Sorry for not uploading anything for a while, but I had a lot of complications, what with writer's block, and my computer messing up, and me mourning over my bricked Wii (loved that thing), but those have been passed, and it's time for something to be posted! YAY! This marks my first ever story that I've written completely based on humor, and it features completely NO romance! :O
Now then, onward with the usual: I do NOT own Sonic and Co. because they belong to SEGA and they're too stingy to share :(
"Hey, Sonic." Shadow said
"Zzzzzz….."
"Sonic!"
"Zzzzzzzz….."
Shadow sighed and shook his head.
"There's only one way I can wake this idiot up." He said before taking in a very deep inhale. "WAKE UP YOU GODDAMN FAKER!!!!"
"UWAAAAH!" Sonic screamed, and snapped to his senses. "Uhh….oh, it's just you Shads. Whaddya want anyway?"
"You idiot, did you forget already? We have to report to Professor Pickle and Tails for the location of the next Temple!"
Sonic, still a little dazed, could only mutter, "Nnnh, can't we wait five more minutes?"
"That's it you pathetic oaf!"
Shadow grabbed the azure hedgehog and flung him over his shoulder, making sure that Sonic wouldn't fall off, and marched out of the room. Sonic however, was perfectly content, and quickly fell asleep on Shadow's shoulder, earning the midnight warrior some odd looks from the hotel employees. He paid them no mind, and exited the vast building known as "Spagonia Hotel".
***********************
"Hey professor, are you sure that's the continent the next Temple is located?" A bright yellow kitsune questioned.
"Hmm….yes. I'm quite sure, unless I somehow misdeciphered the tablet, but I don't see that happening." A frankly old man replied.
"Well, Sonic's not going to like this."
"He's not going to like what?"
Prof. Pickle and Tails turned to see Amy Rose entering the study with a drowsy look on her face.
"Jeez Amy, you need to learn to wake up earlier!" Tails commented.
"Well excuuuuse me for having to wake up at 7 in the morning!" She yawned, rubbing her eyes with the back of her hand.
"Well, I know what'll wake you up." Prof. Pickle started, "A well made cucumber sandwich!"
"Professor, no offense, but I don't think Amy wants to eat anymore sandwiches"
"Hm, well she needs to eat them anyways. They're great for diet plans."
"I'm sorry, but I didn't quite catch that. What was that about a diet plan?" The pink hedgehog snapped as she brandished her trademark Piko Piko hammer, and reared back for attack.
"Hmph, I think I'm going to need that hammer more than you do."
Shadow entered the study, and snatched the hammer from Amy's hands, forcing raged looks from her, but he turned them down, and used the hammer to glomp his lighter counterpart.
"Owowowowowowow!! SHADOW, what the heck was that for?" Sonic shouted, holding his head in anguish. He quickly took the hammer from Shadow, and proceeded to smash Shadow with it, however Shadow simply sidestepped the blow, causing it to hit Amy instead.
"Oh….Jeez, I'm sorry Amy, I didn't mean to…."
The glare that Amy gave Sonic clearly told him that nothing he could say would calm her down.
"Ha, you're screwed faker!" Shadow laughed, and gave Amy a soft push towards Sonic.
"Aw….shi-"
"Soniiiiiiiiiiiiiiic!!!!!!!!!"
Seeing Amy chase Sonic out of the study, and through the streets and alleyways of Spagonia was a rather funny sight, and had the crew back at the study laughing themselves to death, however, they Prof. Pickle, and Tails got to briefing Shadow on the location of the next temple.
"I see….very well then, I shall depart immediately." Shadow said.
"Ah, very good Shadow. Now here is a chaos emerald for you," Prof. Pickle gave Shadow a glowing green gem, "and here is a map."
"Yessss, the green one….that's my favorite one….." The midnight-crimson warrior hissed, rubbing the green chaos emerald against his peachy muzzle.
"Uhh…Shadow?" Tails commented, trying to turn away from the sight, "I think you better leave before this gets more…..awkward."
"Now then, don't be rash Tails!" The Prof. said. "Think of the myriad benefits there could be from having a hedgehog born from pure chaos energy!"
"Silence, I will be on my way then…" Said the now irritated hedgehog, and he left in search of his doppelganger.
"Uhh…..professor, I don't think chaos emeralds can give birth."
"Nonsense, my boy, they have limitless capabilities! Surely they can be capable of creating life."
"Not like that anyways…" Tails said, and began deciphering the tablet again.
***********************
"Come on Amy, I didn't mean to!"
"Come on Sonic, I don't mean to turn you into ROADKILL!"
Amy was still chasing Sonic through Spagonia, and so far they knocked over a chili dog stand, an ice cream cart, an empty baby stroller, and a crying mime.
"Amy please! At least let me apologise to that mime, he deserves better!"
"LIKE HELL HE DOES!"
Suddenly, Sonic stopped, and Amy crashed into him, making him fall to the ground, staring at the feet of,
"Oh no, an army of mimes!" Sonic noted, "and they have invisible pepper spray!"
"Oh Sonic, you're so gullible. Mimes are stupid, they don't even know what pepper spray is."
Just then, a mime walked up to her, and sprayed her in the eyes with pepper spray, and motioned for the others to do the same. Amy fled in terror, and Sonic thanked the mime in the only way possible: by making an invisible box. The mime gave a quick nod, and he along with his army chased after Amy. Sonic however, tried to move, but found himself being blocked by any unseeable force.
"Oh no, please don't tell me I did 'it' again!"
Sonic used his hands to feel around for more of the invisible force, and confirmed that he did in fact, do 'it' again. What is "it" you ask, why he made accidentally encased himself in an invisible sphere….on a 45 degree vertical hill.
"NO!"
He started to roll down the hill, and his speed increased along with time, making him knock over yet even more stuff including the mime army, and Amy. However, after a while, he found himself to be suddenly stopped by a lone midnight figure.
"You did it again, I take it?"
"Jup" Sonic smiled.
"You jackass." And Shadow somehow broke the sphere and got Sonic out.
"So, where are we supposed to go now?" Sonic quizzed.
"What, no thanks? No appreciation for saving you?"
"Just tell me where we're supposed to go!"
"Hmph, fine, I thought that I would have a change of heart, and make this less painful for you, but I see now that you want me to let you go full force without thinking." Shadow said.
Sonic immediately blushed and put scratched his head in embarrassment.
"Heh….Shads….I didn't think we were going this steady."
"What?"
Sonic leaned closer to Shadow, and pressed the tip of his nose against Shadow's.
"You really think we're ready?"
"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, YOU STUPID MOTHERFU-" Shadow cut himself off when he noticed a little child looking his way. "You know what, I'm gonna make sure you suffer long and well for this."
"Oh my, I think we might need more than this little thing." Sonic said, pulling out a little rubber object that, from the looks of it, you could put on your finger.
"That's it, CHAOS CONTROL!"
And so, the two warped.
Where are they going? What does Shadow have planned? Will anyone save Amy? And will the Professor STOP EATING THOSE DAMN SANDWICHES??? Find out on the next episode, of Dragon Ball Z!