A Mindful Of Memories, Only One Mistake
A/N this is a one shot I have had planned for new year bt didn't get around to writing it in time so I thought I'd put it up now because WAH is bk, well for 10 weeks anyway :D
I know the title is well long bt I struggled to name this without giving the plot away. Anyway any suggestion to what I should change it to after reading are greatly appreciated.
Anyway hope you enjoy this - and watching WAH tonight :D
(PS) this is set 5 weeks after Alice went to the UK and she is still there…..
(X)
Danny sat in his old room in Leopards Den. The room illuminated by a single candle. The wind blew cold and hard outside, inside he was the same as he'd been the last 5 weeks - alone. He closed his eyes. The house was empty, soulless now but years ago…..he remembered arriving here on that first day with Sarah. Just for a family holiday, a way of binding this dysfunctional family together he remembered the kids, so young.
Evan an angry young boy so far from the man he'd become.
Rosie, again a different person. She had matured so much, visibly blossomed before his eyes. Once she had been a self cantered young girl and now here she was, a married woman
And Livvie, his little Livvie. Yeah he called her Liv but deep inside she would always be Livvie to him. She needed so much to be here! She was starting to find her way, the way her older siblings had and now that had been halted.
He closed his eyes tighter trying to keep a tight grip on his memories, trying desperately to make them real. Trying to fill this old house with love and family like before. He could almost hear the slamming of doors. Dupe arguing with Caroline over some small misdemeanour. Could almost smell Nomsa's cooking. Dupe's muttering about being hungover. He could hear his wife…..his breathe exhaled from him in a rush. God he could feel Alice here, she permeated the walls, existed in the air around him. Her footsteps littered every inch of the floor. How he missed her!
This was the only place he felt close to her recently. He spoke to her often, thought about her the rest of the time and dreamt of while he was asleep. He shouldn't feel like he hadn't seen her because he saw her in his mind every second of every day. Yet she was away and the thought was destroying him slowly. God HE MISSED HER! The feel of her, the never ending smiles she sent his way. Her strength, her character, the bump that should have made her look funny due to her small stature but it fit her so perfectly. He missed all of her, and he missed their child.
He covered his eyes. He was no good. How may time has he convinced himself he was going home to her? Each time he stopped himself, knowing that if for any reason he had to come back and leave her again he physically wouldn't be able to do it. He couldn't walk away from her and he especially couldn't watch her leave again! He closed his eyes once again and tried to imagine that she was here. He closed them tighter trying to muster up some memory….and couldn't do it. His head hung dejected, opened his eyes and looked at the box at his knees. This was something no one knew about. Not Dupe, not the kids, not even Alice. Just him. He trailed his finger across the top. He hadn't meant to accumulate so much stuff, yet he had. His memory box. If this didn't make him feel close to her then he didn't know what to do. He exhaled sadly checked his watch. He had to go home soon, he always rang Alice before she went to sleep. He wished he was there in person, to kiss her goodnight. To give her a back rub when Junior kicked her all night, to wait on her, wrap her in cotton wool. Fuss over her til he drove her insane.
"So this is what you've been doing since I've been away." A soft Scottish voice chided. "I knew I kept you in line."
Danny's eyes popped open, his head spun towards the door. He saw Alice leant against the door frame, her hand at the small of her back. "Alice?" he whispered.
"This is my welcome? When was the last time you saw me?" she counted off the weeks on her fingers. "About 5 weeks ago!"
Danny was on his feet in seconds and ran to her. The distance disappeared in mere seconds and he was beside her. Wrapped her in his arms tightly.
She sighed and hugged him back, had to fight to keep the tears from her eyes. "That's better." she cleared her throat, emotion clogging it. "I'm surprised you can still get your arms around me. Little TJ is a lot bigger."
Danny pulled back and looked at her bump. "TJ? A boy?"
"I have no idea." Alice told him. "I christened the baby. I don't like calling the baby it so it is TJ, Trevanion Junior."
Danny knelt down and pressed a kiss to her bump, bigger than he remembered it. "Daddy missed you too." he felt an answering kick beneath his palm. He smiled eyes shining. Stood up and looked at his wife. "I missed you so much." he caressed her face.
"Me too, day and night. Even when we were on the phone. It wasn't the same being without you so I came home."
He swallowed hard. "I can't tell you how relieved I am that you did."
Alice looked around at the empty room. "So Danny what are you doing here?"
"You mean apart from missing you so much it hurt?"
"Yeah."
"Just remembering. The kids when we first came here, the noise and chaos. You. Just Leopards Den really."
"It's too quiet now." Alice agreed. "It's like the house knows and has lost it's life."
"You feel it too?"
Alice nodded.
He remembered his box he closed the door and took her hand.
"Danny just in case you were thinking you're gonna get lucky can I remind you there is no bed in here!"
Danny laughed and touched her face. "We have 4 walls."
She gave him a pointed look. "Good luck!"
He surrendered. "Actually since you're here I think it's passed time that I showed you something. A collection of mine." he sat her down and sat behind her supporting her back. She lifted the box and rested it on her knee.
"Some of these will need explained." he murmured opening the lid.
Alice was looking at a collection of completely random items. None of them seemed to make sense.
She picked up a clear bag, it had brown dust in it. She frowned at it.
Danny smiled leant back against the wall and pulled her back against him. His chin rested on her head. One of his arms around her stomach holding her close. "I was hoping you'd start with that. Don't you recognise it?"
"Danny it's brown dust!"
"Ah not just any brown dust! It's dust from the copy, our copy!"
A slow smile spread across her face. "Really?"
He nodded. "That night, this is no lie! I went back to get something. A souvenir. I could still see our footprints and I took some dust from where we stood. We'll never be far from the place we had our first kiss now."
"Oh God!" she breathed. "That is so sweet!"
"I wanted something, I know I had you…" he shrugged kissed the top of her head.
Alice placed the bag back in the box gently, picked up another item.
"So this is where it went!" Alice muttered picking up her favourite lip gloss. "I secretly blamed Rosie you know! Thought she accidentally took it with her when she left. It's my favourite."
Danny smiled. "I knew it was your favourite. Why do you think I took it? Everything in here is of particular significance to me because it is all you."
"God Danny you're gonna make me cry!" she sniffed. "And I'm taking this back!" she pocketed her lip gloss.
He put his lips close to her ear. "Plenty more where that came from." he laughed softly.
Alice picked up some money. Counted 300 rand. "Money?"
"The first time I won a bet and you actually paid up!" he told her.
"Hey I always pay my debts!"
"Yeah, just not to me." he joked. "That's ok, I got payment in kind." he wiggled his eyebrows.
"Yeah my husband pays me." she laughed.
"Ha ha wifey. " how much had he missed this? Just sitting with her talking about nothing.
Alice next picked up some light blue cloth. It fell open and she grinned.
"My mini mid life crisis. The t-shirt you cut me…."
"I operated." she corrected.
"Alice you cut me out of there!"
"It was touch and go." she fingered the material. "I got you back though."
"In the nick of time!" he kissed her cheek.
"I see you stole another item!" she picked up a black scrunchie and hair clip.
"Well you cut all your gorgeous hair off so I souvenired these. You gave all the other ones to Charlie to play with."
He saw her pick up a red bow.
"From my first present as your girlfriend?"
He nodded.
"Tell me you have never had Dupe get another present for me off you. That hyena was bad, that perfume was worse! It reeked!"
"Never!" he said seriously ran his hand down the back of her cheek. She leant into his touch.
Next Alice picked up a withered rose. "This?"
He took the flower from her and placed it down gently. "From your proposal bouquet, the time you said yes."
Alice breathed, touched the flower gently. "Wow."
"You're telling me!" he declared. "You never let those flowers out of your sight! It was so hard trying to get one so you wouldn't notice!"
"I knew you were plotting against my flowers!" she joked.
There were a few more items. A ticket stub from the first time they went to the cinema, the mistletoe from their first Christmas they spent together. The mistletoe was a happy memory coz he kept pulling her under it, which disgusted the family no end! Then the cupcake wrapper from the time she and Charlie made muffins that turned out to be rock cakes…..literally! The teddy bear he was supposed to win her at a carnival that she won herself in half the time. The glass that they toasted their relationship to when Caroline came home. Both scan pictures of their baby and the final thing was a tile from the roof.
Alice picked it up. He wrapped his hands around hers as she held it. He lowered his voice. "This was from our first home together. From the place that brought us together, that allowed our love to blossom and grow. From the place we built our family, where we created our child." he smiled. "Actually this is specifically from when the roof collapsed as second after you told me about TJ."
She turned her hands and clutched his. The tile fell to the floor forgotten.
"It doesn't really bother me where I am Alice." he murmured. "Anyway is home as long as you're there with me. You're all I'll ever need."
"With that type of devotion I'd be a fool to ever leave!" she sniffed. "You know I promised myself I wouldn't cry when I saw you."
He laughed softly. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be." she inhaled. "I guess I finally understand how much you actually missed me. How much you love me. I knew you loved me a lot before but that box. Danny it's practically sums up our whole relationship."
"So far." he added. "There is so much more to experience. So many more memories to make."
She nodded, they packed the box away
"And in the future." she murmured closing the box. "When we get this place back, our baby asleep, the other kids making that noise and chaos you spoke about we'll add more stuff to our box."
He came from behind her and faced her. "I brought this box here to see if it made me feel closer to you and like magic you just appear here." he smiled. "The box, my memory has nothing on the real thing!"
She smiled. "I love you so much Danny."
"Love you always Alice, forever until eternity." and they sealed the vow with a kiss.