My second SVU fic, but this one is another one-shot! Also, my first Casey/John fic! I dunno, I just rationalize that since Elliot and Olivia belong together, Casey and John should go together, something like that! Don't ask me how my brain works, I'm not sure I know! Well, hope you like it! Oh, and the song that I use is "All We'd Ever Need" by Lady Antebellum. I get to see them in concert on August 22 with Kenny Chesney, Sugarland, Montgomery Gentry and Miranda Lambert! For the lyrics, the bolded words are Hilary singing, the girl, and the underlined words are Charles singing, the lead singer. Wow, that's a lot of talking! Now you can enjoy!!!
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Boy it's been all this time
And I can't get you off my mind
Nobody knows it but me
I
stare at your photograph
Still sleep in the shirt you left
Nobody knows it but me
Every day I wipe my tears away
So many nights I've prayed for you to say
Casey sighed as she shut the door to her dinky apartment in Philadelphia. Her mind had told her to move farther away from New York than Philadelphia, but her heart just wouldn't let her go much farther. She was now a debater on the news, on a half-hour show where politicians came on and debated with her, and she was always on the other side of their opinions, no matter if they really were her opinions or not.
And she was not happy.
But everyday she went to work and pretended like she was the happiest person on earth. But in truth, she missed her work as an ADA, she missed her friends and coworkers, like Melinda and Olivia, and the nights they spent drowning their sorrows in beer and spilling all their secrets.
She missed Fin and his quirky comebacks and the way he tended to make her think of a famous rapper. She missed Elliot and arguing with him, all in good fun of course, but still. She missed Don, and the half-parental relationship he had going with her. She even missed Huang and his expert testimony, and the way he always seemed to know that something was wrong, though that unnerved her, but she still missed it all.
But like Liz had told her, she couldn't go back. And when Judge Donnely told you something like that and meant it as a friend and as a Judge, then she should take her advice. And she had. She was sitting in her cold, unfriendly apartment, alone and bitter.
And there was one person that she missed the most. Casey had refused to let herself think about him, but now, why the hell not? Detective John Munch was the person she was missing the most. They had something, but neither of them knew what it was and neither of them knew what to do about it.
For years they had tap-danced around each other, neither of them wanting to believe that someone like the other could love them. "That makes absolutely no sense, Casey." She berated herself, and slumped back in her couch, flipping the TV on, and watching the rerun of her show.
Even thought it had been a year since she had left, Casey still missed John like it was yesterday. And she knew that it would never get any better. As the clock crept closer to midnight, she knew that she should get to bed, and suddenly she was dead-tired.
I should've been chasing you
I should've been trying to prove
That you were all that mattered to me
I should've said all the things
That I kept inside of me
And maybe I could've made you believe
That what we had was all we'd ever need
She walked into her bedroom and saw the shirt that John had accidentally left at her apartment a week before she had left. After everything that had happened, he had come to her apartment, for no apparent reason.
She had let him in, and before she knew it, he had her pinned against the wall, his lips on hers. She had yanked his shirt over his head and tossed it somewhere, and when she was packing up she had discovered it behind her TV. She had packed it, not knowing why but knowing that she had to.
She also had a picture of him and her that Olivia had taken when the squad had gone out for drinks. He had his arm around her and they were both laughing at one of his stupid yet extremely funny politician jokes.
"If only you could see me now, John." Casey thought wryly, imagining his reaction if he knew she was debating with politicians for a living.
As she turned on her side, seeing that picture propped up on the bed table, she felt the tears pool in her eyes that she had refused to shed, even when she left. But now, her defenses all broke down and she cried unashamedly into her pillow, as there was no one around to see her, but at the same time, there was no one around to catch her as she fell.
Casey slowly drifted into a restless sleep, dreaming of the moment she left. She had been procrastinating all day, hoping that just maybe John would come and tell her not to leave. That was all it would take for her to not leave, for him to tell her not to go, and she would stay in an instant.
But when he didn't come, she figured that he wasn't coming, and got in her car and drove to Philadelphia, where she had an apartment that a friend was letting her rent. And every night since she had prayed for him to call her and tell her to come home. But every night, the phone stayed silent except for a few times where the station had called to tell her of a change in plans or whatnot.
There had been a time where Casey Novak thought that what she had with Munch was all she'd ever need. But then, he had let her go, and now, she didn't believe that.
My friends think I'm moving on
But the truth is that I'm not that strong
And nobody knows it but me
And I've kept all the words you said
In a box underneath my bed
And nobody knows it but me
But if you're happy I'll get through somehow
But the truth is that I've been screaming out
Back in New York, John lay in his own lonely, cold bedroom, staring at the ceiling and, as they did every night, his thoughts strayed to the former red-head that had stolen his heart, and then disappeared. He knew that she had to leave, but still, he wanted her to stay so bad. He had never told her that he loved her, and now he regretted that every single lonely day of his lonely life.
But he kept up the 'I'm okay' façade at the precinct, and Elliot, Fin and Cragen all thought he was moving on. Everyone knew by now that John and Casey had had something, but now, since she was gone, they figured that he was gonna be okay.
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End of the first chapter of this now two-shot! Next chapter'll be up soon, as soon as I get it written, that is! Let me know if you liked this, or what was wrong with it, please! Thanks for reading, and bye for now!!!