The Way You Feel

by FelouisDurstinson

Tamaki reflects on his relationship with Haruhi. One-shot based on the song Screen by Twenty One Pilots.

A little One shot for Shammy.
I do not own Ouran.

Tamaki could never get tired of the air leaving his lungs at the sight of her. His special person, the woman who put up with all of his ridiculous shenanigans and loved him in spite of his many flaws. Just seeing her walk into the room took his breath away and sent his heart racing. He could never contain his smile when she was near and everyone knew it. Never in his life had someone been able to understand him the same way she did. He could mask his pain all he wanted but she always found a way underneath his skin. Burrowing deeper and deeper until she found the root of the problem.

Haruhi Fujioka had stumbled into his life and ripped his limited view of the world apart at the seams, and he was glad she did. She helped him to open up in a different way and to truly mature into the man he was. She knew everything about him and was his sole confidant of every secret, every wish, every dream that his mind could conjure. She always listened with rapt attention even when she had already declared he was being silly. She taught him that he could talk about the bad things, that he could cry, throw a fit, and be upset.

Haruhi never complained when he clammed up and refused to talk about what was bothering him. She would simply tell him to lie down and put his head in her lap. She would then run her fingers through his hair while humming softly to him until he fell asleep. He would always wake up feeling better and surer of himself. Haruhi was his stability and he never wanted to lose their close relationship. She was his best friend and he cherished her most of all. She had a special spot in his heart right next to his mother.

That was until the day that Tamaki realized he no longer felt that way about her. He felt more than just friendship and his love was deeper than he had first thought. He wanted to find more opportunities to be in her arms, to be close to her. He wanted to be constantly near her, hearing her laughter, smelling her sweet scent. He wanted to hold her hand and never let go. He wanted to be selfish and greedy with her. He felt even more possessive over her if that was even possible. And most of all he wanted to call her his in every sense of the word. He was absolutely terrified. He didn't know what to do, he didn't know how to handle himself around her anymore. He could no longer look at her the same way and he was afraid that would not feel the same. He was scared so he did what he did best and he reverted back to his cheerful happy-go-lucky self. He no longer sought her out after club hours to talk, he kept to himself and never mentioned a word of his feelings to anyone. He felt absolutely miserable. It was rare for Tamaki to feel this alone, this separated from his friends. He didn't know how to deal with these feelings and he certainly couldn't talk to Haruhi about it. Or at least that's what he thought.

Tamaki shouldn't have been surprised when Haruhi finally cornered him. The look in her eyes making him blush like an idiot. He knew she would be mad at him for shutting her out but it was the risk he was willing to take. This was just one secret he could not, would not share with her. He was too embarrassed and worried that she wouldn't reciprocate his feelings. When she asked him what was wrong he simply smiled at her and told her everything was fine, in fact he had had a wonderful day.

Tamaki, however, was surprised when Haruhi reached up and lightly grabbed his face. She smiled one of the most genuine smiles he had ever seen on her face as she stood on tip toe and kissed him lightly on the mouth. He was almost certain that he would stop breathing in shock. When they broke apart he couldn't help but stare at her as though it was his first time seeing her. He could not believe what had happened. He was certain that he had died and gone to heaven. His Haruhi, kissing him and smiling at him like he was the only man on earth. Surely he had to be dreaming. A warm feeling was spreading through his chest and he wanted to pull her in for another kiss. Just to feel her incredibly soft lips against his one more time, to feel his heart soar in a way he had never experienced before.

Tamaki would never forget the words she told him that afternoon, "You cannot hide your emotions from me, sempai. It's almost like you have a screen on your chest displaying all of your feelings. I can always read you at face value no matter how happy and cheerful you try to be for the others. You always try to play it cool but I like the real you, the one who can open up to me and just be yourself. I've loved you for a long time Tamaki-sempai, I've just been waiting on you to play catch up." Tamaki was willing to bet he would never hide anything from her ever again.