Author's Note-- This peice is from Dawn's point of view. It's set
directly after Forever. I just wrote it on a whim in about 20 minutes,
without anything mapped out in my head, so I hope it's ok. Feedback would
be truly amazing, as I'm still pretty new to the fanfic world and would
love to get better at writing this stuff :) Thanks, and enjoy.
-----------
I didn't know it was possible for someone to cry like that. As if everything in
the world is just..unfixable. But she did. I almost feel like it's my fault. I shouldn't
have yelled at her. But it was like I didn't have control of my emotions all of a sudden.
It's been like that a lot lately.
And now we're just sitting here. Me staring hard at the wall, and Buffy beside me trembling,
with her head bent over her knees.
We cried for a long time. Well, her a lot longer than me.
I guess she was making up for all those days she missed.
Catching up or something.
Is that a good thing?
My friend Courtney once told me that keeping your feelings inside is never a good thing. That
was after her parents went through a messy divorce and she had to see a therapist about it.
Maybe I should see one. But who would I ask about it? Who would set up an appointment?
Who would drive me there? Well, mom would.
It's not like I need to see a therapist anyway.
At some point, while Buffy was still sobbing in my arms, I felt a draft and remembered the
door was still wide open. I wonder if anyone walked by our house and saw us like that.
I wonder what they would've thought.
"Oh look, there are those poor Summers girls who just lost their mother. Boo hoo."
Like they'd understand. So, I got up and shut the door. Buffy sat against the wall by the
doorway and started trembling. Well, at first she was shaking a lot harder.
But now it's become a customary tremble.
I wonder how long we've been sitting like this. My back hurts from the hard floor. But I
can't get up. I can't let Buffy sit here alone. I don't know what I'm doing to help her
but ...still. I take her hand in mine and squeeze it. Even her fingers and shaking. I
lean against her and close my eyes. I'm so tired. I don't think I've slept in days. I
haven't really eaten either, which probably isn't good.
As I begin to doze off I hear Buffy start to cry again. Not a sob this time, just a murmur.
It makes me want to cry. I feel terrible for accusing her the way I did. But it's done,
and maybe, just maybe, it was for the best.
Then before I know it I feel a hand on my shoulder. I open my eyes and see Willow
staring down at me. I look outside. The sun is rising.
"Hey Dawnie," she coos. Usually I hate being talked to like I'm a child. But right now
I feel like one.
I rub my eyes and mumble that I'm going to go upstairs to sleep. That makes Willow
smile a little, which I guess is good.
I turn to look at Buffy.
Giles is kneeling down beside her. She's still shaking. He pushes her hair from her face
and as he looks at her, concern, pain, and understanding outline his features. I look down
and realise I'm still holding Buffy's hand. I squeeze it one more time and slowly get up.
My bones are all achy. As I walk slowly upstairs I see Giles scoop Buffy up in his arms and
places her gently on the couch. He holds her, and she starts to cry again. I turn and
continue step by step up to my bed, which is the only place I want to be right now.
He'll take care of her. And I'll just keep going.
Step by step.
directly after Forever. I just wrote it on a whim in about 20 minutes,
without anything mapped out in my head, so I hope it's ok. Feedback would
be truly amazing, as I'm still pretty new to the fanfic world and would
love to get better at writing this stuff :) Thanks, and enjoy.
-----------
I didn't know it was possible for someone to cry like that. As if everything in
the world is just..unfixable. But she did. I almost feel like it's my fault. I shouldn't
have yelled at her. But it was like I didn't have control of my emotions all of a sudden.
It's been like that a lot lately.
And now we're just sitting here. Me staring hard at the wall, and Buffy beside me trembling,
with her head bent over her knees.
We cried for a long time. Well, her a lot longer than me.
I guess she was making up for all those days she missed.
Catching up or something.
Is that a good thing?
My friend Courtney once told me that keeping your feelings inside is never a good thing. That
was after her parents went through a messy divorce and she had to see a therapist about it.
Maybe I should see one. But who would I ask about it? Who would set up an appointment?
Who would drive me there? Well, mom would.
It's not like I need to see a therapist anyway.
At some point, while Buffy was still sobbing in my arms, I felt a draft and remembered the
door was still wide open. I wonder if anyone walked by our house and saw us like that.
I wonder what they would've thought.
"Oh look, there are those poor Summers girls who just lost their mother. Boo hoo."
Like they'd understand. So, I got up and shut the door. Buffy sat against the wall by the
doorway and started trembling. Well, at first she was shaking a lot harder.
But now it's become a customary tremble.
I wonder how long we've been sitting like this. My back hurts from the hard floor. But I
can't get up. I can't let Buffy sit here alone. I don't know what I'm doing to help her
but ...still. I take her hand in mine and squeeze it. Even her fingers and shaking. I
lean against her and close my eyes. I'm so tired. I don't think I've slept in days. I
haven't really eaten either, which probably isn't good.
As I begin to doze off I hear Buffy start to cry again. Not a sob this time, just a murmur.
It makes me want to cry. I feel terrible for accusing her the way I did. But it's done,
and maybe, just maybe, it was for the best.
Then before I know it I feel a hand on my shoulder. I open my eyes and see Willow
staring down at me. I look outside. The sun is rising.
"Hey Dawnie," she coos. Usually I hate being talked to like I'm a child. But right now
I feel like one.
I rub my eyes and mumble that I'm going to go upstairs to sleep. That makes Willow
smile a little, which I guess is good.
I turn to look at Buffy.
Giles is kneeling down beside her. She's still shaking. He pushes her hair from her face
and as he looks at her, concern, pain, and understanding outline his features. I look down
and realise I'm still holding Buffy's hand. I squeeze it one more time and slowly get up.
My bones are all achy. As I walk slowly upstairs I see Giles scoop Buffy up in his arms and
places her gently on the couch. He holds her, and she starts to cry again. I turn and
continue step by step up to my bed, which is the only place I want to be right now.
He'll take care of her. And I'll just keep going.
Step by step.