Day After Day
Author: Mystic Dodo
Published: Feb 2015
A/N: This is a multi-chapter fiction. I haven't done anything like this in a long time!
Warnings: Yami has his own body, puzzleshipping (Yuugi x Yami). Watch this space?
Yuugi loved his friends. Yuugi loved his Yami. Yami enjoyed their friends too.
Oh yes. Yami could understand entirely what Yuugi was doing. He was a people person; he loved being surrounded by loved ones. He loved the laughter, the ease, the jokes, the fun, the comfort… And most of all he loved that he could share that with Yami.
He had his own body. Of course one of Yuugi's first goals – aside from the two committing to a loving relationship that almost felt too good to be true – was for their friends to properly know the former spirit of the Millennium Puzzle. Days out, days in; sleepovers; trips; movies; shopping; gaming… the group of friends were inseparable.
At first, Yami had been flattered. It was fantastic to be included. It was wonderful getting to know their friends on his own, individual basis. It was fun.
Sometimes, though…
Yami sighed. He had just received a message from Jounouchi; hey, saw Yuugi at work and he said that the gang can come over tonight. Do you have everything that we need?
That was when he realised he was fed up. Almost… annoyed, even. Nonetheless, he replied; As always. See you all soon.
Don't get Yami wrong. He loved his friends too. He was no way unappreciative of his second chance at life, granted by the Gods. He was thankful for things that he assumed many would take for granted. He appreciated the time that he could spend laughing and playing, debating and talking with the people he had grown even closer to now that he had his own body.
He just wished that it didn't have to impact on his relationship with Yuugi.
It wasn't like they did not communicate with each other, it was more the idea that they had shared a mind for so long that it was easy to assume what the other was thinking and act accordingly. Yami didn't blame Yuugi; Yuugi just wanted to do what he thought was best for everyone. He wanted Yami to feel like he had always been a part of the group; he wanted their friends to feel the same regarding Yami. It was something nobody thought possible.
As Yami greeted Jounouchi, Honda, Anzu and Ryou into his home, he never felt more the stranger.
Yuugi and Yami rented their place soon after high school. It was lovely. It was going to be the two of them, alone, without Jii-chan or Kaa-san or customers at the shop… only, it never really became a place for just Yuugi and Yami. It became The Gangs Place. Pretty much every night at least one of their friends was around. It wasn't like they didn't have the space… It wasn't like Yami didn't have a good time when they did have company. It was just, hard, extremely so, when he couldn't cuddle up with Yuugi and show him affection.
Everyone knew of their relationship; it was common knowledge. Yami had been strange about public displays of affection and Yuugi was never one for it anyway; a hand squeeze, maybe a peck on the cheek if he was feeling daring. In the rare times of privacy they did cuddle and enjoy the occasional romp in the sheets and Yami definitely knew that the two loved one another very dearly. Yet in recent times it now felt like the two soul mates were just friends instead of lovers. It was hard to be lovers when people were around constantly and both Yuugi and Yami had settled into habitual roles. A peck on the cheek here, a wink every now and then, mouth on mouth when it was time to go to bed… that was pretty much the extent of their physical relationship.
It left him feeling lonely quite a lot of the time, despite the near constant company that he had.
He wanted Yuugi.
Just him and his aibou.
It was not good for a relationship when your feelings towards another could be summarised as friends who occasionally had sex.
Oh, he knew the concept of friends with benefits but he and Yuugi, they had something special. They had something precious and pure. The love between the two was sacred yet he could feel the fires dying.
Everyone had made themselves at home and Yami perched awkwardly on the side of the sofa by the window, keeping a look out for his boyfriends' return from work. Yami couldn't say he was surprised when Yuugi, upon his return, gave Yami a quick squeeze around the shoulders in greeting before busying himself in their friendship group. It was, after all, the standard greeting the two shared but he hated how the habitual contact made his heart clench in his chest.
Yuugi sat next to Anzu on the floor planning the future. He shared jokes with Honda. He and Ryou spoke about the latest games. He and Jounouchi planned food.
And Yami was just, sat on the borders, wondering where he fit in with any of this.
He was…
Not angry. That was too strong of a word. Perhaps sad? Lonely? Disappointed? Bored?
Guilty. Definitely guilty.
Because they were lovers, weren't they? It wasn't wrong to want more affection and time with his boyfriend, was it? He wasn't being selfish for wanting less time with friends because it interfered with time with Yuugi… was he? It wasn't bad to want their space to actually be that, right?
Yami knew he was being unusually quiet that evening and when everybody left to go home ("finally" he mentally sighed when the time read 2 in the morning) he wanted nothing more than to curl up in Yuugi's arms, kiss him, perhaps make love and talk about them. Yuugi, though, was tired and fell asleep before Yami could finish getting ready for bed.
He couldn't stop the bitter bubbling at the pit of his stomach at thinking that the same old routine would repeat itself tomorrow… and the day after, and the day after.
Friends were a gift, especially ones as loyal as the handful that he had. He loved them. Yuugi loved them. They wouldn't be together if it weren't for them. What could Yami have expected when he gained his own body? Heck, he had been ecstatic at being able to be a real friend. He had allowed for things to get this out of control. He had let the relationship between him and Yuugi dissolve into what they had with everyone else; friendship.
How long had it been since they last had a date, with just the two of them?
How long had they sat down and watched a movie in each others' arms?
How long had it been since their talk wasn't dominated by something that one of their friends did or did not do?
How long had it been since the two spent a lazy day in bed with no contact with the outside world, with just each other for company?
He felt so damned lonely, and even with Yuugi fast asleep less than an arm width away from him Yami felt like his smaller lover was so far away.
Yet Yuugi still seemed fine. Maybe things were fine and Yami was expecting too much. Maybe this was how things were in modern days… Maybe he was just being oversensitive and demanding on poor Yuugi who only wanted the best for everyone; who was only being his usual selfless self. The young man certainly wasn't acting like he had a problem with the arrangements. He seemed perfectly content to have things stay the way that they were.
Perhaps… Perhaps Yuugi would preferred it if Yami and him were just friends. Yuugi never liked conflict; he hated upsetting anybody. Maybe he had noticed the nature of their relationship but because of his discomfort with negative situations didn't mention when burning love slowly dimmed to simmering embers?
Yami's eyes stung. With a sigh he turned his back on Yuugi and wrapped his share of the duvet around himself.
He couldn't live like this.