Introduction:
Takaya and Akatsuki: How did that happen?
***This takes place a few months before Naruto becomes a Genin to a point during the time-skip. Warning: Lots of swearing and hints at lemon, so you can stop reading after the point where you see: Unofficial End if you don't like that kind of thing, but the last bit will be continued in 'Chapter Fourteen: A Desert Rose and Family'.***
A lightening streak crossed the sky, and Sasori sighed. The brat they'd picked up was complaining about everything and everything the bad weather offered.
"This weather is damn awful, but the lighting is a form of my art; instantaneous un." Deidara, though fourteen, was the 'criminal child' taken into Akatsuki.
And Sasori had the honor of making this brat his partner, whom he disagreed with from the moment they met. "Art is eternal brat."
"Danna." The kid frowned, as did the man hidden inside the puppet. "You've got it all wrong. You see, art is something you should experience in an instant yeah!"
"I don't want to spend the next day's journey to HQ listening to you two argue." Kisame said, and since he was ahead of them, they saw that he was reaching for his large and bandaged sword. "So make yourself useful Newbie, and pitch a tent."
"Why are we stopping un?" The teen asked.
"Itachi-san is informing Leader that we have you." The shark-man said, getting a wince out of the blond bomber, and revealing his pointed teeth in a grin. "Still hurts being beat by him huh?"
"Shut up yeah, I'll pitch a damn tent." He grumbled, making a few hand seals and creating a cave out of rock. Climbing in, he made himself comfortable and tried to get some sleep. He'd had a long, wet day and was in a foul mood.
Later, the puppet master clambered inside the cave and saw the teen fast asleep.
"Great, now I have to wake the brat up." He muttered, and used chakra strings to pull him to his feet.
"Danna, what's the big idea!" He yelled, abruptly awake.
"You've got your first assignment from Leader." He dropped the teen.
"What does he want?" He brushed himself off and got to his feet, strapping on his belt.
Internally, the puppet master sighed and wished lightning would strike the kid once he got outside. "You have to apprehend a person that could become an enemy or ally. Leader says she's strong, but is in bad condition and shouldn't be too much trouble."
Surprisingly, a grin split the kid's face. "Sasori danna, I'm going to prove to you that my art is the true art form by defeating her."
"Whatever brat."
Deidara gleefully put on his new cloak and walked out into the rain, following the direction Sasori'd pointed him in, slipping in the mud occasionally and cursing 'old rags' and 'blue freak' and 'Genjutsu-sucker'.
Leaning against a tree, he looked around, and froze when he saw the woman. She was older than him, soaking wet, and covered in mud. In the places that were mud-free, he could see she had waist-length and medium-brown hair, and was wearing a black kimono of some sort.
Another fact; she carried a whip that had several tails, and a sword was strapped to her back. It had a bright red casing and looked roughly four and a half feet long.
She seemed to be sulking in a puddle. "Why me? I'm lost… and hungry…and tired…"
'Here's my chance…' He reached towards his pouch, to flick his hand away when a shuriken brushed past his knuckles and imbedded itself in the tree trunk next to his him.
"Who are you and what do you want?" She demanded in a voice very different than the one he'd heard her use previously. "No one attacks a Shinigami unless they're incredibly stupid or a Hollow."
He changed positions and shook his head in confusion. 'What is she talking about?"
A set of shuriken flew at him, forcing him to dodge again.
"Damn un.." He pulled out a kunai. 'I'm no good in close-range, and she seems to be a master of it.'
"Come out come out wherever you are…" She pulled out her whip, and out of the corner of his eye he noticed that there was seven extensions on the whip. "Baipar* and I haven't had a good fight in a long time, and I'm not in the mood to play hide-and-seek."
'What in the hell is wrong with this chick? Her voice is sometimes sickly sweet, then at others it makes me want to run as fast as I can.' He shook his head and used his free hand to make a clay bird, running in and out of her range.
Dodging a last coil, he threw the bomb at the woman. "Katsu!"
Before it exploded, he was hit by one of the coils around the middle, and the bomb was cut in half by another.
"Damn, he's in some deep shit." Kisame remarked with a smile. "Shouldn't you help him Sasori? He's your new partner after all."
"Give him another few tries. If it looks like he's going to die-" The fourth attempt to bomb her failed, and he sighed. "Kisame, since you're specialized in close-combat and she's using a weapon closer to your class, you go first. I'll take your blind side."
The shark-nin nodded and pulled out his sword, running into the clearing. "Hey beautiful, want to share some of your chakra with Samehada?"
She turned, alarmed at the second attacker's size and appearance, swapping the hand her whip was being controlled by and pulling out her sword on him. Their swords clashed, and Kisame was surprised at the power his own sword was getting from hers.
'What is this bitch?' He wondered, and smiled at her. "You're skilled beautiful-"
"I have a name Fishface." She said, and he laughed. "Are you an ally of the blonde, gender-confused one?"
He snorted. "Hardly, just business partners."
Her eyes widened. "What would you want with me?"
Confused by her sudden change of tone, he took a swipe at her and missed when she preformed a back flip. "Our Leader think's you'll be useful. Now what's that name gorgeous?"
Her eyes changed from brown and soft to narrow and purple in seconds. "Takaya. I am of the Shinigami, and was visiting Tokyo on business when I landed here. Who is your 'Leader'?"
'What in the hell is a 'Shinigami', and what is up with her?' He saw Deidara get whipped by the girl, and she began to use her other weapon against Sasori, who easily made nicks in the material with his 'tail'. "You'll be meeting him when we take you in."
"I'm not going anywhere with you, especially not involuntarily."
"I like you already." Kisame said, astonished at her strength. It wasn't chakra, it was more… spiritual. 'She does call herself a 'death god' after all…' "What's with the sword?"
"Ameratsu-gaki* is my sword, her spirit protects me." She changed tactics, using shuriken against Sasori and getting them lodged in his hidden hinges and axles, incapacitating him.
"So your sword is alive too? That's rich." He laughed. "And it's got the same name as my partner's attack…"
She glared, dodging and cutting at him in close-range, an advantage her sword's length gave her. "I don't know why your 'Leader' is so interested in me, but you can bet that all your fucking weapons that I'm not believing a word you say."
"Eh… Life's a lie anyway, so I don't expect you to."
The pair went on for a couple more minutes as Sasori tried to free himself from the now useless shell he was in, and the woman finally made a close enough shave to count as a hit.
Kisame's eye widened in surprise when his body went immobile, even Samehada was frozen.
"Gotcha." She panted, and used a large shuriken set to impale his cloak in several places, leaving him stuck to a large oak. "Damn, your spiritual energy is off the charts… I'm getting back to normal just from that little scratch."
Understandably confused, Kisame watched as she tied Deidara and himself up to the trees, and used a few more large shuriken to attach Sasori firmly to the ground.
'Where in the hell is Itachi?' Kisame and the others wondered.
"Now…" The woman took a seat on a fallen tree trunk and crossed her legs. "What exactly does your 'Leader' want from me?"
Itachi landed in front of Kisame, and heard the shark-nin grumbling about somebody arriving late to the party. "Takaya, I am Itachi Uchiha, the man behind me is Kisame, the blonde is Deidara, and the puppet master is Sasori. If you come with us quietly, we'll answer your questions. 'Akatsuki' is our organization, and I think you can help us attain world peace, which is our goal."
"Hm… I like your names and cause…" She rubbed her chin. "If I join you, do I have to wear those God-awful cloaks?"
Not revealing his amusement, he shrugged. "For the time being, no. Does this mean you accept our offer?"
She could sense that under his emotionless and cold demeanor, he had a lot to hide. "Sure. I guess this means I have to let them go now."
"It would appear so…"
Together, they plucked the shuriken out of their companion's cloaks, and she put most of her weapons in a bag she carried on her person, leaving her katana in the belt of her outfit. Since Deidara was still unconscious, Sasori had the job of carrying him.
Walking through Amegakure's city streets, the men noted that Takaya was young, strong, fairly attractive, and batshit crazy. Or had multiple personalities like Zetzu. Taking a turn into an alley, they prepared to go through the secret entrance to Akatsuki's main headquarters in Ame, when she stopped at the wall.
"Um… how in the hell am I supposed to get up there?" She demanded, pointing to the disguised door several stories above their heads.
"Do you have chakra control?" Kisame asked, thinking she had something similar to the Byakugan's ability to find and shut down the chakra points in the body from her earlier attack.
To his surprise, she frowned. "I don't think so… but I can move really fast if need be."
"Follow me then." Itachi said, jumping up and back and for the between the two walls of the alley and landing on the landing before the doorway, adjusting the method of travel to fit her, and she tailed him in a similar fashion.
"What about Sasori and the kid?"
Kisame landed beside her and smirked. "They'll get in their own way beautiful. Now, lets get you on the inside."
Lifting up a hand, the two men's rings glowed slightly, and the door opened in response. Walking through the pipe before them, they were greeted by two small figures guarding the door.
"Itachi-san, Kisame-san." The one on the right said, a boy about the age of twelve with a shock of orange hair said, his forehead donned with bandages and he was clothed in a thin cloak. "Leader has been waiting for you. Is this the ally?"
"Himitsu, when have we screwed up a job or brought a whore into HQ?" Kisame said, making the other figure, an eleven year old girl that had her hood up to hide her face, flinch.
The answer satisfied the boy, and he nodded. "Follow me."
Walking into a large room that was furnished by several large sofas, an overstuffed bookshelf, and one of the largest fireplaces Takaya'd ever seen, they were greeted by the sight of some of the strangest-looking people in the world.
One man seemed to be covered in stitches, another seemed to be a Venus flytrap crossbred with a human, and a woman with blue hair occupied their own chairs. Deidara and Sasori walked into the room from another hallway and shared a couch, even if they didn't look happy about it. Without mutual loathing, Kisame and Itachi took up their own couch as well, leaving the two 'kids' at Takaya's sides.
"Leader will be here in a moment, the children will join you in a seat." The woman with blue hair said, and Takaya took up the offer. "I am Konan."
"We are Zetzu bitch." The plant-man said, seeming to have two different people speaking out of one body. The man began to argue with himself when he was done introducing himself.
"I am Kakuzu." Stitches said, and Takaya gave him a broad grin.
"And you have met the others." Konan said. "The children are Himitsu." The boy nodded. "And Tsuki."
The girl blushed, and she continued. "They usually aren't apart of the main action here, so you shall only see them during training."
Another door into the chamber opened, and an impressive man with bright orange hair and several piercing walked into the room, his ringed eyes his most interesting feature.
"I am Pein, but you shall call me Leader, Takaya Shinigami." Pein said, and the others quieted. "You have agreed to join us with conditions, am I correct?"
"Yes Leader." Takaya said, started by how much this 'Pein' knew about her. "Are those conditions acceptable, or am I going to die again, and somewhere I've never heard of?"
The Akatsuki members were surprised at how she answered, and her changes of tone interested them.
"They are acceptable." Pein said, then turned to Sasori and Deidara. "Takaya Shinigami shall stay in your quarters until a room is made for her. Meeting adjourned."
"Yes Leader." Sasori answered, despite the protests the teen made. "Now don't keep me waiting Takaya."
"Of course not." Takaya followed them down a hallway that had signed on the door stating who's room which door belonged to. The three stopped in front of the room with a sign stating 'Sasori Akasuna'.
"Since you're new, you're going to both make signs for yourselves and…" He paused, something occurring to him when he opened the door to his room.
There was only two dressers, beds, and lamps. Akatsuki worked in pairs; a third person in their room wasn't going to work out well. Especially with two other men.
To their surprise, Takaya snorted. "Since you're wider than a refrigerator Sasori, I'll share with Deidara-sempai."
Walking over to the free bed, she began to wring out her sleeves. "Um… could you get Konan-san or Tsuki…"
"Why un?" Deidara mentioned, smug she was calling him 'sempai'.
"Because I need a pair of dry clothes and these are covered in mud and shit." She said, and he shivered.
"Konan and Tsuki wouldn't have anything in your size Takaya." Sasori said.
Looking at the two with raised eyebrows, she smirked. "Deidara-sempai, give me your spare clothes."
Slightly intimidated by her tone, he pulled out his clothes out of his pack and handed her the teal shirt and pants. "Take them un… just be quick about it"
She walked behind a changing screen and threw her outfit onto Sasori's back. With a sigh, he left the room and went to get Tsuki. The girl would clean the clothes and return them in due time, but he didn't want to be there in case his charge decided to attack the brat.
"Thank you for letting me borrow your extra clothes Deidara-sempai." Takaya said.
Deidara sighed, reclining on their bed. "No problem hn."
The sound of rustling cloth could be heard from his resting place. After a few moments, he got annoyed.
"Are you ready yet un?"
"Keep your cloak on, I'm coming out…"
"Finally hn!"
"WHAT DID YOU SAY?"
He shivered. "Nothing un…"
"Good."
When she walked out, she was playing with her hair and blushing, the cut of the shirt revealing quite a bit of her decent amount of cleavage, and the teenage boy began to steadily nosebleed.
"So… do I look alright Deidara Sempai? Your clothes are a little tight…"
'Oh God… I'm going to be living with that?'
***SEE BELOW FOR COMIC***
A few months later, Kisame and Itachi were skirting the Konoha border, and Takaya sensed something that interested her. It was snowing, a sign of spiritual activity in the area.
"Can I go looking around? I have the kunai pouch and know the hand signs I need to use to alert you if there's trouble." Takaya said, and the shark-nin smiled at her with a nod.
"I don't think it'll hurt… if you're not at the inn here by nightfall, we'll come after you."
"Got it Fishface." She streaked off into the woods, looking for a spirit of some sort.
What she came across was a great river, and saw the spirit of a teenage boy with long dark hair crying on the bank. She kneeled beside him and smiled.
"What is your name Spirit?" She asked.
He turned to her, surprised. "Haku Yuki… how is it that you can see me? Am I in the afterlife? Where is Zabuza-san?"
Her lower lip changed from a smile to a pout. "I'm sorry to tell you this, but you are not in the spirit world yet. Your companion most likely arrived there before you did. I am a Shinigami, and though I am far from home, it is my duty to help spirits like you Haku."
The teen wiped his eyes. "A Shinigami, a death god? What will you do with me?"
"My name is Takaya." She smiled and pulled out a jar. "And I will give you a chance to live again and protect me if you agree."
Curious, he mumbled to himself, and nodded. "I will owe you my existence, of course I shall serve you Takaya-san."
"Now, let's not take it that far." She closed his spirit into the jar and put it into her pack. "Now… to find someone that won't be missed…"
"What took ya so long?" Kisame asked, watching as the young woman walked into the room they'd rented for the night. "I was about to go after you."
Takaya gave him a dirty look. "It's none of your business Fishface. Can I just get some rest? I've had a long day."
"Sure."
It was agreed that Kisame and Itachi would take watches while she took the other bed, and early the next morning, they headed in the direction of Kumogakure to seek out the Two-Tailed Demon Cat, Nibi, and learn her general abilities. Only the woman knew that they had a silent and virtually immortal teenager tailing them, and the others would not be able to detect the undead.
Sometime mid-summer, they were skirting Konoha's distant borders again. Even though she knew the dangers of her teammates being in the area, she only came off as a civilian, and could sense three wandering spirits nearby.
"Deidara Sempai, Sasori…" She said, and the elder (who wasn't hiding in his puppet shell because they were so far away from anything) sighed.
"You can go." He said, and the pair watched her as she ran off.
"Danna…" Deidara said, watching her. "What do you think she does… when she leaves?"
"I don't really care brat." Sasori responded flatly, lying through his teeth. "Let's just hope she finds us before we have to get back to Leader."
In the part of the woods Takaya was trailing, she encountered the three spirits at the same time, and her smile was terrifying.
"You are all dead, and I alone have the power to return life to you." She said, and the 'leader' of the three gave her a bemused look.
"What do you want in return?" Dosu asked, and she knew she had them.
Summer was almost over, and Takaya was with Kisame and Itachi again. This time, they were returning back to HQ to tell Leader of the Kyuubi Brat's abilities, and had been held off for a few weeks.
They were passing through the woods on the edge of Konoha when she sensed a spirit in the wind, and wasn't surprised when Kisame found the body of a young girl buried under several destroyed trees.
"Damn shame… but she was one of Orochimaru's, so we can't pity her too much." The Shark-nin commented.
"Can I bury her?" She asked quietly, remembering all she'd been told about Orochimaru. "You know my sensitivity to theses things…"
"Of course." Itachi of all people said, and they left her.
"Okay bitch. Who decided to kill you?"
"Temari of the fucking Sand Village." The spirit of the girl appeared, looking roughed-up. "At least, that's what that asshole of a pineapple-head Shikamaru said her name was."
The older girl smirked. "Do you want to live again? It won't be easy, and you'll have to work for me… but…"
"Bitch, I think we may just get along."The spirit sat down, something she was only able to do because of her recent death. "Hell, I want to fucking live again so I can see the look on that Sand-witches' face when I take her down."
Raising an eyebrow, she shrugged. "That a yes or no, and what's your name? I really am on a tight schedule here…"
"Tayuya, and yeah, I guess so-" She was sucked into the jar that had contained so many ex-spirits, and silenced for the time being.
A few hours later, and Takaya realized she was slowly building herself an unwilling army outside Akatsuki. "Oh hell… Where do you hide five teenagers?"
It was winter in Amegakure, and Takaya was enjoying the house Deidara had made for her out of rock when he'd finally ran out of reasons to keep them roommates. The child's crush/fear amused her, but she wasn't in the mood for him yet. He was still a little young for her tastes yet.
All of her 'children' were still sleeping, and she planned on heading to HQ soon. There was a meeting to introduce the newest member, who would be Kakuzu's partner, and she was curious about the guy herself. Well, she was truly curious about his attitude and if he'd be any 'fun', but that didn't need to be spread around.
The last good lay she'd had was with her lieutenant, and the man had tried to kill her by sending her to this place. She'd given subtle messages to Leader and Itachi, but the two men informed her privately that there was no interest, with the latter saying it like he had a secret lover of his own.
"Might as well get moving…" She decided, and went out the door.
Entering the HQ was much easier now than it had been almost a year ago, but she still used the same methods as she had then. Once inside, she heard loud swearing.
"Fuck you Kakuzu, seriously." A young man's voice called out.
'Hm… young and handsome, yet a fighter.' Takaya decided quickly.
"Hey," The teen turned to her with a confused expression, the light glancing off the rosary hanging from a chain and revealing his worked and unclothed abs. "Who's the other bitch? She your whore Kakuzu, I didn't think you'd pay for something that fugly-"
'… and quite the crude masochist.' She decided, loosing her temper and pulling out her sword. "Bastard, don't ask for it."
He smirked. "Nice blade, but mine's better-"
She glanced it across his side, making him immobile from the temporary separation of the soul and body. "Kindly can it or I'll cut that dick of yours off."
"I'd just be required to sew it back on… and an injury would just encourage him into a state of bliss." Kakuzu said.
She frowned. "He gets off on pain?"
"Yeah bitch, want to go a few rounds?"
Slightly turned on, she smiled. "Maybe another time… if I let you live…"
"You can't kill me, Jashin gave me the gift of immortality. Stick me through with that pretty blade of yours- nothings' happen-"
Grabbing a tanto from the table, she did just that, testing him. After realizing he was telling the truth, she noticed Leader, Konan, and the kids walk into the room. Tsuki seemed to turn paler than she already was at the sight of the blood.
"I see you've given Hidan a warm welcome." Pein said flatly.
*** Unofficial End ***
***I have only watched one or two episodes of Bleach EVER, so I most likely have some facts about Shinigami wrong. Plus, Takaya's not a normal Shinigami anyway.***
Authors Notes:
* Baipar- the Japanese translation for 'viper'. It's the name of her whip, and what a viper that thing is.
* Ameratsu-gaki: Though the sword's true name is Ameratsu, Takaya enjoys irritating her and uses the addition (gaki= brat) to slightly activate her powers.
***Comic: http : / ofthenewmoon . Deviantart . Com / gallery / / d3fdf4r ***
Late that night, a cloaked figure knocked on Hidan's door. Over mutual agreement, it had been decide that if and only if it was necessary, the partners would share a room, so he had his own.
When he opened the door, he saw the intruder unclasp her cloak and reveal she was wearing nothing underneath. "Up for a little s and m?"
He didn't have time to answer before he was chained to the bed and being cut with a knife, the woman above him delivering cuts to herself as well during their acts of pain and pleasure…
After they were spent, he laughed. "You handle me rough bitch… I like that… I'm going to have to sacrifice a lot of virgins to pay Jashin back for this since I can't kill you…"
"Pleasure." Takaya smirked and put on her cloak, ready to find the kitchen. She was starving.
A few months later, Takaya sat next to Kakuzu on his couch, getting in his personal space as he read.
"What the hell do you want cunt?" Kakuzu said, eyes on his book.
Leaning her lips next to his ear, she whispered. "Bet you 5 ryo you'll sleep with me…"
He held out his hand. "You loose."
With a smirk, she shrugged. "I've got no money…"
"Damnit…"
An hour later, she was pulling at the stitches that held him together. "So does this mean I win?"
He frowned. "Do you want to fuck me again so that I don't have to pay you?"
"… yeah. That would be nice…"
Shortly after her second 'anniversary' of being in Akatsuki, and Kisame was Taijutsu sparring with Takaya when she knocked him on the ground and straddled him, making the shark-nin have a double-take.
"Take me here and now Fishface… I'm not an easily satisfied woman…" She said, smiling. "And… I like it rough…"
"Aren't you a little young beautiful?" He said, not caring anyway. At least Kakuzu wouldn't get on his case for borrowing a whore for… services.
"I'm…" She whispered her age in his ear, and though he was astonished, he began to ravage the woman.
It was now nearing the end of her second year in Akatsuki, and Takaya was starting to feel unsatisfied again. Her usual bed partners were far away, seeing as she was with Sasori and Deidara on a mission to kill and turn in the head of a missing-nin with a large bounty on mentioned head. The bounty had been an easy kill according to Sasori and Deidara, but she was using basic medical skills to patch up a burn mark on the latter's shoulder.
"You idiot, how did you manage to get injured by your own weapon of choice?" She said, glaring at the pouting teen. "Don't' give me that look-"
"You know, if a lack of sex makes a woman this grumpy, I never want a permanent girlfriend yeah." Deidara said, and winced when she slapped the bandaged burn. "So…"
She noticed his blush and change of tone. "What is it?"
"I could…" He looked down, angry. "I've wondered if sex could compare to my Art yeah.."
She smiled a little an beckoned him with her finger. "Want to test that now?"
Eagerly, he crawled across the covers of the bed and allowed her onto his lap, insinuating that though he was young, he had a decent enough background knowledge of what they were doing.
A few hours later, Takaya woke up starving, and pulled on Deidara's normal shirt before going into the main room of the suite. Sasori (inside his puppet) was having a conversation with Himitsu and Tsuki, and was ignoring her 'walk of shame' into the room that caused Tsuki to blush.
"Anything for breakfast?" Takaya asked, and frowned when the boy gave her a look that screamed the negative. "So, what are the kids doing here anyway? I thought Leader liked to keep them close."