AUTOLYCUS: The King Of Thieves-- Episode 11 "Auld Acquaintance"
TEASER
FADE IN
A festival is in progress in the streets of Makarios. People mill happily about, and a drunken roar can be heard from all directions. Muran bounces her head happily to the music as she chews away at a fried dough concoction that is bigger than a loaf of bread.
A parade is passing by, with horse-drawn "floats" surrounded by crowds of ornately decorated clowns and people wearing deliberately goofy-looking animal and monster masks. As Muran watches all this, she swigs from a cup of cider, then resumes chewing away at the sugary dough.
A figure in a frog mask does a flip, to the delight of the crowd. The figure glances at Muran, who nods and moves back into the crowd, losing her space at the front of the curb. The frog flips a few more times... and then does a backflip onto one of the floats.
The people on the float laugh uproariously. The frog glances up. At the top of the float, a strikingly attractive woman waves to the crowd. She holds a bouquet of flowers and has a sash that reads "Miss Artiphys". She is blowing kisses to the crowd.
The frog-man's attention is riveted to her head, on the top of which rests an elaborate jeweled tiara. The frog kicks off his green paddled, frog foot-shaped shoes, revealing normal boots underneath. One of the men on the float who was laughing at his antics a second ago suddenly looks concerned.
As he starts to move forward, the frog-man leaps into the air, kicks off his shoulders, and bounds up to where the beauty queen is. The frog-man tears off his mask, revealing none other than Autolycus, the King of Thieves.
"A kiss, my dear," he says, gently kissing the stunned beauty queen. He pulls back, grins, and waves the tiara at her. She reaches up to feel where it was... and is no longer.
Autolycus kicks back from the float, spinning in the air and landing on a very surprised stilt-walker.
The walker tries to regain his balance, with Autolycus holding on to him around the shoulder.
"Who are you?" the man gasps.
"Just a passer-by," Autolycus says, leaping up to grab hold of a banner stretched across the road. It tears on one edge, and he swings down toward the crowd. They part to avoid getting kicked, and he lands and rolls, and glances around.
"KID?" He yells.
From the other edge of the road, Muran calls back "I thought you said on the left side of the road!!" Their horse Haley stands beside her.
Autolycus rolls his eyes. "This is why I always worked alone!" He calls, then starts running as soldiers begin chasing him.
As Muran watches him race off, she mutters "Like it's MY fault" and dejectedly leads Haley away.
Autolycus zigs through the crowd, easily dodging the soldiers' attempts to grab him. Reaching an exceptionally close-together cluster of parade watchers, Autolycus vaults onto the shoulders of one of them and walks across them. He drops down on the other side as the soldiers try to get the crowd to part.
Autolycus grins as he runs, looking back to check on the soldier's progress, when someone in the crowds thrusts an arm out. Autolycus is caught off-guard, and the arm hits him square in the throat. He flips back, and the figure moves out to punch him two more times as soon as he hits the ground.
Dazed, Autolycus staggers to get to his feet. The figure punches him again, putting all its weight into making the punch as hard as possible, and Autolycus falls.
The soldiers approach.
The man standing over Autolycus is boyishly handsome, in his late 20s, with dark brown hair parted in the middle and worn long and stylishly unkempt. He is wearing a tan shirt opened almost to the navel, dark brown leather pants, and matching leather gloves.
The open shirt reveals a tattoo of the silhouette of a winged serpent, its head starting just below his neck, the wings stretched across his upper chest, and the tail swinging down to his belly. A headband matches the color of the shirt.
He is huffing somewhat, and has a burning look in his eyes as he glares down at Autolycus, who is coughing and trying to get up, but too injured to manage just yet.
"Thank you, citizen," one of the soldiers says. "That vile thief tried to steal the queen's tiara..."
The man looks up at them, as if he doesn't know what they are talking about. Then he bends down and picks up the tiara next to Autolycus and holds it out to the soldiers. "This, I take it?"
"Yes," one of the soldiers says as he takes the tiara.
Two other soldiers move over to lift Autolycus.
Before they can, the man kicks Autolycus hard in the ribs and spits on him.
"Well," a soldier says, obviously a bit spooked by the intensity of the man's attack, "T-thank you for your help. There may be a reward involved...."
"Helping you catch this scum is reward enough," the man says. He leans in close to Autolycus, who is still dazed. The man whispers, venomously, "Long time, no see." then stands back and watches with a satisfied smirk as the soldiers drag the King of Thieves away.
FADE OUT. OPENING CREDITS ROLL.
ACT ONE
FADE IN
TITLE CARD: "AULD ACQUAINTANCE"
SPECIAL GUEST STAR: BILLY ZANE
As Autolycus is dragged to the jail, people boo and jeer. He is still disoriented from the attack, and wobbles his head around to scan the crowd. Muran is just behind the front row, bouncing up every few steps to see what is going on. She breaks through the front of the crowd in time to see him dragged through the constabulary doors. He forces a weak smile at her and winks, as best he can with one swollen eye.
The man who attacked Autolycus is also watching, though from a distance. He clasps his hands together and walks off, deep in contemplation...
CUT TO:
Inside the constabulary, a desk sergeant looks up as Autolycus is dragged in. "What happened here?" He asks. "Was this man mugged?"
"No sir, he tried to steal the queen's tiara that was loaned to the parade. Someone in the audience beat him up before we could catch him."
The desk sergeant grimaces. "Did a good job, it looks like. What's your name, young man?"
Autolycus looks up, regaining a bit of his composure. "Urelles," he mutters.
"Alright, Urelles, we'll get the other information when you've recovered a bit. Tenres, take this man back to cell four."
A soldier dutifully drags Autolycus back to the cell.
Autolycus puts up little resistance as his clothes are searched and his lockpicking tools removed; when he is shoved into the cell, he lies down on the cot and coughs. "Vicious little bastard...." He mutters.
"You in there?" comes a familiar voice from outside the barred window.
"No," Autolycus says weakly.
Muran pulls herself up to look in the cell. "Thank Zeus I found you. I checked three other windows. Two guys ignored me and a third made some really rude comment that I didn't quite understand. How are you doing?"
"Fine," Autolycus says, not lifting off the cot, "and working on getting up to 'dandy'."
"What happened?"
"Another rule for you to learn, kid. Always look where you're going."
"But why did that man attack you?"
"That was no man, that was Eleutherios."
"Huh?"
Autolycus arcs his head up. "Get scarce, kid, someone's coming."
Muran ducks, and a guard comes into the cell followed by a physician-- a potbellied man in his late 40s with a pug nose and thick eyebrows.
"How are we feeling?" The physician asks, crouching by the cot.
"Well, I can only speak for one of 'we'," Autolycus says, trying to smile, "And he's not feeling too well. Anyone get the number of that chariot?"
CUT TO:
A nearby tavern. Muran walks in, and casually strolls up to the bar. The tavern is filled with seedy characters, and as an 11-year old Asian girl, she stands out like a sore thumb among them. She climbs up onto a stool. The bartender, a broken-nosed thug with patchy grey hair, moves over to her. "We don't got no milk an' cookies in here, kid..." he starts.
"Tor sent me," Muran says.
The man's eyes narrow. "Right password, wrong place, kid," he says. "This ain't the thieves' guild. It burned down last month, and they ain't rebuilt it yet."
Muran is crestfallen.
"But tell me what ya want, and maybe I know who ya can talk to."
Muran leans close to him. "I want information on someone named 'Eleutherios'."
The man pulls back and laughs. "Hey, Jostus, lissen ta this! The kid wants information on Eleutherios!"
Another man down the bar laughs, and others join in as well.
"Ain't heard that name around here in years, runt," the bartender says. "He used to be a thief. Cocky little bastard, too. About ten years ago, he got himself captured trying to steal one a' King Mendalleus's prized artifacts... I think it was an ancient urn, or somethin'... Anyhow, Eleutherios tried his best ta escape from the constables, and get someone to help 'im hide out...."
"And what happened?" Muran asks eagerly.
"He got thrown out the front door of the thieves' guild, right inta the waitin' arms of the king's soldiers! That's what happens when ya do nothin' but make enemies left and right. Little weasel went to prison after that, and we never heard of 'im since."
"Do you think he could be back here in Makarios?"
"Only if he's a complete idiot... wait a minnit... He IS! Bwahahahahaaa!!"
Jostus and others join in the laughter.
Muran waits for the laughter to die down, then adds "Can anyone help me find him if he IS here?"
The bartender wipes a tear from his eye, he has been laughing so hard. "Well, tell ya what, kid. I'll ask around, and if I find out anything, I'll let ya know. Just check back here."
"Thanks!" Muran says, hopping off the stool.
"Oh, and kid...Eleu'd be about 29 now, dark hair, thin build unless he's porked out or bulked up in prison. And he has a big dragon tattoo on his chest. Why're you interested, anyhow?"
"A friend of mine was attacked by him... Autolycus."
The bartender almost gasps. "Really? Well, that explains it..."
"Explains what?"
"Autolycus is the one that caused Eleu to get caught in the first place."
CUT TO:
Autolycus picks at the plate of food he has been given, and examines the wooden fork they gave him to eat it with. "Clever," he mutters. "Can't bend it like metal to pick the lock with." He sips from the metallic mug of tepid water and grins. "But they're not THAT clever."
Looking around to make sure no one's watching, he bends the handle of the mug back until it snaps off, then sneaks over and works at the lock. In a few seconds, he is out the door, sneaking past a dozing guard and out into a back alleyway.
He grins, straightens his jacket, and turns to head out of the alley when there is a thump noise. He staggers, and falls to the pavement.
Autolycus fumbles to get at an arrow that is imbedded just below his kneecap. There is movement over by some piles of trash, and Eleutherios climbs down, holding a bow, and smirks.
"Wondered what was keeping you," Eleu says wickedly. "Ooh, that's gotta hurt, doesn't it?"
Autolycus struggles and pulls the arrow out, gasping from the pain.
"Sorry," Eleu says with a mock-apologetic tone, "my arrows are pretty sharp."
"Too bad they don't match their owner," Autolycus says, gritting his teeth because of the pain. "So, how's the family? Especially your sister Malaccia?"
"Oh, she's happily married now and living in Cassopolis. Three kids... oldest one looks quite a bit like you. My mother.. she died of a broken heart while her only son spent ten years rotting in a prison cell. Father disowned me... not fitting for a prosperous landowner to have a thief for a son."
"That's a shame," Autolycus says, trying to sound like he's having a normal conversation. "Really, I feel for you..."
"Not for much longer, you don't."
"Eh?"
Eleutherios grins an exceptionally evil grin. "You think you're in this much pain because of an arrow? Nah. It's the poison."
"What.. poison?"
Eleutherios rolls his eyes. "The poison on the tip of the arrow, you embecile. Extracted from a rare conch found off the coast of Rome. The poison will kill you in 24 hours, 'old friend'... unless you can steal the antidote...."
Autolycus looks up at Eleu weakly as we...
FADE OUT.
ACT TWO
FADE IN
Autolycus is struggling to stand. Eleutherios sits on an old barrel, nonchalant.
"It's really very simple," Eleu says. "Ten years ago, you stole one of those accursed 'ancient artifacts' of King Mendalleus... an urn that was supposed to date back to the time of the titans, I believe."
Eleu leaps off the barrel and pokes his head right up to Autolycus's; they are practically nose-to-nose. "You remember, Autolycus... it had primitive scratchings of a man and a child hunting something that looked like a fuzzy elephant?"
"I remember," Autolycus mumbles. "After all, I got a better look at it than you ever did."
Eleu's eyes flare. "Yes, you did... because you let me fall into the traps."
Autolycus shrugs. "I simply learned from your mistakes..."
Eleu almost strikes him, then thinks better of it and tries to strike his cocky, superior pose. "At any rate, after you stole it and sold it on the black market, it eventually came back into the King's possession. Old fool paid a dungload to get it back, from what I've heard. It's back in his castle now, under tighter guard than ever before.... And inside that urn, if you can get to it in time, you'll find a small cask containing the antitoxin."
"Why are you doing this?"
"Who needs reasons?" Eleu says, hopping back up onto the barrel. "But if you DO need reasons, boy do I have 'em. Let's see..." He starts to count off on his fingers..."One, you taught me how to be a thief, but didn't teach me enough to avoid those traps..."
"I gave you pointers, I wasn't your teacher," Autolycus says, fighting a coughing fit.
"Two, you USED me to find out where the traps were so you could avoid them.... Three, you did NOTHING to rescue me when I was caught..."
"Self-reliance, kid," Autolycus says, leaning against a wall. "It's an important lesson..."
"Four, you deflowered my sister..."
"You're just jealous I wasn't interested in you."
"SHUT UP!" Eleutherios leaps off the barrel and slaps Autolycus hard. "Always with the jokes. You taunt, and you tease, and you mock..."... he pauses, puffs out his chest, and adds smugly, "... And soon, you die."
He kicks Autolycus in the chest, sending the King of Thieves back onto the ground, and then Eleu runs out of the alleyway.
Autolycus climbs back to his feet and staggers out of the alleyway.
CUT TO:
Autolycus walks down the street, staggering up against the walls of buildings occasionally. He is weak, but better than we saw him in the alleyway... or at least, he is determined to keep moving.
Up ahead, he sees a bar, and he stumbles into it, plops down on a stool, and looks at the bartender. "Tor sent me."
The bartender rolls his eyes. "Why does everyone think THIS is the thieves' guild?... hey, waitaminnit... You're Autolycus!!!"
"Ah," Autolycus says weakly. He is now breaking into a sweat. "You've... heard of me..."
Jostus comes over and grabs Autolycus's hand, shaking it vigorously. "You're legendary!"
"I'm still... building my legend... thanks... " He rolls his head back toward the bartender. "I need a pick-me-up."
"Got just the thing!" The bartender says, and starts mixing the contents of several flasks together. "Say, a girl was in here earlier, claimed to know you."
"Really?" Autolycus asks, motioning with his hand to about four and a half feet off the ground... "About yay tall, black hair almost down to her waist, cute as a button?"
"Yeah, that's the one," the bartender says as he hands Autolycus the drink.
"Never heard of her," Autolycus jokes, then swigs down the drink. "Whoa," he says, his eyes popping open. "That... that's good stuff." His voice is hoarse, but he is more coherent than before. "Seriously, though, where'd the kid go?"
"Out looking for information on Eleutherios. Is that fool really back in town?"
"Afraid so. Did she say where she was heading?"
"No, but she'll be back here soon. You can wait..."
"No time. If she comes in, tell her to meet me outside the castle walls."
"Sure th---" the bartender's eyes go wide. "The Castle???"
Autolycus winks, tosses him a coin, and heads out the door.
CUT TO:
The castle, on the outskirts of town. Autolycus moves around, surveying his surroundings. The building itself is mostly vertical, a twelve-story monstrosity. Viewed from above, it would resemble a fat X. The higher levels seem more ornate, and the lower section is little more than basic stonework.
"How'd you escape?" comes a voice that almost makes Autolycus jump out of his skin. He twirls around to see Muran.
"Don't sneak up like that---" He starts angrily, but Muran hugs him and he lets it trail off.
"I was so worried," Muran says. "Don't ever let yourself be caught by the law again. We've been lucky so far..."
"I'm always lucky, kid," Autolycus says reassuringly. "If I wasn't, I'd be a farmer somewhere. Now listen carefully, I have a plan... and if I do say so myself, it's brilliant...."
CUT TO:
Autolycus moves through the bushes, looking around.
"Ah, there we are..." He walks out toward some women who are cleaning linens in a stream that runs by the castle. Pausing a moment to survey the three women, he brushes his hair back, grins, and heads up to one. The target is a cornfed, dimpled blonde with her hair worn in curls. She is in her mid-20s at the latest, and is whistling as she works.
"Enchantra?" Autolycus starts, "I'm so glad to--- oh, I'm sorry, ma'am."
The woman looks up. "Sorry for what?" she says, confused.
"I mistook you for Enchantra... an old acquaintance of mine. You look so much like her."
"Who is she?"
"A model for the finest artists in the realm," Autolycus says matter-of-factly. "Voted most beautiful woman in Thebes two years in a row, surely you've heard of her? Or perhaps, you're related to her?"
"Naw," the woman says, blushing. "I'm just a washerwoman for the king, is all."
"Terribly sorry," he says, taking her hand and gently kissing it. "I didn't mean to bother you."
"Oh, no bother," she replies, smiling shyly. "Not at all."
CUT TO:
The woman peers around a corner. "The coast is clear," she whispers, and pulls Autolycus out from hiding. They scurry along the corridors. They are inside the castle.
"This is really amazing, Enchantra... I mean, Tully," Autolycus says, trying to look as awe-struck as possible. "I've never been inside a castle before."
"Aw, this ain't the main part of the castle, ya see," Tully replies. "There are guards there. This is where our quarters are."
"Mind if I see your quarters? I'm not being too forward, am I?"
Tully blushes more deeply. "I'm not that type of girl, Mister Eroicus," she says. "At least, not so soon after we first met!"
Autolycus seems taken aback. "I just thought I could hide out there til tonight, then you could show me around the rest of the castle in the.." he grins lecherously... ". romantic moonlight."
Tully giggles and shows him to a room barely larger than a linen closet, with one wooden bed, a lamp, and a small window. He takes her hand and kisses it. "I will count the minutes until nightfall," he says. She giggles some more, waves goodbye, and scurries off to return to her duties.
Autolycus watches her go, then clasps his hands together and looks around her tiny room.
CUT TO:
Outside the lower level of the castle. The window to Tully's room flings open and Autolycus leans out, surveying his surroundings. There is no sign of guards; at least, none at an angle where they can see him. "This would be a lot easier with my ropes," he mutters, then climbs out onto the ledge to get a better look above him. The window to the room directly above
him is open. He grins, ducks into Tully's room, and emerges a moment later with her bedspread.
Looking up every few moments, he tears it in several places, then ties a few knots in it. He squints up at the window and flings his makeshift rope, which goes up onto the top of the windowframe. He shifts it back and one of the knots lands in between the window frame and the hinge that attaches it to the wall.
Autolycus glances around and quickly scales the wall, climbing toward the window. He is struggling and fighting dizzy spells, shaking his head to clear it. With great effort, he reaches the window sill above and grabs hold of it. He starts to pull himself up, then loses his grip and falls backwards as we...
FADE OUT.
ACT THREE
FADE IN
Autolycus is falling away from a windowsill about 20 feet off the ground. He grabs desperately at the makeshift rope he was using to reach the window, and is pulled to a hard stop. A tearing sound draws his attention, and he looks up to see that the cloth of the 'rope' is tearing.
He quickly climbs back up and pulls himself in through the window. It is another small bedroom. A guard sleeps soundly, face pressed into his pillow. Autolycus verrry carefully tiptoes over to him. "This is better than I'd hoped for," he whispers, pulling up the makeshift rope behind him. "Time to improvise..."
CUT TO:
The guard's bedroom door swings open. We can see, for a brief moment, the guard, tied up with torn bedsheets, struggling to get up. Autolycus is wearing the guard's armor, which is a bit too big for him. He looks both ways and heads down the hallway, trying to be nonchalant.
CUT TO:
King Mendelleus's Throne Chamber.
The king, a bearded man in his early 60s, sits on his throne. Beside him is a table with a silk cloth on it; on the cloth are an assortment of arrowheads, broken pottery and a flute made of bone.
"This had better be good, Paertus," he says to a guard. "I'm busy examining the new artifacts the royal diggers found..."
"This little girl came to us with a rather unusual story, sir," The guard says, waving to Muran. She stands shyly in the door, averting her eyes. "You'd best hear it from her."
"Come here, child," the king says softly. "What is it?"
Muran shuffles forward and curtseys. "Um... begging your majesty's pardon, I don't want to waste your time sir..."
"Then get to the point," He says warmly.
"My mother ... works... in one of the, uh, taverns in town. And I heard her talking with one of her... uh... customers... He said he was going to steal something from you."
The king sits forward, eyes wide. "WHAT, child? What was he going to steal?"
"I think he said it was the..." She pauses, trying to remember the words..."the 'Harp of Hera'... something like that."
The king frowns. "I have no such object."
"He was laughing. He said you thought it was a simple wooden harp, but that it was really an ancient harp from the days before Olympus. I think he was describing it as being made of black wood---"
"Exhibit 212!" The king yells, jumping up. "Paertus, put every guard in the castle on alert! Triple the security around the west hall exhibits!"
Paertus heads off. The king turns to Muran. "Thank you, child. There will be a reward for this. Perhaps your mother won't have to work in that... tavern anymore."
"Oh, thank you sire!" Muran cries, hugging the man around the neck.
"Can you describe the scoundrel?" The king says gently.
"Oh, yes. And I heard his name... I think it was Ulitheros..."
"Eleutherios," the king says coldly. "I know the villain..."
CUT TO:
A guard races along in the halls, and spots Autolycus-- who is still disguised as a guard.
"We're on alert!" The other guard says. "The king has received a report of a thief. Go to the west hall!"
"Yes, sir," Autolycus says, and watches the man head off.
Autolycus quickly moves toward a doorway marked "East Hall: Exhibits 001-100" and knocks. The door opens. "We're on alert!" says a guard behind the door. "You need to go protect the West Hall..."
"I did, sir," Autolycus says. "They told me they had enough people and that I should come here, in case the thief tries for any other treasures."
"Very well," the guard says, letting him in. Autolycus glances quickly around the darkened chamber. There are four other guards that he can see. The chamber is massive and is filled with objects on pedastals--- it is as if King Mendalleus has set up his own private museum.
The head guard motions to Autolycus and a man near him. "Pelleus, you and... what's your name?"
"Barris," Autolycus offers.
"Pelleus, you and Barris stay here by the door. The rest of you, follow me. We're going to make sure the most prized treasures in this hall are safe." They head off
"I haven't seen you around," Pelleus comments.
"Well... I just grew the mustache recently. You probably just don't recognize me because of that."
"Ah."
They stand silently, guarding the door.
CUT TO:
Muran follows king Mendalleus, whose quick strides she can barely keep up to.
"Tully!" He calls out to one of the cleaning women. "Take this little girl to get her some clean clothes... something the princesses have grown out of, perhaps." He turns to Muran. "And might you be hungry, child?"
"Oh, YES SIR!" Muran says happily.
CUT TO:
Autolycus, bored out of his gourd, standing next to Pelleus.
CUT TO:
Muran enjoying a fine meal at the kitchen table as a hefty woman and an equally hefty man mill about, preparing the royal meal for that evening. Muran has insisted on keeping her overcoat, but under it she wears a nice if slightly faded yellow and orange dress instead of her usual tattered garments.
"Did you enjoy the stew?" The man asks Muran.
"Oh, yes!"
"Not too much salt?"
"Oh, no. It was perfect."
The man smirks at the woman. "I TOLD you that wasn't too much salt."
"I still say that was too much! Why, did you see how much cider that little girl drank? She MUST have been thirsty---"
As they argue, Muran wipes her mouth, glances around, and slips out the door. She glances quickly down the hall and makes her way along the corridors, carefully heading for a central room lined with pillars. There are a few chairs and tables around.
She looks around. "Where IS he?" she whispers to herself. She spots a piece of folded paper and moves over to pick it up. It reads "M. --- Change of Plans. Sit tight. ----A."
Muran wrinkles her nose. "Change of plans?"
CUT TO:
Autolycus leans back against the door. He is sweating profusely.
"You okay, Barris?" the other guard asks.
Autolycus nods weakly.
"Cause you don't look so good." the guard continues. "Kinda pale and weak..."
Autolycus thrusts a fist out that hits the guard in the chin, knocking him back. He slumps, unconscious.
"Not too weak to do THAT," Autolycus says, taking the guard's weapons and heading down the hallway.
He wipes his brow and glances around.
CUT TO:
the central chamber with pillars. A small group of guards move through the room, oblivious to the fact that an 11-year old girl is hiding underneath one of the tables in the room. Muran watches them carefully. She starts to get out from under the table when she hears MORE footsteps and ducks back. "This change of plans better be GOOD," she grumbles quietly.
CUT TO:
The darkened chambers in the east wing. Autolycus spots the pedestal he is looking for: one that holds an urn. It is in the middle of a room off to one side marked "Items 021-030: Elephant Imagery". As he is about to move into the side chamber, a voice calls out "What are you doing there?"
He turns to see the head guard and another guard approaching.
"Someone in a robe came in here," he says quickly. "He knocked out the other guy. I think he went this way...."
Autolycus starts to walk in the room, but the head guard grabs him by the collar and pulls him back.
Autolycus braces for a fight, but...
"Not a smart move. You must not have been in this section before, fella." The head guard takes his sword and pokes at one of the tiles in the floor heading into the side room. There is a whizzing sound and a four-inch wide metal disc flies out from a hole in the wall, striking the blade.
"Ah," Autolycus says. "Good point."
"So he couldn't have come this way. Maybe he headed for the ivory collection!" The two run away, further down the dark corridor.
Autolycus turns back to the room, looks at the boobytrapped floor, and frowns. Then he looks up across the room and arches an eyebrow, contemplating, as we...
FADE OUT
ACT FOUR
FADE IN
We are close up on a clay statuette. It looks like the work of cave people; a primitive but recognizable image of an elephant, about the size of a softball. A placard in front of it reads "Elephant statuette, Found Near Anthellum; Age of Titans (?)". There are a few cracks on the statuette, but it is in remarkable shape for something that is probably tens of thousands of years old...
A foot comes down hard, cracking it like an eggshell.
Autolycus wobbles a bit on the pedestal in question, trying to balance on one foot. He has been using the pedestals to hopscotch across the chamber. Some of the pedestals behind him still have their artifacts intact, but most are damaged: A broken vase here, a shattered slab of rock that once held a cave painting there. So far, Autolycus has managed to avoid touching the floor, but each leap is a challenge and the pedestals are wobbly with his weight. He vaults to the next one, accidentally kicking a wooden carving of an elephant onto the floor. As it hits the ground, several metal discs imbed themselves in it.
Autolycus flinches at this, and continues on his way. Two more leaps, and he is at the urn that was his goal. He picks it up and examines it. The outside depicts a man and a child throwing spears at what appears to be a furry elephant charging at them. "Still don't get the furry elephant part," he mutters. "Who's ever heard of a FURRY elephant?"
He reaches inside the urn and finds a leather pouch. Grinning, he pulls it out and works it open.
CUT TO:
Muran still hiding. There is shouting and footsteps. She looks up and sees Autolycus running down the hall, being pursued by the guards. They are firing arrows at him. She steps out from under the table in time for him to grab her arm and yank her --- too hard for her liking.
"We were supposed to meet here and sneak into the exhibit hall," she says while racing along. "I got them to think you were heading to the other wing, just like we planned---"
"I found a guard's outfit. This plan seemed less risky for you," he replies.
They race behind pillars just in time to avoid a volley of arrows. Autolycus seems disoriented, and stumbles. They head out of the central chamber into a passageway that has windows, and Autolycus smashes one of those windows open. He grabs Muran and vaults out, releasing his grappling hook so they can swing to the ground safely.
Above them, the guards continue to fire arrows.
Autolycus and Muran head into the nearby woods, and then double back toward the stream and dive in. As the guards pile out of the building heading toward the woods, the duo ducks under water. A few moments later, they emerge, coughing.
"I feel bad about stealing from the king," Muran says quietly. "He was nice to me."
"Didn't steal anything," Autolycus coughs. "Might have broken a few things along the way, but..."
Muran helps Autolycus out of the water and behind some bushes, where he lays back and closes his eyes.
"You're getting weaker!" She says, upset. "Didn't you find the antidote?"
He holds up a leather pouch.
"Well, why didn't you take it?"
He pushes the pouch into her hand and lays his head back. He is trying to keep his coughs quiet so the guards won't notice them.
She reaches into the pouch and pulls out a small yellow piece of paper.
"My dearest Autolycus," she reads, "If you are reading this, I must admit I'm surprised. In your weakened condition, I'd have thought the king's guards would have torn you to shreds by now. I was indeed able to sneak in here, and I did bring the antidote, but --- you know what?" Muran's voice grows hoarse and her eyes start to water. "I'm not going to leave it here... after all... Goodbye... old friend..." She looks down at Autolycus, who is fighting to breath...
CUT TO:
Autolycus makes his way through the woods, helped by Muran. It is dark. Autolycus is stumbling more than before.
"Okay, he shot you around noon," Muran says. "I'd say it's not quite midnight yet. He told you that the poison would take 24 hours, and we're not even halfway there. No problem."
"Sure," Autolycus says weakly. "All we have to do is find a thief, who doesn't want to be found, in one of the largest towns in the province. Piece of cake."
"Don't talk like that!" Muran snaps, her eyes still moist from crying. "We're going to get you that cure! Maybe an apothecary..."
"He didn't tell me the name of the poison," Autolycus says. "But he did say it was rare. I doubt there's anyone between here and Rome who knows a cure..."
"Stop talking like that!" She cries. "I'm NOT going to let you die!"
Autolycus stops and leans against a tree. He looks deeply into Muran's eyes. "Look, kid.... if I'm this bad off now, I'll probably be in a coma long before the poison kills me. You can't carry me into town." She looks away, but he puts his thumb under her chin and turns her face back until she faces him.
"You have to accept this," he continues. "If I die---"
"You WON'T---"
"IF I DIE," he continues, "I need you to find someone we trust. Preferably Elissa, or Xena or Eroicus... " He pauses a moment, catching his breath, and continues... "Or Madriaga... Salmoneus if you can't find anyone else... But someone who can help you til you're old enough to fend for yourself."
He slumps against the tree and slides down until he is sitting. He reaches out and strokes her hair. "I know you're gonna make one fine thief, some day, kid... or maybe something a little more prestigious..."
Muran hugs him. "You're not going to die, I won't let you..."
Autolycus grins weakly. "You know what? Back about half a year ago, I helped Xena come back from the dead. You can tell her she owes me a favor..." He leans his head back. "I'm tired, kid. I need to sleep."
"O-okay," she says uncertainly. "I'll stand watch in case the king's guards come."
He smiles. "Paranoid to the end. That'll keep you alive a good long time." He is silent for a moment. "I just wish I'd been able to help you find your mother," he adds.
"We'll find her," Muran says resolutely. "Together. You are NOT going to leave me."
"One thought, kid... Eroicus is a bard as well as an hero. He keeps track of other adventurous-types. Maybe he can help you...find that woman Bong-Cha... see if she really is your mom." He coughs. "Wish I'd thought of that earlier. Maybe we would've headed off to find the big lug instead of coming to Makarios."
Autolycus goes silent, and the two sit together for several minutes, listening to the chirping crickets and other sounds of the nighttime forest.
She notices that he has dozed off. She cuddles up next to him, sobbing softly. Every few seconds, she looks to see that he is still breathing. "Maybe if you get some sleep, you'll feel better," she says softly, though he is already fast asleep. "After all, we still have 12 hours, and you can't die before time's up..." She gently brushes some hair that is lying on his wet brow, and looks around desperately.
Checking him again, she stands. "I'll go into town," she whispers resolutely, her fist shaking with rage. "I'll find that creep and MAKE him give me the antidote. If I have to search every barn in the province. There's got to be SOMETHING I can do."
"Not really," comes a voice that startles her.
A figure drops down from a nearby tree branch. It is Eleutherios, clad in dark leather.
She jumps back. "Who are you?"
"Not a friend," he says coldly.
"Ulyuthros?"
"El-eu-ther-i-os. By Hermes, why can't anyone pronounce my name?"
Muran lets out an almost-primal scream as she races toward Eleutherios and pounds on him. Her small fists do no damage, and he pushes her back easily.
"Cure him!" she demands.
"Don't have to," Eleutherios says smugly. "He's not dying."
"What do you mean he's---"
"The poison isn't lethal. It just weakens him for about 16 hours. Once he gets it out of his system, he'll be his usual self... for what that's worth."
Muran is dumbstruck. "Why should I believe you?"
Eleutherios rolls his eyes. "You know, my plan was SO simple. He would think he had to get at the urn. In his weakened state, he would be an easy catch for the guards, and they would put him in a prison cell for decades to come."
"Then what about the note?" she asks angrily.
"A final jab. To make him think his life was ending, if he made it that far. He wouldn't have put up a fight then, and the guards could have captured him." Eleutherios glares at Muran. "But it turns out he was still putting up a fight so he could get you to safety."
"We're friends," Muran says.
"How incredibly touching," Eleutherios says sarcastically. "You know, I do want to kill him, but I'd rather make him suffer."
"You go near him, and I'll---"
"You'll do nothing, runt. Because I'm not going near him. Not now." He leans in close to her.
"Tell you what," he continues. "we'll call a truce this time. I won't slash his throat open.... this time. But next time we meet, no promises."
He turns and strides toward the woods. Muran kneels to check on Autolycus, who has slept through all this.
Eleutherios turns and watches her brush Autolycus's hair back and feel his temperature.
He smiles sadly, turns back, and heads into the all-enveloping darkness of the forest.
CUT TO:
Dawn. Autolycus wakes, stretching. "I feel like a million dinars," he says. Muran is nibbling on berries, and has left a pile of them near him. The woods are alive with noise, and sunlight streams between branches.
"The berries're good," she says, happy that he is awake. "Have some. Get your strength up, so we can make it back to town where there are taverns with real food."
"Shouldn't I be worse now?" he asks.
She shrugs. "Maybe you're immune to the poison. Or maybe it just wasn't a big enough dose. But you're gonna be safe now, so don't worry about it."
Autolycus scoops up the berries and pops a few in his mouth. "There's more to this story, isn't there?" he asks suspiciously.
"I'll explain it to you later... near as I understand it myself," she says.
They sit together in the forest clearing, eating berries, as we...
FADE OUT.
END CREDITS ROLL, then shrink to tiny proportions.
VOICEOVER: In his career as the King of Thieves, Autolycus has travelled many places...
(shot from Episode 06 of teenage Autolycus in the midst of a brawl in an Asian bar)
(shot of Autolycus and Xena hanging over the side of the boat from the Xena episode 'The Royal Couple of Thieves')
(shot of Autolycus racing along the side of a pyramid, with Mahmoud-- the large muscular Arab seen in Episodes 07 and 08--- chasing him)
(montage of various castles and cities we have seen in past episodes)
VO: But he's about to go...
(Autolycus tumbling backwards in some sort of energy vortex, screaming)
VO: Someplace....
(a blinding flash of colorful light that builds in intensity, then starts to fade)
VO: Entirely...
(Autolycus falls out of the burst of light and lands hard on the ground. He rolls over, groaning. )
VO: New....
(We are now looking from Autolycus's point of view. He is laying on the ground in a forest. A portly, mostly-bald man in brown robes approaches, examining him. The man looks up and calls out "Come take a look at this!"
The head of a muscular, bearded man appears on the other side and arches his eyebrows.
The portly man looks over to the bearded man. "What do you make of this, Little John?"
The bearded man shrugs....)
VO: Coming soon...
No prehistoric elephant statues were harmed in the making of this episode.