Title: Causing a Scene

Author: Mindy

Rating: K

Disclaimer: Tina's etc.

Pairing: Jack/Liz

Spoilers: "Do-Over".

Summary: Kathy Geiss gets the romantic resolution she wanted.

-x-

They were in the control booth, discussing a new set, when Liz spotted her again. Lurking. Staring. Creeping slowly closer. She moved a little away from Jack so they were not standing so close, and swiped at his arm a few times.

"Jack! Jack!" she hissed under her breath: "Lookie. She's back!"

Jack glanced over his shoulder to see Kathy Geiss attempting to look casual and inconspicuous at the other end of the corridor. "Oh my God," he whispered back: "She won't go away! She's like the metal guy in 'Terminator'."

"Yeah," Liz agreed quietly: "She's Robert Patrick in a chunky knit cardigan."

Jack shook his head worriedly: "I think we have a stalker on our hands here, Lemon."

"Jack, she's freaking me out," she replied, her shoulders inching up around her ears: "What do we do?"

Jack cleared his throat. "Strange as it may seem, Lemon, I don't actually have an answer to that. I've never been in this precise situation before. Forced to enact soap opera scenes for the sake of a company I'm devoted to."

"Fine," she huffed: "Well, you can do what you want then. I'm outta here."

"You can't leave," Jack protested as she shuffled past him.

"Sure, I can," she shrugged and waved a hand between them: "She's not interested in me. She's only interested in us. When I leave, there's no us. Problem solved."

"Wait--" Jack grasped her elbow urgently. "Wait," he said again, his voice taking on a velvety quality: "You can't walk out on this. You can't walk out…on us, Elizabeth."

She rolled her eyes, her foot stamping slightly on the floor. "Aw, nerds, not again."

"Stay with me…" Jack coaxed, taking her other arm and turning her towards him: "Stay, and I promise we will work this out."

Liz shook her head vehemently although not so vehemently that Kathy could see the movement: "I'm not doing this again, Jack, I told you the last time--"

"The last time was wonderful, I agree," Jack interjected, his voice smooth and one level louder than usual: "But we need to move on now."

Liz sent an abashed look to the control booth operators who had turned in their seats to listen to their impromptu little scene. "It's a long story…" she muttered, waving a hand: "you wouldn't--"

"For heaven's sake--!" Jack grabbed her shoulders, drawing her attention back to him: "Stop trying to rationalise everything and just tell me how you feel."

With her back to Kathy, she shot him a dubious look. "Now, who is meant to be the girl in this scenario?"

"Don't you know, you're a part of this now?" Jack murmured tenderly, glancing over her head at his eagerly encroaching boss: "A part of me?"

Liz sighed, twisting in his grasp: "Seriously, Jack, haven't we given her enough of this crap? How much corn can the human mind possibly withstand?"

"Lemon," Jack lowered his voice to it's usual sardonic rasp, his blue eyes meeting hers in the low light of the narrow room: "When it comes to high drama and sizzling sexual tension--"

Her eyes widened. "Never say that again."

"--the audience will always want more." His eyes held hers for a moment, astute and unwavering. "You know Kathy won't be satisfied til she gets what she so desperately wants."

She swallowed. "Which is?"

The corners of his mouth lifted. "You work in television, Lemon. Take a wild guess."

She jabbed a thumb at the other two men in the booth with them, eating sandwiches and slurping soda and doing a very bad job of pretending not to overhear them. "I am not kissing you in front of the techies, Jack," she hissed insistently: "I absolutely draw the line--"

Jack glanced at the two men, clicked his fingers once then pointed to the door. "Out."

Liz watched them scatter. "That's not really…what I meant..."

"Listen to me…" Jack urged, resuming his soap opera persona: "You can't ignore what's between us, anymore. It's stronger than the two of us."

She bit her lip to prevent a smile. "You've really been watching the soaps, huh?"

"I've been waiting for this day to come," he told her, nice and loud.

"See, and I've been dreading it," she muttered, keeping her voice consistently low.

Jack ignored her and continued, his hands growing greedier by the second: "You can deny it all you want, you're still the one for me."

"Dude," she replied dryly: "that was lame, pitiful--"

"Are you trying to drive me away?" he demanded, drawing back as though wounded.

"Yes," she nodded, picking up one of his hands from her shoulders and dropping it: "Yes, I am."

Jack's hands instead went to her waist: "Well, you can't. I'll never leave you."

Liz peered down at the hands pulling her closer, slipping all around and over her: "Hey. Hands where I can see 'em, Jack. Keep 'em where I can see 'em."

"Lemon," he warned, his face ducking in close to hers: "She's coming closer, Lemon."

"Well, of course she is. Thanks to you and your wandering paws," she whispered peevishly: "she probably thinks you're going to do me right here on the console."

Jack glanced at the console. "W--"

"NO. Uh huh. Never gonna happen." She glared up at him, dark eyes sharp and obstinate: "Jeepers, Jack, I told you I didn't want to do this anymore. It's humiliating."

Jack regarded her silently for a moment then whispered desperately: "I'll buy you donuts for a week."

Her eyes flickered. "…A week?"

"Fine," he shrugged: "A month."

Her face split into a wide grin. "A month? Alright, Lemon!"

"So…" Jack shuffled closer, his eyes dropping to her mouth. "We give Kathy what she wants?"

"Something like that." Liz poked his chest with one finger: "This the last time, though, Jack, the absolute last." Then her grin returned: "I have an idea."

Jack drew in a breath. "Talk to me, my love."

"Oh brother." She placed her hands on his arms, beginning to whisper: "When I was in high school I played Annie in 'Okalahoma!' and I had to kiss this guy with really bad breath and a fake beard--"

"Are you trying to make me jealous?" Jack interrupted, half in character, half not.

She bobbed her head once. "Just…follow my lead and…try not to look grossed out."

Jack smirked. "I'm in your hands."

Kathy was close, Liz could practically feel her breathing down her neck. And there was no point in stalling. So she moved in swiftly, rising onto her toes and feeling Jack's arms encircle and lift her. The second before her lips touched his, she slipped her fingers between them. Pressing the pads of her fingertips against his mouth, she laid her mouth over the backs of them, tilting her head to disguise the fact that anything separated them.

Jack chuckled into her skin and angled her in a way that Kathy could see the both of them, but could not see her arm between them. To her, it would look like a typically romantic, perfectly impulsive, utterly swept away lip-lock. Two lovers, taking advantage of a darkened room, overpowered by temptation, clutching one another tight as they indulged in a private, passionate moment.

Before they'd had time to even milk the moment though, they were surprised to hear a sudden, loud thud. They yanked apart, opened their eyes and turned.

Kathy was on the floor, out cold, her wool skirt up over her knees.

"My God."

Liz brought a hand down in front of her face. "And…scene."

Jack just stared. "Do you think we killed her?"

Liz wagged her head as Kenneth rushed over to help the fallen CEO. "Another Geiss bites the dust." She glanced up at Jack who had frozen in shock: "Um, I think we can…" she tapped his arm lightly.

"Oh, sorry," he muttered as they simultaneously cleared their throats, bowed their heads and took an exaggerated step back. Watching Kenneth pat the cheeks of Kathy, Jack let out a deep breath: "To borrow a phrase…Aw, blerg."

"You took the words right outta my mouth," Liz turned to him, opening her mouth to continue.

Jack stopped her with a look. "Don't…finish that sentence."

"Yeah, okay."

Kenneth looked up from the prone body in panic, glancing about at the gathering crowd. "Does anyone know CPR?"

Liz's eyes slid slowly over to Jack. He shrank back for a moment, hoping someone else would volunteer. Then, slowly, reluctantly, he raised his hand.

"Mr Donaghy," Kenneth implored breathlessly: "It's against my religion to perform mouth-to-mouth on anyone outside my immediate family -- but I don't think she's breathing."

Jack stepped forward, silent, head low. Liz patted him on the back as he left her side, casting her a piteous look.

"Hey. Don't press so hard," she whispered helpfully, tapping her lips with two fingers. At Jack's look, she held up both hands: "Sorry. You…go ahead…do the mouth-to-mouth stuff…I'm just gonna…watch here while you...do…her. I mean, that--"

"Another word--" Jack warned, leaning over and growling in her ear: "And no donuts."

Liz opened her mouth, a sly grin curving her lips.

"Believe it," he insisted ominously.

Liz nodded and firmly shut her mouth. She didn't say another word as she watched Jack kneel by Kathy Geiss. Or when he drew back at the moustache adorning her upper lip. She didn't comment when he opened her mouth wide and laid his over hers and filled her lungs with air. Over and over again. She didn't even say something when Kathy came to life under his ministrations, her arms flinging around his neck.

She might have smiled. Widely. Smugly. Irrepressibly. But Liz didn't say another word.

And in the end, she got her donuts. Jack got his way. And Kathy got what she'd always wanted.

Sort of.

END.