The "History" of the "United States" Part 1
By: Matchew (
It seems little amounts of people know about the U.S, especially Americans. I'm here to help. It all goes back to the Middle Ages, where Mark Twain, Woody Allen, and King Arthur ruled. Along this period of time came the Great Britain realm, with all kings named George. In the old days the king was the king, and men were serfs, kind of like non-union workers and capitalists. In this time of "winner take all", lots of people would search for the "Holy Grail" including Sir Lancelot, Sir Isaac Newton, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, and all the other people in Europe, Africa, Asia, and the Netherlands. While they were out "grailing", the kingdoms were as vulnerable as a really vulnerable kingdom, in which kids playing jump rope could conquer Europe. This brought up the idea by philosopher Sir Gary Coleman saying, "What u talk'n bout Arthur." And Arthur went back to "Gargoyles" on Toon Disney. All kidding aside however, we're at the time of King George the III, who, in School House Rock, looked like a big egg with lipstick. With the Pilgrims long gone, and a new fad, free thought came around; people started to shout loud discouraging words at Britain such as, "I disagree!" and "I get a good chuckle out of your knickers." This infuriated the King who said, "This is an outrage!" Followed by, "I've never been so salted (1)!" This caused the king to tax latex, eggs, paper, coffee, Australia, the Internet, mail, e-mails, taxes, air, and tea. Now you might say, "Tea?" Tea. Now, tea to them, as historians say, the Game Cube of the 18th century. As you know tea was, their entertainment, their comfort, their joy, their life, and to tax it, well, as people back then say, "That really sucks!" As you can imagine, they were so mad on being taxed, one man, names Samuel Adams said, "Hey, let's have a few beers, dress up as Indians, go to a ship, and dump the stuff in it!" Their reaction was, "And this "beer" you speak of, is it here?" The answer was, Yes. This is what started alcoholism, then in 1800, prohibition, which led to Al Capone, in 1861 smuggling liquor to Union soldiers, but let's not get too far ahead of ourselves. Then they went to a ship, dumped all the stuff out, and realized something; they had the wrong address. So, then after 5 tries, they got to the British ship, dumped the tea, after handing tobacco to ye old British guard. After dumping the tea, add a few lemons, sugar, cream, dead fish, and enjoy, until the "Brits" found out what happened, the soldiers, Indians, even Washington, Regan, and Nixon were swimming in it drinking the tea, also consuming slat water, which made the British mad, because they hadn't taxed that. "This led to laws that were extremely unfavorable, called the intolerably unpopular tax and rights acts. Or the I.U.T.R.A." Also, there was a new rebellion organization called Internal Conspiracy Under Pressure CO. Inc. or the I.C.U.P group. Next week, we'll learn of the Revolutionary war, War of 1812, and Jackson. Remember, when Britain comes, call B.A. Barracus (2) to take care of them, because you're probably saying, "What u talk'n bout Matt?"
Remember he looks like an egg on School House Rock? HA HA HA! 2) Mr. T
By: Matchew (
It seems little amounts of people know about the U.S, especially Americans. I'm here to help. It all goes back to the Middle Ages, where Mark Twain, Woody Allen, and King Arthur ruled. Along this period of time came the Great Britain realm, with all kings named George. In the old days the king was the king, and men were serfs, kind of like non-union workers and capitalists. In this time of "winner take all", lots of people would search for the "Holy Grail" including Sir Lancelot, Sir Isaac Newton, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, and all the other people in Europe, Africa, Asia, and the Netherlands. While they were out "grailing", the kingdoms were as vulnerable as a really vulnerable kingdom, in which kids playing jump rope could conquer Europe. This brought up the idea by philosopher Sir Gary Coleman saying, "What u talk'n bout Arthur." And Arthur went back to "Gargoyles" on Toon Disney. All kidding aside however, we're at the time of King George the III, who, in School House Rock, looked like a big egg with lipstick. With the Pilgrims long gone, and a new fad, free thought came around; people started to shout loud discouraging words at Britain such as, "I disagree!" and "I get a good chuckle out of your knickers." This infuriated the King who said, "This is an outrage!" Followed by, "I've never been so salted (1)!" This caused the king to tax latex, eggs, paper, coffee, Australia, the Internet, mail, e-mails, taxes, air, and tea. Now you might say, "Tea?" Tea. Now, tea to them, as historians say, the Game Cube of the 18th century. As you know tea was, their entertainment, their comfort, their joy, their life, and to tax it, well, as people back then say, "That really sucks!" As you can imagine, they were so mad on being taxed, one man, names Samuel Adams said, "Hey, let's have a few beers, dress up as Indians, go to a ship, and dump the stuff in it!" Their reaction was, "And this "beer" you speak of, is it here?" The answer was, Yes. This is what started alcoholism, then in 1800, prohibition, which led to Al Capone, in 1861 smuggling liquor to Union soldiers, but let's not get too far ahead of ourselves. Then they went to a ship, dumped all the stuff out, and realized something; they had the wrong address. So, then after 5 tries, they got to the British ship, dumped the tea, after handing tobacco to ye old British guard. After dumping the tea, add a few lemons, sugar, cream, dead fish, and enjoy, until the "Brits" found out what happened, the soldiers, Indians, even Washington, Regan, and Nixon were swimming in it drinking the tea, also consuming slat water, which made the British mad, because they hadn't taxed that. "This led to laws that were extremely unfavorable, called the intolerably unpopular tax and rights acts. Or the I.U.T.R.A." Also, there was a new rebellion organization called Internal Conspiracy Under Pressure CO. Inc. or the I.C.U.P group. Next week, we'll learn of the Revolutionary war, War of 1812, and Jackson. Remember, when Britain comes, call B.A. Barracus (2) to take care of them, because you're probably saying, "What u talk'n bout Matt?"
Remember he looks like an egg on School House Rock? HA HA HA! 2) Mr. T