The Mis-Adventures of Spy
Chapter 1 – N00000B
It was a warm day and the RED team were feeling incredibly tired. After having a long but victorious battle at Well, they weren't happy to find out they were moving to Dustbowl. Soldier and Demo had taken to letting their feelings known by shouting around the base. Nothing new. Most of the mercenaries had travelled in Sniper's van and were starved for entertainment. Engineer decided to try build something new while Scout spent 10 minutes hitting his Sandman ball towards Sniper before getting bored and running around the base trying his record of 1 minute.
8 of the mercenaries were going about their business because the stuff just described was nothing extraordinary in the RED base. However, the ninth and most mysterious was not in his room like he was usually and he wasn't walking around the base. The Spy was stood near their closest control point examining the area. He had heard multiple bangs and these weren't the ones caused by the Soldier's actions.
He was dressed in...not unusual but different attire than normal. Today he wore a red homburg that gave him the look of a 'posh git', as the Sniper said. With that he also decided to wear a turtle-neck underneath his suit. Most people would find this strange but on these battlefields, like everything going on in the base, it was nothing new. For safety reason he had taken his trusty Enforcer and Knife. As he scanned around the area, he heard the noises which certainly came from his base.
He shrugged and put his weapons away and began walking back to his base. Suddenly, multiple crates fell from a pile causing a large noise which made the Spy let his gold pocket watch fall into his hand. He turned slowly and pulled out his Enforcer. As he turned he saw a horrific sight. A BLU Sniper wearing a black hat, nicknamed the 'UGLY HAT' by Heavy, which was really called a Gibus and his face looked like it had been squashed by a double-decker bus. He had a normal Kukri but seemed to be lacking his sniper rifle and SMG.
"...Bonjour?" said the Spy slowly.
The Sniper turned to him and suddenly began to shout.
"I AM RAGER. OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"
The voice sounded like that of an 8 year old girl and the Spy had to cover his ear with his gun-wielding hand carefully. Then again, shooting himself in the ear might make the horrible noise stop. Quickly the Spy put the pocket watch in his...pocket and aimed his gun.
"OOOOOO, ONLY NOOBS USE THE ENFORCER! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
There was a bang and the Spy felt his arm fall from a heavy weight. His beloved Enforcer had been replaced by a sniper rifle.
"PROS USE SNIPER RIFLE. MLG! AAAAH!"
The Spy decided to go with it and aimed the rifle at the weird Sniper. He fired but the Sniper had teleported onto a nearby roof.
"BODYSHOT NOOB!"
He had to get up close to the Sniper. The Spy threw down the rifle and prepared his knife before climbing stairs to reach the roof. Out of nowhere, the Sniper teleported in front of him and the Spy felt a hand smack against his face, knocking him to the floor.
"Merde..." he muttered.
"FACESTAB NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOB!"
The Spy jumped to his feet before charging at the Sniper. He strafed to the left and slashed his knife. Before he could see if he had killed the creepy mercenary, he was stabbed by a Kukri. He looked down to his chest and saw the weapon poking out. Within seconds the Spy had equipped his gold pocket watch and felt the fake corpse drop. While he was cloaked, he hid by a nearby wall and prepared to attack. He turned to the corner and saw the Sniper was taunting.
"Sorry to pop in unannounced!" cried the Spy, charging forwards.
The Spy ducked the Kukri that just skimmed his head and waved his knife in the direction of the Sniper's back. He felt it sink into something and felt the wind as the Kukri flew towards his neck. Quickly he jumped from the roof and knew the Kukri had just missed him again. He looked up to see the body of the Sniper falling to the ground. It was going to crush him!
He jumped out the way and heard the familiar sound of the door opening. The Medic popped his head out and saw the dead Sniper and then the Spy who was coughing up his lungs. Without a second thought, the Medic shrugged and walked back into the base.
"Zat was unfortunate," the Spy coughed before getting to his feet. He stepped over the corpse and walked back into the base.
Nothing new.