X-ray vision
By Mystic 777
Cloud raised a golden eyebrow at the clanking pile of chain mesh Tifa laid on the armorer's counter. The slight flush on her cheeks only increased when Cloud pulled what appeared to be a chainmail bikini from the pile.
"Tifa, what is this?" Cloud dropped the piece as if burned.
"Just pay for it!" Tifa hissed, averting her eyes. "I'll explain later!"
As the pair traveled from the town to meet the rest of the party, Cloud shot the brunette questioning looks. The woman clutched the package close to her bosom and ignored him.
"Well?" Aerith asked when the two returned.
"It was just as I thought," Tifa replied grimly, grabbing the other woman's arm and retreating into the bushes.
Cloud, Barret, and Red XIII exchanged confused looks. After several minutes, the two returned, shifting uneasily, yet looking relieved at the same time. Where most people would ask what was going on, Cloud folded his arms and shot the well-endowed woman a questioning look.
"Alright, alright!" Tifa brushed a strand of hair behind her ear and spoke with averted eyes. "They were lead bikinis, for Aerith and me."
"Why?" Cloud asked.
Tifa shifted uneasily and looked at Aerith. "You figured it out," the Ancient shrugged, "explain it to them like you did to me."
Shaking her head, the martial artist asked, "How do people usually describe Sephiroth when we ask about him?"
The men of the party exchanged quizzical looks. "They say he's 'a man in a black cloak with a tattoo of a number one on his hand.'" Barret responded with a shrug. "What's that got to do with anything?"
"That's the thing," Tifa rubbed her hands up and down her arms. "Sephiroth wears gloves."
Barret made a confused noise, but Cloud's eyes widened and he paled.
"You wouldn't happen to have noticed if they sold boxers?" He asked in a tight voice. At her nod, the blond spun on his heel and headed back for town. The sound of Barret's cursing rang through the descending night.
Author's Notes: I can't help but think the whole issue with TSA's body scanners prompted this. Please review and let me know what you think!