A/N:I cried while writing this. I think it's pretty sad. Please read and let me know what you think, OK? And oh, I don't own Twilight.

Bella POV

"I'm so sorry, Bella. I'm so sorry..."

Here we go again, I thought. One more doctor that can't help me. They might as well hand me the tickets to SFU express already.

Death has lost it's meaning.

You see, being told that I'm gonna die for so many times, made me numb to sorrow. I'm not sad, I'm just waiting. I fail to see anything special about this anymore. I just hope I don't die choking, or coughing up blood, I just wanna go in peace. A Sunday morning, my parents will be sleeping on the couch by my bed. They won't wake up. Edward will be curled up with me -sans the cables and needles- on my bed, my favorite book will be by my side, and I'll just know it's time. I'm going to kiss Edward and tell him I love him. He's going to hold me tight, look into my eyes, until they close for an eternity.

Oh, Edward.

If I feel bad because I'm dying, it's only for Edward. You see, we were highschool sweethearts. We graduated together, with our bestfriends, then everyone coupled up and spread all around USA. We completely lost contact then, but of course, Edward and I stood together. Now, we're both 25. We both finished college together, majoring in literature. We are both qualified enough to get an enjoyable job that pays quite well. The only difference is, he has a healthy, fully functioning body and a future ahead of him, while I have abnormally narrow pulmonary veins and just a couple of months left to live. We won't be together forever, like we planned. Life is a cold bitch, I know.

"Bella, you'll get better, I promise. I don't know how, I don't know when, but fuck it, I'll find a way. I swear, I'll keep you alive somehow..."

Green eyes were rimmed with red and glistening with tears. It broke my heart to no end, seeing him like this. I hated myself for making him suffer. I hated the fact that he had to say those three sentences after every new doctor, every appointment, to keep us all up and steady. I hated this whole thing, and I hated having to wait for death to put a fucking end to this thing that was tearing apart everyone I loved.

I don't care if you kill me, just end this for Edward. For Renee, for Charlie...

Charlie had to take Renee home so I could sleep, since Renee was crying too loud. Edward never left my side, where he had been for the past 9 years of my life. And look at that, now I'm leaving him...

I slept for a couple of hours, then woke up to Edward's laughter. First, I thought it was a dream. That magical, happy-pill laughter had gone for long, I thought. I hadn't heard it since... Two Christmases ago. When this thing wasn't in our lives yet.

"Bella, I found a cure, I-I know how to heal you, just look-Oh God, I need to call in Charlie,an-and book the tickets-Oh God, Bella, you are going to survive!"

He hugged me with enough strength to make me cough a little, then he released his grip to look into my eyes. He was smiling, with those beautiful lips and the green eyes. It was a lovely sight.

"Edward, stop and breathe. No, don't gasp for air, breathe decently. What the hell are you talking about?"

He waved a magazine at me.

"Okay, so, this is a magazine about the best surgeons in the world, and they're talking about a miraculous heart surgeon. You see, she even has this nickname-Oh, screw the name, she has never lost any patients, they say. She has this magical pair of hands, and she does this amazing surgeries..."

I stopped listening. For the first time in my life, I got so angry at Edward, I could rip off all of that beautiful bronze mess on top of his head.

"Edward, shut the fuck up!"

His smile froze on his face. "Bella, what-"

"I said shut up. Stop talking about miracles, because they never happen, alright? This woman-" I took the magazine from his hands, "-A.W., oh no, pardon me, 'Queen Of Hearts', isn't gonna save me. She lives in New York-I'd drop dead halfway during the trip there by the way- God knows how she probably isn't a free bitch, what with all the awards, she can't help me! NO ONE can help me, there is abso-fucking-lutely NOTHING to do to save me! Just wake the fuck up and see, I'm going to die in less than three fucking months, and there is not a single thing you can do about it!"

I hadn't realized that I sat up a little and ripped off one of my cords during my little rant. I hadn't realized the nurse Angela, my parents Renee and Charlie, standing at the door, looking at me in utter shock. I hadn't realized that I ripped off the magazine to thousand pieces while shouting, and I most certainly hadn't realized Edward holding on to the remains of the damned magazine for dear life.

I let tears escape from my eyes for the first time since I found out about my disease. I leaned back into my bed. "I hate this... Just let me go already... Just leave me alone, let me die... Please... Please..."

For the first time in 2 years, I demanded everyone to leave my room and not come back until I ask for them. After three days, as my situation got worse, my demand was ignored, and desperate sobs of three people filled my room again. Next day, we were on a plane to New York, all of us praying that I don't land in a coffin.

Queen Of Hearts POV

Bzzzt. Bzzzt. Bzzzt.

Oh God, are you kidding me?

Bzzzt. Bzzzt. Bzzzt.

Shut up the damn thing already, I'm on a break!

Bzzzt. Bzzzt. Bzzzt.

Oh my fucking-

"Hello?"

Finally, someone made it stop. Wait. I'm in my bed. Who else is in my bed with me? What the hell happened last night?

Oh, right. My husband of 3 years. And, the only thing I drank last night was a milkshake and I threw it up before I got to bed.

"Sure, just a minute-" he looked at me smiling "Hey Queen, they're calling you from the hospital."

"I swear, if you ever call me Queen again, I'm going to chop off your-"

"They're still on the phone."

I glared at him and grabbed the phone.

"Who are you and what the fuck do you want?"

"Hey, relax, won't you? Where is your maternal mercy?"

"Look Rosalie, just because I'm on maternity leave, it doesn't mean I have maternal feelings, OK? Just tell me your problem and leave me the fuck alone."

I heard an irritated sigh from the other side of the phone. "Someone we know closely is really ill. And she's here. And she needs Magic Brandon. So, I suggest you get your fat ass off the bed and-" I heard someone else trying to talk in the background, but failing, since she was coughing so much "Hey, wait-" cough "Magic Brandon? Are we talking about-"

I'd remember that voice from anywhere.

"Oh God."

I dropped the phone, ran into the bathroom and threw up all over the sink.

2 hours and a phone call later...

"-so, it's very serious. Bella is dying, and they think I can save her."

"You can save her."

"You're not helping, Jasper!"

He looked up at me, feigning innocence. "But I'm tying your shoelaces every morning, doesn't that count as help?"

I lightly flicked his forehead. "I would tie them myself if YOUR baby didn't block my way. Plus, you don't understand. It's impossible that she's alive now. You just can't live with all your pulmonary veins THAT narrow, it's impossible! She's like a ticking time bomb, anything I do could only trigger things to be worse!"

He stared at me for a while. "You mean-"

"Yes, that's exactly what I mean. My best friend is dying and there is nothing I can do." There. I lost control of my tears again.

It took me another two hours to get back my grip and prepare myself for what as about to come. And yet again, I burst into tears the moment I saw Bella's pale, worn-out face.

A/N:I hope you liked it, and please let me know what you think! Reviews keep me going!