What It Means to Make Amends
A/N: Well, what can I say? It's an SO4 fanfic, and it's Crowe-centric too. I mean, the guy really needs some appreciation...and I just happen to be a major fangirl of his. x.x; Ironically, I haven't even played SO4 yet (don't even have an Xbox 360, haha) but I do get my info from watching recorded cutscenes (including endings) on Youtube, and I suppose GameFAQs also counts. -cough spoiled myself silly cough- In fact, all the theories gathered on the boards are basically the inspiration for this work here. I'll, ehm...give a small insight in the next chapter...maybe.
Timeline: Takes place after the hidden "Crowe ending". (This prologue, however, takes place during the events before).
Rating: T for now. May go up, may not.
Warnings: SPOILERS, SPOILERS, AND MORE SPOILERS. Aside from that, some info may be off because again, I don't own the game. So uh, no flaming...'kay? And uh...Crowe just -might- be slightly OOC.
Possible pairs: TBA later.
Disclaimer: I don't own the Star Ocean series. If I did, I would make it official that Ilia Silvestri is Claude C. Kenny's mother. And SO4 would have more of Crowe. A lot more. xD
Notes: This chapter, and this chapter only, is told from Crowe's POV (he's narrating). All the other chapters will be third-person.
P r o l o g u e
A.D. 2064. After the tragic aftermath of World War III, Earth was reduced to a desolate, ruined, inhospitable world, and humankind had sought to start over - by venturing into the great star ocean, to find a new world of their own... a world without any conflict or wars that would have the same catastrophic effect.
Several years later...S.D. 10. The first official Space Reconnaisance Force mission had begun. Five SRF fleets had begun their journey into the universe, as mankind's last hope.
I was one of Earth's "seeds of hope", as the captain of the SRF-001 Aquila. My reason for joining the SRF was to help humanity make amends for their past mistakes.
But...
I feel like I didn't do anything to help. In fact, I can't help but feel as if I have only made things worse...
It all started when we were heading for Aeos. As the Aquila executed an emergency warp-out following a warp anomaly, we had ended up far from Aeos, where perhaps I had made my first costly mistake...
"Where...are we?" I pondered as I looked out into the visuals. Amidst the endless ocean of stars, Aeos was nowhere to be seen. "Status report!"
"Captain, we appear to have warped out to an unknown region of space. I can't seem to find Aeos or any other planets on the radar, sir."
"Damn..." I muttered to myself. I wonder how the others are doing...are they safe? Did they make it to Aeos? I thought. I was especially concerned about Edge and Reimi, two old friends of mine who were also in the SRF - onboard the SRF-003 Calnus, in fact. I could only hope they made it to Aeos safely.
"Hold on!" one of my crewmen exclaimed. "What is that?"
I looked out into the visuals once again...and saw a foreign spacecraft - it definitely wasn't one of the SRF's ships - pursued by some...monstrous-looking ship that looked like it had fused with a frightening creature. "What...the hell is that thing? !" I thought out loud. The alien warship then fired at the other ship, damaging it, and it was then that I knew what to do.
"What are your orders, Captain?"
...
"Charge all weapons, aim for the warship, and fire!"
As the alien warship disintegrated, we immediately rushed to the spacecraft.
"What do we do now, Captain?"
"...Hail the vessel."
The visual screen showed a young man, about my age, with long, purple hair and pointed ears. What kind of race is...?
I shouted to the man over the signal, "We shot the warship down! It's safe. The enemies are gone!"
When the man responded, I could not understand a word he said.
"What are you saying? ... Hey! This ship is from Earth! We're not your enemies! It's all right!"
He did not seem to be in any sort of distress as he continued to speak in the complex language I could not understand, even as flames continued to engulf the ship's bridge.
"Damn it...I can't understand you! Your ship is finished! You have to get out of there!"
I'm not even sure he was aware that I couldn't understand him. He seemed to be saying something about "Myuria" a lot. At the time, I didn't know that "Myuria" was the name of this man's wife.
"'Myu...ria'? What does that mean?...Hey, you all right? Say something."
He only said, "Myuria..."
"Hang in there...No! Don't die on me!"
In a matter of seconds, the transmission ended as the ship was entirely swallowed up in flames. I could do nothing but watch as the man died inside the exploding spacecraft.
Why?...Am I that helpless? I couldn't even save him...
"Captain?"
I immediately snapped out of my trance. "Yes?"
"I'm picking up something else on the radar...judging by its signature, it's likely an escape pod."
A survivor...? "Hurry, hail the escape pod!"
The on-screen image changed to show a young woman, with long, pink hair and pointed ears, just like the man I had failed to rescue. Another one...?
However, the minute she saw me through the transmission in her escape pod, she seemed...terrified. Perhaps...terrified of me. I didn't know why back then, but before I could say anything, she started to scream.
I quickly turned to one of my crewmen and shouted, "End the transmission!"
"Roger."
Unfortunately, that was the least of my concerns then. As we left, we were under attack by the same hostile race - the Cardianon- that had attacked the civilian ship earlier. The minute I thought my crew and I were done for, we had received a transmission from a Morphus - the same race as those two people I saw earlier- scientist who went by the name of Bacchus D-79, who was on a mission to investigate a hostile alien race called the "Grigori". After hearing some background on the Grigori, I agreed to assist him - myself and my crew. But we didn't get far, as, after arriving on the Cardianon mothership, we were all captured. After I told him of my predicament, he told me to head to his home planet, En II, and to deliver a message concerning some new details about the Grigori. He also handed me a translator to decode the message I could not understand earlier.
"I can't believe...we made it out alive..." I muttered to myself, out of breath, as I sat back in the captain's seat.
"What are your orders now, Captain?"
I turned to my navigator, and said, "Set a course for En II."
"Roger."
I stood up and began to walk out of the Bridge.
"Captain? Where are you going?"
"If any of you need me, I'll be in my quarters."
...
As I walked into my quarters, I sat down on my bed, looking out into the stars. What could this all mean? I thought. Just then, I remembered that I had the translator device, so I decided to listen to the message again. What could that man have meant to say...?
I activated the translator as I listened to the recording, and what I heard the man say astonished me.
"...You people saved me?"
What...?
"Many thanks... I am of the Morphus. My name is...Lucien Tionysus."
This man was also...?
"Brave man...In the hopes that my words will someday be passed on, I leave this message with you...I pray that you will be able to deliver this, my final message, to her...My beloved wife, Myuria..."
So Myuria is this man's...?
"Please, forgive me for sending you into space alone. I didn't have much time left, and it was the only way to protect you..."
Simply by listening to his words, I could feel the regret he felt in those moments. I couldn't help but have the feeling that I had unknowingly caused such a great tragedy. A tragedy that I wanted to avoid, but just couldn't.
"Myuria, I regret there are not many things I could leave to you...But I am so thankful for the happiness that meeting you brought me...so happy for all the wonderful days we spent together...Myuria. Myuria, my love, I will love you forever..."
I was speechless, as I felt such sorrow come over me like a torrent of rain. It was my fault...I know it.
"I want you to live...and be happy..." And at that, the message ended.
Trembling, I gently placed the device that held the recorded message into my pocket. Then...I could hold it back no longer.
"Damn it!" I shouted. "Why...? Why did something like this have to..."
I heard the door to my quarters open. "Captain, we'll be entering En II shortly...Are you okay?"
"Huh?" I glanced at my subordinate and realized that I was starting to cry. I brushed my tears away and said, "I'm fine...let's go."
Myuria... I thought to myself as I started to walk out of my quarters. She must have been the woman I saw that time, in the escape pod...When I see her again, I'll apologize to her.
After arriving at the Morphus's home planet of En II, I met with their leader, Giotto Vandione, and learned the disturbing truth about the Grigori. Shortly after, I had received confirmation of a Grigori hiding out on Aeos, and I immediately headed there. On the way, I had spotted several Eldarian ships under attack while attempting to evacuate from Eldar, which was about to be swallowed whole by their sun. I managed to rescue the Captain of the 13th Armored Division, Arumat P. Thanatos, from his damaged ship, and escorted the Eldarian refugee ships to Aeos. Unfortunately, another tragedy was about to unfold...or rather, one after another.
It turned out that the Eldarian exploration base was in ruins, and it just so happened that Edge and his crew were under attack by Phantoms. After Arumat and I wiped out the remaining Phantoms, I walked over to Edge and his crew.
"Mr. Crowe," Bacchus said, "I see you made it to En II safely."
"Thanks for your help on Cardianon, Bacchus." I turned to Edge and Reimi, and said, "Yo, Edge, Reimi. Long time no see, huh?"
As Edge walked over to me, he said, "You bastard, I thought you'd gotten yourself killed. Crowe..."
Unexpectedly, a flash of lightning struck the ground where I was about to walk over to. I jumped back, and saw a figure stepping out of the shadows.
It was her. She looked somewhat different than when I saw her first, but I knew that was her.
Myuria.
"Stop!" I heard Edge shout to Myuria.
"Just stand aside, boy...unless you have a desire to get caught up in this...!" Myuria replied, her voice full of rage, as she pointed her rod at me.
What's going on? Why is she...?
I looked at her, and said, "Have we...met somewhere before? I'm not the type to forget a pretty face."
Does she want to...kill me? Why?
"Mufufufu...finally...finally!" She started to laugh insanely, and I knew it had something to do with me. "I knew staying with the boy was the right choice. I never imagined I'd find you so quickly...my mortal enemy!"
"Stop!" I heard Reimi cry to Myuria. "This is some kind of misunderstanding!"
Myuria ignored Reimi, and, still looking at me, said to me, "You may have forgotten me, but ohhh, I remember you. Your face hasn't been out of my mind for even a moment...! At last, here and now, my beloved shall be avenged!"
So that's what this is about...
Myuria grasped her rod tightly, charging her spell, tears streaming down her face. "I'll kill you...I WILL KILL YOU! !"
Arumat stepped forward, but I gestured him to stay back. I knew I could handle this situation.
"DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE! ! !"
As the lightning blast fired from her rod, I dodged the blast as quickly as I could, ran to her, and gripped her staff to stop her.
"I'm sorry, Myuria," I said, as she struggled to get her rod out of my grip. "Could you just...listen to me for a minute?"
"Let go! Let go of it! !"
"I have something for you...from Lucien Tionysus."
Myuria stopped struggling when she heard Lucien's name, and looked at me. "How do you know Lucien's name...?"
I pulled the device that held Lucien's final recording out of my pocket, and began to relay the message. At first, Myuria was suspicious, but when she heard Lucien say, "You people saved me?" she was shocked.
Dropping her staff, she took the device from my hands. "Lucien...!"
"Lucien left a message before he died," I said. "Please...I want you to hear it."
Simply hearing that sorrowful message again made my heart ache. I was overcome with feelings of guilt, as in a way, I was responsible for all this.
After the message ended, Edge asked me, "What was that about?"
Turning to him, I replied, "The warp accident when we were heading for Aeos." I turned to Myuria, and continued, "When we were thrown out of the wormhole, we sighted a vessel under attack by a Cardianon warship. Once we shot down the Cardianon warship, we hailed the crippled vessel and offered to rescue their crew."
Myuria turned to me, and started to sob.
"But..." I continued, "as you just heard...we weren't able to communicate with each other properly."
"Myuria Tionysus." I looked at her. "I've been searching for you ever since that incident. Finally, I am able to pass this on. And also..."
I looked down, overcome with regret. "I finally get to apologize. I'm sorry...so sorry I wasn't able to protect someone so important to you."
As Myuria heard those words, she collapsed onto her knees, sobbing, clutching the device that held the recording tightly. "Lucien...Lucien...!"
Simply by looking at her, I could feel her sadness. I decided to just leave her be, and then proceeded to tell Edge and his companions all that I learned about the Grigori. When they learned what had happened to everyone at the base, they were overwhelmed with grief. It was just...depressing, seeing them like that. It was like all hope had just dissipated.
"Damn it!" Edge shouted. "What the hell are the Grigori? Why would they...do something like that! ?"
"I have no idea," I said to him, "but I do know there are steps to take to make sure such tragedies aren't repeated. Too many lives were sacrificed..."
"What have I...what have I been doing?" I heard Faize, an Eldarian and one of Edge's comrades, say. "My bretheren were threatened by the Grigori, and I...didn't do anything to help...!"
I looked at him, and yet again I found myself being the bearer of bad news.
"That's right, you're Eldarian. There's somethi-"
"I will explain," Arumat said.
"Arumat...are you sure?"
"I am."
After Arumat told Faize all that had happened, Faize was in denial. "That's a lie...it has to be..." I could hear his voice full of disbelief and sadness. "It's all lies! You must be lying!"
"Keep your head, lad!" Arumat retorted. "You may have lost your home, but if you are an Eldarian, do not lose your pride with it."
In an attempt to console him, I walked over to him and said, "Faize, listen. Your people haven't been destroyed. As luck would have it, Commander Gaghan returned to Eldar and ordered an evacuation."
"What?" Faize said, looking up at me. "Commander Gaghan is...alive?"
"I won't tell you not to grieve for your lost home and comrades. But don't give up. As long as those Eldarians are still out there, there are things you have to do."
"What are you going to do now, Crowe?" Edge asked me. I replied, "Get rid of the Grigori on this planet, of course, and protect the Eldarian refugee ships."
"What?" Faize said. "My Eldarian brethren are here?"
"Yeah," I said. "They're with the Aquila, orbiting Aeos-"
Just then, I received a transmission from the Aquila.
"What?...Understood. I'll be there as soon as I can. And tell them to get out of there as fast as possible! Got it?"
This can't be happening...
"I screwed up," I muttered to myself. "Too careless..."
"Did something happen?"
I said to Edge, "That was from the Aquila. Apparently, the refugee fleet is under attack by Phantom ships. I'm going back up there to take command. I have to ensure their safety first before we can think about the Grigori."
"Roger that, Crowe," Edge replied. "You protect the Eldarians. We'll get rid of the Grigori."
"Edge...?"
"The Eldarians must be protected, but we can't just leave the Grigori here."
You sure about this, Edge? "You know there's no turning back," I told him.
"I know," he replied. "I'm prepared."
I'm glad...to know that you still believe in me...maybe now, I can make things right.
"All right, I'll leave it to you." I turned to Arumat, and said, "Arumat, you go with Edge. You know where the Grigori is too, right?"
"If that is your decision," Arumat replied, "I have no objections."
Edge turned to me and said, "I guess this is goodbye again..."
I replied to him, "Aw, come on. We have the same objective. We'll meet each other soon enough."
I placed my hand on his shoulder and said, "If you believe in me as much as you say you do, go to En II. Find out how to save the galaxy."
As I started to head back, Myuria called to me, "Hold it."
I walked toward her, still feeling regret over not being able to save the man she loved.
"You're going to help those people?" she asked.
"Yeah...I am. So I'm afraid I can't let you kill me yet."
"!"
"It's a fact I was not able to save your husband. You have the right to do whatever you want with me...But for now...I need you to wait...please." I bowed my head, solemnly.
"...You really are a fool."
"Huh?"
"Jumping into the jaws of death for people you don't even know? Come now, only a fool would do such a thing," she said, smiling at me.
"Myuria..."
She turned to Edge and said, "Look like you win, boy."
Edge replied, "It had nothing to do with winning or losing. I just believed in my friend."
Thank you, Edge.
Myuria looked at me and said, "Leave the boy and his friends to me. I'll take care of them for you. This is my...and Lucien's...thanks to you."
Myuria...
"Thank you."
As I ran off, I noticed Faize was a few steps behind me. All I heard was that he really wanted to make sure his brethren would be safe. Arumat gave Faize the controls to the Sol, and, after bidding his friends farewell and promising them they would meet again on En II, he followed me back to the Aquila.
However, I found myself letting the young Eldarian down.
...
It was a fierce battle. The Eldarian ships were flanked by Phantom warships.
"SOS from Eldarian vessel 18! They're hit! Engines out!"
"Vessel 7's been destroyed! Damn it...they've already signaled surrender...!"
"Damn!" I shouted as I banged on the dashboard. "How many of the Eldarians have gotten away?"
"Just three ships...less than twenty percent of the fleet, sir."
"Captain! Another SOS from ship 18! ...No...it's gone."
"No..." I overheard Faize say. "My brethren...right in front of my eyes...even though...I'm so close..."
Faize... I can't let him down now.
"How many ships are going to survive this...? No, this isn't the time for worrying. Our mission now is to get as many of these ships to safety as we can."
Standing up, I ordered, "Aquila, full power to shields! Bring up the rear of the Eldarian formation and act as their barrier! Once in position, open fire! We'll cover the Eldarian escape with a full-scale volley!"
But before we could do anything, the Aquila was hit.
"Report!"
"Our engine's hit! The Aquila's lost propulsion, sir!"
"What?"
"The enemy's ignoring us! They're making a full assault on the refugees!"
I glanced at the radar projection, and what I saw appalled me.
"Vessels 5, 37, 40 down! This is...they're slaughtering them! !"
Why am I so powerless? ! Faize...I'm sorry...I let you down...
I overheard Faize mutter, "They're going to die...they're all going to die..."
"Damn it!" I shouted. "Get those engines repaired now! Faize!" I looked back, but he wasn't there.
"Faize?"
"Captain! One of the airlocks is opening!"
Faize...? ! "He wouldn't...Quickly! Hail the Sol!"
I saw Faize over the transmission, the expression on his face serious. He was that dead-set on trying to protect his brethren.
"Faize! Come back!" I shouted to him.
"I can't stand this anymore," he said. "Watching my brethren die meaningless deaths is too painful..." And at that the transmission ended.
"Faize! !"
Before I knew it, I was assaulted fiercely. My entire crew perished, and my ship was badly damaged. Even I had sustained several injuries myself.
I ran into Edge and his crew again, during the assault on Nox Obscurus.
I hailed the Calnus. "Yo...Sorry I'm late...Edge."
"Crowe! Are you okay!"
"You're hurt!" Reimi stood up. "What...happened to you?"
Bacchus said to me, "I see you have faced a rough battle, Mr. Crowe."
I sighed. "So many Eldarians...died...right before my eyes...it was all...all because of my pathetic performance."
I failed...yet again...
"...Don't beat yourself up," Myuria consoled me. "You've done more than anyone could've asked. Everyone knows it. Even I know how much you've done, so...So really, take it easy. You don't have to blame yourself."
Simply hearing those words from her made me feel at ease. "Thank you...Myuria."
Edge said, "In any case, I'm glad you're here, Crowe. I'm really glad we get to work together again. We're in a tight squeeze here, so if you could help us out..."
Edge... "Of course," I reassured him. "That's why I'm here."
"Excellent," Edge said, already starting to have hope. "With you and Faize here, we..."
"Faize...that's right, Faize!"
It was Lymle Lemuri Phi, a Lemurisian and one of Edge's comrades. Faize told me all about her. She walked up to the front, and said to me, "His chair belongs to Mattie now. There's nothing left but the floor, 'kay? Of course, I guess I could let him have half of my seat if I have to..."
The poor girl...so innocent...why do I have to be breaking the bad news to her, of all people?
"I'm sorry..." I bowed my head in regret. "I am so...sorry..."
I heard her gasp silently, and already I could feel the pain.
"Crowe..." Edge said. "What are you apologizing for?"
"I...couldn't stop him. He left my ship saying he had to save his brethren...There was nothing I could do...nothing at all."
I'm so pathetic...
"What...what happened to him?"
"He watched the Eldarian ships getting shot down by the Phantoms, one after another...and then he got on his Sol and took off by himself." I paused, trying to hold back my remorse. "He's probably..."
And then it happened. Edge and his crew were struck by grief. It was just heartbreaking to hear.
Edge then told me about his situation, and said, "So that's how it is, Crowe...cover us, will you?"
I said to him, "Rushing into danger without much thought...that's just like you, Edge. But this isn't really the time or the place for that, is it?"
"But there's no other way!"
"I have a plan. Come on, do you think I'd have ended up in this shape otherwise?"
"A plan...You have some way of getting rid of that thing?"
"Yeah," I replied, "I do...so you just sit there and leave this to me."
...
"Crowe! What are you thinking? !"
"Listen, Edge. You and I both know there's no way we'll get through that thing fair and square. So we're gonna have to cheat a little."
I looked at Edge. This is probably...the last time I'm gonna see you, Edge...
"The last, and most important job this bucket of bolts will ever have... I'm gonna use the Aquila as an anchor - fire up the engines and reverse the graviton flow. It'll rip a black hole right in the middle of that thing. Poor bastard won't know what hit it...it'll get sucked right into itself."
I could tell Edge didn't approve of that idea. "You...idiot! If you do that-"
"Idiot?" I retorted. "Whatever happened to respect for your elders, huh?" I chuckled to myself, trying to hold back the tears I wanted to shed. No matter what, I didn't want Edge to see me in a more pathetic state than what I was in...
"This is no time for stupid jokes, Crowe. Wait there! We'll catch up to you!"
I immediately shouted to Edge, "Don't!"
I'm so sorry, Edge...but this is the only way I can set things right again...
"If you're my friend, be quiet and see me off."
"Crowe...!"
"I have a debt to repay...to the people who came with me because they believed in me. So let me go...please. Best friends, huh?"
I could tell Edge didn't want this as much as I didn't want it. "Fine. Just...do whatever you want...!"
I ended the transmission. "Thank you, Edge."
This was it. There was no turning back now. I set the Aquila on autopilot, toward Nox Obscurus. As the light shone brightly through the windows and the sparks rained all around me, I said to myself, "I'm leaving the universe to you...I know you won't let me down..."
I looked around and saw the crew seats, empty. "Hwang...Ohta...Joe...Eddie...Hiro...Faize...Everyone..."
I reached for the throttle, and said, "See ya...on the other side...of the star ocean..." and then I thrust the switch.
As the Aquila rushed toward Nox Obscurus at breakneck speed, I saw my life flashing before my eyes...and then... I remembered something...a promise I made...
It was at the Departure Ceremony. I remember I saw Reimi sitting down in the audience, looking upset.
"Reimi?"
"Edge, do you have any - -" And then she saw it was me. "...Crowe?"
"What's wrong, Reimi?" I asked her.
"That stupid Edge...knowing him, he's probably in the Battle Simulator, skipping this ceremony! Doesn't he see how important this is?"
"Well, you know Edge. And...I guess I know him a little too well..."
"What do you mean, Crowe?"
"Knowing him, he's probably a bit...jealous of my achievements. He probably thinks I'm gloating or something. But really, what is the rank of captain other than just a title?"
"I...see what you mean, Crowe. And...I always liked that about you."
I smiled. "Thanks, Reimi."
"Hey...Crowe?"
"Yeah?"
"Once this is over, I would really like us to look at the stars together...you, Edge, and myself."
"Reimi ? !"
"It's been so long since all three of us could be together...and what better time than after our mission is accomplished?"
"Reimi..."
"Promise, Crowe?"
"...Promise."
I'm such a hypocrite, I thought. I couldn't even keep that promise... Edge...Reimi...what I wouldn't give...to see you two one last time...
Time seemed to slow down around me, as tears began to stream down my face.
All of a sudden, I heard a young boy's voice say to me, "Crowe..."
"Who's there? ! How do you know my name? !"
"Don't cry," the voice said.
"Huh?"
"You can't die yet...there are still so many things you have to do...you have a greater purpose than you can possibly imagine."
I felt myself enveloped by a great light, and I lost consciousness.
Yes...in spite of all my shortcomings, I believe it is not too late for me to make amends.
My name is Crowe F. Almedio.
This is my story.
A/N: -sniff- Oh Crowe, ILU so. -heart- Feel free to R&R. Constructive criticism is welcome. And I probably won't post the next chapter until after my final Calc II exam which is -ugh- cumulative...