Runaway – A Liv Malone Story
The music boomed around her like a pulsating bomb going off in her head. She danced along jumping up and down flowing with the crowd. Her body was filmed with sweat and more bodies piled around her moving, grinding, and a certain flow that couldn't be disturbed. Hands groping her, bodies against her, and a hot breathe down her neck. Liv was on a roll for once, and rolling thanks to the last few pills she had in her stash. The club she picked was a small shit hole of a place, but it was the only place she knew where to get free drinks and other things. The guy behind her was running his hands up and down her body and she was lost in the moment. She turned around and swayed her hips with his as she hung her hands on his neck laughing with her eyes closed. Her feet were pulsating, but she had to get what she wanted and he had what she needed. Liv ordered more shots for him and her and they piled them down quickly. What he didn't know was she had a stomach of steel and a few shots wouldn't do her head in, unlike this chap who was pissed after seven shots. Her head was spinning but that was from the powder she lined her gums with. Liv pulled his hand down back through the crowd, feeling the sweaty bodies around her pressing up again.
Her grip on his hand never let up, she needed it, wanted it, and the toilet was the only place to go. She pushed him in the door kissing his rugged face as he ran his hands to her hips gripping her bum. This guy wasn't too bad looking. Possibly a little older, a keen sense of what to wear to a club, and a shiny gold watch that caught her attention as soon as she walked in. Liv pressed him against the wall and ran her hands down his body and down in his pockets gripping what she needed. Wallet. She pushed him with force into the toilet stall and kissed him again digging her hands down in his front pockets again. Flask. She pulled it out and distracted him more by running her hands up his shirt and kissing him harder. He groaned and was starting to undo his pants, when she pulled back. "Jus' gotta get a thing." She walked out of the stall and hit at the metal box on the wall three times before slipping out of the bathroom. Liv slithered through the crowed and outside into the fresh night air and lit a cigarette. "Same shit every night..." she walked away hearing the sort click of her heels as she let the smoke blow into the crisp air. She pulled the wallet out and flipped through all the cash, enough for a meal. She tossed the leather piece into an alley and continued on looking through the cards she had in her hand. I.D., credit card, debit card, and a picture of a slag. Liv threw the I.D., cards, and picture into the gutter and headed down the dark street.
It was a typical night for her and these nights wouldn't end anytime soon. It had been awhile since she was almost that close to having to fuck a guy to get more cash, but she wouldn't go that low. Even if she was in the shittiest shit hole of a town, there was more than one way to get cash. She flipped open her phone to see a few text messages from her sister, Maude.
"When are you coming home?"
"You've been gone for days!"
"I hate you. Don't bother coming home!"
Her heart sunk as she read them over and over, until she read the date again. It had been four weeks and five days since she last received anything from her family. Liv was on the move and for some reason she felt like she still needed to flee. Run. You're turning into her.
Why am I doing this to myself?
She ran that question in her head over and over as she found a nice corner near the street. Liv sat down shivering in the cold air and pulled her jacket around her and laid her bag in her lap. She had nowhere to go and no mates around. She didn't even know what town she was in anymore. Liv curled up in a ball and wiped the sweat drawn make-up under her eyes. Why did you run away you stupid bitch? The answer was obvious. She knew it all along. In her own mind she was becoming just like her sister, Bella.
"You're just like her! Do I have to send you away too!" her moms voice was still ringing in her ears.
That's what did her head in and made her run. I can't be like her. I won't. But it was too late for Liv now, she was on the streets with two pairs of clothes and stealing anything she could to survive. She hadn't eaten in a few days and had been drowning herself in almost every bottle of alcohol she could find. It helped most nights, but it was only numbing herself so she didn't feel a damn thing. Liv pulled out the flask and brought it under her nose. Another familiar scent: whiskey. She guzzled it down quickly, snapping the top shut and cringed at the burning down her throat. She threw the tin into the street and wiped her eyes again smudging more black eye shadow down her cheeks. Liv was soon drowning herself in tears on the cold pavement shaking to pieces. Her mind was shattered in pieces and she just wanted to go home, but home was just a word now.
Stop crying you giant twat.
Liv stood up and her legs shook at the cold. She was only wearing a small layer of clothes and her basic needs were running low. Food, shelter, water: all impossible to find at 4 a.m. in a random fuck of a town. She continued on hearing her heels click on the pavement and the anger rumbling inside her. Liv would do anything to make the anger stop, but the drugs and alcohol weren't helping just adding fuel to the fire. Fucking random strangers over wasn't doing anything either. All she had left was a few pounds in her pocket and a soon to be hangover. After walking the streets for a good ten minutes she found a town pub and walked in looking like a complete mess. Her brain was fried beyond belief and she just needed somewhere to wash up, possibly eat. She headed to the toilet and to her surprise it was the cleanest one she had seen in weeks. Everything was dripping wet, half the toilets didn't work, and the mirror had graffiti written on the sides. After a quick rinse of water and wipe down of her make up, she caught glimpse of herself in the mirror. Bags lay under her eyes and she looked sick. Not just sick, but mentally unstable, like at any moment she would explode. Liv left the toilet after fixing up her top and sat in the farthest booth. A waiter walked up to her and eyed her oddly; of course, it was the same old, 'are you a slag' bullshit judgmental look that she hated so much. She rolled her eyes and ordered the cheapest thing on the menu, without even looking at it. He walked away still looking at her and she shook her head.
Liv sat in silence, not playing with her phone, not looking around, and trying to keep her brain in line. She closed her eyes and drifted off for what seemed like a minute, but was an entire hour of just sleeping in that booth curled up in a ball. Someone tapped at her shoulder and it was the same waiter as before, he smiled and handed her a plate of food. Definitely not what she ordered but she was thankful. Liv ate a full course meal and her stomach thanked her making her feel warm and colorful again. She handed the waiter the few pounds she had but he waved it away saying it was on the house.
"You know this is an inn. There are rooms upstairs if you need somewhere to stay." The waiter looked at her again with his shifting eyes.
It made her feel unsteady but what else did she have to lose? She accepted and he offered it free for the night, just because of how roughed up she looked. Liv walked into the small room and it had a ratty twin sized bed, a gritty window, and possibly the smallest bathroom in the world. "Thanks..." she said slowly and the door closed behind her. Thank god there're locks. She tossed her bag on the bed and rummaged inside finding her phone and charger. Click. Click. The phone sat charging on the bed as she made her way to the shower. Hot water was unavailable, but having a place to wash was like heaven. Even if the water shifted from lukewarm to skin stinging cold every two minutes. She exited the shower swiftly and dried herself off with a complimentary towel, then slid her few pairs of clothes she had left clean on.
Liv sat on the bed looking down at her knees and closed her eyes. I miss you. I miss you all. Really I do. She was tired of lying to herself. Liv missed it all, her mates, her sister, hell even her mother. Her body shifted onto the bed as it creaked from the rickety springs. She lay down and put her hands on her face trying to hold it all in. Don't. Just don't. It was too late, her mind wandered towards there; her friendship with Mini and Grace. Her lovely two best mates and their new addition Franky, which she left behind with no word. All the boys together, even her newly painted ex-boyfriend Matty. She missed every single one of them to the bone.
"FUCK! Fuck..." Liv pulled the rough textured pillow over her face and screamed as loud as she could, until her voice shot out. Her throat stung but the lump clogging her ability to speak was still there.
Her eyes welled up with tears again and she lay on her side staring into the dark space that was the room. I miss them. I fucking miss them all. This was her life now. Place after place, with nowhere to go. Liv had no real destination or life goals at this point. She was down in the gutters spewing whatever she had left in her. Liv hugged the pillow next to her and slowly sobbed until the tears wouldn't come anymore. Her phone was still charging on the table and she picked it up and dialed.
"It's... 5:30… Liv… LIV?" Maude's voice went from a dreary sleep to wide-awake in seconds.
"Hi'ya sista. Sorry about the early… call... I just wanted to say I love ya." She held back her tears again and tried to make her voice sound less hoarse as it was.
"I-I love you too. I'm sorry for what I said. I didn't know you wouldn't come back... I want you home, where are you?" she couldn't contain her excitement. Maude hadn't talked to Liv in nearly over a month. It was obvious she was blaming herself for the whole reason Liv didn't come back those four weeks ago, and it was killing her inside.
"I-I uhh, I'm in Scotland. It's really... Great... Wonderful actually." It was a complete bullshit lie, but it's what her sister needed to hear so she stopped blaming herself.
Maude was giddy with excitement and asked the one question that Liv didn't know how to answer, "When are you coming home?" her heart sank to the bottom of her gut and she wiped her eyes. Liv was good at lying, but Maude always saw through it. This whole conversation was a lie and it had been so long since they had seen each other, her sister didn't even know Liv wasn't actually okay. She answered with a, "Soon," and then said her goodbye quickly. She held her phone tight in her hands and started to breathe heavier. "What's wrong with you-you stupid fucking cunt!" Liv threw her phone straight at the wall cracking it in a dozen pieces. That was the last thing she had connected to back home and now she had absolutely nothing. No numbers, no pictures, no emergency contact, and not even a back-up plan. Liv sat up on the rickety bed and held her knees to her chest. You're all alone and you deserve nothing better than this.
"Miss, Miss! You're going to need to clear the room!" a voice sounded with a pounding at the door.
Liv awoke from the bed and didn't even realize she had fallen asleep. She quickly yelled back at the rude knocker and headed to the bathroom to wash up one last time. Tooth brush, dial soap, and a quick change into her last outfit; Liv hurled the backpack over her shoulder. Her sneakers were more comfortable for the longer walks she would have to endure but it wasn't too bad. Her phone was still split around the room and she didn't bother putting it back together again. Pointless, it's all so pointless. She left the room not saying a word to the man that was pounding on the door in his bathrobe. She went back downstairs and opened the pub door to the street; the sun was still glistening and rising. She pulled out a cigarette, lit it with ease, and looked both ways on the road. Each way looked exactly the same, just another road to another shitty town. "Where to?" she said through the cigarette in her lips. She pulled out a coin, flipped it, heads. Liv shifted her feet and turned towards the left, walking down the road disappearing towards the sunrise.