Completely AU. I hope you all like this, please read and review. But yeah, Marissa actually leaves, and doesn't get killed…

Author's note: I do not own The O.C. Completely Josh's.

The car was full of silence. It was the most awkward thing Marissa has ever gone through. Ryan must be upset that she's leaving, but he has to understand that it's time for her to move on, he just has to understand. "So, Ryan—" Marissa starts to speak, wondering what Ryan might say. Would he start screaming at her? Or would he feel sorry? She just had to know.

"It's okay Marissa, you know I'm there for you," he said with a small smile.

[lovealways]

Ryan woke with a startle. Her words kept ringing in his head. 'Ryan Atwood, I will always love you.' He really couldn't believe she was actually gone. Marissa was in Greece, not in Newport, it just didn't make sense. She was meant to stay here and go to Berkeley with him. Ryan rubbed his eyes and looked down at his sheets. He just wanted to call Marissa, and talk to her. He wanted to grab a bite to eat with her, Summer, and Seth.

It was different; he was sitting in the diner with Summer and Seth. They were sitting on one side as Ryan sat on the other, all alone. Usually Marissa would sit next to him, but now… he was by himself. He could feel Summer and Seth's eyes on him, they didn't know what to say to him. Anything they would've said, he would have ignored it. Ryan was playing with the straw sitting in his drink, and would not stop staring at it.

"Hey guys!" they all heard a squeaky tone girl scream. That's what got Ryan's head to jerk up. He really didn't like Taylor Townsend. She was the person who got him kicked out of Harbor, but then again, she got Marissa back in. She came into the booth and sat next to Ryan. His arm was on the back of her part of the chair, but he moved it right away. He was very uncomfortable around Taylor. "What's up?" she asked in a cheery tone.

Summer shrugged. "Nothing," she said sadly. Of course she was sad too, she had lost her best friend, she had no clue what to do with herself without Marissa, but she wasn't as sad as Ryan was.

[lovealways]

Two months later, Ryan and Taylor were in a committed, loving relationship. They had gone through a lot together—of course, not as much as Ryan and Marissa went through, but still.

[lovealways]

Taylor had woken up Ryan one morning with coffee, and they talked for an hour. Taylor made Ryan laugh, and smile, but it didn't feel the same as before. The door burst open as Ryan gave Taylor a peck on the lips. Sandy was standing in the doorway, staring at them. "Sandy…" Taylor started. She looked very worried, but Ryan laughed. This had happened many times, he doesn't really care anymore.

But Sandy wasn't laughing. Ryan got serious with him. "What's wrong?" he asked.

"Could you please come in the kitchen for a minute, you can come to if you'd like Taylor," Sandy said.

Ryan nodded and got out of his bed. He slipped his slippers on and walked out of the pool house with Taylor behind him. He walked in to see Summer and Seth sitting on the high chairs and staring at Julie and Kaitlin. Everybody was there. Kirsten stood there holding coffee and looking at Ryan. Nobody was talking. "What's going on?" Taylor asked awkwardly.

Julie walked towards Ryan with a letter in her hand. "Ryan, we received this letter this morning. It says it was delivered two months ago. It was for you, from Marissa. I guess it got lost in the mail," she explained. "We came right over when we saw it," she said.

"Yeah, she didn't even let me brush my hair," Kaitlin mumbled.

Julie ignored Kaitlin's comment and handed Ryan the letter. Taylor jumped a little. She thought Marissa was out of their lives for sure. She knows it was bad, by Taylor's life was so much better since Marissa left; she had gotten Ryan, and Summer, and Seth. It wasn't fair what Marissa was doing.

Ryan shook his head when he looked at the letter in Julie's hand. "I don't want to read it," he finally said after a minute of silence. He pushed Julie's hands towards her stomach.

"Ryan—" Kirsten started.

"I don't want to read it," he repeated.

He walked over to the table and sat at the head of the table. He didn't make eye contact with anyone. Summer looked at Seth and jerked her head towards Ryan. Seth sighed and walked over to the table, he took the seat next to Ryan and whispered, "Ryan, Marissa would want to read it." He scoffed. "I know it's not like she's dead, and you could email her, but she wrote you this letter when she left. She probably needs you to read it soon," Seth explained.

Ryan nodded and stood up. He grabbed the letter from the counter and walked towards the door. He stopped and turned to everyone. "I just need to be alone for a minute," he said, then walked out the door.

"Oy humbug," Seth said.

"Seth, it's not Christmas," Kirsten said. Seth was about to say something, but Kirsten shook her head. He shrugged.

Ryan got into the pool house and opened the letter.

Dear Ryan,

I hope you're going to understand by the end of this letter.

I'm sorry I left so suddenly, but it's the only way we could stay normal. You should know that you're the reason I stayed in Newport for so long, and I thank you for that.

But I'm also sorry, for everything. But you stuck with me from the thick and thin.

I want you to laugh, Ryan, I want you to live, and I most definitely want you to love again.

I still love you Ryan Atwood. You saved me.

Love always, Marissa.

Ten minutes later Ryan heard a knock on the door. "Ryan?" he heard Summer say.

"Yeah!" he shouted, trying to forget about Marissa. He got up and opened the door. Summer, Taylor, and Seth were standing in the doorway waiting to hear what Marissa said in her letter.

"So…" Seth said.

Ryan walked back to his bed and the rest followed. Ryan sighed. "She said that she loved me, and that I shouldn't blame myself. She said that we should move on," Ryan said. He looked at Taylor. "Which I did."

[lovealways]

6 MONTHS LATER.

"Daddy!" Marissa Cooper shouted in pain. She really didn't want to leave her dad now.

He shrugged. "I'm sorry kiddo. It's just over," he explained.

"Well, where are you sending me?" she asked.

"Um, guess."

[lovealways]

I'll take a while to update because I wrote that all day. LOL. But I hope you guys stick to this, I will. =)