Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters.
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"Hello folks!" Everyone's favorite host, Chris McLean, was sprawled shirtless in a lawn chair on a ship's deck, a tropic beach behind him. He was showing off every one of his pearly whites to the camera. "Last time our Total Drama cast was seen swimming away from the island as it is being covered by lava due to an unfortunate pineapple incident. Oops! Our bad." He shrugged guilelessly.
"After that we didn't see them for a while. Seriously, we had to cast an entirely new group for season four." Chris leaned forward and lowered his voice. "You'll be seeing them soon enough." He winked at an unseen audience.
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"So here's what happened…" A new camera angle had Chris walking into a ship's cabin whilst pulling on a fluffy white bathrobe. "While desperately escaping from the exploding volcano, the majority our cast got turned around and instead of heading back towards the mainland were swept out to sea." Chris reached up and pulled down a world map to illustrate his point. "Somewhere in that direction." He gestured vaguely towards the middle of the Pacific Ocean.
"Anyhoo." He let the map snap back up out of sight and directed his attentions back towards the camera. "Our cast managed to luckily wash ashore on a seemingly deserted island. Fortunately, so did some of our interns and crew along with their equipment. And it is with truly stunning dedication," Chris put a hand to his chest as if his black heart was actually moved in some way. "They continued to follow around our castaways filming them in secret. They planned to sell the footage to some hotshot producer once they got back to civilization. Coincidentally, I was passing by in my luxury giga yacht and managed to get there first, thus obtaining the film for your viewing pleasure." He grinned. "Totally, legally of course."
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"Ladies and Gentlemen," declared the host, voice dropping to a death whisper, the camera zoomed in so close that just his eyes were shown. "The following footage you will see is raw, uncut, and far more graphic then anything we've previously shown! This is not for the faint hearted! We've captured the very dark, depths of the human soul! THIS is a true survival story!
"Ahem. Now that said," Chris cleared his throat, reverting back to his normal cheery demeanor. The camera pulled back to show he was standing in-between two sleek, white cabin doors. "To revisit the nostalgic feel of the last three seasons, we have here a confessional cam at the stern of the vessel, otherwise known as the poop deck." He pushed open the door on his left to reveal a tiny bathroom with wooden interior and a single, round, portal window above the toilet. "Although, it's after the fact, we've incorporated segments of the cast's declarations of the following events as to give you, the viewers, an insight into their deep and personal feelings. Heheh. Not that anyone really cares about that kind of stuff…" He existed out the other door.
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Now fully dressed in his usually garb, Chris was back on deck leaned against the side railing of the boat.
"So sit back and enjoy…" He spread his arms wide, awaiting his theme music and right on cue… "Total. Drama. THE MOVIE!" Chris finished with a dazzling white smile.
Thoughts anyone? Haven't posted anything in a while. See my profile for details.