Disclaimer: I do not own Slam dunk or its characters
Love is blind.
And all that shit.
Do I sound cynical? Do I sound like the old, dried-up, shriveled spinster left on the shelf; so jaded, broken and bitter with the world? Well, fear not, I just happen to have a hidden flair for dramatics. I say "hidden" because everyone sees me, Ayako, as the sensible, down-to earth team manageress of the Shohoku basketball team. Smart, feisty, supposedly popular… … I don't think people really know who I am. But I don't blame them, I think language fails us all and people will never really know who the other truly is.
But anyway, love is blind and all that shit. There's this guy in school, Miyagi Ryota, he's crazy about me. He worships the ground I walk upon and loses his wit when I come near. It's all really flattering… … but love must be blind because no matter how many times I hit him on the head with my trusty paper fan, he still adores me, even when I don't reciprocate his actions.
My girlfriends giggle and tease me about him. They say he's my boyfriend and that I'm just too stubborn to admit it. They claim that I just haven't realized it yet and that when I'm finally ready to accept the idea of having a boyfriend, I would be so lucky because I already have one waiting for me.
What kind of warped logic is that?
Firstly, I do want a boyfriend. Maybe it's that natural animalistic instinct in us, maybe it's my biological clock ticking, but I do sincerely want someone to share my life with. The thing is, I can't force myself to love Miyagi. He's… just not what I want.
I try to rationalize it in my head. I see Ryota's qualities and I know he'd make an excellent boyfriend. He's terribly devoted and he'd never try to hurt me.
But I can't. I look at him and I see a classmate. I see my teammate, I see my friend.
Maybe it's all a divine joke from the gods. Place two people on earth, make them suitable for each other but make sure one of them can't fall in love with the other.
Ha ha. Very funny. Hilarious, really.
I think Ryota and I are both trapped. I'm not incapable of love. Like Ryota, I dream of finding someone. I pretend there's that special guy for me, I close my eyes and imagine holding hands with my "boyfriend", cuddling with him. But I know when I open my eyes, he's not there. But I still idealize over my dream man and keep hoping that I'll meet him some day.
We are trapped, Ryota and I, caught in our own web. We both love someone who does not exist.
Author's note: I don't know if I should make this a one-shot or continue this. Anyway do review and let me know your thoughts. Feel free to give any criticisms that you might think would help with the flow of the story.