Severus stared up at the full moon with tears in his eyes. It was the summer's first full moon. And it broke his heart to be alone with the moon, knowing that lily wasn't there to watch it with him. He remembered climbing the trellis to her window during the full moon so he could get away from his father and the horrible screams of his mother in pain. Lily…oh god lily why did she have to be gone? Leaving him all alone…so alone and so….afraid. The pain took over his heart and made him want to cry out…but he knew he'd wake worm tail and alert him of something being wrong. He quickly placed Muffliato on the room incase it happened again.
Oh how he wished he could kill that son of a bitch, but no. He had to make sure the dark lord thought he was a faithful servant. That included keeping worm tail as his personal servant. This was mostly working out because he got to beat the worthless lump to a pulp everyday. It was on a night like this that lily had told him she loved him. Her hair had sparkled brilliantly red in the shiny moonlight. Her eyes green as emeralds and lips as pink as the clouds at sunset.
Lillian Marie Evans P- He refused to think of her as Potter's wife. It just wasn't lily…that wasn't his lily. Potter's wife had been someone lonely and unhappy with the way her life had turned out. James should've cherished her and Harry while he'd had the chance, but now Lily was…dead and Harry was now an orphan. He'd been an orphan for the last fourteen years…Lily would be so disappointed in Sev for not taking over the responsibilities of being Harry's father. He loved Harry though, no matter what Harry thought.
The Moon glinted wickedly in the sky and taunted him. His heart wrenched again this time he made a noise of anguish from deep in his chest. He was glad for his charm. Severus sank to the floor and pulled his knees to his chest as he had done so many times when he was a teenager. He was Thirty five now. It was still hard to believe, because it felt like just yesterday he'd been twelve and going to Hogwarts with Lily on his arm.
He remembered perching on the top of the trellis and leaning his face against her window to see if she was awake. If she was awake, she would let him in and give him a hug or in later years a kiss. When he was upset she would just let him hold her or she would hold him. If she was asleep he would just lean up against her window and watch her sleep, but if he was upset he would knock on her window and wake her up, or sing a song to wake her.
He could still remember her touch, her scent, her taste. Everything about his beloved swimming around in his mind. It hurt him, and yet as he looked at the moon again. He could almost swear she was there with him. Looking at him, smiling at him, crying for him and their son. Above all things he wanted to make her proud, but these days that was hard to accomplish.