A/N: If you have stumbled upon this I encourage you to read and hope that you enjoy! Gossip Girl: I Showed Her is just a little project I started to help me cope with the span between the Riding In Towncars With Boys and The End of The Affair. I wanted to write a simple DATE fic, but as I began writing it started to develop a life of it's own. Though the Dan/Nate relationship is central to the story at this point, and the focus is a little Nate heavy, all NJBC perspectives are explored in somewhat equal or lesser extents. As story arcs develop on their own, and I do mean on their own (I find myself gasping/getting upset/cheering as the story develops in front of me, is that weird?) I am sure focus will change accordingly. The action here picks up a few days before New Years Eve, post Riding In Towncars With Boys.

GOSSIP GIRL: I SHOWED HER

CHAPTER 1: The Dilemma

PART I

Spotted: Nate Archibald, high as a kite but feeling a little down in the dumps. It seems as though the Upper East Side's resident Golden Boy has been feeling a little tarnished as of late. For someone so athletic he sure has fumbled a lot lately. Filling the shoes of editor-in-chief of The Spectator has done nothing to fill the void in his heart. But if we have learned anything over the years it's that it won't be long until Nate takes a fall. Sometimes he falls in love, but most times he just falls into someone's bed. Which will it be this time N? Only time will tell. You know I'll be watching and waiting.

Nate Archibald needed a win under his belt. Sitting in the blue glow of his laptop screen in his modest office at The Spectator, the joint he had just finished smoking, remains of which were hanging precariously off the edge of his desk, had left him in an oddly self-reflective mood. Anybody who knew him would tell you that Nate Archibald is not wont to find himself in a self-reflective mood. Perhaps that was part of the problem? He wasn't sure. What he was sure of was that he couldn't seem to escape the feeling within him that he was missing something. Ever since graduating from St. Jude's the feeling had just grown larger and more pervasive within him, demanding attention. Running away from it with Chuck never seemed to work. Burying it under the sheets with romantic blunder after blunder didn't seem to help either. The last time he could remember the feeling being somewhat satiated was when he had found himself back with Serena. A smile curls across his lips at that.

He picked the joint up and slipped it between his lips, relighting it with a gold monogrammed lighter Serena had given him as part of his birthday present, along with a quarter ounce of weed and a ridiculous Roor bong, the year before. Exhaling, he noticed his thoughts coalescing into metaphors and meandering down alleyways hitherto unexplored. This is some good shit, he remarked to himself, throwing his feet up on the desk. Nate Archibald was like a meringue; pretty, light, easy, and (if this feeling within him was any indication), empty. He felt thoroughly outpaced by the other courses being offered on the buffet table of his life. Chuck was fugu; dangerous, exhilarating, and best if consumed in moderate doses. Bittersweet and decadent, Blair was a chocolate truffle. Serena was, of course, champagne, effervescent, endlessly intoxicating, and enlivening. Nate was just there, something to be popped into the mouth on your way out. Something to tide you over as you waited for something more…substantial.

All the smoking and food metaphors had left Nate more than a little peckish. He reached down and opened the drawer of his desk to find his munchie stash completely depleted, nothing but an empty bag of Sour Patch Kids remaining. Closing the drawer, Nate picked up his phone. Maybe someone would be down to get something to eat. Scrolling through the numbers in his phone he found his options somewhat limited - Chuck was inevitably brooding and subsisting on scotch, what with Blair's impending nuptials happening in just over a week. Blair herself was already in Monaco, with Louis, probably breaking in the entire Grimaldi household staff. His thumb settled on Serena, he dialed.

Three rings later she picked up, her voice full of laughter. "Nate!"

"Uh, hey, Serena. What are you up to?" He found himself smiling into the phone. Her laughter was always so infectious.

"Actually," There was almost imperceptible pause. "I'm with Dan. What's up?"

"Oh, I was just wondering if you wanted to get a bite to eat. Dan's more than welcome to come along, of

course." He sat up and loosened his tie a bit. Suddenly it was getting a little warm.

"Hold on," Nate could hear Serena tell Dan that it was him before saying, "We just ordered some pizza and were just about to start watching Downton Abbey, wanna come over?"

Nate paused for a second. Whatever Downton Abbey was, it sounded like something Dan would watch with Blair, which means he was going to need to be intoxicated to get through it without fidgeting. "Sure thing, I'll be there soon."

"Bring champagne!" Apparently Serena was on the same page.

"Way ahead of you." He laughed.

After hanging up the phone and throwing on his jacket, Nate realized that he hadn't included Dan in his metaphor. It didn't take him long to think of an answer. Dan was definitely mac and cheese; warm, comforting, and always a welcome treat.

A change of clothes (How does Chuck spend all day in a suit?), another spliff (Man, this is some really, really good shit..), and a trip to the liquor store later, Nate arrived at Dan's loft. It had been a long while since he had last been there. In fact, the last time he could remember being there was a year or two ago. Things had just gotten so crazy lately, and to be honest, his miniscule role in Inside had really bruised his ego. As he ascended the last few steps to Dan's door, Nate's stomach churned a little bit. It would be nice to spend some quality time with Dan again, he was definitely a calming influence.

A knock on the door and seconds later he was greeted by Serena's smiling face. He smiled back at her. She looked impeccable, as usual, hair tied back into a tight bun, large dangling earrings, and an outfit of desert tones. "Hey!" he said, wrapping an arm around her. Dan was in the kitchen getting plates out of the cupboard.

"Dan was actually just telling me about the time that you nearly fell off the fire escape." She started to laugh. "Did you really think you could fly? " Nate blushed. Two years ago he had dropped some acid with Chuck and wound up at Dan's, much to Dan's chagrin. He was under the delusion that a pigeon had spoken to him and told him that humans were able to fly but they just never took the time to try.

"Oh, God! Well, in my defense, I had never dropped that much acid before. Luckily Dan here was a great trip sitter." Nate's eyes met Dan's across the room as he removed his coat. He noticed the color flush in Dan's cheeks.

"Yeah, that was a pretty interesting night." Dan met Nate and Serena on the couch with pizza laden plates. "Interesting enough for me to invite him to move in two weeks later. How're you doing, man?" Putting the plates down on the coffee table, Dan offered his hand out to Nate.

"Oh, come here!" Nate said, placing down the plastic bags full of champagne, grabbing Dan's arm and pulling him in for a hug. "I like what you've done with the place." The place had hardly changed since Nate had lived there.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's start watching shall we?" Dan plopped down on the couch next to Serena who was folded into a corner, picking the cheese off of a slice of pizza. Nate took a seat next to him.

"Fire it up! But first…" Nate fished a bottle of Dom Perignon from the plastic bag.

"Yay!" Serena clapped her hands together.

"And…" After digging through his pocket for a second, Nate produced a thick joint.

"Yay!" Dan said, mocking Serena's tone. "It's been a while since I've enjoyed an expertly rolled Archibald joint."

"And believe me," Nate said as he fished around for his lighter, "this stuff will not disappoint. I'm one and a half sheets to the wind as it is. Primo stuff. Chuck's stash." He found the gold lighter.

"Oh, you still have that! I figured you may have lost it by now." Serena remarked.

"Nope, and I think of you every time I use it. Which is saying something." He said as he sparked the joint, the blue smoke framing his face. Being Golden Boy was a stressful job, and it was no secret that marijuana was Nate Archibald's medicine of choice. He passed the joint to Dan just as Downton Abbey began to play.

A bottle and a half and two joints later, Nate couldn't be entirely sure as he was pretty far gone, but it seemed to him that this Downton Abbey was an old fashioned UK version of Serena and Dan. From what he could gather. He could be wrong, the subject matter seemed pretty dense to him. Resting his head on the back of the couch, he let his head roll to his right. Serena's legs were draped over Dan's lap, her stocking covered feet dangling in Nate's direction. Dan's hands rested on her lower thigh, a far away look on his face as he watched the TV. She sat up to pass the joint to Nate, her other hand pulling her hair out of her bun, the long blonde locks cascading over her shoulders. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Dan's eyes close. He must have been drinking in the scent of her hair. He used to do the same thing. His stomach did that churning thing again.

"I need some air." he said, getting up and heading to Dan's room where he could slip out onto the fire escape. Once outside he took a deep breathe and stretched. He couldn't decide if there was a weird energy inside or if he was just really high. He hadn't seen Dan and Serena together in a relaxed setting in a long time and he wondered if their intimacy was friendly or something else. He was curious as to why she had been at his place when he had called earlier. Why did he care? Wait, he cared because, technically, he was still hanging by her string. She never officially made a choice between he and Dan, she opted out. He sighed, running a hand through his hair. What was weird was that he felt something that he assumed was jealousy, but he knew he wasn't jealous of Dan. Somewhere along the line he had put enough distance between him and Serena to be out from under her, for the most part. He and her were a lot alike, the difference being that he wanted nothing more than to settle, to feel comfortable, while Serena ran the moment she realized that she had become so. Too much thinking, he told himself as he went to climb back into the loft.

It all happened in a moment. Looking back he wondered if he'd have been able to catch himself if he wasn't so wasted. But he was, and he didn't. He slipped. He slipped on Cedric of all things, who was, for some reason unbeknownst to him, on the floor. It would only be much later, when Dan found a little dried blood on his desk, that he would know that he smacked his head on his way down. But all he knew then was the sensation of the world slipping out from under him, a shooting pain to his head, and everything going black.

Part II

Nate Archibald's head usually only hurt like this after an evening with Chuck. He was a little scared to open his eyes and a little scared to roll over. If his night had ended with Chuck there would probably be some girl next to him giving him the eyes. He wasn't in the mood. He moaned and rolled over. The headache was too much to ignore, he would have to wake up to get some aspirin. Just five more minutes.

"He lives." said a voice in the room. Nate craned his neck and opened one eye in the direction of the voice. Right, he had been at Dan's last night. Dan turned away from the computer at his desk. "You know," Dan started, his lopsided grin spreading, "I really thought that if it came to blows between you and Cedric that you would win. But it seems like he really handed it to you."

Nate sat up too quickly and winced, bringing a hand to his head. "What happened?"

"I'm not really sure. You said you needed some air. Around ten minutes later Serena and I heard a thud and we didn't think anything of it. After - " Dan paused and something flashed through his eyes, "well, I came in here and found you and Cedric on the ground. You were looking worse for wear."

Nate realized that it was still dark outside. "How long was I out for?"

"Well, to be honest, I didn't come by to check on you for about another thirty minutes after the thud."

"Thanks…"

"But since I found you, it's been about two hours. I thought you'd be out 'til morning."

"Where's Serena?" he asks, realizing that he is topless.

"She left." Dan's answer was a little too quick and a little too short. Nate decided not to press any further.

"Dude, do you think I could get some aspirin?"

"Sure thing." Dan got up and quickly left the room. He was clad in nothing but a baggy salmon colored v-neck tshirt and grey trunks. The only light in the loft, other than the kitchen light that Dan had just flicked on, was coming from a lamp on Dan's desk. The light was warm and yellow - not one of those new bulbs. Shifting his weight, he realized that he was also without pants. He lifted the covers to check just as Dan came back in with the aspirin.

"Like I said, I thought you'd be out all night," he laughed, nodding toward a folded pile of Nate's clothes and shoes. He handed Nate the aspirin and a glass of water.

"Thanks, man. Do me another favor?"

Dan raised his eyebrows as if to ask what.

"My weed and some papers are in my jacket. I've a feeling aspirin isn't going to take the edge off entirely," he smirked, downing the glass of water.

Dan returned with the contraband, handed it to Nate, and sat back down in his chair, swiveling it in the other boy's direction. There was a comfortable silence as Nate rolled the joint and Dan flipped through his phone. He laughed.

"What?" Nate asked, his pink wet tongue running along the joint slowly.

Dan's smile faded as he watched Nate do this and shifted a bit in his chair. Nate raised his eyebrows questioningly. "Oh, Gossip Girl says that all is not well between Blair and Charlotte Casiraghi. Go figure. Apparently Charlotte was none too pleased when seeing her seat for the wedding." He lifted a leg up to his chest and rested his head on his knee. "I can't believe Blair is getting married."

"I know, right? That was supposed to be me! D'you have a lighter?"

Dan opened a drawer at his desk, fished out a lighter and tossed it to Nate. "I just…"

"I know, man. I get it." Nate inhaled, the sheets crumbled about him, a long leg poking out from under them.

Dan sighed. "Chuck?"

"We may not have hung out in a long time," he began to exhale but spoke through it, "But I'm not completely blind. I know you Dan, and I could see that wounded look you had on when you brought Chuck and Blair together that night." He motioned to Dan that it was his turn to hit the joint. Dan got up and sat next to Nate on his bed, one leg on, one leg hanging off the side.

"Right." Dan inhaled deeply, closing his eyes. The silence that followed was heavy but not altogether uncomfortable. Things were rarely uncomfortable between these two.

"Look, as long as she's happy, right?" Nate offered.

"Right." Dan passed the joint back to Nate.

"Dan, I…I know I haven't really been there for you in a while." It was his turn to inhale, "And I know I kind of chewed you out about Inside, but you're one of my best friends, and I'm here for you if you need me. If you need to, you know, talk."

Dan shifted on the bed, scooting a little closer to Nate and folding his legs Indian style. "It's just…how did I get here? How am I…how am I in love with…Blair? As if that weren't enough to deal with, why did Serena have to -" he paused, avoiding Nate's eyes.

"Why did Serena have to what?" It was Nate's turn to shift.

"We've been hanging out," Dan's head was facing down but he looked up at Nate. He didn't know why he felt guilty. Serena was, or had been, the love of his life. Being in love with Blair didn't change that. But he was always intimidated by the history between Nate and Serena. It was the stuff of myth, part of the legend. "I don't know how I feel about it."

Nate passed the joint and wondered if the pounding in his head got more intense from this news or because he was finally completely conscious. "Do you love her?"

Dan coughed, a dense cloud of smoke blowing from him. A coughing fit ensued.

Nate grabbed the water and handed it over, rubbing his back for a bit in slow circles as Dan recovered.

"Oh my God, I'm so high!" Dan smiled as he looked up at Nate, eyes blood shot and squinted. He chugged the remainder of the glass of water and laid down next to Nate, laughing. "Oh my Godddd…"

Nate started to laugh mid-inhale, resulting in his own fit of coughs, though less intense than Dan's.

"You can clip that, man. I'm good. There's still some champagne, you want some?" Dan asked as he got up from the bed. Nate nodded, handing Dan his glass.

Dan came back with two glasses and two plates of pizza. "I love Serena," he began, handing Nate a plate and a glass. "But I'm just at a point where I don't know if that's enough, you know? After Inside…I don't know. She seems determined to give things another shot. And why not? It's not like me and Blair are happening any time soon, or ever. In the off chance that she breaks things off with Louis…I mean she was set to be with Chuck before the accident. And she's still marrying Louis. She loves him, and more than that, he gives her everything she's ever wanted. If there's anything that I've learned it's that it takes a lot more than love to make things work," at this point Dan was laying next to Nate again, picking at the cheese on his slice of pizza.

Nate sat silently for a while, thinking over Dan's words. He felt that strange variety of jealousy again. He didn't really want to be with Serena anymore either, did he? And he and Blair would never work. He took a long swig of champagne before he responded. "Serena has a way of getting her hooks into you, dude. I should know. She's fun, she's sexy. But she has a way of making you feel like…like…"

"Like if you hold on too tight she'll disappear," Dan said, looking into Nate's azure colored eyes.

"This is why you're the writer," Nate chuckled. "Speaking of Inside…"

"Look, Nate, I'm sorry."

"No. Don't be. I'm sorry. I overreacted. I read it again and thought about it…it's not like I've done much in my life that is worth writing about. What have I done? Slept with a bunch of older women. That's a plot line that gets tired real fast. Heck, Eric is totally more interesting. I can't blame you. I don't give anyone a reason to think I'm anything more than a pretty face," he took another chug of champagne. The glass seemed to be bottomless.

Dan leaned into Nate, playfully shoving him. "You're more than just a pretty face, you're Golden Boy. Really though, you're selling yourself short."

"Am I , though? I've just been feeling a little...adrift. Serena was like an anchor, you know? An anchor to my past, a time when things were simpler and less, whatever they are now." Nate could feel Dan's huge brown eyes on him. He lifted his leg, the sheet falling away, revealing his entire thigh and a peak of his white briefs. He was too high to care, it was getting warm.

A long silence transpired between the two, both of them staring off into the distance. Nate slumped back into the pillows and was the first to break the spell.

"I've missed you, man." He looked up at Dan, smiling, placing a hand on his shoulder and squeezing it.

Dan grinned, leaning back onto the headboard. "I've missed you too."

PART III

Nate Archibald's nose itched. He scrunched it up a few times, trying to make it go away. He was so warm, and sleep was so heavy, he didn't want to move. But the itching persisted. He opened his eyes only to realize that it was the soft curls of Dan's hair that had itching his nose, and as consciousness slowly dawned on him he also realized that he had his arm wrapped around Dan. His brow furrowed. They were spooning. Dan was in the fetal position, a fist loosely curled around Nate's index finger. Wait, he thought to himself. How? Nate couldn't decide if he was freaked out by this, if he thought it was weird. The fact that he couldn't decide if he was freaked out, instead of just being freaked out, freaked him out. Nate didn't think there was anything wrong with gay people, or being gay in general. Hell, Chuck Bass was his best friend, he had no problem with equal opportunity players either. He just never thought…he was getting ahead of himself. None of this actually meant anything yet. He probably just rolled over and grabbed Dan like he often had to one of his pillows. A reflex. This thought calmed him. It calmed him enough for him to notice how wonderful Dan's hair smelled, and how soft the hand clasping his finger was. He was calm enough to enjoy, even for a second, the exquisite warmth that comes with a bedfellow, even if it was Dan Humphrey.

Dan murmured something and shifted in his sleep, his fist unclasping Nate's finger, only to intertwine with two more of them. Nate was scared to move. The sun was shining through the large windows in Dan's room, drenching it in warm light. The lamp was still on from last night. They must have dozed off. Nate felt that familiar tingling in the back of his nose, letting him know that he was about to sneeze. And he did, turning his face into the pillow. Dan jumped. Fuck..

Fingers slowly unlaced. Nate lifted his arm off of Dan, who rolled over and they both sat up, staring at each other silently for what seemed like an eternity.

"Did…did we..." Dan ran a hand through his hair, throwing his legs over the side of the bed, his back to Nate.

"Not unless you are in the habit of putting your clothes back on after, which I am certainly not."

Dan turned to face Nate. The rapidly changing emotions running through him were written on his face.

"It's not a big deal. Do you know how many times I've woken up to being Chuck's little spoon?"

Dan's face contorted. Nate laughed.

"I don't know what to…" Dan began.

"There's nothing to say. We fell asleep in the same bed. I must have rolled over and grabbed you in my sleep. We had a moment. Shit happens. What's for breakfast?" Nate stretched and got out of bed. Dan had never noticed Nate's ass before, but the sight of Nate in those Calvins made Dan wonder if he should make the switch back to tighty-whities himself.

"I could go for Veselka. You have the biggest bump on your head." Dan watched as Nate headed to the bathroom.

"Oh, fuck!" Nate screamed from the bathroom. "Wow, you weren't kidding!" Nate exclaimed. Quickly followed by the sound of him peeing. He walked back into the room. "Hey, do you have a t-shirt or something I could borrow?" He asked as he shimmied into his jeans.

"Er, not a clean one. Sorry."

"It doesn't matter, mine's got blood on it." He picked up a green sweater off of Dan's floor and threw it on. It smelled like Dan, who was still sitting at the edge of the bed, checking his phone.

"Serena wants to get brunch. At Pastis."

"Cool. Do you have an extra toothbrush?" Nate asked as he made his way to the bathroom again.

"In the medicine cabinet." Dan wasn't sure if the morning was developing too quickly for things to be weird or if things just weren't weird. Things had to be weird, right? He just woke up spooning, hand in hand with Nathaniel Archibald. The Golden Boy, Nathaniel Archibald. Better than Chuck, he thought to himself, cringing. Dan had never given much thought to his sexuality. He was fully in love with Serena by the time any of those questions would have arisen, and dating her by the time they would have started to become answers. And then there was Georgina, Olivia, and almost most regrettably, Vanessa, which was really just him trying to find a firm, safe place to stand. Or so he told himself. As he put on his clothes for the day, he figured that he was probably a 5 or 6 on the Kinsey scale. He couldn't pretend that an eyeful of sweaty Nate in the locker room post soccer didn't used to be a minor treat.

Nate emerged from the bathroom with a smile on his face. He was in a good mood, considering the speed bump on his head. It was nice to hang out with Dan again. "Sorry to be so needy, but do you have a hat? This thing is heinous." Nate took a seat on the bed, and Dan tossed him a grey beanie. He fussed with his hair for a second. "I look ok?"

Better than ok, Dan caught himself thinking. Stop that! He told himself.

"I'm starving!" Nate says, standing up. "I'm gonna smoke a cigarette and call a car, meet me downstairs when you're done." Nate winked and he was off.

"So, you're alive!" Serena laughed as she got up to greet Nate and Dan as they made their way to the table. "I'm sorry I had to leave last night, but I'm glad you're ok!" She enveloped Nate in a hug. Her hair was in a loose braid, nonchalantly thrown over her shoulder. Her slender frame was draped in a blush colored boyfriend blazer, a white slouchy tank top, and black leather shorts, sheer hose, and suede wedges. Nate may not have known for the life of him how to put an outfit together for himself half the time, but he was always in love with whatever Serena was wearing. They took their seats.

"Hardly! Look at this!" Nate lifted the beanie to reveal the gigantic bump on his head.

"Oh, my God!" Serena laughed, covering her mouth. "Cedric wasn't fucking around!" She smiled and looked knowingly at Dan, who grinned back at her. The waitress came with water and took their orders.

"So, are you guys going to come to The Spectator party for New Years?" Nate asks, thumbing through his phone.

"I didn't know their was one…" Dan replied.

"I hadn't really considered what I'm going to do,. New Years is always such a production," Serena mused, sipping her water.

"Well, you both have got to come, it's an order! It's going to be great. Everyone will be there. " Nate caught Serena look at Dan questioningly, and felt that movement in his stomach.

"Of course we'll - I'll come." Dan said just as the food came out. Serena's brow furrowed at this. Things had been going so well with Dan lately, but now she could feel him being distant. It was a strange feeling for her, knowing Dan was in love with someone else, Blair of all people. He'd dated others before but she knew she could always get him back if she really needed to. But now she felt the sneaking suspicion that she was going to have to put up a real fight, and against an opponent that only existed in Dan's mind no less. She tried her best to ignore the voice inside of her that was telling her that this was all part of her comeuppance for sleeping with Nate all those years ago. Losing Dan to Blair would be a crushing blow.

"Of course," she said, smiling before biting into a piece of toast.

Spotted: Golden Boy and Lonely Boy with their fingers sticky with the makings of a syrupy sweet scandal. For Upper East Siders it is brunch, not breakfast that is the most important meal of the day. Yesterday's clandestine exploits have a tendency to make the best morning treats, don't you think? Nothing says 'good morning' quite like a strange bedfellow. How do you like your eggs, S? We only ask because if we get our wish, you'll start the New Year with them all over your face. Delicious. You know you love me, xoxo, Gossip Girl