Alright, guys. Here I go. This is a Saiyuki story with a male on male romance: Goku x Gojyo. If you do not like yaoi, shonen-ai, or hantai in any form, you should hit the back button located at the top left of your screen. I'll give you a moment...done? Only yaoi and shonen-ai fans left? Good. Now, just as security, I do not own Saiyuki but I do own this story and everything thing that happens in it. As mentioned in the summery, this story will contain a lemon later and has fowl language (I did not make up any unspeakable swear words so there is noting worse than any thing you've ever heard before...unless you've been under a rock you whole life; then we have a problem...no, only you do). So, this will be a bit angst as thins start to heat up, there will be verbal arguments, maybe a one or two punches thrown, I don't kow yet, there will be misunderstandings and there will be love. Oh, yes. There will be love. So, that is my comment for the day...or few days...or week...depening on when I can update next wich really shouldn't be any longer than a week. Not even. Hopefully. Anyway, bye-bye for now!! See you next chapter!!! And thanks for reading!!!!!!!!!!

Pleasure-Filled Sorrow

Goku walked into the room as Hakkai and Sanzo looked up, his head hung low and his usual smile upside-down in an uncharacteristic frown. His steps were soundless as he made his way across the threshold.

Hakkai smiled to his younger brother. "You're back. How was the walk?"

Goku didn't respond past an audible sigh.

"Are you hungry? I could fix you something to eat. What would you like?"

Goku sat on his bed and proceeded to remove his cape and fighting gear.

Hakkai watched their sullen brother finish removing his garments before tucking himself under the covers, his back facing the both of them.

Hakkai shared a glace with Sanzo. "Is everything alright? The ki user asked.

"I'm fine," Goku whispered as he didn't move an inch.

Sanzo's eyes narrowed. "Where is Gojyo?"

Goku's body stiffened at the mention of the other man's name. Hakkai closed his eyes in pain for the boy as Sanzo's hands clenched into tight fists.

"I don't know," the monkey hissed from his position. "He can rot in hell for all I care."

The two men shared another glance, this time knowing full well the reason behind the young one's bitterness. They were going to have a nice little talk to the damn kappa when he got back if this kept up and it wasn't going to be pretty if Sanzo had anything to say about it.

Gojyo lie on the foreign bed, the sheets randomly thrown over his body covering little. He stared hard at the ceiling above him as a lone cigarette dangled from his lips. In the other room, the shower was running as the attractive red head Gojyo had 'escorted' that night was washing herself.

"Damn," he sighed as he roughly rubbed his eyes. "What the hell? Since when can I not be satisfied?"

Yes, Gojyo had slept with the young woman mentioned earlier. It wasn't anything unusual. He oft went out and found someone willing to give him a one night stand. However, recently, he hadn't been able to reach the satisfaction he craved. Sure he moaned as pleasure overtook his body and his member throbbed as he came into the women's bodies but it was always…empty. His body—no, his soul—demanded more. Well, maybe not more, just something else. Or someone else.

Throwing his arm over his eyes he couldn't stop the image of his specific someone that never left his mind no matter how many others he tried to lose himself in. Every time he slept with the prostitutes he found on the streets or in the bars, he couldn't help but picture that it was his someone he was making love to. It had become the only way he could find the release he had been yearning for for several days. As much as he had tried to deny it in days gone past, he came to realize that he, Sha Gojyo, the ultimate womanizer, had fallen fast and hard for the most unlikely person.

"Well there goes my reputation."

The next morning, Goku, Hakkai, and Sanzo were dressed, packed and waiting Gojyo's return.

"What's taking him so long? I swear, if he makes us wait until noon again, I'll blow his brains out," Sanzo said in irritation.

Hakkai saw Goku's face drop just a little as he thought of what could be keeping the taboo. He tried to get his mind off of that subject as he asked, "Goku, why don't you go downstairs and check out for us. We'll be down in a bit after we do a final check of the room."

The boy nodded as he left the room. And Hakkai sighed. "You know we're going to have to do something about this."

"Hn."

Hakkai turned to the monk. "Sanzo, we can't leave it like this. You see how it's tearing Goku apart inside. I hate to see him like that. It doesn't suit him."

"Do what you like. I don't want any part in it."

"Like you weren't affected at all last night when he came in looking so pathetic and forlorn."

Sanzo knew there was no getting out of this but he wasn't going to let Hakkai know he knew that. In truth, he had grown quite fond of the stupid monkey and, in all honesty, he had felt a certain rage the previous night seeing his protégé in such pain over that bastard kappa. He wasn't worth it. Goku deserved so much more than that fucking ass-hole pervert could ever offer him. But Goku wanted it and, as much as he wanted to, he couldn't change the way Goku felt.

"Whatever. Just don't make it entirely my problem. If the monkey wants to suffer by liking that piece of shit, that's his prerogative. It's none of my damn business anyway."

Hakkai smiled as he heard the hiss in the monk's voice as he mentioned Gojyo and the slightly softer tone he took as he spoke of Goku. It was almost sweet if one took out the profanity, the murderous glare, and the violent flicking of his cigarette as the ashes fell.

Gojyo walked down the street back to the hotel where the others were staying and sighed deeply. He knew that going back up would mean seeing that brat monkey…his specific someone who keeps invading his thoughts. He scratched his head as he came upon the front door and walked in. To see Goku up at the front desk paying the man in uniform.

He couldn't help but stare at the beautiful form in his usual gold cape, complicated battle gear, and the tight fitting jeans that made him jealous. He wanted to be pressing tight against his tightly formed ass and his loins…

He shook his head trying to get the thoughts out of his mind before he became…unpresentable.

Clearing his throat and putting on his usual rakish smile, he walked up to the boy.

Goku gave the man behind the counter the gold card. Just as he was given it back and was just about to walk back up stairs, he felt a weight on his shoulder.

"Hey there, short stack. What's going on?"

Goku froze at the voice. A voice he always heard in the back of his mind. He turned to see Gojyo leaning his arm on his shoulder and looking as dashing as ever. Not wanting him to know of how he felt or what he thinks of his nocturnal ways, he put on his usual act of complete innocence and temperamentalness.

"I'm not short, cockroach. It's about time you showed up. Sanzo's going to bite your head off once he sees you. He's wanted to go for three hours now."

"Ah, he's just jealous. He probably hasn't gotten laid in years."

Goku felt a jolt in his chest as he paused for a millisecond on his way up the stairs. He hoped it wasn't enough for Gojyo to notice. If he did, he didn't say as such.

"So how was your night?"Gojyo asked.

Miserable. "Fine. Kind of uneventful."

"Well with those two party crashers, I can see why."

As they walked into the room, Sanzo shot Gojyo a glare. "Where the hell have you been, jackass!"

Gojyo smirked. "I was rocken' a beautiful lady's world," he said as he skillfully raked a hand through his hair.

Goku turned to look at the other wall, trying to hide his eyes.

Hakkai saw this and decided to say something. "Well, now that we're all here, I suppose we should be on our way. Hakuryu has been waiting."

"Yeah, yeah I know. Alright, fellas! Let's get on the road," Gojyo said.

He left followed by a grumbling Sanzo. Hakkai was right behind them before he realized Goku hadn't moved an inch.

"Goku?"

The called boy jumped and turned. "Oh, sorry. I guess I spaced."

Hakkai walked over and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Goku, you know that if you ever need to talk, I'm always willing to listen."

Goku looked up at the man he now considered his brother. "What are you talking about? I'm fine."

Hakkai wanted to say more, mention the tension from last night and how he guessed the boy felt toward Gojyo but he thought the better of it. He knew that when he needed it, Goku would come to him for guidance or just a shoulder to lean on. He always did in the past.

"Alright then. Just keep it in mind."

"Uh, okay. Thanks."

And with that, they were on their way.