Title: Three Words Eight Letters
Rating: T
Pairing: Blair/Chuck
Summary: Set in season two when Blair wants Chuck to give her a reason to stay. All she wants to hear are three simple words consisting of eight letters. Why can't the great Chuck Bass seem to say it?
Disclaimer: I do not own anyone or anything from Gossip Girl!
"Three words consisting of eight letters, say it and I am yours." Her chocolate brown eyes bore in to mine as she waited to see if I could give her what she wanted.
I love you. That is all she wanted to hear. Why couldn't I get the words to come out? I did love her even though all summer I had tried to make the feeling go away. I had done everything I could think of to forget Blair Waldorf and nothing seemed to be working. I slept with every woman I could find and then I tried to drink and smoke her away, but she was still there inside of my head and my heart. Sometimes it was a struggle to decide if I wanted her out of my life for good or to have a more permanent place in it.
"I-"I was trying to get the words out. I needed to get them out and stop being a coward. Taking a deep breath and rolling my shoulders I made a choice to say the three little words. My father may think opening up about your emotions was a cowardly thing to do, but I am not nor would I ever be Bart Bass. I could this one thing for Blair since she had done so much for me. "I-"
I could see heartbreak in those eyes of hers, the very eyes which could see through all of my bullshit. Blair was one of the only people I could never get away with lying to. She knew if something was up and always had this way of getting the truth out of me. The only time I had ever lied to her was times where I knew the truth would hurt her. The perfect example would be the whole situation with Nathaniel and Serena. I had kept the truth to myself because I had known how much Blair loved Nate and it would have destroyed her to learn the truth. In the end I had been right not to tell her. Nathaniel had finally told her and left her a broken a mess, a mess I had to take care of.
If I was being honest with myself I never wanted to see her broken like that again. We had been friends since we were kids and I knew her better than anyone. I knew how she tried to play the tough bitch, but how deep inside every little criticism killed her. Blair tried so hard to be what everyone expected of her. She tried to be the perfect girlfriend, the perfect best friend, and the ideal daughter. Blair Waldorf was so busy trying to be what everyone else wanted her to be that she forgot be who she wanted to be.
The only time I had ever seen her be herself was that night in Victrola. She had let down her guard and had fun for the first time without worrying about the consequences. She had been who she really wanted to be with me. Not Nate or any other man, but me. That alone should tell her we were meant to be together. She shouldn't need to hear the words 'I love you' come out of my mouth for her to realize we were destined to be together. She should just know it because if she felt the way I did then it was all she felt every moment of the fucking day.
"Blair, I-" I tried again and closed my eyes briefly when I failed yet again.
I couldn't do it, not when I was unsure of what she would say or do. Blair told me that if I said it she would be mine, but how I could be sure about that? How did I know this wasn't some sort of game she was playing to get me to look like a fool in public? It wouldn't be surprising since all we did was play games with each other. It had always been that way and I doubted it would ever really change even if we started dating like normal couples. Yet we were not normal by any means especially when we were together. We were Blair and Chuck, Chuck and Blair. There was no exact way to define what we were.
I reached out to touch her cheek and she took a step back as the Lord she had been dating finally drove his car up. "Thank you, that is what I needed to hear. Goodbye Chuck."
I couldn't move as I watched the pair drive off together. All I could do was keep staring after them. I felt as if my chest were caving in on itself. I had just lost the best thing that ever happened to me without really ever having had it in the first place. I looked down at my hand realizing for the first time Blair had slipped something in to my hand. I raised my closed fist before opening it and seeing the little gold heart resting in my palm. My head shot up to see them disappear as they turned a corner. Had she actually meant to give me the heart or had it been a mistake?
"Blair Waldorf I love you." I whispered even though nobody was actually around to hear me speak these words. They were coming too late of course, but they were still coming out and that was better than nothing. "I love you so fucking much it consumes me. Every breath I take, every thought I have, everything I do is about you. You may not know this, but you have always had my heart only you never realized it."
Looking down at the little heart again I curled my fingers around it protectively and slid my hand in to my pocket. I had finally been able to say the words out loud and my next move would be saying them to Blair. I could do this if given enough time. Now I knew that for her it was real as well. She would never have given me the little golden heart if she didn't mean it. Now all I had to do was sure her I meant it as well.
THE END!
AN: I know another Blair/Chuck one-shot, but I had to do it. I keep little ones stuck in my head and so I have to write them. I went a little different with this one and put it how I thought it should have gone. Anyways, let me know if you all liked this or not.
Please R&R like always!