Bonnie sat in the report room; her attempt to fill out her report was going nowhere. As she tried to fill out the papers in front of her, her mind kept going back to the young married couple, who was now her new neighbors. Focusing again on the last speeding ticket, she remembered the drunk driver...
"Officer, I can explain my speeding. My wife just had to go to the store. She just wouldn't take no for an answer. She knew I had been drinking a little, but she just had to go."
"Step out of the car, Sir. How much have you had to drink?"
The man got out of the car and started to yell at his wife. "It's all your fault. If we had stayed home like I wanted to, this wouldn't be happening."
As Bonnie arrested the man for drunk driving and speeding, she started to think how much they reminded her of her new neighbors. She started to think of the meeting she had with Mary and James last weekend.
Bonnie stopped to talk to Mary just outside of their apartment.
"Hi, Mary. I see it's laundry day today."
"Hi, Bonnie," Mary said as she put down the heavy laundry basket.
Bonnie couldn't help but think she had never seen blue eyes that dark before. Mary pulled her long blond hair back into a ponytail and tied it back.
"I don't know how you can stand that long hair in this California heat," Bonnie said.
Mary looked up at Bonnie, " I would love to cut it, but James said he likes it long and I can't cut it or he will divorce me...or so he says."
Bonnie noticed that Mary never made eye contact with any one on the weekends when her truck-driving husband was home. In fact, Mary almost never came out of her apartment, and when she did, she looked sad and at times afraid. Mary was a little over weight but still a very pretty lady.
"Oh, Bonnie, I see you are off work today. So are those cute guys going to come over again tonight? You know, they are there a lot any more," Mary said laughing.
Bonnie smiled. "Oh, those guys are some of my co-workers. They're motor cops and the best team the CHP has. But don't tell them I said that. I just needed them to help me paint my apartment last weekend." Bonnie smiled again as she thought back to when she asked Jon and Ponch to help her. "It sure took a lot of talking to get them to do it. Now Mary, stop trying to get me married off."
As both ladies started to laugh, the door swing open. Bonnie couldn't help but notice how Mary's face suddenly had a look of terror on it.
Walking through the door, James began to yell at Mary.
"You know I need the clothes washed today! I have to be ready to leave on a run early in the morning and you standing here talking isn't getting them done! You're so lazy, all you have to do all day long is talk to the neighbors or watch TV. The least you could do is have my clothes washed for me."
James ripped the pair of jeans he held in his hands and threw them down on the laundry basket.
"I thought I told you to sew these up a week ago. Now maybe you'll sew those before I leave in the morning."
James' six-foot height towered over Mary. He smoothed back his dark brown hair to let her see the fury in his brown eyes.
Mary thought to herself how much older he looked than then his 29 years.
"You can gossip later. I want some things done...Now!"
James walked back in the apartment, slamming the door behind him.
"I'm sorry, Bonnie, I need to get some things done. I'll talk to you later."
Bonnie simply watched as Mary quickly went towards the laundry room.
Coming back to the present, Bonnie went to the break room to get a cup of coffee. Sitting down at her report, once again her mind went back to Mary and James.
Bonnie stood at the dumpster and watched James come out of his apartment with albums in his hands and Mary following behind him, crying,
"Please, James! Don't throw away my albums! I promise it will never happen again."
"I told you what I would do if you played these albums while I was at home," James yelled back at her. "I'm the head of this house! You will do as I say!" His voice, like his eyes showed the anger within him.
Grabbing hold of James' arm, Mary tried to take the albums away from him.
"You know they're the only things I have left of my twin brother who was killed in the army." Tears ran down her face as Mary pleaded, "Please give them back."
Pushing Mary away, James yelled, "If you know what's good for you, you will go back in the apartment before you get hurt."
Fearing it was of no use to try any longer, Mary ran back into the apartment.
Bonnie watched silently as James finished throwing the albums away. With anger in her own eyes, she looked at James.
"She is always making me look mean," he said to Bonnie. "I'm not really. She just does that in front of others, so I look mean. It's Mary that causes the trouble. She is always making me mad." With that said, James turned and headed back towards the apartment.
Standing on an old chair that someone had thrown away, Bonnie was able to reach the albums with ease. She smiled as she took hold of each album.
"I'll just wait till he goes on a run," she said to herself, "then I'll take these to Mary."
Just then, Jon and Ponch walked in., bringing Bonnie back to the present.
"Hey, Bonnie. What's wrong? You've been looking at that report for an hour now."
Jon laid some reports on the table that needed filling out, while Ponch went for some coffee. He looked at Bonnie, with a worried look on his face. "Is something wrong? I've been in here twice and you didn't even notice someone was in the room. You seem out of it today, is there something I can do to help?"
"Hey, Bonnie." Ponch set down a cup of coffee. "I thought you might need some coffee too." Sitting down to fill out some paper work, Ponch looked over at Bonnie with a worried look on his handsome face. "You know, Bonnie, our job is a hard and dangerous one. You have to stay with it, or something bad could happen. There is no room for mistakes because your mind isn't on your job. You don't seem to be with it today. It's like you're a million miles away...Is there something you need to talk to a friend about? You know, me and Jon are here for you, if you do."
Seeing the worried looks on Ponch and Jon's face, Bonnie smiled, "I'm fine really I am. I'm just so concerned about my neighbors, Mary, and her husband James. He is so mean to her, It's like there is abuse...I've never seen a bruise on her. I want to help her, but I don't know how to go about it."
Jon and Ponch listened to Bonnie as she told of the things she had seen and heard about Mary and James.
Jon's blue eyes showed much concern, as he started to talk. "Sounds like an abusive person to me, and one that will not like having someone mess with his marriage. You could get hurt, Bonnie, please be careful."
Ponch looked up from his report. "Bonnie, have you investigated this guy? If you were to run a check on his tags maybe you could find out more about who you're dealing with. You know, if you need our help, me and Jon are always willing to help you."
Bonnie looked over at Ponch. "Thanks, Ponch, I haven't even thought about that. I'll run a check on his tags first thing tomorrow morning and see what we can find out about him."
The three finished their reports, then headed for home. As they walked through the parking lot, Bonnie stopped. "Hey guys, want to come over tonight for some pizza and beer? I really need to talk to someone."
Jon smiled as he turned towards Bonnie "Yeah, sure. We'll be there about seven, okay?"
Mary was in the kitchen doing the breakfast dishes when James came in with her make-up case, throwing the jars of make-up toward the wall next to her. Mary turned to see the make-up running down the wall, and onto the sink...broken glass was everywhere.
Turning around to face James, she boldly asked, "What is your problem?"
From the anger on James' face, it was clear to see that his eyes were dark with rage. He took the lipstick out and, as if stabbing the wall, he broke the tube off, then threw the empty case at Mary, hitting one of the glasses on the sink and breaking it.
Mary felt caged in. There was no way of getting away from James, as he had the only way out of the corner blocked.
"Stop it James! You're acting like a small child," Mary tried not to show any fear to James, as he seem to thrive off the fear of others.
As he picked up another jar and threw it, Mary jumped out of the way. The glass jar hit the window above the sink, spilling the contents all over he curtains. James threw the eye shadow down and stomped on it.
"Why can't you do as I say? Your whole brain could fit in my little finger. Why did I have to married such a dumb bitch? James yelled angrily.
With tears running down Mary's face, fear set in. "James, what is wrong with you? Why are you acting this way?"
"See? What do you think of someone using your things? I told you to never use my razors but you went ahead and did it anyways. Now look! You caused me to cut my face shaving!"
Mary looked at James with anger in her eyes. "What? Your girlfriend doesn't like cut faces?" Mary moved out of the way just as the make-up case came flying at her.
"I'm going out to drink with some friends...why are you so dumb? Have this place clean before I come back," James ordered.
Mary was relieved and happy to see him leave.
I wish you would leave and never come back, she thought.
Soon after James left, Mary heard a knock on the door. Still upset from what had just happened Mary opened the door. It was Bonnie.
Bonnie gasped when she saw the look on Mary's face.
"Mary, are you ok? What's wrong? Why are you shaking?"
Bonnie walked in and took the shaken Mary by the arm. " Tell me what happened!"
"I'm ok, Bonnie, just having a bad day I guess. I was going to throw out some old make-up but it fell out of my hands, and is now all over the kitchen, Be careful and watch where you step."
Looking around the kitchen, Bonnie questioned what really happened. The make-up ran down the walls and cabinets. Broken glass lay everywhere. The eye shadow case lay crushed to pieces on the floor.
"Here, let me help you clean this mess up," Bonnie offered. "Mary, what really happened here? Did James hit you? Why are you lying for him? Why did he do this?" She took Mary by the arm. "Come on, let's sit down, and I want you to tell me what happened, and I want the truth."
Mary walked over to the table and began to tell her story.
"It's my fault. I should not have used his razors. I'm always doing things that make him mad. He wouldn't be so mean if I didn't do the things he says not to do."
The anger showed in Bonnie's voice. "NOW, you listen to me...James has a bad temper. It is his fault, NOT yours! You did nothing to deserve this! You need to get away from him before he hurts you."
Mary looked at Bonnie with a wishful look on her face. "Oh, Bonnie! I have often wished I could leave him, but I've nowhere to go."
"You know if you need a safe place to come to you can always come over to my place. Mary, I'm going to have some friends over for dinner. If James is on a run, why don't you come over to join us? It's just some friends getting together and having a good time."
"James will be leaving in the morning on a run, he should be gone for a week or two." Mary thought to herself, I hope. "I would love to come over. Thank you, Bonnie, for asking me."
Mary watched as Bonnie left, thankful for the friend she had in Bonnie.
Later that night James came home drunk, and started in on Mary the minute he walked into the door. "Why don't you have dinner ready? You're just lazy," he yelled again. He walked into the living room and turned off the TV. "NOW, go get me something to eat!"
"I didn't know when you would be home, so I didn't make dinner," Mary replied.
"Well, lazy, make it now!"
Standing at the kitchen window, Mary watched as Jon and Ponch walked into Bonnie's apartment. She never noticed James standing behind her as she watched.
James grabbed hold of Mary's arm and spun towards him. "Don't think I haven't noticed how you look at that dark haired guy that goes over to that lady cop's place," he sneered.
"Let go of my arm, James," Mary cried. "You're hurting me."
James shoved Mary against the stove. "Do you really think you would have a chance with a man like him? Well I'm telling you, you don't. He wouldn't look at you twice. You really think he would want a lazy, dumb, fat, bitch like you? Only a drunk would have any thing to do with you. I'm the only man that would have you."
The angry rose in James, the alcohol making him brave as he held onto Mary's hand tightly. James couldn't help himself as he lifted his hand and slapped Mary across the face. "I'm your husband. A good wife would not look at another man. You're lucky I don't spread your little brain across the wall.
"Maybe a good wife that has a good husband wouldn't, but one that has an ass hole for a husband would." Mary felt James ease up on his grip and she fought to get loose from his grip. Finally free of his grasp, she ran to the door, hoping she could stay away long enough for him to pass out.
James was right behind her though, grabbing hold of her long blond hair and twisting it around his hand. Once again, James once had a hold on Mary.
Mary started to yell, the fear in her voice evident as the tears ran down her face. She pleaded with him, "James, let go of me. You're hurting me. Please let go! I will never look at another man. I promise! Please let me go!"
James pushed Mary into the bedroom pushing her on the bed, "I told you I'm your husband." He pinned her down and started to take off her clothes.
"Stop, James! Please! You're hurting me! I can't breath! Please stop!"
James held his arm on Mary's throat, putting his full weight on her. Mary could not get away from him.
"James get off me," she cried as the tears fell. Mary could see no love in his eyes or feel no love in his touch. Finally, when he passed out, Mary pushed him off her quickly, got dressed, and ran into the living room. Lying on the couch, she cried herself to sleep.
Mary woke to the sound of the door slamming. She watched as James left for work.
"I hope you never come back," she said aloud. "I hate you. There's no love in you for me, and there's no love in me for you."
Maybe I'm not a good wife...Maybe James is right...I shouldn't have looked at the dark haired guy over at Bonnie's. Mary's thoughts were confusing as she started to blame herself, again, for what had happened.
Taking her seat just before morning briefing, Bonnie whispered to Grossman, "Grossie, I need you to do me a favor. Please meet me in the break room after briefing.
Grossman shook his head yes and wondered what was up.
After the briefing, Grossie walk into the break room. "Bonnie, you need me?"
"Oh yes, Grossie, I need you to do some research for me. I need to know about abuse but not necessarily physical abuse. I know you're busy, but can you do this for me? I really do need this information, and by tonight, if you can, please, Grossie."
Grossman listen to Bonnie as she told him about her neighbors and how she suspected abuse.
"Sure, Bonnie, I'll get on it right away."
Sitting in the report room, Bonnie, Jon and Ponch were filling out their last reports of the day when Grossman walked in.
"Bonnie, I found some reports on emotional abuse."
Looking up from her report, Bonnie offered the man a grateful smile. "Great, Grossie, I knew you could do it. Tell me what you found."
Sitting down at the table with a cup of coffee in one hand and papers in the other, Grossman began to show her the papers he had found on the subject:
Ponch leaned in close to view the papers for himself, asking, "Does it say what some of the indicators of possible emotional abuse are?"
"Right here, Ponch." Grossman pointed to the place on the paper with the information...
"Does this help?" Grossie asked Bonnie.
"Yes, it helps, and it fits. Now how can I help Mary get away from James?"
Jon shook his head, knowing Bonnie was playing with fire now. "Bonnie I know you want to help, but you can't not until she asks for help. Remember...they are married. Does Mary want to get away from James?"
"I can't just stand by and do nothing, Jon."
Bonnie knew Jon was right, but she had to try to get Mary to see what was happening to her and to talk her into getting out now, while she still could. She looked at the guys. "I've got an idea...I have already asked Mary to come over for dinner tonight and she said she would. I want you guys to come over to dinner tonight too and you can meet Mary, and help me try to talk to her."
"Well Jon and I will be there, Bonnie, right, Jon?" Ponch asked.
"Yeah, we will be there." Jon looked over at Bonnie. "I just hope you don't get hurt. This James guy might not like you interfering with his marriage...All I'm saying is, please, be careful, Bonnie."
Bonnie looked at Jon with a warm smile. She had always felt close to these guys. They were like having two older brothers who were always looking out for their little sister.
Bonnie called over to Jon and Ponch before leaving work "Don't forget, guys, you're coming to my place for dinner tonight."
"Oh I would never forget a free home cooked meal," Ponch said with a big smile.
Bonnie was busy getting things ready when Mary knocked on the door.
"Hi, Bonnie, I came early to help you with dinner."
"Great! You want to set the table? The guys will be here soon."
Soon, they had finished and all that remained to do was to wait for Jon and Ponch to show up.
Sitting on the couch, Bonnie asked Mary, "When is James going to leave for work and how long he will be gone?"
"He left Tuesday morning, and I think he'll be gone for a week."
"Oh, okay, I thought he left on Tuesday. It's hard to tell...I mean, I know he stays at a friend's sometimes, before he leaves on a run. I gave him a speeding ticket Tuesday evening is why I was asking," Bonnie explained.
Mary laughed. "I bet he liked that!"
"I saw this light blue Ford LTD go by me," Bonnie began as she thought back to that Tuesday night meeting with James. "I don't think he even noticed he passed a cop as he was going 85. It took me about several minutes to get him to pull over. As I walked over to the car, I knew who it was I had stopped. When James looked at me, anger was clearly showing clearly on his face..."
"You...I had to get stopped by you. You're the reason Mary doesn't act like her old sweet self. All the crazy ideas you put in her head! It will be all your fault if something bad happen s to her," James leered at Bonnie. "Tell you what...I'll show you a good time if you don't write the ticket. I'll be the best you ever had. After all, I've heard all you had to do for a lady cop was offer them a good time and they would forget the ticket."
"Any time with you would NOT be a good time," Bonnie said, "and I'll remember what you said about Mary getting hurt, and let me tell you right now, if any thing bad happens to her...YOU will be the first person the LAPD will come see."
When Bonnie was done telling her story she looked back at Mary.
"He doesn't like cops much, does he?" Bonnie asked.
"He doesn't like women doing a man's job, is what he is always saying about you and what you do," Mary said.
Just about then, Jon and Ponch showed up at Bonnie's front door.
Sitting at the table beside Ponch, Mary couldn't help but wonder, if she wasn't married, if the two handsome men would be interested in her.
They sure are cute, she thought, but then her thoughts turned to guilt. I'm married. I shouldn't be thinking this way, she told herself.
Mary found it easy to talk to Ponch as he told of his many stories about being a highway patrol officer.
After dinner Bonnie said, "Let's worry about the dishes later, and go into the living room and talk."
Once they had settled on the couch, Bonnie turned to Mary.
"Mary, why do you put up with the way James treats you?" Bonnie asked.
Mary looked sad as she started to talk. "I'm not like you are, Bonnie. I never finished school...I don't have any kind of job training. I don't think I could live on my own, like you do. I'm not smart like you are," Mary said.
Ponch sat down beside Mary and offered her a glass of wine, hoping he could say the right things to help her.
"Mary, now is the time to get out...now...before there's any kids. We can help you...all you will need is to get your GED and we can help you with that. There is a job out there that you can do. There's lots of job training you can look into," Ponch told her.
"Ponch, you don't understand. I have no one to turn to. All my family lives in Ohio and are ashamed of me. They would never let me come back home. There's no place I could stay while training for a job, and James would never let me forget a woman's place is in the home. He is always saying that."
The mixture of wine, soft music, and having friends who seemed to care started to relax Mary as she continued...
"There's no way out. The only one who would take care of me is James, and the only man who would love me is James." With tears rolling down her face, Mary finally admitted, "I don't love James any more, and I hate the way I have to live."
Jon walked over to Mary and put his hand on hers.
"Mary, you keep saying your family is ashamed of you, that you can't go back home. Did they tell you that? Or is it James that keeps telling you this?...See, Mary, you have listened to him for so long that you don't even know what the truth is and I'm only guessing, but how often do you talk to your family with James not around to hear all that you say?"
Mary looked over at Jon. "He is always there. I don't talk to them much. It costs too much to call long distance."
"Look, Mary, James is an abuser. You need to get out now, while you can," Bonnie said.
"But James always said I couldn't call him an abuser cause he never hits me," Mary said with tears in her eyes.
Ponch looked at Mary. "No, love, there is a thing called 'emotional abuse'. That is what James does to you."
"Mary, why don't you call someone in your family? I'll pay for the call, and see if you aren't wrong about how ashamed they are of you. You don't know, they might want you home after all," Bonnie said. She handed the phone to Mary. "Here, you call your family. We'll go on in the kitchen and start to clean up."
Minutes later, Mary walked into the kitchen. "I¼ I just talked to my older sister. She said no one in the family was ashamed of me...and they all were hoping one day I would leave James. She said I could stay with her, till I can get on my feet." Her face held a look of disbelief and relief at the same time.
"Great!" Ponch said with a smile. "Now, let's see, when does the next plane leave for Ohio?" Ponch picked up the phone to call the airport for a ticket..."There's a plane for Ohio tomorrow morning."
"But I don't have the money for a ticket," Mary said uncertainly.
Jon walked over to Mary and gave her a big hug. "Don't worry, we'll pay for the ticket. After all, it's a part of our job to give tickets."
There were tears and laughter but Mary felt good about herself for the first time in a very long time.
Bonnie stayed the night to help Mary pack her few belongings for her trip home. By the next morning, Jon and Ponch arrived to escort the two women to the airport.
Standing by the airport gate, Mary said good bye to her friends, giving each a hug and thanking them for the friendship they had offered her. Her emotions were all mixed up, but still she knew this was the right thing to do.
As she started to leave, Ponch commented to the others, "I know she'll make it."
One year later...
Bonnie walked in to the filing room where she found Jon and Ponch.
"Hi guys, I just got a letter from Mary. I thought you two would like to see what it says." Bonnie sat down and started to read the later.
With tears in her eyes, Bonnie looked up at Jon and Ponch.
Ponch simply said, almost in a whisper, "I knew she could do it..."
Note from the author...
Someone once gave me a little ray of hope.
I hope, with this story, I can give someone else a little ray of hope...
Like all abuse, emotional abuse is based on power and control.
The following are forms of emotional abuse:
They are rejecting. Refusing to acknowledge a person's value or worth.
Degrading, insulting, ridiculing, name-calling.
Isolating. Restricting normal contact with others.
The person being abuse would show signs of:
Depression
Withdrawal
Low self esteem
Fearfulness
Feelings of shame or guilt
Self blame
Avoidance of eye contact.
Dear Bonnie,
I just wanted to let you know how I was doing. I got my GED the first month I came home. And next week I will be graduating from nursing school. I will soon be an LPN.
I want to thank you, Jon, and Ponch, for your friendship, and for the hope you gave me. Without your help, I would never have tried to make a better life for myself.
You gave me hope when I had none. Thank you for my second chance for happiness.
May God Bless my three angel cops.
Love, Mary
If you are being abused, please remember this...
You are not alone.
It's NOT your fault.
NO one deserves to be abused.
There is help out there.