I thought of this story when I read a Night at the Museum/Five Nights at Freddy's crossover, and I thought: "I would love to read this if it didn't give me nightmares." So, here it is, a zombie au story for people who get scared easily by the undead.

Once again, I do not own NATM or anything associated with it.

When Larry Daley went to the unemployment agency in search of a job, the last offer he expected to get was that of night guard for the Pharaoh's Tomb Cemetery. The cemetery was a creepy-looking place, with twisted, barren trees just visible above a high, vine-covered stone wall topped with metal spikes surrounding the grounds. Larry had never seen anyone enter or exit the place, and he had never seen any funerals there, despite the fact that he had several jobs in the past that required him to drive past that location. It was kind of like a creepy version of Willy Wonka's factory, and it gave him the willies. He had no desire to stay there overnight, or even during the day.

Unfortunately, Larry was desperate and had no other options when it came to job interviews, so he would have to swallow his fear if he wanted to pay his rent. That is, if he managed to get the job at all. The unemployment lady had told him that several people had applied for the job already, but had all been turned down.

For a few minutes, Larry just sat in his car outside the huge wooden gates that blocked his path into the cemetery. Weren't cemeteries supposed to have wrought-iron gates that let you see inside? What kind of cemetery didn't want you to see inside? Did they have cult practices in there or something?

"Okay, Larry, you're stalling." Larry muttered to himself. "Remember why you're here. Just open the gates and drive on in."

The wooden gates gave a low groaning sound as Larry pulled them open, as if they weren't meant to open and they were complaining about Larry making them do something outside of their job description. Larry couldn't help but notice that they were each so thick that a hoard of Vikings probably wouldn't have been able to get through it with a battering ram. Once again, he wondered what kind of cemetery he was applying to guard, and whether he should turn around and go back home before he got in too deep.

Larry was just about to lose his nerve, when he heard someone call out a greeting. He turned to see an older man in a guard uniform approaching him from among the tombstones. He was a good-looking man for someone of his age, and still had his full head of hair, white though it may be. He also had a friendly face, which was a relief to Larry. If it had been some weirdo hunchback named Igor, then he would have turned and bolted.

"Hello." The man greeted him warmly. "I'm Cecil Fredericks, one of the night guards of this establishment. What can I help you with?"

Larry shook his hand, noticing that Cecil had a strong grip for a man his age. "I'm Larry. Larry Daley. I'm here for the interview?"

"Ah, good. Then I'll show you around once you park your car."

Once the car was parked and the gates shut once again, Cecil led Larry on a walk among the tombstones. They were all really old and really strange looking. There was a small monument with Theodore Roosevelt on it; a tombstone that seemed to be made of petrified wood; a marble tombstone decorated with a sheriff's star; a marble bust of what looked like a Roman emperor; and marker that looked less like a tombstone than it did a funeral pyre; just to name a few of them. What was especially strange was that none of them seemed to have names to go with them. Larry was about to ask about this, but was cut off when Cecil began to speak.

"So what made you choose to try out for this job?" The old guard asked. He had Larry's resume in his hand and was looking at it while they walked.

"Well, I wasn't going to at first, to be honest." Larry replied. "It's just that I'm divorced, and my exe won't let me see my son unless I get a job that can support a certain lifestyle. This is the only one that the unemployment agency would point me towards."

Normally Larry would not be this blunt with his interviewer, but in this case he was actually half hoping that he wouldn't get the job. This place wasn't so bad in the sunlight, but he got the feeling that it would be skin-crawlingly creepy once it got dark. He wasn't going to walk out of the interview because he was scared, but that didn't mean he wouldn't be relieved if he didn't get the job.

Cecil just nodded at Larry's response, apparently unperturbed by Larry's unstable personal life. "Okay then." He said, gesturing to a small chapel at the end of the path. "Come on in, and I'll introduce you to my partners."

The two men entered the chapel, which was completely empty of people except for two elderly men each about the same age as Cecil. One was a dark-skinned gentleman with a beard, who was seated comfortably in a small recliner and reading a book. The other was a short, round man with bulldog jowls and almost no hair. He was sleeping on one of the pews and snoring like a chainsaw, although it didn't seem to bother his friend.

"Reginald, Gus." Cecil called out to the two men respectively as he and Larry approached.

Reginald looked up calmly from his book, but Gus awoke with such a start that he fell off the pew and onto the floor in an undignified heap. Larry had to bite his lip to keep from laughing, because if his mother taught him nothing else, it was to be respectful to the elderly.

"Where is he? I'll beat him with my fist!" Gus snarled as he scrambled to his feet. Neither Reginald nor Cecil replied to this, but rolled their eyes in a manner that suggested that sort of comment came out of Gus' mouth a lot.

"Gus, Reginald, this is Larry Daley." Cecil said. "He wants the job of night guard here."

Gus came over and looked Larry up and down. "He looks like a weirdy." He said at last, in that incredibly rude way that only really young and really old people can get away with.

Cecil laughed off the comment. "Wonderful guard, terrible people skills." He said cheerfully. He then turned to Reginald and Gus. "Larry here has the qualifications for the job, and he needs it in order to clear up some problems at home. I say we give him a shot." He told them.

The other two guards exchanged a look. "Then it sounds like you're hired." Reginald said, in the calm manner that he seemed to do everything.

"Um, well, I was hoping to be able to think about it…" Larry said nervously. He still wasn't sure how keen he was on the idea of working here at night.

"Do you want the job or not, Snack Shack?" Gus demanded, while pushing aggressively into Larry's personal space. Considering that the night guard only came up to Larry's chest, it should have been laughable, but it was enough to make Larry back away from him.

"Yes, yes, I want the job." He said reluctantly. There went any chance of him backing out.

"Perfect." Reginald held out his hand for Larry to shake. "Welcome aboard."

Why did Larry suddenly feel like he was about to sell his soul to the devil? Swallowing thickly, he reached out and accepted the handshake.