I was too sick to make his breakfast and stayed in the bathroom most of the morning. A little after noon I began to feel better and started on my house work.
I had dinner ready when Charles got home that night; he acted as if nothing had ever happened, so I did not speak a word of it. He sat down at the table and Charles looked over at me and said, "I have joined the Army, I leave in two weeks, I thought this best for the both of us."
"Oh" I said both surprised and relieved at the same time.
"I will be gone for a while, the war has just begun and they need as many men as they can get." He spoke softly to me for the first time in over a year.
We finished our dinner in silence and went to bed as usual. The next two weeks went by fast, as I was looking forward to his departure. The day finally came for him to leave and we said our goodbyes, not knowing when I would see him again I was overcome with a sense of freedom.
Since he was gone now I was free to visit my family and Mary back home, I took the first train I could back home to see everybody.
Mary had given birth to a beautiful baby boy she had named Henry. I watched the way she and her husband looked at each other and longed for that with Charles. I knew I would never have it and dreaded the day he came home. I stayed with Mary and my mother and father for a few weeks, but chores back home called my name. Mary knew what Charles had done to me and did not want me to go back and wait on him, I made her swear to never tell mother and father for it would devastate them to find out.
I returned home where I would await Charles' return whenever that might be. I continued on with life by myself and enjoying every minute of it. Almost 2 years had gone by with me being alone. I was out tending to the lawn one day when I saw a man walking up the drive. A pang of fear struck in my heart when I realized it was Charles back home. I quickly ran inside to straighten up the house and throw something on to cook. I heard his footsteps grow closer and I stood very still next to the oven.
I had such hopes that he would be a changed person for the better, but as soon as he walked through the door I knew different.
He walked in took his boots off sat down at the table and looked up at where I was standing.
"Dinner almost ready?" He asked his voice flat and distant.
"Yes, dear very shortly, welcome home." I said not wanting to.
I finished with dinner and we sat not talking and ate our dinner. The next few months went on about the same. We didn't talk much but I still had to tend to his needs as a good wife is supposed to. The days went on very slowly and things went back to normal. Charles went back to his old job and the same hours. The friends he had no longer worked there as they had gotten into trouble over a bar fight and been fired. For once I had hope things may had made a change for the better.
Months went by before Charles started coming home drunk again or not coming home at all. He started accusing me of having men over while he was working and started hitting me again. Once so hard it blacked my eye. I stayed in for a week so no one could ask questions and make it worse.
A month after he blacked my eye I begin to get sick in the mornings when I woke up. I knew this could only mean one thing. I made a trip to the local doctor while Charles was at work one day. As I walked into the hospital I had a sudden memory of Dr. Carlisle Cullen and it made me think of what ever came of him. Silly Esme, I said to myself, he was much older than you, and you are a married woman, you shouldn't have such thoughts. But still it crossed my mind. He was such a beautiful man; he would never do such things to me as Charles did. Maybe we will cross paths again one day Carlisle I thought to myself as the doctor walked into the room.
"How can I help you today Mrs. Evenson?" the doctor asked as he sat down. He looked nothing like Carlisle had and I felt a bit of disappointment that it wasn't him.
"I think I may be pregnant doctor" I said scared.
"Well, let's do some tests here and find out shall we." The doctor said and I agreed.
About an hour had went by as I sat waiting to find out if I was really pregnant, now of all times.
"Mrs. Evenson, the doctor has your results" a nurse who looked younger than me said to me from her desk.
I stood up my legs shaking beneath me; I grabbed the wall feeling like I may pass out.
Get a hold of yourself Esme; this is all you've ever wanted was a baby, I mumbled under my breath. But the truth was I knew I couldn't bring a baby into this world with Charles for fear he may hurt the baby, or hurt me and no one would be able to take care of it.
"Congratulations Mrs. Evenson, you're going to have a baby" the doctor said with a smile on his face. And I started crying right there in front of him.
"Oh dear what wrong" he asked with a concerned look on his face.
"Oh, I'm sorry doctor; I'm just overwhelmed and happy about it." I told him lying.
Bella was still staring at me while I talked. I could sense she never knew I had a child of my own. I could sense when she tensed up when I mentioned pregnancy.
"What happened to your baby Esme" she asked timidly.
"That comes later in the story darling, all in good time." I said back to her still unsure why I was able to be so open with her about my life.
Chapter 5
My Escape
I made my way back home still crying about what I had found out. I made sure to get home before Charles so I could have his dinner ready. I had to think about my baby now and could not let him hurt it.
He came home at his usual time to dinner made and waiting on him. He didn't speak a word to me nor I to him. He went to bed before I did, I found myself not able to sleep that night. I had to think of a way to get away from him. The next day I woke and made his breakfast all while planning my escape. This baby was my way out, my way to freedom and no more hurting.
As soon as he left I began to pack my bags that I had hidden from my trip back home. I only took what I needed as to make it quick scared he would show back up. I had second cousins in Milwaukee I had planned on going to stay with for awhile until I decided what to do. I couldn't go back home, mother and father would never condone such a thing as running away from your husband, It was just me and my baby now, that's all I had to think about was protecting him or her from harm.
I went to the train station and got on the first train to Milwaukee and didn't look back. I had no sadness for leaving and felt a weight lifted off my chest for the first time in almost 4 years. I was free and I was never coming back to him. I had my own family now, and I didn't need him.
I met my cousins Roger and Sara at the train station in Milwaukee. Oh how happy I was to see them. They did not know that I was pregnant and I was afraid to tell them for fear they would not want me to stay with them. I only planned to stay awhile until I figured out where I wanted to be.
I had been there about a month when Sara called me into the kitchen to talk.
"We have received word that your mother and father are on their way for you, I thought you would like to know." She said quietly.
I just stared at her for a moment, how could this be, who had told them my whereabouts.
"Thank you Sara, I must be going then. Thank you for your hospitality and welcoming me into your home. Someday I hope to repay your kindness." I said as I walked away sad to leave my family again.
I started making my way north blending in as another war widow. I come upon a community outside of Ashland and decided to settle there. It seemed like a good place to start over with my child. I began teaching at a local school there while waiting on my baby to come.
Chapter 6
William Matthew Platt
It was 1921 and I was at my home reading a book when I had the worst pain in my stomach. No, not yet I thought to myself, it's not time for you yet my child. But I knew that my baby was coming whether wanted it to or not. I had moved right down the street from the hospital so when it was time I would be able to make it there on my own. Little did I know that the pain would be so bad that I would barely be able to walk. I made it out my front door and started toward the street where people were walking and going about their business. A child saw me crying and stumbling towards the street and yelled to his mother and father to look at me. They rushed over and helped me to the hospital.
The nurses got a gurney and rushed me back into a room by myself. They were saying all sorts of things I could barely hear.
"Mrs. Evenson, I'm Dr. Carlson, I'm afraid you have gone into early labor and we will be delivering you tonight."
"Platt, its Ms. Platt." I said to him barely able to breath. I did not want my baby to have that mans name.
"Okay Ms. Platt, I'm going to need you to push now, the nurses are next to you to help you through this. Should they contact anyone for you?"
"No, no one, it's just me." I said slightly embarrassed.
I pushed as the doctor had instructed me to with the nurses standing near me talking to me to calm me. I had never felt such pain in my life. Even when I fell out of the tree when I was small was nothing compared to this now. And as that memory came into my head I thought of Carlisle once more. I wondered what had become of him and what he would say if he were here now.
I awoke later and started to panic, I must have passed out from all the pain. My baby, where was my baby? I started to get up out of my bed when Dr. Carlson came into my room.
"Ah Mrs. Even…Ms. Platt, I'm glad to see you stirring. You have a beautiful baby boy my dear. But there is a matter I need to speak with you about." He said the smile fading from his face.
Thoughts were racing through my head, was my baby boy okay, why couldn't I see him, where was he?
"It seems that since your baby was premature his lungs did not fully develop and while he was still in the womb he took on fluid into his lungs. We have him on an IV and oxygen to help him breathe, but I'm afraid it does not look good Ms. Platt."
I couldn't think, couldn't comprehend what he had just said to me. My baby, my only family I had left was going to leave me? No I must have heard wrong this couldn't be right.
"Come with me Ms. Platt I will show you to your baby." A nurse who had come into the room at some point said to me.
I followed her aimlessly, not able to think clearly still. She took me into a room where my son was hooked up to IVs and sat me down in a chair next to him. She picked him up and carefully handed him to me.
I had decided to call him William Matthew and he was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen, I instantly fell in love with him. But I was still overcome with the news the doctor had told me only minutes before. How was it possible that the only person I had left in this world was going to be taken away from me? I sat there for what seemed like an eternity staring at my precious baby boy. Dr. Carlson came in to check on us later that night.
"Are you sure there is nothing else you can do for my baby Dr. Carlson?" I asked pleadingly.
"I'm so sorry but I have done all I know to do, I think it best if you took him home to be with you and let him rest until the time comes."
"Doctor this little boy is all I have left in this world, not family, no husband, no friends. I can't lose him too." I said as I started to sob.
As much as I did not want to I took my little baby home and got to spend 3 wonderful days with him before he closed his eyes for the last time as I sat holding him in my arms.
Bella's eyes got sad as a small tear rolled down her check.
"Oh I'm so sorry Esme I didn't know." She said quietly to me.
"It's okay dear it was a long time ago and though I do miss him dear I have a new family now that I love so very much." I explained to her.
That night I went outside and aimlessly wondered throughout the town. Not caring who saw me anymore. I no longer cared if Charles found me. Let him do his worse. There could be nothing worse than losing my tiny baby boy. As I walked I came to a cliff overlooking the water. As I looked over at the sight below a wave of clearness came through my mind and I knew. This was what I had to do. No one wanted me, no one needed me, and I needed no one. So I jumped.
"Oh" she gasped and followed with "I'm sorry, go on."